Late Night DAK! vs. Hoyer Country Game Thread

Well…who ya got?

Unlike any QB ever before him, nor any QB who will ever come after, DAK! has an affinity for his mother. That has to give him an edge, unless it has made him kind of a sissy ,, no ofence.

The Bears…continue to shit in the woods AND all over the field.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Good news: I can go to bed at halftime without fear of missing anything!

Doktor Zymm

After discussion, we’ve decided there was no holding, and we’re all meeting for tea next Tuesday, Jimmy is bringing the jam

Lothar of the Hill People

“After discussion, Jason Witten is a Pro Bowler and Jerrah paid us in advance, so no holding on the play.”

Despite replay showing the hold.

Sill Bimmons

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Lothar of the Hill People

Bearfs scrub linemen are really beating the crap out of Dallas’s pass protection.

Damn shame it doesn’t do a lick of good.

Romonobyl

I want to have Margo Robbies babies.

Redshirt

@King Hippo (because DFO won’t let me reply)

Dalton may have exorcised his demons by beating Denver in 2014, but we have no way of knowing because all WRs were hurt in ’15 playoffs and he was hurt in ’16 playoffs.

Plus, the Bengals passed on the obvious and tacky color rush combo of Orange Jersey on Orange Pants and have chosen an all white and black uniform that would be perfect with a white helmet had the NFL not got all No Fun League on them. They get some karma points for that.

tl;dr: Pick ’em at your risk. You may get lucky.

http://media.cmgdigital.com/shared/lt/lt_cache/thumbnail/960/img/photos/2016/09/13/63/87/colorrush3.jpg

Senor Weaselo

I was about to make a Siegfried and Roy joke, but that’s lions.

WCS

Alright, time to leave the Mistake By the Lake and return to Yinzburgh. Talk to yinz.

Redshirt

Wait a minute. You went to Cleveland. Voluntarily?

Lothar of the Hill People

I have no idea why I’m watching this game.

I guess Adam Gase is a pretty good OC, though.

DontHair

He needed OT to beat a Cody Kessler led Browns team. He should have stayed an OC.

Senor Weaselo

And now, good idea, bad idea. Actually, bad idea, worse idea.

Bad idea: Getting Popeye’s because fuck it, it’s been a long weekend.
Worse idea: Putting Trinidad scorpion/Carolina reaper wing sauce on your Popeye’s chicken.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2dJOIf4mdus

DontHair

Do all Popeyes have Hawiian punch on tap or just mine locally?

The Maestro

Holy shit, I wish my Popeyes had Hawaiian punch, that’d be fucking amazing.

DontHair

It is pretty awesome to be honest.

Senor Weaselo

It’s a Popeye’s/Burger King with a Coke Freestyle machine. Occasionally I try to see how many different varieties I can put in a cup and have it be drinkable. My best is 14 but it tasted meh at best.

Doktor Zymm

Good idea : Doing one of those two things
Bad idea : Chasing it with Everclear

Sill Bimmons

How about we wait and see how things go for these rookies in the second half of the season before we make them the Emperors Of Fitbaw?

http://www.quickmeme.com/img/ad/ad6c154ca1f4107e0581ec40e2e30e6085fe925657dfcc79581253aa416ef78d.jpg

Redshirt

Oh, okay. (zips up)

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Cris and Al haven’t considered the alternate theory as to why Ezekiel Elliot looks so much better tonight: they’re playing against the Bears.

DontHair

But he is the fastest high schooler on Ohio.

Romonobyl

DFO poll:
Should I stay and have one more Dos Equis (not bad on draft), or stagger to the hotel and call it a night?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS

Doktor Zymm

Couldn’t have said it better myself.
SHOTS

Romonobyl

Daddy don’t do shots no more, not since…

Duchess

Hit on the hot cowboys fan girl?

DontHair

What if Dak didn’t throw a TD all season, but also didn’t throw an INT. Would that be enough to kill Skip Bayless?

WCS

Unfortunately, Skip Bayless cannot be killed by conventional weaponry.

LemonJello

You have to nuke Skip from orbit, it’s the only way to be sure…

Shogun Marcus

Cockroaches, Skip, and until the year o’ death kicked in after Christmas…Lemmy (RIP).

WCS

Tony Romo just broke both legs, six ribs, and both kidneys reading that sentence.

theeWeeBabySeamus

He’ll be in Denver next year.
/punched by Hippo

Duchess

You’re forgetting… he’s an Illinois guy… SMH

Shogun Marcus

Burlington WI…and local media won’t let me forget it.

ThursdaySkyGoddess
trollsoharduniversity

I went to a Boston-area Jets fans meet up today. I didn’t drink enough though.

trollsoharduniversity

Not enough. Though today’s “effort” probably accelerated that number.

Duchess

Suicide is the Colts official ball park drink… Thats because they get a 4 liter cup and just fill it up with all the sodas at the dispenser.

Doktor Zymm

THE POT!! IT HAS BEEN STIRRED!

John Difool
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not to sound all homer, but that was a fucking bullshit offsides call

Brocky

If that level of attention was on any given kickoff, there’d be a flag every time

Sill Bimmons

womp womp

Senor Weaselo

Offsides on an onside kick that they would have recovered. Are we at peak derp yet?

Redshirt

Not yet, but we’re nearing plaid.

JustStopDude

How the hell did a brawl in the LFL not make Sports Center?!?

https://youtu.be/mWkQQQf_jqs

theeWeeBabySeamus

This is my new favorite thing.
Thank you for bringing this into our lives.

Duchess

See I have always thought that most Cities cannot sustain two profession ball teams being good at the same time. At least that is what I tell myself at night as a Chicago fan.

Doktor Zymm

DO IT AGAIN NO ONE WILL SEE IT COMING

Redshirt

Oh, good. Bengals got TNF this week.

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Col. Duke LaCross

How is Sherrick McManus a captain?

Doktor Zymm

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAahhhhhh

Sill Bimmons

ALL TEH DUMB NBC TEEVEE SHOW PROMOS

John Difool

Holy shot, how is this only late in the second quarter?

Unsurprised

BLERGH transcends space and time.

Sill Bimmons

Fricked if I know.

Doktor Zymm

THAT WASN’T HIS ANKLE, WHY WAS HE SCRATCHING IT?! HE WAS PROBABLY PASSING INFORMATION ABOUT TERRORISM! THREAT LEVEL PINKTOBER!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

CHI on the comeback trail!*

*Really a trail of tears.

Unsurprised

Sam Bradford got traded again?

Sill Bimmons

RALLY WOO

herodotus450

I hope Eddie Royal never goes to France

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Or Green Bay. Berman calling him Royal with cheese would kill me.

Doktor Zymm

False start, EVERYBODY CONGA!

theeWeeBabySeamus

That made me laugh.
No idea why.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Conor Barth time!

/vomits

Sill Bimmons

AMENDOLA/EDELMAN/BEASLEY REFERENCE BUTTCHUG A BOTTLE OF EVERCLEAR

Doktor Zymm

That’s not intentional grounding because pity

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I just saw Vin Scully sing “Wind Beneath My Wings” to everyone at Dodger Stadium.

I will neither confirm nor deny that I cried like a little bitch.

trollsoharduniversity

WOOO I’M IN, FUCKERS

Unsurprised

I don’t know the context, but FUCK YEAH!

Duchess

“look at that leadership by Hoyer”

-Bears fans tomorrow

DontHair

Not a bad block considering Kyle Long only has one functional arm.

Redshirt

I just turned on TV. Cowboys good or Bears bad?

...

Bears bad for sure.

Doktor Zymm

Sure.

Horatio Cornblower

A little column A, a whole lot of column B.

DontHair

Yes.

Duchess

17-0 and Dak still has no TD’s but great “poise”

theeWeeBabySeamus

They just killt an old dude.
Things just got interesting.

The Maestro

That dude on the sideline just got fucking smoked there, man.

Mr. Ayo

Compliments of Captain Insano

Horatio Cornblower

Beasley reminds Cris of Patriots’ receivers in that both circles in that Venn diagram are as white as a Chip Kelly house party.

Duchess

So poise is the new code word for “playing QB while black” cause no one talked about Wentz’s poise last week.

Col. Duke LaCross

That guy on the sidelines got dropkicked.

JustStopDude

Random old guy just obliterated on the side lines!

And he got up looking mad!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah he did. And I totally was not laughing.
/was totally laughing.

Romonobyl

One of the Tee Vees here is showing an equestrian event. I’m not in Texas anymore.

Doktor Zymm

Why is there a giant illuminated ball that’s a part of the Dallas skyline? Are they really eager for New Years? Or do they just want us all to know about the existence of the Testicle?

Horatio Cornblower

They’re Texans. They just want you to know that they have HUGE balls.

Romonobyl

Wait till they build the second one!

WCS

THAT’S THE OL’ DOUBLE J’S STATUE TO HIS PENIS YYYYYYYEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW