Your “Finally, It’s Over…OH GOD, NOW THE ACTUAL CAMPAIGN!” Tuesday Open Thread

Brief NFL briefs:

  • Someone hacked the NFL’s twitter account, and posted the news Patriots fans were waiting for.
    • Bitterness remained after the truth came out.
      • About the hack & Goodell not being dead – not deflated balls. That’s still going on.
  • 7 teams opened veteran minicamps today: The Arizona Cardinals, Cleveland Browns, Denver Broncos, Indianapolis Colts, New England Patriots, Philadelphia Eagles and San Francisco 49ers. Here are your wagers:
    • First team with a major injury to a starter
    • First Browns injury (not to be confused with…)
    • What will Mark Sanchez hurt first?
    • Over/under on positive Jimmy Garoppolo press references – I call 36
    • Will Sam Bradford snap? Tie-breaker: Before or after he gets hurt?
    • Will Kaepernick play with others? What will his story be?

Well, get out the bear spray and put the sign on the door, because after tonight the US presidential election is ON! It’s the final primaries tonight, and if it was closer then California might’ve meant something. But, given that none of the states are “winner take all”, there’s no chance – outside of the convention – to still feel the Bern.

The current stage of the Sanders campaign. Next comes “bargaining”.

Results should start coming in about 5:00 ET, in case you want to waste your evening that way.

So it’s down to a historic battle between the first major-party female candidate and the first actual tycoon candidate since John Frémont.

Whereas Trump just yells at Mexicans & poses with Western heroes.
John Fremont fought Mexicans & knew Kit Carson.

If you live in one of those identified battleground states – CO, IA, FL, NC, NH, NM, NV, OH, OR, VA, – you’d best be setting your voice mail recording to “PISS OFF”, because you are about to get a whole bunch of robocalls. And I hope you like strangers knocking at your door, because 2016 and all of that PAC money is going to get dropped on making sure you get every pamphlet and know every position the candidates hold.

BTW, it’s too late to help Bernie, and too early to help Trump, but good ol’ boy Roger Clinton grabbed himself a DUI on Sunday night. I’m guessing he thought his 2001 pardon was a lifetime pass.

To squash more of your hopes for a peaceful summer – don’t think if you live outside one of those battleground states you’re going to be immune from the madness. There are 34 Senate seats up, and the Republicans have to defend 24 of those. Given that there’s already one SCOTUS seat in limbo, I hope you enjoy being harassed walking into & out of Target & Costco.

To improve your mood before the comments, here’s some Pet Shop Boys.

I’ll be seeing them LIVE on October 24th. I may be the only breeder there.


Tonight’s Copa Schedule:

  • USA vs Costa Rica – 8:00 – @ Soldier Field
  • Colombia vs Paraguay – 10:30 – @ the Rose Bowl

I wonder whose anthem will get screwed up tonight? Sunday was Uruguay, and Monday was Chile. Here’s hoping they’ve dusted off Carl Lewis for another Chicago appearance.

Alternative Programming:

  • ABC – “The Bachelorette” – 8:00
    • Is Aaron Rodgers’ brother still on? How many of them have VD yet? So many questions…
  • Showtime – “60 Minutes Sports” – 9:00
    • this will be where they show the somewhat-talked about Marshawn Lynch interview.
  • VH1 – “Purple Rain” – 9:00

I discovered that there is apparently a “Univision Canada” channel, and it is the network showing the Copa up here. Since it’s neither a mandatory French channle nor part of my optional cable packages, it’s been all questionable streams for me. I think my wife would prefer I watch Russian porn on my iPad than garbled Russian TV feeds.

THAT ARRANGED CAN BE!

 

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Off to watch last week’s The Americans.
I much prefer fictional politics. But tonight I’d rather watch The Americans.
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JerBear50

I can’t hear Kurt Metzger’s voice without thinking of this show. It was definitely hit and miss but it had its moments.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ladyfriend has control of the tv right now, how are the SPROTS going?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

The ‘Merica game is over. We won proving we are the greatest. No NHL or NBA tonight

Shogun Marcus

I almost (nowhere near) feel bad for Paul Ryan. He is Dante from Clerks.
Didn’t want speaker job, was essentially forced. Check.
Didn’t want to support drumpf, stuck, does so. Check.
Immediately regrets this, still stuck. Check.
Could potentially lose his job now because the quik stop is on fire. Check.
He wasn’t even supposed to be here today.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

He absolutely wanted to be speaker. That was a show. More importantly, he, Eric Cantor, and Kevin McCarthy are the ones who enabled and empowered the Tea Party thinking they could control them, pushing the party to the right, rejecting compromise, and fomenting the very environment that led to Trump. In conclusion, fuck Paul Ryan.

http://www.ontheissues.org/Young_Guns.jpg

Shogun Marcus

Hey I said almost not really. My bigger problem is Ron Johnson. That guy has a collection of tiny shoes in his basement.

Unsurprised

I just hope Trump makes Ryan give him a blowjob at the convention.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That shouldn’t take long.

Unsurprised

Ryan was an altar boy. He knows how to make it last.

Sill Bimmons
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

“IT’S 1 O’CLOCK IN THE AFTERNOON AND YOU ARE PISS ASS DRUNK”

Sill Bimmons

USE BOTH HANDS GOOD YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND STRONG KEEP GOING GOOD THAT’S IT ALMOST THERE YES YES YES GOING TO SLEEP MODE HERE IS CAB FARE

http://24.media.tumblr.com/bc90fc88e1e3dd0de270b88b96daa574/tumblr_mmke1l7Of01s8qxalo1_400.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

Flawless getaway…ya dumb fucking dog.
http://i.makeagif.com/media/6-29-2015/klcVJC.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

Catz, the other hand, plan ‘dey shit out.
That’s why you should fear your cat.
http://24.media.tumblr.com/79b1ad02fb8e27190be27a35ecb87b8b/tumblr_n66p3e8ktG1t4iob6o1_400.gif

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

This is for WCS since he lead me to random IASIP tonight and his love of Dee

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3BEUX5n0nY

WCS

WCS

Sill Bimmons

Don’t want to be sexist and forget our beautiful betters fucking themselves up:

http://www.gifbin.com/bin/032011/1298985754_woman-soldier-kick-fail.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

Coach!!!! I got a wicked bad hip pointer!!!!!

Unsurprised

Shame it wasn’t Joey Crawford.

Don T

“So we honor the proud history of 100 years of South American soccer championships. By dissing their countries’ most known national symbols.”
-South American Euros organizers

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/copa-america-organisers-make-yet-8130800

WCS

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

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Unsurprised

Are we not doing phrasing anymore?

JustStopDude

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WCS

YYYYYEEEEEHHHHHHAAAAWWWWWWWWW MY NUTS ARE FUCKIN’ ON FIRE CUZ I AM FUCKIN’ CRAZY!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Someone posted Bobby Lee doing this a few comments ago, I figure you all deserve an Alison Brie take on it

http://cdn.rsvlts.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/Alison-Brie-GIF-035.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus

Much more preferable.
Thank you.

JustStopDude

comment image?w=550

WCS

At least that’s one less Drumpf vote.

JustStopDude

I’m giving training to a Canadian group that purchased some drives and motors from our company. So I get to do safety training…

Today we learned the dangers of hydraulics and the medical term “de-gloving”…

Unsurprised

OW OW OW OW OW OW

theeWeeBabySeamus

HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THAT BEFORE?????
(and lest I forget)
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JustStopDude

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Sill Bimmons

“Murder Among Friends” at 22:00 on ID is about a D&D murder.

http://dungeonsmaster.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/encounters-15-dice.jpg

...

So… am I missing the impetus for tonight’s theme?

JustStopDude
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Moose posted one pic as the game got out of control and we followed

theeWeeBabySeamus

LIke I said….

...

Moose is our muse, after all.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL. I forget. Kind of mish-mash with leanings toward dumb fails…with a particular emphasis on nut shots I guess.

So yeah, pretty much Tuesday.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

‘At’ll teach you to throw me, ya cracker ass cracker.

Horatio Cornblower

That guy’s testicles are GONE.

JustStopDude

I would love to see like a flow chart for the logic that is being applied by this situation…. I mean…multiple people are involved here.

JerBear50

We will do stupid things ————-> People will pay attention to us. End of flow chart.

Unsurprised

Does Bourble fall before or after step 1?

JerBear50

I think that depends on ones personal level of neediness.

JerBear50

And I think the election analogy needs no further explanation.

JustStopDude
Unsurprised

MadTV skit?

JustStopDude

Yes. Bobby Lee filming his video game, “Dragon Slayer II” or something like that.

Unsurprised

This was a great SNL sketch. https://vimeo.com/25922385

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
theeWeeBabySeamus

First rule of bunting…if you offer at it, make contact.
CHECK!!!!!

WCS

I’m glad these guys are doing a fine jorb of eliminating themselves from the gene pool on their own.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

My dad is scream ranting about how bad the USMNT is right now while they are up 3-0

JustStopDude

White people…what will you all do next?!?

Sill Bimmons

We’ll do anything to get above the rim!

WCS

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...

Manifest destiny.

WCS

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Unsurprised

ICRM’s posts is a reminder that the most brutal nut shot we have or will see today is learning that Roger Goodell didn’t actually die.

http://66.media.tumblr.com/34e43f35515d2428809d5dcf7ae82859/tumblr_nruba8orhZ1qbbmmro1_500.gif

...

But, I mean, the NFL getting humiliated publicly like that was pretty fucking sweet.

Sill Bimmons
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

I love this!!!!!
And I’m not even sure why!!!!!!
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Unsurprised

BULLY!

Unsurprised

I don’t know who Daisy Lea is, but I appreciate her choice in wardrobe.

http://imgbox.com/g/uaw0791DyQ (NSFW)

theeWeeBabySeamus

Still had the tab open, didn’t want to waste this one.
/has done something sadly similar in the not terribly distant past
//though not on such a shitty little pissant bike
http://www.totalprosports.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/BMX-Faceplant1.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

If you get taken out by someone whipping her hair at you, you deserve to die.

Horatio Cornblower

Nice of the color guy not to bring up the bags of urine Central American fans are famous for hurling at the USMNT.

JustStopDude

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Don’t even want to know.

...

Hey, guys! Did you see the news?! THE REALLY GOOD NEWS?! Roger Goodell di–

…oh.

Goddamn it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Horatio Cornblower

My wife will do it for free under the right, (wrong?), circumstances.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh