This week can eat an endless Vegas-style buffet of ass. El beisbol is interminable enough as it is without taking a 96-hour fucking coma in the middle of a COMPLETE FUCKING DROUGHT of sporting competition. No Lesser Footy, no el tenis, no fucking nothing. Just time to sit around and reflect thoughtfully about our miserable fucking lives. Yeah, I feel fucking fantastic. How about you?
But really, I miss the fucking NFL. Like a drug, man. Here is Pablo Neruda’s Sonnet 69, and you try to tell me this ain’t written in July about the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE ,, smh:
Maybe nothingness is to be without your presence,
without you moving, slicing the noon
like a blue flower, without you walking
later through the fog and the cobbles,without the light you carry in your hand,
golden, which maybe others will not see,
which maybe no one knew was growing
like the red beginnings of a rose.In short, without your presence: without your coming
suddenly, incitingly, to know my life,
gust of a rosebush, wheat of wind:since then I am because you are,
since then you are, I am, we are,
and through love I will be, you will be, we’ll be.
I suppose there is the ultimate bloodsport, politics. Which brings to a Dennis Miller style rant I’ve been meaning to have in full for some time. I do believe we are getting ready to have a lovely landslide of epic fucking proportions. Why you think this, Hippo? You may ask? Well, for one thing, I don’t think it is good political strategy to have an openly racist and nativist campaign in 2016 (even pre-repentant George Wallace would stage whisper to Donald “hey dude, you sayin’ the quiet parts out loud”) without the black fella on the ticket. And believe me, if the GOP professionals thought this would have worked in 2008 or 2012, they would have fucking done it. There is a reason they are all on the teevee box shitting their pants this summer, and it’s not because teh Donald is ‘speaking truth to power.’ It’s because he’s showing all the ugliness behind the curtain, and making it one hell of a lot harder to shove back in the box and talk about in code going forward. Even if the pissed off primary electorate loses badly enough in the general to nominate someone at least nominally tethered to sanity once again.
Also, please don’t give me the “awwww, come on, it’s just an act” or “the media’s just making a big deal out of nothing” until you read THIS. I mean, holy tapdancing shit, Batman. If you read that, and aren’t scared out of your goddamned mind and sickened to your very core…I don’t know what to tell you.
A major part of my political radar, as an INTJ, is finding “voices” that I trust. Because there is obviously a lot of noise out there, and TV news is just the lowest common demoninator. Josh Marshall of TPM is one of my trusted voices. Measured, reasonable, and thoughtful. He’s been right on the sweet spot with Trump from jump street, and has pointed out over and over the key to his persona – authoritarianism. He doesn’t really believe in much of anything from an intellectual standpoint, but from the “hand size” debate, you can see clearly that he 100% believes in the “strong man” (and yes, he ONLY means MAN) theory of governance. And it relies strongly, almost exclusively, on the sense of dangerous “others” in one’s midst. So you see him trying to inflame racial tensions, with blatant falsehoods. He’d be glad to see America burn just like the most troubled parts of Europe, if it gave him more power and adulation.
But wait, isn’t HillyBob just as bad?
FUCK. RIGHT. OFF.
Hillary Clinton is a typical center-left politician (with typical politician strengths and weaknesses), who has an unfortunate penchant for secrecy. She is also a notoriously bad campaigner.
But she is also somebody who learns from her mistakes (big plus in Hippo’s book, shows humility). After bitterly losing to Obama in 2008, she not only campaigned her ass off for him, but also worked closely with him…and his key campaign advisers. Almost to a man and woman, those who worked with her grew to very much like and respect her, and are on board her team in 2016. Which, apparently, is true with respect to her time in the Senate and at the State Department. Anyone who works with her for any significant amount of time (even going into it skeptically) comes out impressed. She is warm in one-on-one situations, and extremely diligent. Most importantly, TOTES SANE.
HillyBob is also doing something that I also just recently noticed, with bringing Evan Bayh out of mothballs to run for Senate in Indiana (to piss all over Trump’s VP selection), the same week she rolled out the Sanders endorsement. She is bringing the big tent back, and bringing it in a big way. The platform will be significantly to the left, and indeed the left has almost completely won the public over on social issues like gay rights, with swiftness I never could have imagined (no small thanks to a big assist from Diamond Joe Biden). But it’s left in an inclusive fashion, that doesn’t leave anyone with an open mind behind. It’s a carefully woven web, intended to stand broadly for enlightenment values and encourage the opposition to keep painting itself into a narrower and narrower corner. Once the campaign is over, most agree that she is a chess player in terms of dealing with people and wielding power persuasively.
No, I am not concerned about the Wall Street types and Republican era defense folks who are supporting her. This is the center-right edge of the tent. To be honest, my ideal government (economically) is one that Wall Street can live with but is not running. I’m not convinced that being at war with them is a good thing. Certainly filling them up with blow and handing them the keys to MURRIKA doesn’t work either. Let’s go with detente? Also, please note that it’s the sane, foreign policy “realists” who are defecting, not the “neocons.”
Which brings me to my next point – trust. This is what causes her share of the vote to fluctuate in polls. Trump stays at 38-41 no matter what, because he’s just gutter trash. But people don’t trust HillyBob, and she’s given them reason not to. But I urge you to think about this – after competing with her, in ways that got beyond heated at times, then working closely with her for 8 years…Barack Obama trusted Hillary Clinton with his legacy. And he trusted her SO MUCH that he had to tell a good friend and equally trusted ally, the aforementioned Diamond Joe, no. That means a great deal to me, and I think it’s worth at least a pause and a thought to you. I’m also certain he made sure no stone was unturned in the stupid e-mail investigation.
Last, but not least, do it for The Notorious RBG. She may be doing things “not befitting the Court” but she’s doing this FOAR the greater good. This here election will determine the ideological bent of the Supreme Court for the next 20+ years. Period, full stop. You want to keep gay marriage (or any gay rights at all, for that matter)? Vote Clinton. You want abortion to stay legal everywhere (or anywhere at all, for that matter – don’t be surprised if the anti-Roe majority under President Trump also finds that a fetus has the full rights of a “person” under the Constitution and outlaws abortion as murder everywhere, no exceptions)? Vote Clinton. You want to overturn Citizens United because you don’t believe money is speech (and/or you don’t believe in Hippo’s “big tent” and want it to be possible for left leftist candidates to win elections before you’re dead)? Vote Clinton.
END RANT.
In honor of jjfozz’ series, I will close with a happy “song of summer” tune, without any depressing lyrics whatsoever. WOO!
McConaughey has gone full Cruise as Randall Flag. http://i.imgur.com/H6KUAgn.jpg
h
ttp://i.imgur.com/H6KUAgn.jpg
Oh goddammit, I forgot about the Dark Tower. I thought you were talking about a Stand remake and got all excited.
My bad.
I really, really want to see The Stand get the full big-screen trilogy treatment one of these days, instead of just a network miniseries.
Can’t I have one thing in my life that doesn’t require hyper-intensity?
Evening
She looks like a younger version of the states attorney from The Wire.
Maitland Ward is an Internet hero.
Not familiar with her, but I’m good with that description.
That’s a deep connection
http://67.media.tumblr.com/4fa5461a3ff758a423701f7d0099e753/tumblr_oaatpa76XA1qf9csoo1_400.gif
http://www.rdex.net/anim_gifs/gifs/epic-fail-spray-wash-fail.gif
http://67.media.tumblr.com/297b690c16a18e346046a1af61e26268/tumblr_o8gjfvTiiC1u1vkloo1_1280.jpg
http://files.gamebanana.com/img/ico/sprays/52877a278afb1.gif
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view4/2031542/zoidberg-scuttle-o.gif
Oddly hypnotic
Even the cup can’t dry him off.
It is even funnier because it is Crosby.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/60a60a704b9ada08ed4acecbb3311316/tumblr_mlepjnS8HG1r3qv9to1_1280.jpg
http://67.media.tumblr.com/2454853a6f3d7a82c03c09ab7ae00a42/tumblr_o9ls72Akrm1uxticxo3_400.gif
I only just saw the Archer DVD extra where he is blown up and the reconstructive surgery makes him look like H. Jon Benjamin. Holy shit, that’s funny.
https://youtu.be/i4ejtH4Vq4o
So…
I just experienced my first “kid shat all over herself with such ferocity and smell that I retched twice and nearly puked” episode. That was… interesting.
After snorting an Ativan, I will be hitting The Liquor later. I know mixing benzos and booze isn’t good, but, Jeebus.
ah, welcome to parenting hell Level Two. There are many MOAR to go. Keep teh pills and booze handy.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/a84875cf28fd274abfa527312fc711f7/tumblr_oa4ja2A63i1udk29oo1_400.gif
http://www.halfassedproductions.com/articles/051906/spray.gif
Not dissimilar.
http://i.imgflip.com/b6sa.gif
“Fozz shit spray” turns up some odd images.
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/102010/1286533237_chick-pepper-sprays-herself.gif
Suggest you don’t GIS that phrase BTW.
on the bright side, it gets worse from there
Huh. Something to look forward to then…
If it is still happening in high school you may need to do some research.
DON’T BLAME ME, I ALWAYS VOTE FOR ME
WITH DICK NIXON AS MY RUNNING MATE
I WILL NOMINATE GENERAL GRANT TO THE SUPREME COURT
The Dick Nixon Twitter account used to be fascinating to read. Genuinely good analysis.
Nicely said, Hippo. We’re about to hear a fuckton of noise about immigrants thanks to Nice (no idea about the terrorist asshole yet but so what), but we need to focus on Trump’s inability to think about anything other than Trump. I believe Hillary will make a fine President and will vote for her enthusiastically. And watching Teabagger heads explode will only strengthen my semi.
I’m still bummed that Ted Cruz is out of the running…
http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.1703241.1393465901!/img/httpImage/image.jpg_gen/derivatives/article_750/afa-192646.jpg
I am intrigued by what he’ll say at the convention given how much shit Trump have him.
I think Hillary wins.
Voting for Donald Trump though — man, that’s literally a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity…
Don’t do it man I’m pretty sure that’s how brexit happened
I just don’t know if I can, you know, NOT vote Trump.
Also, why isn’t Lefty getting any love in these liveblogs? 63 (almost 62) is as impressive as being this cycle’s status quo politician that we all know is horrible but can’t afford to vote against.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lofr78e3QC1qludboo1_500.gif
http://img.ifcdn.com/images/399d0a2184764519cfde3df067a507a7c893b404e16c98afdd99864a73a4fab6_1.gif
http://49.media.tumblr.com/549669e7b499678bc148caded7a4782b/tumblr_nq0ce2cekP1s02vreo1_400.gif
Wow…I fucked that up pretty badly….
http://45.media.tumblr.com/f0774f8566ffd5c8613d0e570e75a5f9/tumblr_nq0ce2cekP1s02vreo2_400.gif
Introducing the Tesla Matador.
http://img.ifcdn.com/images/399d0a2184764519cfde3df067a507a7c893b404e16c98afdd99864a73a4fab6_1.gif
welcome to fucking reality, kid!
http://38.media.tumblr.com/698de3399511f4d600dc799de2121dc3/tumblr_naicdjOgRG1s0mbfho1_250.gif
You know what would be cool…if Trump went full crazy on the VP selection. Not Palin…Lisa Ann, the porn actress that played Sarah Palin.
Just watch at US society implodes.
Especially because the RNC called porn a public health menace.
It would be a brilliant move as I am still not convinced that Trump actually wants to be president.
He wants to win the election, not be president.
fortunately, the GOP believes all health menaces should be handled on your own. presumably, in a dark room.
I would vote for Lisa Ann, though.
And she’s not even among my top five over-40 porn actresses (not that I rank them or anything sad like that, but there are more than a handful who come to mind before her).
Alright. I’ve had my fill of being an informed voter. Time to block everything out with Overwatch.
http://2new4.fjcdn.com/funny_gifs/Overwatch_ac6c79_5917974.gif
http://i.makeagif.com/media/5-11-2015/222hsj.gif
Sick air and a IN THE FACE! all in one gif.
Truly a masterpiece.
Flipping through the channels. On one random one, its showing COPS. I have no clue where. So there is a dude being chased in the car. Like 20 cop cars involved.. They throw down spikes. At one point, the driver sticks a gun out the window and fires a shot, before the car goes into a ditch. The cops pull him out and ask him why he didn’t stop and why he shot at them.
Jesus Christ it must be nice to be white in America.
/I realize that when there is a TV company following the cops, they are far less likely to go full bore…but come the fuck on! The dude fires a pistol while fleeing. Meanwhile a brother gets told to show his ID and gets filled with fucking lead reaching for his wallet.
Scripted reality tv?
Oh snap. Came back from commercial. Couple driving while interracial. So its about fifteen cops have a BMW surrounded, demanding to know where the brother got the MBA from. Keep asking his wife if she was kidnapped.
Aaaaand we’re back.
You pretty much pointed out why all the rationalizations of how blacks are treated by police are shit. All you have to do is put the white and black experience side by side to see the shocking differences.
Today done. Sayonara society while I zone the world out.
Lindemann-Skills in Pills
http://youtu.be/MPNrTBZTJ5U
Doc is staying REAL thin, and he said no to teh pie. Hmmmmmmm.
Isn’t it rude not to eat someone’s pie if offered?
Tender. But not flaky.
It may or may not be true that I did something similar to this, but to myself, a few months ago.
you should get a script written FOAR THAT!!
Good news was that I unintentionally confirmed, in the family room, that the throttle worked fine and the prop was nice and sharp.
Which saved time needed for ER visits and sutures and such.
Actually, I didn’t end up getting sutures, but probably should have. Funny thing is that there I am in the floor trying to shut the damned thing down as it’s shredding my leg, I’m bleeding all over everything, and laughing my ass off.
And also it scared the shit out of the cat too. So I was also laughing at that.
I only have this abortion on (muted) so my addled, early-Alzheimers (undiagnosed, I am just NC State-paranoid about EVERYTHING) brain doesn’t forget to watch the “Doc and Darryl” 30 FOAR 30.
/when your headache is gone and you wanna ride on, COCAINE!
Psst…you got some paper I can borrow?
Mm. Milwaukee police chief pulls the all lives matter thing, mentions black on black crime, and calls for gun control. That’s a man that likes to read a lot of DMs.
Chicago gets shit for being racist and segregated (which is justified) but Milwaukee is probably worse.
As much as I hate to admit even visiting U***x, they did have a good post about what should be obvious: that there is a false dichotomy created by racists and assholes putting BLM vs. police.
The comments were naturally a clusterfuck of idiocy.
I hope it was in slideshow form and THIS FALSE DICHOTOMY WILL BLOW YOUR MIND!
Nope. Like I said, a genuinely good post.
This is a particularly worthless townhall. They were so fucking concerned with getting all the right faces on camera that they have Alton Sterling’s kid sitting next to Dan Patrick while he was bitching that Obama didn’t care enough about cops being killed.
Jesus Christ. Fuck everything.
Well, that was worth it just to watch the mom whoop the fuck out of her kid
I didn’t even know who Sen. Tim Scott was until yesterday. Now I learn he’s a black US senator from South Carolina and I learned this while reading his speech on the senate floor about being stopped seven times in one year for being black, including having to put up with this shit inside the Capitol by a Capitol police officer. I think he was supposed to unveil plans for a solution to the police problem today. I don’t know. I’ve been avoiding most of this shit because I cannot care.
He’d be perfect for Trump. That said, I doubt he’s even on a prospective list. Anyway, fuck politics and everything and everyone. I’m listening to a DJ in a hotel lobby while drinking Stumptown because I’ve officially become that asshole.
He picked the Indiana guy, whoever he is.
needed to firm up his gay bashing bona fides, apparently. Also, Pence was super willing to kiss Trump’s ass, which was criteria A #1.
What about a gay bash?
http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/community-sitcom/images/f/f8/3×06-Gay_Bash.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/640?cb=20130924182248
Not good when it’s nearing the convention and you’re still trying to shore up the diehards of the base.
Seems that wasting the VP pick on a Senator is considered a macro level bad move this year, due to how close the Senate is going to end up (and, in the case of many of the D choices, the seat would be filled by appointment of an R governor).
Which makes me think Trump is still going to go up there and announce Condi Rice as his running mate, even though she has declined.
What better place to announce than at the Factory of Sadness
Condi is a Browns fan!!
Any candidate that on paper makes sense for the GOP won’t touch Trump because they all have futures with the party and no one but the truly desperate would tie their fate to Trump.
Nice shorts, fucktard.
http://img.pandawhale.com/45339-Thanks-Obama-bike-jump-crash-g-wno9.gif
Are there a lot more NC State people than UNC folk, or is that just the deal around here?
Define “NC State people”.
We turn out more graduates every year. They have way more of a non-graduate fanbase because they cheat to win and generate money and more new fans and more money and more cheating and….
Yeah, so…yes and no.
NC State fans/supporters.
I mean, I’m plenty familiar with the dudes-who-still-want-to-wear-baby-blue-when-their-cubs-tee-is-dirty UNC fans. Just, outside of here, I don’t come across as much active hate for the Heels (outside of their position as a major fixture in NCAA basketball). Don’t get me wrong, I love the hate and, thanks to Steve Keim, prefer NCSU over UNC myself. But I’d have never guessed NCSU graduates more students each year.
I would guess that maybe half of the affiliated in the state are Hole fans, maybe 20% Pack, 15% Duke, 15% miscellaneous others.
We’ve got just two schools but since ASU is in Phoenix, unless you’re an alumni, everyone pretty much defaults against them to UA (even the NAU hippies in Flagstaff side with UA in the rivalry games).
I just didn’t know how it worked in states where people were, you know, literate.
It’s very similar to the ASU/UofA dynamic with an extra group of asshats (Duke), sadsacks (Wake) and wannabe’s (ECU) thrown in for good measure.
yeah, Wake people are fun because they hate themselves even more than Jets fans. ECU are basically methheads with even fewer teeth and more belly fat.
Wake is private and not for profit? What the hell — why do they even bother?
They got SO CLOSE with Chris Paul and Tim Duncan. The pain just lingers for them.
And of course…they’ve won the damned league in JV NFL much more recently than State or U*NC have…
Once Grand Canyon University is cut loose in the D1 ranks, I look forward to watching them “paint the valley purple”. They can be our — ECU?
It’s mostly like that in NC now, but 30 years ago was closer to an even split because State competed at a higher level. And I definitely wouldn’t assume Hole fans (grad or non) to be literate.
oh good Christ no. We even coined the term “Wal-Mart fans” cause there are so many that couldn’t so much as find Chapel Hole on the map…
I like reading some version of the following on so many university Wikipedia pages:
In 1862, during the American Civil War, the school closed due to the loss of most students and some faculty to service in the Confederate States Army.
http://d22zlbw5ff7yk5.cloudfront.net/images/stash-1-50ecc06bacb71.gif
http://28oa9i1t08037ue3m1l0i861.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/comment_JvRP5cuxQAR87NnLVRzT4QihfX3IkHNI.gif
Are you trying to get Cheryl/Carol/Cherlene Tunt wet or something?
If that were somehow possible, I’d give it my best shot. Fire, glue and choking devices will be in short supply if it’s ever possible.
Evening everyone. What the fuck is Dan Patrick doing in Obama’s town hall? And why am I watching this?
Promoting Ram Trucks?
Because you want to be angry?
You’re out of opiates??
Fuck you, little dog.
http://31.media.tumblr.com/4fd4fe52bbfacb5d364536217628d46b/tumblr_no1qc9bbEI1s02vreo1_400.gif
The ol Just the Tip drill
I didn’t know Jerry Sandusky was a [*Redacted] .
Man, it’s bad when you go to Nice ‘Moments’ tab in Twitter and it warns you of graphic content. I mean, daily Twitter is about the cringeworthy thing I can think of. For something to actually a earn a warning….
?w=618&h=367&crop=1
I’d, like, put on my GOOD sweatpants for her…
Yes, she definitely warrants the pair that has no holes and has been worn fewer than two days total.
Like these stylish numbers “THAT MAKE SWEATPANTS UNNECESSARY”?
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1356450388/the-first-pants-that-makes-sweatpants-unnecessary
So Nice, France got attacked or something.
I just don’t get this world.
French TV say 73 dead.
http://www.cnn.com/2016/07/14/europe/nice-france-truck/
I have a French coworker visiting home right now. I don’t know exactly where his family lives, but I know it’s in the same general area as to where this happened. Fuck, I hope he is safe.
This shit is getting to be too god damn much.
Humans are the worst.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/e837def867ebe0a158f7f1163115ba61/tumblr_nablrwT2c01tfoz0mo1_500.jpg
If the driver wasn’t of middle eastern decent, I’m going to put ten on Old Asian Lady.
Come on, kids. Plowing a semi through a crowd of people isn’t very….
http://lemajeurbadabing.fr/wp-content/uploads/2016/06/nice.jpg
Sill’s right, you need some fucking help.
Lol. Henry Rollins oped on white privilege.
http://www.laweekly.com/music/henry-rollins-white-america-couldnt-handle-what-black-america-deals-with-every-day-7134994
Expect to see his Sons of Anarchy images without context all over facebook
It’s gotten so bad even the black guy in the GOP Senate caucus admits its a thing, and that it happens to him. With shockingly insane frequency.
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/tim-scott-targeted-police
Man, you give me the pay and benefits of a US Senator and I’d gladly be the token black GOP Senator.
Well, after that, there should be a new opening soon
Not sure that was the point.
http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lxr3kaQwbA1qi369ko1_500.gif
“That great form there.”
– Coach Jack Del Rio
Too bad the NFL doesn’t have more promotions, like the MLB/MiLB. I’d think SNF would have to flex to SD at OAK on JDR Axe Night.
Not even battlebots. Thanks Obama.
http://lolworthy.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/bernie-or-hillary-robot-uprising.jpg
Has there ever been a better time?
http://www.hulu.com/watch/2340
http://g2.dcdn.lt/images/pix/file70963728_p6gn9gz.gif
That’d have been funny if the girl on the end hopped into the now-open hatchback like a boss.
Oh look, a post about politics!
http://www.quoteslike.com/images/736/the-thread-about-nothing-part-176-i-ve-made-a-big-mistake-nasa-fixed-39h2bP-quote.gif
Seriously.
Especially when the author is as completely off base as Halitosis Hippo.
So this happened in my hometown yesterday:
http://www.sandiegouniontribune.com/news/2016/jul/13/pokemon-go-encinitas-cliff-fall/
So close to being Darwin Awards, and yet so far…
Hmpf, I didn’t think drunken idiots were going to be falling off cliffs until Saturday.
Aw, nuts. They lived.
I don’t know how much of this I can take seriously. I mean, you didn’t call her “Killary” even once.
Or “Shrillary”.
By the way, for anyone who doesn’t know who Josh Marshall is, he’s the guy who broke the U.S. Attorney Firings “scandal” (I use the quotation marks because the mainstream press poo-poo-ed the idea, only to eat some serious fucking crow when Josh turned out to be right). He’s done some fantastic journalism.
http://www.cjr.org/behind_the_news/how_talkingpointsmemo_beat_the.php
Seriously, Big Media (for lack of a better term) is fucking horrible. If we’re going to seriously look at amending the Bill of Rights re: guns; there should be some serious fucking restrictions put on the media. And by restrictions, I mean wrap them all in plastic and dump the entire industry into the middle of the Indian Ocean.
Thank you for tackling this subject, mainly because I really wanted to post this but it didn’t seem appropriate for Blaxabbath’s post.
Fuck. Only 4 posts in and I’m beaten to it.