Yes, it is my great pride and privilege to recap your 2017, DEFENDING SUPERB OWL L CHAMPION (nevar gets old saying that) Denver Broncos. If there has ever been a more extreme case of “playing with house money,” it escapes my feeble, aged mind.

Let’s recap, shall we. The 2016 Donks were on the verge of losing at home to the woeful San Diego Chargers, and blowing the overall 1 seed in the AFC. Gary Kubiak had the balls to re-insert a scientifically re-animated corpse at QB…and all was saved. Said re-animated corpse was asked to do less and less each round of the playoffs (as teh science apparently wore off), and perhaps the greatest defense of all time (adjusted for era, clearly Top Five) stepped up and up and up. Culminating with America’s Favourite Black Hipster terrorizing Superman en route to the most obvious Superb Owl MVP award selection in many years.

For reasons I can’t quite fathom, the national sports media has more or less written off Denver going forward, at least in the near term. Did I miss something? Is Wade Phillips coming back? YES. Did Von Miller sign a long-term contract, that will happily keep him in mango and navy (and chickens) for the bulk of his playing career? YES. So what exactly is the fucking problem?? Oh yeah, that…

HAI, MARK!!! Yeah, such an easy narrative. I get it. And Saturday night, he fumbled twice (neither out of anyone’s anus, sorry), so…ball security is still an issue. And that chafes Kubes’ ass more than that of even your average NFL coach’s. And being the high weed, low oxygen state that CO is…Donks fans (the Donks internet is nigh intolerable) are not taking the “house money” high road and shitting their pants. Before last night, when Trevor Siemian started and stared down his primary read in a way not seen since He Who Must Not Be Named…we had a Judean People’s Front demanding that a guy who was shitty (in a part-time role) at Northwestern run the team instead, and a People’s Front of Judea (now swelling in their ranks) wanting to throw a raw project out of a C-USA school into the fire right away. By the way, Paxton Lynch is putting up around a 5 YPA against NFL 3s and 4s in his pre-season work.

Child, please.

Mark Sanchez will be fine. He has started before, and on a team with an elite defense, where he is not asked to do too much…he can be an average, even a slightly above average QB. None of the other options available are capable of doing anywhere NEAR that, let alone MOAR. I would politely note that what Sanchez has proven he can do would be a substantial upgrade over what the re-animated corpse, or the stiff who as benched for the re-animated corpse, did last season. And that won a championship.

Yeah, I really just said that. Leave the Sanchize alone and he will be an upgrade over PeyPey and the jackass that an imaginary team stupidly threw $18M per at (signing him to a dumb contract like that was my biggest fear of the Donks’ offseason, but Elway stuck to his guns).

In fact, the only thing that has truly upset me this August (footbaw-wise) is how good Dak Prescott looks. As you know, I shouted incessantly how he was the only QB in the 2016 draft class that I liked. Godfuckingdamnit. But in Our Equine Lord and Saviour I trust. And the championship is forever, no matter what.

One of the things that allows Denver to keep ahead of the cap is Elway’s theory on inside LBs, and how Wade and his assistants mold the talent that the front office finds. They don’t use high round picks, nor do they sign them (but for very few exceptions) when they get expensive. Street free agents come in and end up playing leadership roles on the defense. This season, it’s Todd Davis’ turn, and he looks fantastic. Zaire Anderson has also been turning heads. 2nd round pick Ted Gotsis (an Aussie Rules guy via Georgia Tech) is another new guy to watch on the DL. If the 7th round punter wins his battle against Colquitt (please, please, please), then EVERY draft pick looks to make the 2017 roster. That’s getting value from your cost-controlled assets. It’s also how you avoid the drop when free agency strips your depth after a title run.

Again…I trust the defensive braintrust, and I trust the flexible mind of Gary Kubiak. I love the two-headed monster of CJ Anderson and Utah rookie Devontae Booker at RB. The OL should at least be better than terrible, which would be a nice change. We are finally throwing to Virgil Green!! Denver and Oakland used to have some real “blood and guts” battles historically, and I’m betting those glory days return this season. Whichever team emerges from that scrum with the division title is my pick to take home Lombardi LI.