It’s a holiday – Labour Day – in Canada. Not sure what it is in the US, or if it’s nationwide, but there is a definite calm before the storm on Tuesday. Either way, it’s a pretty light day.
NFL Notes:
- JJ Watt has been cleared to begin practice. I’m also guessing he changed handjob providers in the interim.
- Justin Forsett was released by the Ravens Saturday.
- signings of note:
Tonight’s sports:
- U.S. Open Tennis: Round-of-16 play – 7:00 | ESPN2
- College Football: Mississippi vs. Florida State – 8:00 | ESPN
- WWE RAW – 8:00 | USA
It’s the first day of school tomorrow, so I’m back to work at my alternative program. Until then – I’M DRINKING / DO NOT DISTURB!
Travel tip: if Tom Hanks wants to take you somewhere, say no. Apollo 13, Captain Phillips, Castaway, and now Sully.
And Philadelphia.
You should avoid Philly on general principles, but yes.
Yes, I also saw that on facebook today
I still don’t understand this film’s existence.
The details of the incident are still well within the living memory of pretty much everybody, nobody dies, and the audience knows exactly how the story ends.
Son of a bitch.
NO ONE SUSPECTS THE BIG WHITE TIGHT END!
Alright, new game:
using 5 sentences or less, tell my why I should hate each of these teams
1) Raycess
2) Rapey
okay, now the fun part, which applies to which!
Yes.
Hey, keep your chin up Ole miss, ts not like you’re getting beat by an unranked team who only scored 3 points against you last year
That was a fucking FANTASTIC block on that pitch play.
somebody let Chad Kelly know the power in mee-maw’s trailer goes back on for the whole year if he throws this’un…
On a lark to share, this is one of the more out there project I have worked on…
http://www.surfingmagazine.com/video/kelly-slater-just-built-the-worlds-best-wave-pool/#vxCtHcP1FVk9Jex1.97
Basically this pool has a massive cable going across it. The create the wave, the cable gets pulled. The motor that is pulling the cable is being powered and controlled by a drive that my company built and I commissioned.
Of course…I am nowhere in the video. Also not shown are the massive number of laborers building the massive pool, installing the motor, and installing the drive. It was actually kind of a pain in the ass because as the cable gets pulled, its length is changing.
I also kept snapping the damn cable initially.
This game was a metric fuckton more fun before FSU woke up.
FSU bettors are back in business!
TUSK!!
For the first time, I have King Laserface on my aucytion team. I had to go cheap at QB after splurging at the skill positions. David Johnson was my keeper @ $5, bought AP @ $83 because I am feeling hostile towards my children, then $61 for Le’Veon and $12 for DeAngelo (I could match bids on each of those two, and that was value, though already had AP and to complement Johnson). Then, Allen Robinson for $54 was also value and I was in the poor house.
So…budget $6 QB, and I was lucky to get him and not be stuck with Sam Bradford ($2) or the sad Donks duo ($1 each), which now comprise part of my sad little bench. Andre Ellington was the only Cards/Vikes RB backup I could get once I was reduced to $1 bids.
Don’t really have any obvious Keeper candidates for next year other than Laquon Treadwell ($1, could keep for $2) so I need to win this season or die.
Because as always fuck those kids.
How much was McKinnon?
somebody trumped me for $2. SAD!!
The Rob Lowe Roast is about as icky as you’d expect.
That white suit needs to go on top of a lighthouse. Holy Shit!
And it’s only appropriate for two more hours.
Why I know that this is correct troubles me.
we are nothing if not fashion forward here. I have my autumn sweat pants ready to go for tomorrow.
If whoever they’ve got doing the sidelines report drinks another Red Bull she’s going to self immolate.
Tell that bitch to chill!
The problem I have with college football is that there are just too many teams for me to effectively hate all of them.
You’re just not trying hard enough!
Jimbo Fisher auditioning for a Batman movie.
Correction: Jimbo Fisher thinks he’s in a Batman movie
I still cannot understand a fucking word Jimbo is trying to say…
The best concept I have seen for stadium turf is what they have done in Arizona. Natural grass that is grown outside and brought inside as needed.
Hermaphroditic porn.
Isn’t that what they all do? Bring in sod from outside? So that there can be some fancy drainage system underneath.
I don’t think so. The drainage system would be part of the field component that gets moved in and out. I think Arizona is the only place that does it.
Some field systems can get very complex. I have seen systems that have heating systems to basically keep the earth warm enough so the watering system doesn’t freeze.
Its just goofy to me that you see stadiums that should have astro-turf, like the Packers and Steelers (Heinz Field gets destroyed because they host high school, college, and professional games in the same week all the time), stick with grass.
What balls is saying is that the whole field in AZ rolls out of the stadium into the sunlight when not in use. It’s on runners. I remember when they proposed it I laughed my ass off, but hell if they didn’t make it work.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIukkv1Ko0U
well shit, am I gonna have to stay up until the end so I don’t miss a fun ending like last night (when I gave up on TX when they went 3 and out down 35-31)?
Seeing as I just tuned into this game, how long before we get a gif of landshark guys
http://www.sitesbay.com/files/404.gif
Oops, I guess that’s what happens when you have Jameis Winston on the same sideline as seafood.
I have my apartment windows open as its gotten cooler…and someone is smoking weed.
I would kill for some weed right now…though I don’t have any food in my apartment right now…
time to make a new friend…then find a third person who’s cooking
HAHAHAHAHA, Florida State is POOP
Ole Miss will score 100 points if they can.
I’m ok with this plan
I’m gonna do my usual bitch fest about the field.
If you cannot grow grass in Florida, your program is a mess.
Its crazy to me that almost every single professional sport in the world requires grass, but the US, we love to use astro-turf.
I can totally see the justification in cold weather areas…but there is zero fucking excuse for Southern schools.
More consistent playing surface, over the course of the game as well as stadium to stadium. And week to week since you don’t have to replant grass every week when this happens:
And here’s a shot of our celebrity guest on the sideline, yawning during another of our endless commercial breaks.
Not sure about the cost.
Ha, woops. Not sure how that middle part got pasted instead of this
Then why does not FIFA allow astro-turf?
You would think they would love it as it would be easier to maintain fields and they could shove more advertising on the pitch.
I would assume because the decisions of FIFA are determined by bribes and tradition for the sake of tradition rather than any form of common sense.
Cost is crazy expensive and the upkeep is time-consuming. Grass is by far the better option, but everyone likes the shiny new toy.
Trust me, I’ve installed synthetic and work to maintain many synthetic fields. The payoff is just not there. At least in LA.
I got your shiny new toy right here!
[points to brand new Optimus Prime figurine]
Big Turf wins again smgdh
Yeah, I wonder if a big part of the decision has to do with how well it can hold up on a week-to-week basis. Having those 300 pound linemen pushing against each other with two inch cleats has got to be hell on keeping the field in good shape.
But they don’t allow cleats on synthetic, so it’s not a fair comparison. If they did, synthetic would be torn apart quickly.
Did not know that.
I would imagine, at least there has to be a reason why FIFA does not allow anything but grass, that a properly maintain field us safer for players.
If FIFA doesn’t allow it, they’re likely taking bribes from BIG GRASS!
It has to do with how the ball bounces on synthetic. It’s not a natural bounce.
This is the Citrus Bowl. I don’t think it’s used regularly by any teams. Maybe a soccer team? I guess it’s not worth the year-round upkeep for a few ceremonial games a year.
I think UCF plays there.
Konichiwa, bitches. Just finished drafting in my 14 team league I’ve been in for a decade. That’s after contraction of two teams over the offseason.
Ole Miss and FSU are doing their “Salute to terrible fucking football” on this drive…
Hey kids, sorry about the downtime – server issue. For once it wasn’t me!
Suuuuuuuuuure…..
That kid is gonna be on Deadspin & SportCenter. You know which one I mean.
I wish there were a little more chaos to root for in tonight’s game.
About two days ago, I slept on my neck wrong. I just woke up in agony.
Jesus Christ my right arm keeps going numb and I cannot turn my head at all.
Any advice?
Icy hot and ibuprofin.
Anti inflammatories are your friend right now.
Also if you’re bed is older than 10 years it may be time to consider.
I had an old bed replaced it with a new one and 1800 dollars later I have an awesome bed and many good nights of sleep.
Oh I got a fanstastic bed and pillows. With my fucked up back, I cannot mess around.
I was crashing at a girl’s pad.
Shit.
Go with the ibuprofin.
http://www.lmgtfy.com/?q=HOW+THE+FUCK+YOU+DOING+BOYS?#seen
And here’s a shot of our celebrity guest on the sideline, yawning during another of our endless commercial breaks.
So I’m reading up on Phyllis Schlafly and holy shit was she a cunt or what?
Oh man, Twitter has great takes on her death. Someone posted screen caps of her ridiculous opinions about evolution and someone responded “her body isn’t even cold, how dare you!”
If simply repeating someone’s beliefs automatically triggers a response of criticism in you, that’s because those beliefs were obviously fucking abhorrent and you know it.
/why yes I have been drinking and it’s loosened my tongue WANNA FIGHT ABOUT IT?!
how can the body be cold if pixies just take it away to Jeebus anyhoo??
Then again, my drinking, love of manual labor, wearing pants, being counted among my peers, and tendency for fits of rage are pretty much a sure thing I am not gonna make it to 92 so maybe her bass ackwards mindset was at least good for longevity. Who knew all I had to do was to stay in the kitchen to be long-lived?
I think ol’ Phyllis was pretty ragey, so don’t count yourself out yet.
Shit, I’ll live forever then.
Sup, jizzbags?
“Step up to this camera, look into it, and say what you like best about me.”
Meatwad is the fuckin best.
“Inject me wit some cheese.”
YEP!
JJ Watt’s HJ Providers is a fine Fantasy Football team name.
Heard tonight on Philly Sports Radio:
“When told he was the starter, Carson Wentz said he was ‘laying down in the middle of a cornfield, hunting.”
This HAS to be aww-shucks-ain’t-I-homey lunchpail bullshit, right? Any cornfield in the country is like six feet high right now, so if he was laying down in one, he’d be hunting what, exactly? Farmers? Kids picking corn to go tic-tacking with (is that still a thing?)? No matter what, it SOUNDS like bullshit, and that’s good enough for me.
Pretty much you don’t ever “lay” in a corn field.
I’m assuming he is shooting bird…otherwise he is an idiot. Wallowing in mud is not an effective way to shoot bird.
Seriously, corn fields suck. Its basically a muddy mess. Only thing worse are cotton fields.
Well, yeah. I’ve run through enough of ’em in my misspent youth, but I’m not a hunter, and don’t pay any attention to people who are, but even the fucking TIMING sounds off. What is there to “hunt” in early September?
I think this is calculated “look! He’s a good ol’ country boy just like Brett Favre” publicist bullshit, and I want someone to fucking call him on it.
The only thing to hunt in a late summer cornfield is the bud that’s planted b/w the rows.
Yeah, but you gotta be REALLY high to belly-crawl up to it, afraid it might spook and run away.
Yes, there is that.
Or trying to make sure Granny doesn’t see where you have your plants so she can steal it because her “cataracts” are acting up.
Dove hunting started in some spots.
/not a hunter, just know random shit
The only thing people should be hunting in tall corn is bird….with a bird dog. The gun should always be pointing up in the air.
Unless you are Dick Chenney.
The leaves of the corn plant are also pretty sharp. If you aren’t careful, a trip through a cornfield can leave you with a bunch of cuts.
Why isn’t he in the film room grinding tape before his first professional start?
Maybe he was hunting corn-holes ?
I HAVEN’T SEEN A CHAD HAVE HIS WAY WITH FLORIDA LIKE THIS SINCE THE 2000 ELECTION
WHOOOOOO SEC! SEC! SEC!
ROLL TIDE! ….er I mean GO Ol’ MISS!!!
It was a long phone call because Cam dropped his phone & was too afraid to pick it up.
Hey, stop walking all over my Panthers preview.
So is DFO going to have a pick’em league this year? I was looking forward to defending my title?
And there’s an extra question mark for a reason? Like I’m Jon Stewart doing a Jewish voice?
Yes??
http://survivor.fantasy.nfl.com/?icampaign=nflnav_fantasy_survivor_join
Oh wait that’s a Survivor game not Pick ‘Em. My bad.
Care to give a brother a password to join?
football is the password
All lower case football… I bourbley thnk. (You’re results may vary.)
“football” is the password for football? That’s the kind of password an idiot would have on his luggage! (But thank you, seriously)
I was more coherent then Jimbo Fisher coming out of my last serious head injury.
He sounds like he’s hoarse from woo-hooing at a Blake Shelton concert.
Phyllis Schafly finally died WOO
Only the weakest and most pathetic men lose their masculinity because a woman asserts her autonomy.
If a woman asserts her autonomy, well….I can make my own sammitches, thank you very much.
Which perfectly describes the alt-right/
Phyllis SchaFLY TO THE ANGE-E-ELS!
I think my favorite story about this bitch is when she sued her nephew over using the Schlafly surname for a beer company because it didn’t fall in line with conservative values and that she was the most significant person with that name.
Eugh, what a fucking bitch.
Oh, and it’s no surprise she nuzzled the crotch of the rich male-dominated establishment considering the only reason she had money is because she married into it.
I’m watching a recording of the Red Sox and Padres and Edwin Jackson is pitching his ass off for a change.
Just out of curiosity I checked his career earnings. He’s made over 81 MILLION DOLLARS!
EDWIN FUCKING JACKSON!!!
Stupid career choices.
The Cubs handed him a ton of that money. It was nice to know that when the Cubs teed off on him a couple weeks back, the Cubs were paying most of his salary to do it.
As a side note: I adore what Theo has done, but he’s whiffed pretty badly on a few trades and free agent signings. He’s also been spared for throwing cash at players than would have been a big waste (Anibal Sanchez).
Yeah the Cubs are responsible for 42 million.
That’s why I brought it up because he didn’t do shit for the Cubs.
I also agree with the Theo sentiment, especially related to our young core group.
I don’t know if you paid much attention to Cubs fans from 2012-2014, but so many of them threw a fucking fit over Theo’s refusal to pretend the Cubs had any shot at the postseason. One guy actually actually wished Russell would flop as a player because he disliked Theo’s “plan” so much even though it’s proved to be really smart and smart people saw this coming during the shit years.
I guess what I’m saying is that I hate most Cubs fans.
Footage of Mark Sanchez flying to Dallas:
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view7/3065664/mexican-nyan-cat-o.gif
Wall-O-Gifs!
http://66.media.tumblr.com/334dbce20bce6a955782819b6e6413ee/tumblr_ocmygeJnLt1syvjuco1_500.gif
Grilled some Nathan’s and some jumbo shrimp because I really hate wasting good coals.
Everything was delightful.
Here come the beverages!
How do you do the shrimp? I’m going to be grilling some this week & am tired of garlic butter & lemon.
I toss them with a little bit of olive oil and give them a light dusting with some essence. If you don’t feel like making a batch of essence then use some salt, pepper and red pepper flake.
The essence really makes a difference. I like that little heat from the cayenne.
I looked up a recipe (Emeril’s) for essence. I have everything I’ll need. Thanks!
You bet. Make a full batch and keep it in your spice cabinet as a multi purpose seasoning. It’s great on the home fried potatoes.
I was considering grilling today but no one seemed to have any enthusiasm for it so I’ll push it back to next weekend. Besides the wind is atrocious right now. Fuckin’ wind.
Wind will fuck with your grilling worse than any other element, including rain or snow.
Yes I’ve grilled in the snow.
Hell, I grilled in the middle of Hurricane Gloria when I was living in Jersey.
True story.
By signing Mark Sanchez I assume you mean the Cowboys tricked him onto filling out a W-4.
“Hey, a naked lady pen!”
“No, a naked high school girl pen….”
-Jerry Jones
“Not interested.”
-Jerry Sandusky
I got him to buy a timeshare and a lease on a used yugo by telling him Shonn did it.
Me reading the comments section is like when a dog that’s bored and caged starts chewing the fur off its own legs. I really need to figure out how to stop doing that.
Any reason you changed the draft time Sill?
He was worried people were gonna have plans with their family because of the holiday. If I got this wrong correct me Sill but I think that is why he said he was doing it.
good point. I just got back from a football game and am so hungover I may shoot myself.
Yep. This exactly.
How come people don’t work on Labor Day? And what’s up with that airline food?
And the peanuts! Hey you ever notice how white people be like…and black people be like…
Anybody here from out of town?
Oh I been to…great place. To leave amirite? I’m kidding. So anyone married? Kids? I just did one or both for the purposes of continuing this.
Women be shoppinnnnnn’!
Guys. Women be all high whiny voice don’t they?
Ladies. Men be all durr duh derp low voice right?