Sea/LA-Pity the poor Rams. (but not their ownership or coach) They were blasted by the Niners on Monday night and now come back “home” to meet up with the Seahawks. Wr Austin was rated by Football Outsiders as the worst at his position last week. How does one go about accomplishing this? Well, what you need to do is catch a mere 4 of 12 targets for 13 yards. And he’s their #1 guy! Not much hope in Ramsville. BTW, qb Wilson’s high ankle sprain will play.
TB/Ari-Wr Evans, he of 99 yards/1 TD last week gets cb Peterson this week. On the other side wr Fitz gets cb Grimes. The former is not at the height of his powers any longer but his stat line of 8/81/2 begs to differ. Tampa lb Alexander has his eyes set squarely on rb Johnson. I really like both these youngsters-they’ll both be super productive for the next decade.
Jax/SD-Here is another Battle Royale of 0-1 teams. The Jags young D did quite well against a talented Pack team and despite the loss I bet they are coming to realize what they are capable of. Rb Gordon is the Bolts leading rusher with [is tapped on shoulder] Uh, hold on. Woodhead is leading the team? Really? C’mon! I’d just like to add that recently signed first-rounder Bosa is nowhere near game shape.
Atl/Oak-The Falcons leading rusher is Coleman with 22 yds. Yeah, as a matter of fact they did lose last week. I get the feeling that Atlanta’s small window of relevance is closing very fast. Qb Carr and co. found a way to beat the Saints in the Dome last week which should serve them well this week. Wr Jones will of course get his but on the other side Cooper should do the same.
Indy/Den-If you drafted qb Luck as your guy in fantasy, congrats on your 1-0 record! Today he’s up again a whole ‘nother kettle of horses in the Denver D. The Colts tissue-paper D ensures that qb Siemian will improve on last week’s pedestrian numbers. Look for the Colts to play catch-up all game long.
[tips hat] LET’S DO THIS, FOLKS!
Anytime the announcer says they are now going to the studio in LA or New York and then there isn’t a cutaway, I’m just waiting for a Gabbo moment to come through on the broadcast.
Go Not Gore!
Fuck. You. Lincoln. It is nothing like that.
Former basketball player reference — EVERYONE DRINKS!
Was it Jimmy? Or Antonio? Is Jerome from Detroit?
Lineman for TB. #69, I think.
Whoever this Tyrell Williams is, I’m glad he’s on the Chargers.
Baking done (awesome cookies if I do say so myself). Meat braising. Other duties complete. Ahh…
Donks/Clots until our turn. Things are good.
At least Goff dressed this week!
Can’t say that about most of us this Sunday
That earphone he has in isn’t to listen to the play calls – he’s listening to an audiobook about astronomy so he can finally understand where the sun rises and sets
Matthew Mcconaughey: What is, when Hollywood thinks any good looking actor can pull off the Bryan Cranston.
you gotta be shitting me…
http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/KF/2016/04/20/water_parrot_dance_TOO_BIG.gif
Zymm is that you?
When the parties at Zymm’s house take that weird turn, she’s still always ready to share a drink.
Palmer sucks.
Which one?
Arnold. Past his prime.
Inorite? Seriously, Iced Tea OR Lemonade? PICK A SIDE!
Is he the new Peyton? Puts up big numbers, everyone says he’s amazing, but he consistently shits the bed at the worst possible moment in the playoffs
ARI is not a playoff team ever again.
This song has been stuck in my head for three days.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Yrt3Pnk9qA
If I was gonna have kids (not gonna have kids) I would want to be Fry’s mom.
?b64lines=IEdvLCB5b3UgYmFzdGFyZCwga2ljawogdGhhdCBmb290YmFsbCEgQWgsIHlvdQogYmxldyBpdCBhZ2FpbiE=
Look, I think we all know how this Patriots QB situation will play out:
1. Pats sign Johnny Manziel.
2. Manziel wins two games, throwing a total of ten TD passes.
3. Brady returns from suspension; Pats trade Manziel to Dallas when Jerry Jones offers every draft pick ever plus a MILF to be named later.
4. Manziel never throws another TD ever.
God I wish you were wrong.
We can only hope and dream.
Now this is a scenario I can get behind.
The idea of Belichick using his pact with Satan to sabotage other teams is possibly the only way I could like him.
Hit hit bo bit…shit.
MIKE EVANS SMASH FITBAWS AND CAMERA GUYS
“Winston is not the most athletic quarterback, but he’s a pretty good runner” – the announcer forgot to mention how much better he gets at running if there are crab legs or a lack of consent involved
YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE Keenum-sack
Adam Humphries? Doesn’t Grumblelord have a monopoly on gritty receivers?
he is probably the best player on my insanity team this week. The Maestro is NAWT using lube, even with Gronk out…
IT’S A FACKIN CAWK PUNCH FOAH HIPPO, NO ONE DENIES THIS!
I picked Seattle in a suicide pool. Why? Why would I do this to myself?
on the ROAD?? After the turd they laid LAST WEEK?
http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/beavisandbutthead/images/f/ff/Beavis_and_Butt-head_are_Dead.png
I picked the Rams last week…..it seemed like a good idea at the time…..
Same boat. Alot of the DFO did i reckon
Seattle vs. Rams will always be a defesive battle.
Seahawks don’t start playing until November.
Wake us up in November!
Y’know who’d probably love to come out of retirement for 2 games of a superbowl run? Peyton Manning…….
How is Wilson still standing with his High ankle sprain? Or is it a conspiracy?
Nanobubbles don’t melt steel ankles
YES THEY DO BUILDING 7 WAKE UP SHEEPLE
So, if the long shot happens and I do end up in an analytics job with the Jags, there is basically a 0% chance that any of the coaching staff listens to anything that I would suggest, since I am a mathy girl who has never actually played football. Considering the current state of the Jags, this is a good thing, as no one wants responsibility for this.
You can commiserate with their newly hired pool technician out of Rio de Janiero.
Looks like errything is coming up Doktor Zymm!
We ALL need to get jobby-jobs there (once Dok is established and can vouch FOAR us), and turn it into our own personal vehicle for mischief. Get Khan into the Commentist Party. C’mon, that dude is FREAKY and would love it!
The first NFL team run by the offshoot of an offshoot of a snarky dick joke sports blog? That’s monumental.
NFL? Prepare your anus!!
I’m pretty sure as a collective we could run a team better than some teams are currently run
Will there be a job for a 40 year old cabana boy?
Can you provide your own uniform that’s an affront to modesty?
Football recommendations from A GIRL?!?!
*monocle falls out due to shock*
http://i.imgur.com/8CFCphW.gif
You should apply to the Seahawks so that Carroll can finally find out what percentage of the Saudi royal family can melt steel beams.
Kaep 2 NE CONFIRMED pls rt
http://static1.fjcdn.com/thumbnails/comments/Let+s+have+a+minute+of+silence+for+all+of+those+_23b26c69a95974e6dc285b335b8c739f.gif
needs moar drudge siren imo
http://rs270.pbsrc.com/albums/jj107/ChoklitReign/Siren.gif
?
My twitter account is private, but I’ve done my part in misleading my tens of followers!
The “how ironic that this TRAITOR plays for the ‘Patriots'” hot takes practically write themselves…
McManus drills it
Let’s be careful when talking about riding a Gurley
So, Rams 6-Seahawks 3. If we know how “good” the Rams are, but what does this say about the Seahawks?
They are gettin Rammed.
RAM IT!
That they cause me to drink. Heavily.
Pretty much everything about the Jags is tragic at this point.
not Khan’s stache. NOR moutheyes!
Aikman’s tanning routine is paying big dividends.
Wait….I’ve got it! Cutler to NE! Rubella sweeps through Boston!
Stahp.
Kaep.
Kaep is perfect for the fanbase.
No no Dok. We need this man:
kick it NOW
Brb going to drown in my own tears
Butter’s in the fridge.
Save those tears in a bottle, use to make dirty martini.
Over/under on fantasy points for the entire Jags team: 20? 25?
“He can still bang it, outside of 50”
Nothing truer has ever been said of Belichick
Alright. I have came down from my catatonic rage state. How are the afternoon games?
https://twitter.com/CincyProblems/status/777601641965035521/photo/1
Nuke the Jaguars from orbit
It’s the only way to be sure.
Clausen to NE? Let’s start some Twitter rumors!
People say Jeff George is keeping his arm loose and ready to come out of retirement
i hear there talkin with jammarcas russle dudes got a arm on that dude
http://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m3bh9gHDL91ru0isio6_540.gif
My God, King. That’s Drew Bledsoe’s music!
First Half Chargers are Superb Owl caliber, that’s fo sho.
That’s what we said last week, too.
BURRITO TIME!
I’ll see if I can get one with crab legs.
BORTLESCEPTION 2: PULLTHEPLUGOOGALOO
I got up at 11:22 this morning, started drinking beer with my brother and father at 2:15 and just got back from the bar with an order of chocolate mousse for my wife.
Come at me.
Apology chocolate mousse ain’t gonna get you laid.
Bringing Moose home, on the other hand…
I just gave her a piggyback ride out to see the pumpkins we accidentally grew when I threw last year’s jack-o-lanterns out in the back fields. I’m way past apology mousse.
Also WHO WANTS PUMPKINS!?!?!?
Hi!
We’ve secretly replaced the Chargers secondary with the Legion of Boom in their prime. Let’s see if Blake Bortles notices.
Yep. He noticed.
Could Tampa beat FIU at this point?
Injuries don’t help.
Neither does rapistry
Ware AND Von!!!!
/oh and they sexy
Oh god please don’t die Humps
Should have fucking started Wentz. I resisted blatant homerism just because I didn’t want to be a blatant homer and that’s what Charmback gives me.
Draft better.
HODOR misread that route.
I have no joke, just haven’t heard a HODOR reference in a bit.
How much derp could a derp derp derp if a derp derp could derp derp?
“Consider yourself sued for tongue twister infringement!”
-Lawyers employed by woodchucks and seashells
Damn that Sally! She said she was public domain!
Destroying TB would seem more meaningful if they weren’t from the NFC South.
What the in god damn fuck Seahawks.