Your “Random Odds & Ends” Friday Open Thread

NFL News:

The look of a man tired of Matt Stafford.
  • Megatron admitted the culture & acceptance of losing in Detroit factored into his decision to retire. They went 54-90 during his 9 years, only making the playoffs twice. He admitted more success would have made it more difficult to retire, so he looked at what they had on hand for 2016 and made the decision. Renew those tickets, Lions fans!
  • Alshon Jeffrey is playing hardball with the Bears, who have until July 15 to get a deal or watch him play under the franchise tag for 2016. The tag will cost $14.6 million, and he apparently wants Doug Baldwin money. The Bears would like him to come in a bit cheaper.
  • Looks safe to me.

    Packers Hall of Famer Paul Hornung is suing Riddell over claims their helmets didn’t prevent him from suffering concussions during his playing days in both college and the pros. He is trying to tie in concussive head injuries with the dementia he’s developed since his playing days. He’s seeking $50000 in damages, and the case is separate from the class-action lawsuit being considered by the NFLPA once they settle with the League.

Finally, in a delightfully titled article – “Ricky Williams Takes the High Road” – SI is planning a video and large-form story for July 13 on Ricky Williams and the tricky issue of medical marijuana and the League’s rules on non-traditional medicines. Given Megatron’s recent accusations on painkiller abuses by the League, it should be an interesting read & watch.


Your July “Malt of the Month” is The Glenlivet “Nadurra”.

Ooh, she’s a summer beauty. Let’s see what you told Mr Hefner…

Nadurra is Gaelic for ‘natural’, and this bourbon-cask matured whisky from Glenlivet is a pure reflection of the elegant, fruity whisky made at this Speyside distillery.

Bottling at cask strength with no chill filtration allows the whisky’s fruity character shine through, while the cask adds richer notes of vanilla.

Oh, that’s nice. Now, before we publish this, let’s see what your ID says, young lady:

Colour: Light gold
Nose: Sweet pears, soft vanilla fudge
Palate: Juicy pineapple, ripe banana, citrus zest
Finish: Medium, refreshing
Enjoy with: Seafood chowder

Well, I’m sold. I’mma get you home to meet the family.


It’s only 17 days until training camps open. 17…

To whet your whistle, here’s a CFL missed field goal returned 121 yards for a touchdown.

https://youtu.be/9tv3bGE9fxE


Plenty of good sports this weekend. UFC 200 Saturday night (BORK!), and the Euro final Sunday morning. Most Canadians will be watching Wimbledon prior to the Euro, to see if Milos Raonic can finish his magical run. He finally beat Federer today, and faces Andy Murray for the Men’s title on Sunday.

Tonight’s sports:

  • CFL: more doubleheader action!
    • Calgary @ Ottawa – 7:00 – TSN
    • Saskatchewan @ Edmonton – 10:00 – ESPN2 / TSN
  • UFC: The Ultimate Fighter – finale – FS1 / TSN5
    • Undercard – 8:00
    • Main event – 10:00

I’m abandoning you all for a bit. Thanks to everyone who agreed to cover the open threads next week while my mom visits and I get my summer school class under control. I enjoy doing them, as writing them both keeps me thinking and gives me a necessary distraction from prepping grammar lessons. But the time commitment of visiting relatives will subtract from the available time I have to manage my efforts. In short, IN OVER MY HEAD!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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WCS

Gratliff

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkFqg5wAuFk

I’m surprised this doesn’t have more official covers. It’s such a fun song.

Unsurprised

That’s no way to talk about Horatio’s old lady

Unsurprised

Thanks, Vice!
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Are you fucking kidding me?

Well, they will now!

Unsurprised

I have no experience with this, but the idea that a man could or would ever withdraw while at the cusp of climax seems more insane that purple monkey dishwasher.

...

My image of Vice Media will always be shaped by the scene in Page One in which David Carr snarks the shit out of them for being absolute douchebags.

http://www.nytimes.com/video/business/100000003509105/page-one-david-carr-confronts-vice.html

...

Oh, you fucking retarded Vice reporter, all of those Liberians were totally fucking with you and you didn’t even realize it.

Spanky Datass

Welp, the weather in my little corner of flyover country went from hot and sultry delta blues to light show rock n roll in about eleven seconds. Now the power is out and I’m on my phone. Is there an air conditioner app on this thing?

JustStopDude

At work today….

We have a new drive. I have to give training on it in two weeks. A bunch of people got to go to Japan to get trained on it. I was not one of them. So I get to sit there in a warehouse, with this fucking 4160V drive, told to prepare the training…and DON’T FUCKING BREAK IT.

Well my Japanese is slightly worse than my Italian…so I spend most of the time trying to convert the shit to Engrish…than into English…the whole time not exploding a very expensive drive and getting myself killed.

Eventually I start running into software problems. Throughout this week, I have been sending bug reports about these problems. But now, I am stuck. Basically trying to get this drive to work is impossible. I get the main software guy to show up and show him his program is eating itself.

“You make a bug report?”

“I’m averaging 3 a day for the last five days straight. Be nice if you guys would respond”

“No you haven’t” – pissed, I show him my outgoing email box.

“Where did you get that email address? That isn’t the right one to file a bug report”

I proceed to show him how the software directs people to send the email to said address.

“Huh…you know…I thought it was weird we never get bug reports”

I told the guy I was done for the day. I had to go start drinking (this was around 2pm today)…and that is what I have been doing since.

Unsurprised

Zero bug reports? We must be fucking AWESOME!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

Unsurprised

Fucking a green chick? Do I look like Bill Shatner to you?

ballsofsteelandfury

Hey, I fell asleep, did the BC Lions win last night?

WCS

I don’t know, but, my daughter fell asleep for 20 minutes last night, just enough time for me to drift off too, and then she woke up screaming for three hours.

http://img.pandawhale.com/post-19259-so-I-got-that-going-for-me-whi-CKYI.gif

WCS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Is it weird that I think she should’ve just said so then?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No, some banana bread is pretty damn good.

Gratliff

Alright. More major protests, this time in Atlanta. Let’s play “How Long Can Grat Handle CNN’s Coverage?”

Unsurprised

I already tuned out and I haven’t watched CNN since 2000.

...

This is like saying, “Let’s play ‘How long can I dump hot wax onto my eyeball?'”

Wakezilla

Cops killed the last night’s shooter using a robot bomb. That’s some terrifying dystopian future shit right there.

http://3uqfoj8rqn912yhyb3z5mgju.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/016.jpg

Gratliff

On one hand, good. On the other, you know that shit’s gonna become standard gear for drug busts.

JustStopDude

You ever catch old episodes, from the like the 80’s, of that show Cops?

Its like another fucking country. They talk crackheads down.

Now..its you show ID. Too slow, tazer. Too fast, gun.

Unsurprised

Gee, I can’t imagine why that changed.

JustStopDude

Cause cops face a far lower killed in the line of duty rate today than during the 60’s?

Unsurprised

It’s one of the safest professions in America. Meanwhile, police violence has escalated as law enforcement became militarized to fight the war on drugs, the war on terror, and I guess now the war on everyone who isn’t them using genuine war surplus.

God, this country is stupid.

laserguru
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Gratliff

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/001/128/682/0ff

I’ve pretty much given up trying to keep track of meme trends.

Gratliff

I really should read URLs before posting them

Unsurprised

Fucking gamer nerds

Wakezilla
Unsurprised

Pizza

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sushi; someone break the tie.

Mr. Ayo

Whatever her name is, do that. Or Pizza

laserguru

I think the picture decided for you already.

Unsurprised

I appreciate this photoshoot.

King Hippo

I would like to shake her hand.

Wakezilla

Love this woman so much

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Wakezilla

/would do her dry cleaning

Sill Bimmons

Because Disney didn’t later cover theirs up with a red circle after it was revealed that they had stolen an unattributed image from a white supremacist Twitter feed?

herodotus450

I think he’s just mad that it only came with 48 stickers.

King Hippo

Also…uh, Walt Disney was a MASSIVE fucking anti-Semite!!

Sill Bimmons

True, but the man has been dead for like 40 years.

Trump’s not dead yet.

Sill Bimmons

We’re also talking about two discrete instances, one which has a blatant anti-Semitic message and one that doesn’t.

Disney’s anti-semitism is irrelevant to the discussion and is a textbook example of the rhetorical fallacy known as poisoning the well.

JustStopDude
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

It must be hot as balls to do that to a cactus.

Wakezilla
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WAG or SWAG? FWAG?

Unsurprised

Hmm.

Unsurprised

HMMM

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They invisible boy suffers from several rashes associated with extended stays in women’s locker rooms.

Unsurprised

I’ve seen that video.

King Hippo

Disney Kids After Dark??

Unsurprised

Starring Veronica Zemanova. It’s a classic.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

What is the point of threatening to or telling someone you’re unfollowing them? That’s just pure assholery.

Wakezilla

There’s a lot of people who think they’re opinions matter. I blame social media. Also, they’re idiots

Unsurprised

Oh. Of course.

King Hippo

Just delightful. Always thought she seemed cool.

The Maestro

3rd tallboy has been cracked with 3 mins left in the 2nd and Ottawa leads Calgary 13-7. Fuck those Prairie hicks.

King Hippo

#noofence

King Hippo

Oh, God. That Winger song. STORY TIME.

My junior year at State, my Chilean drinking buddy and I met a couple of girls at a party. For some reason (ok, booze and/or good pot) I had the stones to ask for – and actually GET – their number. For some more inexplicable reason, I had the further balls to call them back mid-week and ask them to the Drivin-n-Cryin concert the following weekend.

(personal fave):

As the one who lined this up, I got “first choice” as to who I got to hit on, and I dodged a bullet with “not Harper” who had no interest in me whatsoever (and also had a social disease, it turned out). My Chilean buddy had met his soon to be ex-wife.

But after they had been dating a few weeks, she confessed that they were not actually freshmen at St. Mary’s COLLEGE (an all-ladyfolk institution near NC State), but rather residential seniors at St. Mary’s HIGH SCHOOL. And yes….she was 17.

So, for the next maybe 6-12 months whenever he got off the phone with her, or when she left the house or a party, one or more of us assholes would break into “She’s only seventeeeeen”

You see, ladies, this is how men treat other men when we LIKE one another. It is very strange.

King Hippo

somehow, I don’t suspect my for reals acid trip experience with a herd of hippos would be as fun and frolicky as in Moose’s gifs. BUT A NINJA CAN DREAM!!

/smgdh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Ariel Winter’s boobs are trying to escape, or as 8/10 people on ESPN say ‘excape’, through an opening.

http://66.media.tumblr.com/b1ca2c563d0fc705406d8b4caa288ee1/tumblr_oa0k35O1xT1ric2iqo1_1280.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Maybe they feel threatened?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Wakezilla

Me in the CFL thread: Lions are doing well because Elimimian is back and their O and D line are playing well.

One night later: Elimimian is missing tackles like he has never played football before and both lines were going to their knees faster than a Surrey girl on the first date. (Regional humour).

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I have a cousin in White Rock, and from what he has told me, this is not untrue.

Unsurprised

Excuse me. I need to hop on a bus to White Rock.

Wakezilla

Transit to white rock? Shit, if you’re lucky, you might get there by Sunday

Unsurprised

Great play. Reminds me of the Auburn win over Bama.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqIBNX0CXDc
I miss football.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

In short, IN OVER MY HEAD!

“You and me both, buddy.”

– Danny Woodhead, attempting to enjoy his hotel’s jacuzzi

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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