Room at the Top (of the Table)? Weekend Lesser Footy Fall Splosion!

Oh yeah, we is going full 80s cheese mode to illustrate the Man City/Arseholes/Shite three way currently in progress, with Chelski and Spurs jacking it just a point back. That is some parity going on.

Did you own this cassingle? If not this, then which? I had several Duran Duran, or “D Squared” as the REALLY cool kids would say. Especially the soundtrack leads. Really liked “A View to A Kill.” Though I did own Adam’s “Goody Two Shoes” I believe. Used to get ’em for 99 cents to $1.49, we sure ’nuff did!! Now git off a mah lawn…

Good news! Unless you are a cursed Arsenal fan like Horatio, you can sleep in! No need to watch the snuff porn of their visit to lowly Sunderland (7:30, NBCSN).

In the meh 10:00 window, NBCSN features Manure hosting Burnley, because of course they do. Coming off a 4-nil thrashing at the hands of Chelski, they certainly have much to prove. Starting to look like missing out on Europe might be a trend for them. CNBC gets a much better fixture, with Foxy Footy heading to White Hart Lane to face Spurs. Our defending champion Foxes are doing surprisingly well in Champions League round robin play, but 12th in the League won’t make for a return trip even to Europa. City and West Brom lead the pack of Extra Time matches.

11th position Palace host the fucking Shite on big NBC at 12:30. DO. NOT. WATCH.

Sunday Funday seems off, and it is because England “falls back” a week earlier than we do. So the Lesser Footy (NBCSN) AND the London Greater Footy (Fox) Game both kick off at 9:30 am. I will need BOTH laptops and the teevee box going, as Everton (still clinging to 6th position) host a disappointing West Ham side that have finally climbed out of the relegation zone, at least. I’m not particularly optimistic, given the Blues recent form, but these have tended to be matches to remember recently. Giant-drawing Soton host Chelski, and will look to finish what they started this week, but the noon kickoff (NBC) is less than favourable for the American casual fan. Oh well.

Back to the JV ranks we go…

West Virginia at Oklahoma State (Noon, Fox)

Oh, Alfred Kinsey could have a field day with this one. Cousinfuckers vs. orange paddle BDSM enthusiasts. This feels like a game that should only be played like at 9 pm.

WON’T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!

/creepy Okie with paddle: “Oh we are…”

Also, the game itself should be very high scoring, in that classic 10-team Big 12 way. As much back end defense as a Fire Island after-party.

Michigan at Michigan State (Noon, ESPN)

Sparty is awful this year, don’t actually view this shitshow. Just remember that (i) this wretched team STILL beat Notre Dame in South Bend, and (ii) beat Harbs in Ann Arbor last year like this:

With like NO TIME LEFT. This will always be one of the bestest things that has EVAR happened in the history of the universe. It’s right up there with toppling Hitler.

Washington at Utah (3:30, FS1)

Yeah, little old FS1 has the best fixture of the day. Endless commercials for that asshole windbag and his talking horse co-host. But Team Secular Big Love and the regular season-ending Apple Cup are the Huskies’ biggest obstacles to playoff qualification. Lamar! watches and sticks pins in his many voodoo dolls. UCLA’s backup, Gentile QB threw the ball all over Utah last week, but Washington is more of a running team. SUPER interesting matchup.

Texas Tech at TCU (3:30, ESPN2)

Hey, you like FUN, dontcha? First team to 60 wins. This will be like the Cousinfucker/BDSM game on acid. With lots of blood from the Bloodeyes FOAR the Bloodeyes God.

Nebraska at Wisconsin (7:00, ESPN)

People will insist that we take the corn weirdos serious until they lose a game. So…tonight.

Auburn at Ole Miss (7:15, SECN)

Auburn keeps surprising me, week after week, but Johnny Reb is a wounded bear, cornered at home. Dangerous trap to be walking into. If’n Aubie wins here, I will start to think even the Iron Bowl could be up for grabs.

Clemson at Florida State (8:00, ABC)

This would be a lot more interesting had State made their chip shot FG and beat the Tiggers. Then, this would be the de facto ACC championship game, with FSU as Ville’s stand-in. Alas, it’s now a game Clemson can likely afford to lose, though I doubt they will. This is a matchup of two of the stupidest coaches in America, watch all the sideline shots of mouth breathing. Very Forrest Gump-like.

Washington State at Oregon State (10:45, ESPN2)

This should be a rout for Leach and company, but our late night/tweaker options are bleak. At least we can make “Cougs Feast on Beavers” jokes aplenty!

wazzu24

beavera

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Brick Meathook

I am now in a bar in Southern California that is a YUUUUUGE Florida State bar. The World Series is on and all I hear are Seminole chants.

Dat’s racess!!! I wanna see the OTHER Indians! Chop Chop, Sabu! Saavy?

Brick Meathook

JOE BUCK AND FOX: CANCER IS BAD

Senor Weaselo

Holy shit, Joe Buck’s correct about something?

Shogun Marcus

Well then he should chemo himself.

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Shogun Marcus

Hey Hippo…dis ones new Alexis!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=xZAJeYzrtUY

Senor Weaselo

Evening all. Cubs are Cubsing, I see.

Brick Meathook

So which is the open thread tonight?

Brick Meathook

ALSO: Is The Tribe allowed to play tonight?
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Shogun Marcus

Is the Factory expanding/leasing/franchising to Chicago?

Gratliff

PENALTY SHOT FOR JAKE VORACEK

Gratliff

TIED GAME IN PHILLY

JustStopDude

Just stumbled back from a beer tasting….

So I had three people with me. The girl I have been boinking from Poland, a dude from China, and another dude from Egypt. Pretty much all of them have been struggling to adjust to living in the US. I explain to them what Halloween is and that there is a brewery in a remote location that is having a party, starting at noon, going to 8 pm. All of them are worried about going because its in rural Virginia and they are afraid the locals will not like them.

Just watch my Chinese bro talk for an hour with a guy about grilling meat, which concluding with them exchanging phone info for the next time the local guy is doing brisket because he wants my colleague there. My girl just wiped the floor with a husband and wife team playing pool. And my coworker from Egypt has spent at least a half an hour talking to a husband and wife local about some fucking British baking show. The brewery spent like 20 minutes flashing the lights for people to leave and folks are hugging and practically crying because we are leaving the area.

Meanwhile I have been trying to consume my age in beer. Really tits place up in the Mountains of Virginia. Chaos Mountain Brewing. Made us feel like fucking family from all over and I cannot recommend it enough.

Gratliff

Radko Gudas with a sliding block on a clear attempt followed by a hand pass to himself to bat down a flip clear attempt immediately after, followed by a sliding swipe to pass the puck clear across the ice to Giroux on the other side of the ice for a one timer goal. HOLY SHIT.

LemonJello

Evening all you glorious hive of humorists and observers of the human condition!

LemonJello

This weekend has been dedicated to my middle child, OrangeJello’s high school homecoming “festivities.” She was on the homecoming court, so I had to watch the hobo’s shuffle of a parade this podunk school threw together. Then all the fall sport seniors were honored prior to the football game (she played tennis) so we had to be there for that “ceremony” then sit through a terri-bad half of small school NC fitbaw to watch her not be selected as homecoming queen. The cherry on this sundae was meeting her date for the dance tonight so Lady LemonJello could get photos.

So, now I’m jumping between Small Bears v Other [Redacteds] and Clemson v FlaSt.

How the hell is everyone doing?

Brick Meathook

Matthew McConaughey approves

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Gratliff
Gratliff

Flower being Flower, yes.

Gratliff

Fucking Crosby. Isn’t it time for him to get a bullshit contract in St. Louis or something?

Brick Meathook

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Gratliff

SCORACEK! BUT GIROUX HURT! FUCKING SPORTS

Gratliff

I’m waiting for the Flyers to shit the bed/humiliate Pittsburgh so I can use an appropriate theme.

Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised

I saw a corgi-collie mix that looked just like this guy today.

http://thumbnails115.imagebam.com/51228/1c7c4a512275890.jpg

Unsurprised

Thank you, Jebus.

Important thing I saw on the Oxford Square today: Eli Manning shopping for clothes with his mother. Cc @xmasape— Bunkie Perkins (@BunkiePerkins) October 28, 2016

blackroseMD1

First two cassettes I ever bought were Pretty Hate Machine by Nine Inch Nails and something by Too Short.

I still have the NIN tape somewhere. Don’t think I actually listened to the Too Short tape more than once or twice.

Unsurprised

Too Short is still too vulgar for me to really enjoy and I was a little kid when I first heard him.

No wonder I’m so fucked up.

blackroseMD1

Yeah, that was my first real experience with rap that wasn’t MC Hammer or Vanilla Ice. Probably the reason I turned into a metalhead.

Brick Meathook

WTF? I turn on Baylor at Texas and it’s 14-14 five minutes into the game?

laserguru

Here’s a sure sign of my age: cassettes hadn’t been invented when I bought my first album and 8 tracks were a few years away as well. You bought vinyl and liked it.
My first 2 albums, bought off the rack because they were still popular were The Beatles White Album and Creedence Cosmos Factory.

I still love both of those albums.
Yes I still own a turntable.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Well this is shocking:

http://deadspin.com/autopsy-jose-fernandez-had-alcohol-cocaine-in-system-1788366356

Honestly, I’d be a lot more surprised if anyone on a boat in Miami after 1am DIDN’T have cocaine in their system.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The first three cassettes I bought (via Columbia House) were INXS’s “Listen Like Thieves” (not bad, not bad), The Outfield’s “Play Deep” (all right, all right), and Sly Fox’s “Let’s Go All the Way” (GOOD GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE – even at the time).

ballsofsteelandfury

Since we are going back to the days when I was 12….

COUGARS MUNCH BEAVERS 4 EVA!

Also, I still have my cassingles.
And Adam Ant is a god.

I miss crazy Harbaugh in the NFL.

Fronkenshteen

I rely on (fucking) AppleTV. Literally every other app is working like a dream except NBCSports, which has all teh lesser footy. I’m seeing red, but since my parents are here, my rage must be controlled. So, I popped not one, but TWO Clonazepam & since my dad stepped out to an AA meeting, I’m in the shitter getting as stoned as nine motherfuckers, blowing my hits at the fan through a toilet roll tube stuffed with dryer sheets. I’m a mess, huh?
https://youtu.be/xwCbBwUCgrA

Don T

Happy Birthday man! For me that would be a promising start.

theeWeeBabySeamus

My stoner bruthah (and when I say bruthah, I mean BRUTHAH) is due here any minute. If that negro doesn’t have weed on him when he arrives, I’m sending his ass back home.
/nawt raycess
//he’s family and I love him, but dude better bring weed

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ooops….I meant “stoner bruthah nephew in law”.
tl:dr…I want some weed.

Shogun Marcus

You “win” the weekend sir and I admire your moxie!

Fronkenshteen

Is that 3 weeks running for that brunette WSU cheerleader?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The first tape I bought was “The Simpsons Sing the Blues.” The first CD I bought was Coolio’s “Gangsta’s Paradise.” Then I quickly went Zeppelin and its ilk. Last record I bought was H Jon Benjamin’s “Well I Should Have…Learned To Play the Piano.”

I’m a weirdo.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Don T

Ammonia Avenue was the 3rd CD I bought (Led Zep III & the ELO 80s one).
I’ve been old forever.

Don T

Quite Jacksonvillian blight at the Stadium of Light.
/snorts drano, pinky-out of straw

Don T

Does NC State play today?
Yes. This is my only source of college “?”. I like this life choice.

Looks like David Moyers is angling for the canary in a coal mine position.

Don T

Damn daylight savings time, around here known as “tv in english’s an hour later”. Royally fucks up MNF.

Unsurprised

Shame. I’ll be in Corvallis anyway, but spending it with people I know instead of strangers I could get wasted and embarrass myself around.

JustStopDude

Man…I want to watch that Mich-Mich State game just to see how fucking batshit insane Harbaugh is going to be.

I think he is going to shoot for breaking the 1916 record, set by Georgia Tech, over Cumberland, 222-0.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Fun Fact: I never owned a cassingle. Plenty of 45s, but by the time things got around to cassettes, it just seemed too cumbersome to buy them as singles on cassette. The last “new” album I ever bought on vinyl? Duran Duran Arena, featuring the single, Wild Boys.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M43wsiNBwmo

laserguru

Agreed.
Lots of 45s.

I did own a few EPs but no cassingles.

Adam Ant and Adam and the Ants and all the permutations are big favorites.