NFL Updates:
- Cowboys DE Randy Gregory is facing additional suspension above his four games already scheduled. At this point, 6-10 looks like a pipe dream in Jerry World.
- The [*Redacted] s are considering Greg Hardy as a replacement for Junior Galette. And thus Dan Snyder returned to his natural domain of bad ownership.
- The Lions replacement for Megatron appears to be Anquan Boldin.
- Jake Long signed with the Ravens; the Falcons released Devin Hester.
- Today’s PUP list additions:
- Jordy Nelson
- Louis Murphy
- J.R. Sweezy
- Tyler Eifert
A couple of Packers QB stories round out the daily coverage I care to present:
- Forever earning Mooch’s enmity, Deanna Favre will present Brett Favre for induction into the Hall of Fame.
- Aaron Rodgers revealed on “Any Given Wednesday” what the true meaning of “OMAHA” is. All this time, I thought it was a steak advert Pey-Pey managed to sneak into game broadcasts, like Rodgers’ ‘Discount Double Check’.
Finally, Bashaud Breeland brought his bulldog puppies to training camp, where they are, unsurprisingly, a big hit among staff and fans.
Not much exciting about tonight’s Democratic Convention coverage. Here’s the agenda. The official poll will be held to confirm Hillary’s nomination; there will be a bunch of boring speeches by courageous people; and at least 1-2 outbursts from the crowd. I’m sure the report from the LGBT caucus will be riveting. It’ll all come to a head about 10:00 EDT, when Bill Clinton gets up and tries to validate his wife without sounding like a smug prick and/or a guy planning a dynasty.
It doesn’t help when places like the NY Times is openly speculating about what Bill will need to do in order to both stay busy and keep out of trouble. Good thing Chelsea’s already married and producing photogenic grandchildren.
Watch if you dare; debate as we do.
Tonight’s sports:
- MLB: Cubs @ White Sox – 7:00 – ESPN (National game)
- WWE: Smackdown Live – 8:00 – USA
Alternative programming:
- CW:
- 8:00 – Whose Line Is It Anyway?
- 9:00 – MADtv – a new iteration of the old FOX staple
Nights like tonight really raise the anticipation for preseason football. SAVE US, ROGER!
DAMN FUCKING RIGHT!
https://medium.com/@shitHRCcantsay/let-me-remind-you-fuckers-who-i-am-e6e8b297fe47
It just needed to end with her slapping someone on the ass, hard. Probably Bill.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/5c10a1f01e6b8ec29f857c30b4db1ee9/tumblr_o7g60tNy3G1qg39ewo1_500.gif
Pro tip: never look at your Facebook feed if you’ve been drinking.
Honest-to-God blurb from mine, about 30 minutes ago:
“If Russia really was behind the DNC email hack, then we should be thanking President Putin for showing how corrupt our political system is!”
http://66.media.tumblr.com/22f312049b62b160d3fc25b71b1f2719/tumblr_o81ivb9mtk1qg39ewo1_500.gif
http://67.media.tumblr.com/c2b9bf2d302c571b17a24d9d74e677d1/tumblr_o79vwlTPyo1qg39ewo1_500.gif
Drunk or high is the only way I can stomach facebook, quite frankly.
PRO TIP: Never try to fly a Boeing 747-300 cargo plane when you’re lit.
BOY I almost fucked THAT up.
Almost means of should try it again to get better. In case of an emergency, you know.
*you
not “of”
http://65.media.tumblr.com/a3361390b914d00515033d23ff5df917/tumblr_o9oeef6YZY1sv83imo1_1280.jpg
http://67.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m8vuex9RmQ1qzo3c9o1_1280.jpg
THIS IS WHAT’S GOING TO HAPPEN IN OBAMA AND HILLARY’S AMERICA! THE SECOND AMENDMENT WILL BE OUTLAWED! THEY’RE COMING FOR YOUR GUNS! THEY’LL BE KNIFE ATTACKS IN SCHOOLS! IT’S TYRANNY!
— Alex Jones, to his dog after seeing this picture
http://66.media.tumblr.com/f0095ac22cc45219fdd62d55e7a8c804/tumblr_o7g6knWODf1qg39ewo1_500.gif
I didn’t know there were Target stores in Japan.
Oops. That’s a Wal-Mart.
Just like a French student; brings a knife to a gun fight.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/abaa65defb201de22439c9d1d8ac8ba4/tumblr_oa26dwgeZm1s3rlr2o1_400.gif
I wish the Star Trek box set includes the deleted scene of Ambassador Spock persuades young Spock to sticking to adventures and let him do the perpetuation of the species. “You do the moons. I, the poon”.
http://67.media.tumblr.com/76735bf4735b7b4a021e9678f7aadb48/tumblr_o8ymurCX7C1r1xpwxo1_r1_500.gif
I love my adopted puppy (that is actually 12) so I would like to use him as a pillow in the kitchen right now to let him know I love him, but I can’t fake a story in my mind to tell my dad in the morning so he sleeps alone. He is trapped in a kitchen prison every day, I don’t get why he can’t be in my room every night instead, it wouldn’t mess with my dad if he was trying to steal room at the foot of my bed like he does whenever my dad is out of town.
Man, those Rye & Cokes were tasty.
http://66.media.tumblr.com/e83340e9ae7c3967fcb82dc6cce5674b/tumblr_o81iwz7fQh1qg39ewo1_500.gif
Me. Right now.
MY BOURBLE IS STRONG!
http://67.media.tumblr.com/edf7e67068b965471c81d5a4f7b7d94a/tumblr_o7ws5l44Rh1rj4uo2o1_500.gif
People showed up when I worried I was left alone. You get a gif from the best MST3K ep now
http://66.media.tumblr.com/6ba43495793a708c8f51ed4c1c2dfdcf/tumblr_nlpnoegA1X1tpmdwro9_400.gif
I was still commenting in the “Older Comments” thread and wondering why there were no replies.
Don’t tell me that’s never happened to you.
http://65.media.tumblr.com/630eb33f89251afc456798edaa5f376b/tumblr_oa4x36eRgu1uvb28co5_1280.jpg
http://66.media.tumblr.com/4b19dfb8b0bf4b675a05dfa5ee92f8c6/tumblr_oat0hj9zvB1qzzk3fo1_1280.png
http://67.media.tumblr.com/ff5b6313374356bed68f5f61a70538ae/tumblr_nhehawXNKU1rb28u5o1_500.gif
http://67.media.tumblr.com/ce0905c7886a8a16e2f26eb4260b6e22/tumblr_nf94jqoSQ81rb28u5o1_500.gif
http://67.media.tumblr.com/65e55511fe2b1a5d044b0f69ff4e2639/tumblr_o9z45yZhcR1sqf5tdo1_400.gif
Shit, is everyone gone? At least one more MST3K gif
http://media.tumblr.com/d50dbb07365eabd5fd9625e86aea378f/tumblr_inline_mh61jfr8zB1r9ru3p.gif
Yeah, Moose invited everyone… wait, no you’re right. We’re all gone.