Your “Today is a Dead News Day” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

It seems that in honour of tonight’s third and final Presidential debate, all NFL news is doom & gloom:

  • Skipping practice: Joe Flacco; Odell Beckham Jr.; Terrelle Prior.
  • Out multiple weeks: Eddie Lacy; Ben Roethlisberger.
  • Fined: Vontaze Burfict – $75000 + no games.
  • Benched: Ryan Fitzpatrick. Welcome back, Geno.
  • Shoulda let Mom make the Chunky: Dez Bryant.

One shining light is that Tyler Eifert – the new poster boy for eliminating the Pro Bowl – has begun practicing with the Bengals.

At the League’s Fall meetings in Houston, the Rams, Raiders & Chargers all gave updates as to their stadium situations. Mark Davis gave updates on both Oakland & Las Vegas, most likely in the Lionel Hutz “truth” and “TRUTH” voices.

Finally, the NFL & NFLPA released a joint statement on the protocol procedures followed after Cam Newton got rocked in the Thursday NFL opener versus the Broncos. You can determine its tl;dr status here. The two main takeaways are that

S-M-R-T
S-M-R-T
  1. Nothing amiss occurred in the sideline evaluation; and
  2. Ed Hochuli was correct in forcing Tyrod Taylor off after his hit.

I’m shocked…SHOCKED that the League would investigate itself and find itself to have done the correct thing. This kind of arrogance & confidence is why no one liked Teflondre.

Despite his kangol tam.
Despite his kangol tam.

Hey! The Blue Jays are out of the playoffs.

 


As usual, not much will happen in the debate tonight. The only important question was asked & answered a month ago by Big Daddy Drew.

what-happens-if-trump-calls-hillary-a-bitch-during-the-debate

 

Fox News’ Chris Wallace is tonight’s moderator. His topics for the debate are: debt and entitlements, immigration, economy, Supreme Court, foreign hot spots, and fitness to be president. I anticipate he’ll be more fair than the average Fox journalist, possibly lulling Trump into a false sense of security. At this point, there’s not much drama, outside of the special guests,

And none of them as beloved.
And none of them as beloved.

 

and tarmac games of chicken.

 

On the Trump side, he’s flying in Malik Obama, Barack’s half-brother (same dad), and Benghazi-truther Patricia Smith, who lost a son in the attack and whose confirmation bias only blames Hillary:

“I know she murdered him … I do hope she will tell me something. I don’t think she will because I don’t think she’s got the guts to tell me what happened (in Benghazi).” (CNN)

Mrs. Clinton is countering with Mark Cuban and Meg Whitman, because who doesn’t have billionaire friends they can fly around on donor dimes?

The tastiest protest of the evening is the “wall of taco trucks” being built in front of trump’s Las Vegas hotel in advance of tonight’s debate at UNLV.

It’s not around the complex, but it does make for an impressive, delicious sight on the one side of the street.

 

Tonight’s sports: (by God, we will need them)

  • Women’s Volleyball:
    • Baylor at Iowa State – 7:00 PM | ESPNU
    • Auburn at Mississippi – 9:00 PM | ESPNU
  • NBA Preseason Basketball: Knicks at Celtics – 7:30 PM | ESPN
  • MLB Playoff: Game 4: Cubs at Dodgers – 8:00 PM | FS1/Sportsnet1
  • NHL Hockey:
    • Red Wings at Rangers – 8:00 PM | OLN
    • Leafs at Jets – 8:00 | Sportsnet
  • Women’s International Friendly Soccer: U.S. vs. Switzerland – 9:00 PM | ESPN2

Plus, don’t forget about the new South Park tonight

It’s been a good season so far. BEWARE TROLL TRACE!

 

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Doktor Zymm

Should I put my vulture statue between my skull planters, or should I keep it over by my tentacle wine stoppers where it is now?

herodotus450

tahts the wrong place for tenticles imo god bles

theeWeeBabySeamus

Spring cannot come soon enough.
😉

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

These two are about melt down to their wicks any second.

Senor Weaselo

“…And will ISIS be replaced by something worse?”

Probably.

herodotus450

Remember when no one was allowed to bring up the fact that Dick Cheney had a lesbian daughter, despite the fact that he and Bush basically got elected on an anti-abortion, anti-gay platform. Simpler times.

JustStopDude

Nancy Reagan, and I am not making this up, was known in Hollywood, before she married Ronnie, as the blowjob queen. The movie studio basically hired her to go out with the talent, make sure they had a good time, and then sign with the studio.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

I’ve heard that as well. Then I think of old, scarecrow Nancy.

comment image

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Then circa 1987, I was like, “Bitch get off my cloud!”

Spur

The DNC was perfectly honest and bernie lost fair and square.

blaxabbath

Seriously. How does Trump miss mentioning that!?

...

If the Cubs weren’t winning and I were drunk, this would have triggered a hell of a rant about why the left will always lose elections and find a way to be proud of the fact.

blaxabbath

Hillary brought up her own emails?!

These are truly the two worst candidates in history!

Gratliff

SAY IT! CALL HIM A LOSER!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Violent Coup? Violent Coup!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Soup?

Spur

I got a sweet kit for my BF1 scout.

Sill Bimmons

PLEASE VIOLENT COUP

Nothing else will so dramatically demonstrate the impotence of your AR–15 arsenal against the fleet of Apache helicopters you so desperately wanted.

Spur

LOSER

The Coup will be the BEST COUP EVERY. It’s going to be GREAT.

...

You joke, but I actually think in my lifetime (next 50 years) I will see the collapse of our current system of the government.

scotchnaut

I’m slightly to the left, tbh.

Spur

“I take advantage of the laws, so trust me to fix them”

/Both of them

Beastmode Ate My Baby
King Hippo

At home, Al Gore is beating his head against a concrete wall.

theeWeeBabySeamus

He so totally cereal right now.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I just jerked off into a shag carpet fleshlight and found it more intellectually stimulating than this shit.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

What color was the carpet?

Senor Weaselo

And did it match the drapes?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Paisley! I did lots of blow with Prince in the 80s!

Spur

Romney and Newt would have hammered Hillary on the Clinton Foundation’s shady practices. Instead this idiot can’t pick one thing speak about.

King Hippo

Frankly, that’s the one thing about HillyBob that really gives me pause.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Her Redbaiting is my own personal kvetch.

Still, add those two things together, multiply by a kajillion, and she’s still more qualified than Trump.

King Hippo

That said, it would be after about 900 things one could list about the maniac across from her.

King Hippo

Hmmm, Donald says “gays” not exactly the preferred vernacular this century, fella.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“Those felchers, lemme tell ya, I love the felchers!”

blaxabbath

For Donald, that’s a fucking sacrament.

Spur

Clinton faltering here a bit. Not smirking now…

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

11 Billion people have HIV and I have fucked them all!

blaxabbath

“There is no evidence.”

This about sums up Hillary Clinton’s campaign.

Spur

It is pay to play.

blaxabbath

It’s really funny to watch people (mostly liberal) who hate McCain try to explain why Trump’s a bad guy for attacking McCain. Like, “He’s not a war hero….but Trump’s a jerk for saying it!”

...

McCain lost his credibility with me when he said he wouldn’t nominate any Clinton Supreme Court nominees.

Go fuck yourself, “Maverick.” You didn’t open Pandora’s Box, but you cracked the fucking lid.

...

Oh and remember that time Trump called his wife a cunt in front of reporters when she made a comment about his hair? No? Oh, that was McCain.

JustStopDude

I honestly can’t stand McCain because as a veteran, he fought against the Post 9-11 GI Bill.

Doktor Zymm

I always thought McCain was sort of the conservative Al Gore. Both of them had some good core ideas they really believed in, but ended up having to hew to the party line on other issues, and putting them in places they weren’t 100% comfortable. That’s why they both seemed kind of awkward in their campaigns, and much happier when they weren’t as involved in presidential crap.

...

I think we’d have been better off had he won the nomination and the in election in 2000.

Doktor Zymm

Who knows? It’s too big of a change, too long ago to have any idea how it would have shaken out.

King Hippo

Somebody needs to write an alt history novel series!!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Gore was always hawkish on war, to be fair.

Unsurprised

Well, you were wrong. McCain has no principles. His entire life and his entire Senate career has been spent covering his own ass no matter what the cost. He’s a feckless coward and I hope he loses in humiliating fashion because he couldn’t even pick a fucking position on a man who called him a loser for being a POW because he needed that shit weasel’s supporters just to win his primary.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Really? McCain’s policies and positions are shit, miserable and hypocritical. Trump attacked him because he got shot down over NV and he is a idiot for saying that. The two have no interaction in logic. Why is that so tough for you?

blaxabbath

I’m prepping a couple fillet mignons, mashed potatoes, asparagus, and a salad.

Always interested in input (using the filet instructions someone posted here).

Senor Weaselo

Make an extra for me.

JustStopDude

“No one has more respect for women than me and these stories have all been debunked”

I…just…this is bullshit. Openly demonstrative false bullshit.

King Hippo

The audience apparently couldn’t keep the chuckles in, either.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Trump: I got no good answer, so I’ll change the subject.

...

I enjoy how 538 is still daring to push a narrative where Trump can win.

“Well, if he wins the debate tonight…”

Right. Because that was *ever* a possibility.

King Hippo

If Hillary shits on Chris Wallace’s head…

Unsurprised

Mike Wallace would rise from the dead to vote for her if she did.

Sill Bimmons

Thank god, I’d been so confused!

/throws away holly berries and oak leaves

theeWeeBabySeamus

Obama’s home being all like…I didn’t grope no white wimmins. Why am I being talked about?

Unsurprised

Maybe he should have

Spur

I didnt even apologize to my wife

WTF!?

Senor Weaselo

I thought the rule was “When in doubt, apologize.”

King Hippo

The only true thing he’s said all night, in all likelihood.

LemonJello

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

“She did it! She did it! I’m gonna tell!”

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entropy

Easily one of the funniest jokes in that show.

King Hippo

Does this arrogant piece of shit even listen to himself speak?

theeWeeBabySeamus

No.

entropy

If he stopped to listen, he’d have less time to bless the world with his words of wisdom.

blaxabbath

Turns on tv.

“Excuse me. My turn.” -Donald Trump

Turns off tv and mails in ballot for Trump.

...

Too bad that it’ll get ripped up in the Columbus, Ohio post office.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Seriously…what’s going on in baseball?

...

Teeth is angry he’s gotten himself into a jam but has two outs so he can probably get out of it but he’ll cuss either way.

scotchnaut

Snoring?

Spur

The Venezuelan throw the ball at the Cuban who then hit the ball far.

Spur

My turn.
Wasn’t that Hillary’s motto?

LemonJello

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scotchnaut

“If you could be afraid of everything, that would be great.”

-Donald Trump

JustStopDude

“Furthermore Hillary, its a known fact that you are responsible for herpes”

“Mr. Trump that is not true and has been debunked”

Spur

A trade prosecutor? How about a prosecutor for wall street bankers?

Gratliff

“Donald Trump is an asshole!”

/Everyone acts like they didn’t know this 10 years ago

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh, he doesn’t like it when she talks over him. Interesting.

yeah right

Bryan Cranston was trying to grab a beer at the beer stand and he got swarmed by a bunch of fans who wanted selfies.
Fucking LA man.

...

Are the people there as vapid as I imagine them to be?

I read some comment from someone in L.A. sort of shitting on Chicago praising that Los Angelinos are “risk takers and dreamers” even though I read that as “narcissistic wannabe actors.”

LemonJello

“risk takers and dreamers”

Is that code for baristas and waiters/waitresses?

Unsurprised

Yes

JustStopDude

Are people so stupid that they think that its easier to reach double digit growth in the first world?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes.

...

It’s going to be so hard to justify having a strong capitalistic economy going forward when you can’t grow the economy more than a percentage point a year.

JustStopDude

The decline in Chinese consumption is pretty much what has slowed down the entire global economy. Furthermore, pointing to China as the example of good economic policy is grossly ignorant.

Central planning is very effective in primitive economic systems. Very rapidly, there develops diminished returns…which is what China is struggling with. The Chinese financial markets are a mess.

Sill Bimmons

SO THIS IS YOUR EGO WHIP PSIONIC ATTACK MUTHAFUCKAS

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_PtgsBOnpJnA/TNxY49nGdvI/AAAAAAAAAW0/jx-FE8MynQA/s1600/effects+of+ego+whip.jpg

Add your Intelligence and Wisdom then roll for effect.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Temporary insanity? Woo!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m waiting for Trump to have to take a drink of water using both hands on the glass. That would be precious.

JustStopDude

Has there ever been a candidate that just openly insults their opponent during a debate every single time they get asked a question?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I don’t believe I’ve ever seen this type of childishness, even in local stuff.

King Hippo

HillyBob is KILLING IT tonight. She at her bestest.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

She’s doing well. If she can just stay off of the Redbaiting, I’ll be happy.

Spur

Trump wants to go toe to toe on with Hillary on BIRD LAW

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scotchnaut

Hillary stare tells me she’s a stone-cold killer.

/in a good way