Your “Monday, Bloody Monday” [no apologies to U2 whatsoever] NFL Open Thread

Glad to see you made it through the day. It’s always a bit of a relief to get this stupid day into your rear-view mirror, isn’t it? Going over the comments in the open threads yesterday, I must say that the vast majority of you typer-people showed their A-game. Tons of giggles were had by yours truly. [eyes dart back and forth] I’m sure quality work like that can’t be replicated for this tilt. [pregnant pause] TO THE GAME!

NYJ/Ari-For all those that are stashing wr Decker at the bottom of your roster it’s time to let him go-he’s done for the year. Speaking of lost years, the Jets are looking at same if they lose this one on the road. The only thing in their favour right now is that the Cards have lost 2 of 3 at home. Still, qb Fitz McHarvard has been heartily welcomed back to mediocrity by his arm, instincts and understanding of how NFL defenses work. So this seems like qb Carson’s game to win, right? Uh, over the course of the last 8 games he’s thrown 13 intercepts and fumbled 6 (!) times. It’s a bitch being 37 years old in the NFL. Lover of the deep ball and coach of the best (it’s debatable) young rb in the league Arians just can’t figure out what to do. Will he let his fella run wild like he did last week? Or will he continue to give the other Fitz, Brown and Floyd those big strike chances? Let’s find out, shall we?

I’m done-GO GO, GADGET FINGERS!

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Kungjitsu
Col. Duke LaCross

I don’t know why, but that album was always kind of a guilty pleasure record back in high school.

trollsoharduniversity

Boston area Jets fans meetup update: There’s Bud Light marketing people here trying to raffle off something called a can jam. As far as I can tell it’s a piece of plastic crap that if won by me, would be ordered directly to the trash by my wife. The reps declined to give me a free Bud Light when I said so. JOKES ON THEM THOUGH BECAUSE I’M PERFECTLY CAPABLE OF DRINKING MY OWN PEE

Smithchez

(sigh)

Well, if were going to lose (again, because who am I kidding), at least sassy ref is on hand.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Spanky Datass

Mongo just pawn in Sassy Ref’s game of football …

John Difool

I haven’t seen a Johnson wrecking jets like that since The Tailhook scandal…

jjfozz

Oh you kid. That’s motherfucking brilliant.

jjfozz

This makes my heart weep and my soul soar and my penis fill with blood, well just a little blood
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theeWeeBabySeamus

You just wait you cold hearted fucker. I got some really heart melting photos of me own taking to fuck you over eventually.

LemonJello

Do they custom fit those “AT&T” shirts for her?

Sill Bimmons

If they do, it’s my dream job.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is her penis lopper offer knife.

Sep

Jack Reacher: Put That Bottle On The Highest Shelf

Sill Bimmons

JACK REACHER: TEH GALLIANO CHRONICLES

theeWeeBabySeamus

J-E-T-S…Jets, Jets,….aw shit. Da fuq?
When does Knicks season start?

Senor Weaselo

Next Tuesday, and they open… at Cleveland. On ring night.

Well, it’s 3-1 Rangers after 2.

Sep

Bruce Arians cosplay must be a thing now in Arizona.

Unsurprised

Arizona is Arians Nation

LemonJello

More bed-shitting on that play than an entire wing of Shady Acres Retirement Home!

Sill Bimmons

johnson brothers rejoice

King Hippo

sadly, it embarrasses him and I both just how many times I need that very run replicated….

Sep

bye bye

blaxabbath

Sup?

D looks good. Might just be JETS offense though.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So my next potential post is “Infinite Jets” and I was a bit worried that I’d have to hold off on it in the case of a Jets win.

I am no longer worried.

jjfozz

I suspect it’s going to be 1,000 pages long, totally confusing, over hyped, and best used as doorstop on windy days

jjfozz

Oh great! The NBA season is zzzzzzzzzzz

Spur

I find myself liking the NBA every year more and more. It helps the Cowboys haven’t done much and the Spurs are the shit.

NBA seems to understand its players and fans better than the NFL.

jjfozz

Just noticed that my quote got up on the banner. Boy, not only is it cool, but it would piss off my Trump loving, Catholic to the max mother in law.

HOW YOU LIKE THAT MOTHERFUCKERS??!?!?!?!?!?

King Hippo

just think, one of these teams will end the night 2-4 and delude itself into thinking its season isn’t quite over…

Spur

Vikings
Seahawks
Falcons
Any of the two Cowboys/Washington/Eagles

Arizona has life. Jets are done.

Senor Weaselo

Whoa, two whole Jet wins?

Spur

Put in Geno!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

But Fitzmagic went to Harvard and can convince stupid reporters that his kid can do math!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Can his kid log me back into WordPress every 5 minutes?

jjfozz

Holy shit, war is truly hell
http://i.imgur.com/J1NjAK4.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Beastmode Ate My Baby

After last night’s barn-burner, can my heart take Jets vs. Cardinals?

Pretty sure it can.

makeitsnowondem

Gentlemen.

Tuned in just in time to hear that strategy will be a big part of this game. Can anyone confirm?

King Hippo

also being physical ,, ppl forget that

LemonJello

I heard something about playmakers needing to make big plays…in all three phases of the game.

makeitsnowondem

No, this one doesn’t sound plausible.

Beerguyrob

There may or may not be “heart” involved.

LemonJello

Any grit needed?

Sill Bimmons

Lich Wombat.

Nope.

jjfozz

A little too boney for my tastes
http://www.pumpkinrot.com/images/2015_34.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

my mom used to eat salt for dessert. Like, pour salt on her hand like for a tequila shot, just minus the lime and tequila. Yeah, she takes blood pressure meds now.

Unsurprised

Both of my parents would add salt to tortilla chips.

Unsurprised

I think everyone needs this: http://i.imgur.com/ncaCrme.mp4

Unsurprised

Let’s try again: http://imgur.com/ncaCrme

jjfozz

Quite a doll
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King Hippo

3/10 missing several limbs….gimme a few more beers and ask later

jjfozz

Dear Adidas, sport doesn’t need you or me or any of the starving athletes at home. You just need our money. Stop beating around the bush and just ask for it.

jjfozz

Good evening you shoot-from-the-hip, always banging, always hanging, big-dick swinging, marvelous motherfuckers

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Damn

Unsurprised

Damn

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Spanky Datass

Harri’er? I barely even know ‘er!?!
/slaps eject handles … hard

LemonJello

Looks like everyone’s taxes went up a bit that year!

trollsoharduniversity

My wife found a Boston area Jets meetup group for me. I’m at a bar in Back Bay. So far no one has demanded that anyone show their tits. I’m simultaneously relieved and disappointed. Further bulletins as events warrant.

trollsoharduniversity

He’s not here yet

trollsoharduniversity

There’s like a hundred of that guy here

King Hippo

this does not sound like a Jets gathering, unless you were late for the lobotomy round

trollsoharduniversity

What’s a lobotomy? By the way, My wife found a Boston area Jets meetup group for me. I’m at a bar in Back Bay. So far no one has demanded that anyone show their tits. I’m simultaneously relieved and disappointed. Further bulletins as events warrant.

Sep

GAH! Who is that wrinkled old woman wearing a “Broadway Joe” prosthetic nose?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Btw, did anyone else near DC/VA/Fozz’a rage center watch the NASA rocket launch today? That was a rare thing that didn’t suck.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Today sucked a big fat fatty as work, sleep deprivation, and the little black dog all showed up at once. I honestly don’t think I can watch a Jets game, it might put me over the edge.

Col. Duke LaCross

Wasn’t it called”JACKED UP!” back then?

Shogun Marcus

I have done a thing. Now to food and vicariously watch the game through your words. IT’S LIKE I’M THERE BUT HERE AND INSIDE YOU AND YOUR HOMES ALL AT ONCE!
/checks pill bottle
Who the hell dropped the Molly in my xanax?

Sill Bimmons

Calling someone “cerebral” to describe their intelligence is an insult to the cerebrum.

http://image.slidesharecdn.com/nervoussystemnotes-120213121230-phpapp01/95/nervous-system-notes-18-728.jpg

Spur

No Expansion for the Big 12 means Charlie Strong is gone for Texas and in comes Tom Herman

Spur

All this Cowboy talk needs to stop. Cowboys are just an old feeble gloryboy team. There is no reason to talk about this team. None whatsoever.

In related news
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Sill Bimmons

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Sill Bimmons

smgdmfhrotmfflmmfao

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

MICHEAL J. FOX’S FAVORITE!

LemonJello

How many empties are rattling around at Broadway Joe’s feet?

Senor Weaselo

All of them.

Spur

Gentleman. Ladies.

Sill Bimmons

I guess the gentleman is DTZM.

Senor Weaselo

ARE YOU READY FOR A CURBSTOMP?
http://s757.photobucket.com/user/DefconCreator/media/Curbstomp1_zpspcowhu7d.jpg.html

But yeah, this is not gonna be fun. Like, I’ll probably be exclusively watching Dirt Browns-Dirt Argos by 9:00. And/or Ice Giants vs. Ice Niners (currently 1-0 Rangers, but it’s a 5 on 3).

Senor Weaselo

Aaaaaaand as soon as I say that it’s tied because Burns body-slammed Nash behind the SJ net, and not much you can do on a 5 on 2.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sill Bimmons

My cat headbutts my device until I put it down and acknowledge her magnificence.

Sill Bimmons

Stuck watching the Red Wings team introductions because LAST SEASON AT TEH JOE FAP FAP FAP

Beerguyrob

OLYMPIA 4 LIFE!

King Hippo

also, I have no chance in fantasy (will only check scores if Johnson gets his 7th TD, which will NEVAR happen on 2 Kool 4 Skool Arians’ watch), nor any positive OR hate-based rooting interest tonight. But I shall watch, and I shall DRANK because CHUH CHUH and FUCK YOU, MONDAY!!

Sill Bimmons

WERE BROTHERS IN JOHNSON WAIT HOLY SHIT THAT DOESNT SOUND RIGHT

Sill Bimmons

fywp smh

King Hippo

as long as I am alone (manhood rules WOO) this song makes me openly weep every time I hears it in the car. and they play it quite frequent on First Wave ,, smgdh

Sill Bimmons

I never thought I’d value solitude over companionship.

Then life happened.

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Sill Bimmons
Sill Bimmons

Yes, the league does need more 100 point scorers, Kevin!

5 x 5 x 5 x 5 x 5

The goal needs to be made 5 cm wider on either side and 5 cm taller, and the ice surface needs to be lengthened and widened by 5 feet.

Sill Bimmons

Smoothie Bar: CLOSED

BRING IN FLOCK OF SEAGULLS GUY

http://a.espncdn.com/combiner/i?img=/i/headshots/nhl/players/full/3037703.png

Sill Bimmons

hey guys

ArmedandHammered

Hey Sill.

Sill Bimmons

sup armedandhammered

LemonJello
LemonJello

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Sill Bimmons

smh

Spanky Datass

suh duu

Sill Bimmons

yo not much apart from bending over and kissing teh stillers asses goodbye took awhile lol

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