NFL News:
- Norv news! Norv Turner resigned from the Vikings this morning. No reason has officially been given, so speculate away!
- It seems to have broken Big Daddy Drew.
- Wade Phillips is back at work.
- The PA may be pushing the NFL to tolerate Mary Jane as an alternative to chemical painkillers, especially if/once Proposition 64 passes in California,
- There are marijuana ballot initiatives in other NFL-friendly states like Arizona, Florida, Massachusetts & Nevada.
- Adding in Colorado & Washington, that’s 6 states with (currently) 10 franchises.
- If they look to licence official suppliers, they don’t need to go further than Ricky Williams, blunt brother #1.
- There are marijuana ballot initiatives in other NFL-friendly states like Arizona, Florida, Massachusetts & Nevada.
- It’ll be the Nick Foles show for the Chiefs versus the Jaguras this week, as Alex Smith’s 13 concussions last Sunday will have him on the sidelines.
- Seriously, Tom Brady – shut the fuck up!
- Should have shut up sooner? Brian Baldinger, who has been suspended by NFL Network for 6 months for advocating the Eagles put a bounty on Ezekiel Elliott
There’s nothing more fun, or nerve-wracking, than a Game 7 for the championship. (Or, y’know, the Super Bowl.) Add in whatever historical factoids that give extra weight/incentive to a team and a fanbase, and you’ve got instant ratings.
I’ve been fortunate enough to have been to three NFC Championship games and one NHL Stanley Cup Game 7 in my lifetime. The NFC championships were:
- 2007 – Giants at Green Bay
- 2013 – Niners at Seahawks
- 2014 – Packers at Seahawks
Each one was fantastic in their own way. Giants-Packers was going to be on “the frozen tundra”. I spent the night before trying to drink Titletown Brewing dry. The game ended the way most Favre seasons did – with an interception leading to the other team’s winning field goal, followed by 6 months of retirement rumours.
Having grown up a Packers fan – yes, I have one of those shares; the Seahawks didn’t exist until 1976 – it was bittersweet, because I thrilled at the fact of going to my first Lambeau game but cheated that I wasn’t rewarded for having spent all that money to get there. I’d like to think it would’ve felt the same had I lived there.
The Niners-Seahawks was great from both a season ticket-holder perspective and a fan’s perspective. Having gotten my season’s tickets in 2010, I hadn’t been there for long, but had been there for the whole Pete Carroll era, and it seemed like the culmination of an actual plan, something fans rarely see work through to fruition. My wife didn’t cotton to all the “FUCK THE NINERS!” yells and chants, but the celebration at the end was a sports feeling I’d never had.
The 2014 game, therefore, was full of mixed emotions: Packers fan but Seahawks season ticket-holder. It was one of those situations where I had two dogs in the fight, so I couldn’t lose. But a significant part of my sports fandom wanted a different outcome, even though Mike McCarthy’s goal-line decision-making in that game eerily foreshadowed the circumstances of Super Bowl 49.
The 2011 Stanley Cup Game 7 had the same circumstance. Growing up as a kid, and Atom-level hockey player, I wanted to be a Bruin, either Bobby Orr or Gerry Cheevers. I had their cards, posters and knock-off jerseys. I suffered them losing to the Habs and the Oilers, and then losing Ray Bourque to the Avs, so he could finally win one. I know the Red Sox had a longer drought, but as I’ve often said – I don’t give a crap about the Red Sox.
I grew up in Vancouver. The Canucks have been a consistently bad franchise for most of their 46 years, so the few triumphs really stick out in people’s minds. (And, unfortunately, turn casual fans into complete assholes – Patriots fans, but without any trophies.) I became a Bruins fan partly because my younger hockey-playing self needed a hero, and there wasn’t one locally. Both the 1982 and 1994 Cup Finals teams were unexpected surprises, which made cheering for them fun. The 2011 team was expected to make the Finals, so that was different.
Once again, the 2011 Game 7 was a case of having two dogs in the fight.
Given that the youngest curse ending tonight is 78 years, expect lots of interviews with old people just before the meteor hits.
Tonight’s sports:
- MLB: Game 7 – Chicago at Cleveland – 8:00 | FOX/Sportsnet
- College Football: Toledo at Akron – 7:30 PM | ESPN2
- NBA Basketball:
- Raptors at Wizards – 7:00 | TSN
- Bulls at Celtics – 8:00 PM | ESPN
- Thunder at Clippers – 10:30 PM | ESPN/TSN
- NHL Hockey:
- Canucks at Canadiens – 7:30 | Sportsnet1/360
- Red Wings at Flyers – 8:00 PM | NBCSN
- Penguins at Ducks – 10:30 | Sportsnet1/360
I have friends who support both teams, so I want a good game. DON’T BE A BLOWOUT!
And now the attrition begins…
Hey! They’re pulling out the tortured stats! My favorite!
http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/KF/2016/07/20/giuliani_america.gif
Holy shit.
Hey, good thing Maddon took Hendricks out at 63 pitches in the 5th!
And it’s a good thing he felt the need to overextend Chapman last night with a large lead!
He has fucked up the pitcher changing this game. Hendrix could have stayed in for the 5th Lester could have gone longer.
Exactly. There was no reason to take Hendricks out other than panic, and as a Yankees fan who watched Joe Torre I know more than I’d like about panic. Hendricks goes 80-90, and he was at full rest so that’s pretty easy, Lester comes in at most in the 7th and Chapman gives you the one inning he might have had.
And don’t forget they still had Lackey, who wasn’t great in his one appearance but was rested and was good this season.
If Coco Crisp retires and gets fat, will he then be Coco Puffed?
Chapman is toast. Get the hook.
Isn’t Lebron a Yankee fan?
“You’re right, but he can go fuck himself.” -(Most) Yankee fans
Oh for the love of everything Cubs, just win this so LeBron shuts the fuck up.
Fuck you Lebron
Cubs fans everywhere accept their fate
Straight outta Willimantic CT ya’ll!
http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/KF/2016/10/05/hat_breath_500.gif
OH FUCK NO I HAVE TO WAKE UP 5 TOMORROW I CAN’T DO EXTRA INNINGS END THIS SHIT
Just stay up. The emergency sirens will keep you from sleeping either way.
Ho. Lee. Shit.
Hey, Dok, you may want to shelter in place.
There’s someone outside either yelling “GO” or “NO” repeatedly. Either way, I ain’t leaving my apt tonight.
AHAHAHA
I’ve noticed the Indians score when pitchers get changed during the inning…
Oh Cubs.
http://replygif.net/i/640.gif
Honestly, even if the Cubs blow this, they have exhibited so many un-Cubs-like characteristics over the course of these playoffs, that I really won’t be able to say something like “oh, haha, they Cubsed it.” They’re legitimately good this year, will still be good next year, and have shown that “curses” are really just consistently poor management.
Can you say that Maddon Cubsed it?
Here comes the pain
OK, your chances are not “huge” to be shot or burned out by a “militia” after the election, so just relax.
*Depending on where you live.
http://thighgaphack.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/how-to-get-a-bikini-bridge-gap.jpg
Not over yet!
Huh, my voter registration card (I finally switched to IL after living here 8 years) doesn’t have my party affiliation on it. I registered as Republican back when I turned 18, cause I’ve enjoyed a good joke my whole life, and I was kind of looking forward to going to vote in the low-income coop across the street with that on my card. Oh well, it’ll just have to wait until I make my fortune and run for Senate!
Who drinks yellowtail other than college students, young gay men, and people at parties where someone brought it hoping it would be opened after they left?
Mascots being assholes. http://imgur.com/gallery/Sfm2j
I didn’t hear a single guitar riff, stomp, or clap!
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“WHO HAS DISTURBED MY SLUMBER AND SUMMONED ME?”
The fuck is that elephant running away for? Richard Sherman hasn’t tackled anyone in years.
Throw a flag, he’ll just stop right there and cry.
At least Cleveland will still have the Browns.
Don’t remind them.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/us-militia-girds-for-trouble-as-presidential-election-nears/ar-AAjJlOv?OCID=ansmsnnews11
History vs soul crushing disaster: WHO YA GOT!?
You talking about this game or the presidential election?
The answer, of course, is yes.
Yes
Yes?
Trump in a close one because the “fuck the Clintons!” vote is strong.
I kinda like the Indians being good. Their horribly offensive mascot kind of distracts from the whole [*Redacted] s conversation.
They said they were going to talk about it after the Series. Let’s see what happens.
There won’t be a name change, but I’m guessing chief wahoo gets sent to the rez.
So the argument is the NAME isn’t offensive but the mascot is, while the [REDACTEDS] are offensive as a slur.
I’m not an expert.
They both have offensive stuff, offensive to the same groups, debatable whether it’s different or which is worse or whatever. The sad truth is that the nation has a short-ass attention span for this stuff, so talking about both is hard for the crowd.
Yeah, well, next time fight harder.
-Trump voter, probably
Let’s see some insurance runs
Yeah, I wanna know if it’s gonna be happy riots, or angry riots
I could crush those kids in a skills competition
What i remember of the 90’s Indians
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VV3fNK31HD4&w=560&h=315%5D
My son, the high school baseball pitcher, just called Lester a pussy for the way he threw that ball to first.
He’s not wrong.
Made me feel better than if he’d wound up and thrown it to second.
If by “second” you mean “deep centerfield”
OOOOOOOOOOOH!
http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/KF/2013/07/24/corn_makeout.gif
I don’t understand how a pitcher can’t throw to a base
Yeah, usually that affliction is restricted to Chuck Knoblauch types.
Do these games always drag like this?
I think this is actually a fairly fast moving baseball game. As I understand it, baseball was popular back before they had tv, because it gave people who were skipping work something to look at while they were drinking all day.
You know what would be better? The last two minutes of a football game with 4 time-outs, the 2 minute warning, and 7 commercials for guys who can’t get a boner unless they own two bathtubs.
When the little man in the diving helmet surfaces from the bath water, we need to get him to a pressure chamber right away so he doesn’t get the bends!
Is this leading to a “man in the boat” punchline?
It totally could! I feel like there’s a rich vein of filthy puns here…
That was very clearly a “God Dammit”
I always thought it would be great if Zoberist was a huge drunk, since his name sounds like soberest. Of course, they don’t really do the heavy drinking thing in baseball anymore. It’s all those clean living, talented immigrants taking over the game!
Clean living immigrants like Jose Fernandez for instance.
http://www.cnn.com/2016/10/29/us/miami-jose-fernandez-toxicology/
Find me a single sober person on a boat in Miami.
I’ll wait.
“Find me a single sober person on a boat”.
Fixed
Pfft, he should be able to drink many times that much and still function. He ain’t no Wade Boggs.
Plot twist, that was the magic of the chicken.
Can the Cubs do it?
I hate this Chapman in the eighth speculation. Up 3, wait and see what happens.
I kinda wish I had made more of an effort in the interview I had with the Cubs a couple years back. I could totally ride these coattails and put ‘contributed to the Cubs not sucking with fancy sports statistics’ on my resume
I wish you’d get a saber for mastering your sabermetrics. You know, for ceremonial purposes.
A saber is a slashing weapon. FOR SLASHING CONFIDENCE MARGINS!
And you could have gotten us all tickets!
Nah, those tickets would have been for my good friend StubHub.
Well that sucked.
gahhhhh hurry up already
http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/KF/2016/11/02/classic-painting-gifs-kiszkiloszki_3.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_liegfdNGcC1qbyttao1_400.gif
Is Charlie Sheen at the game with a minor?
Is Charlie Sheen at the game without an ankle monitor-bracelet?
http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ly6cn87Vye1qeee3yo1_500.gif
I lived in NYC during the 2000 Subway Series, and Chicago during the past week has been waaaaay crazier.
Yeah, I agree, it was more the high level smack talk than anything because we had seen the World Series a fair bit in the city the last few years.
I remember many discussions centering around the relative payrolls of the two teams. This has been WAY more emotional.
Padre Weaselo said he had never heard the dojo so quiet after Jeter went yard to start Game 4, they had the radio on during their warmups and then immediately shut it off.
I was even less baseball-aware back then, but I remember walking down the street and hearing the game playing in every place I passed. Deja vu on that this week, and since it’s been crazy warm, that even includes people’s apartments. It’s pretty freaky, and people walking by are watching through every window as they pass. People were playing it on their phones on the bus. It’s a whole extra level.
Charlie Sheen playing the Crypt Keeper in a new Tales from the Crypt movie?
Innocent Chicago citizens be like
http://blogfiles.wfmu.org/KF/2016/10/19/tsunami_k_turns__WAY_TOO_BIG.gif
I follow the games so I know when to run!
If that picture were taken in Cleveland the flood would be gravy and NOBODY would be backing up.
And Indianapolis residents would be bussing over.
I know this isn’t a popular position but if I never see Bill Murray again I’ll be OK with it.
Hey America only likes people who have been accused of spousal abuse when they are White and Whacky!
http://68.media.tumblr.com/0baa5e04257b79de82e7a07753e76348/tumblr_ofrt85FRow1qmw08po1_1280.jpg
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EN3aQOAxBtQ/TWgHCTc5kpI/AAAAAAAAMZw/HZHPOU3UzlY/s1600/greatest+usc+song+girl+pic+ever.jpg
more of this please