Your “Merciful Heaven, It’s A Game 7!” Wednesday Night Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Norv news! Norv Turner resigned from the Vikings this morning. No reason has officially been given, so speculate away!
  • Wade Phillips is back at work.
  • The PA may be pushing the NFL to tolerate Mary Jane as an alternative to chemical painkillers, especially if/once Proposition 64 passes in California,
    • There are marijuana ballot initiatives in other NFL-friendly states like Arizona, Florida, Massachusetts & Nevada.
      •  Adding in Colorado & Washington, that’s 6 states with (currently) 10 franchises.
    • If they look to licence official suppliers, they don’t need to go further than Ricky Williams, blunt brother #1.
  • It’ll be the Nick Foles show for the Chiefs versus the Jaguras this week, as Alex Smith’s 13 concussions last Sunday will have him on the sidelines.
  • Seriously, Tom Brady – shut the fuck up!
  • Should have shut up sooner? Brian Baldinger, who has been suspended by NFL Network for 6 months for advocating the Eagles put a bounty on Ezekiel Elliott

    He swears he won't do it again.
    He swears he won’t do it again. Scout’s honor.

There’s nothing more fun, or nerve-wracking, than a Game 7 for the championship. (Or, y’know, the Super Bowl.) Add in whatever historical factoids that give extra weight/incentive to a team and a fanbase, and you’ve got instant ratings.

I’ve been fortunate enough to have been to  three NFC Championship games and one NHL Stanley Cup Game 7 in my lifetime. The NFC championships were:

  • 2007 – Giants at Green Bay
  • 2013 – Niners at Seahawks
  • 2014 – Packers at Seahawks

Each one was fantastic in their own way. Giants-Packers was going to be on “the frozen tundra”. I spent the night before trying to drink Titletown Brewing dry. The game ended the way most Favre seasons did – with an interception leading to the other team’s winning field goal, followed by 6 months of retirement rumours.

Plus, I got to see a guy wearing a deer.

Having grown up a Packers fan – yes, I have one of those shares; the Seahawks didn’t exist until 1976 – it was bittersweet, because I thrilled at the fact of going to my first Lambeau game but cheated that I wasn’t rewarded for having spent all that money to get there. I’d like to think it would’ve felt the same had I lived there.

The Niners-Seahawks was great from both a season ticket-holder perspective and a fan’s perspective. Having gotten my season’s tickets in 2010, I hadn’t been there for long, but had been there for the whole Pete Carroll era, and it seemed like the culmination of an actual plan, something fans rarely see work through to fruition. My wife didn’t cotton to all the “FUCK THE NINERS!” yells and chants, but the celebration at the end was a sports feeling I’d never had.

She's got a valid opinion on this as well.
She’s got a valid opinion on this as well.

The 2014 game, therefore, was full of mixed emotions: Packers fan but Seahawks season ticket-holder. It was one of those situations where I had two dogs in the fight, so I couldn’t lose. But a significant part of my sports fandom wanted a different outcome, even though Mike McCarthy’s goal-line decision-making in that game eerily foreshadowed the circumstances of Super Bowl 49.

The 2011 Stanley Cup Game 7 had the same circumstance. Growing up as a kid, and Atom-level hockey player, I wanted to be a Bruin, either Bobby Orr or Gerry Cheevers. I had their cards, posters and knock-off jerseys. I suffered them losing to the Habs and the Oilers, and then losing Ray Bourque to the Avs, so he could finally win one. I know the Red Sox had a longer drought, but as I’ve often said – I don’t give a crap about the Red Sox.

I grew up in Vancouver. The Canucks have been a consistently bad franchise for most of their 46 years, so the few triumphs really stick out in people’s minds. (And, unfortunately, turn casual fans into complete assholes – Patriots fans, but without any trophies.) I became a Bruins fan partly because my younger hockey-playing self needed a hero, and there wasn’t one locally. Both the 1982 and 1994 Cup Finals teams were unexpected surprises, which made cheering for them fun. The 2011 team was expected to make the Finals, so that was different.

Once again, the 2011 Game 7 was a case of having two dogs in the fight.

I got what I wanted, and took its picture too.

Given that the youngest curse ending tonight is 78 years, expect lots of interviews with old people just before the meteor hits.

“CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN!…Ahh, shit…”

Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB: Game 7 – Chicago at Cleveland – 8:00 | FOX/Sportsnet
  • College Football: Toledo at Akron – 7:30 PM | ESPN2
  • NBA Basketball:
    • Raptors at Wizards – 7:00 | TSN
    • Bulls at Celtics – 8:00 PM | ESPN
    • Thunder at Clippers – 10:30 PM | ESPN/TSN
  • NHL Hockey:
    • Canucks at Canadiens – 7:30 | Sportsnet1/360
    • Red Wings at Flyers – 8:00 PM | NBCSN
    • Penguins at Ducks – 10:30 | Sportsnet1/360

I have friends who support both teams, so I want a good game. DON’T BE A BLOWOUT!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Duchess

SO extra inning in Game 7…. If this was the NFL I would think this was on purpose cause “Narrative”

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Ok, the hope now is the game goes to 19 innings so all the drunks pass out before the game ends so Zymm’s property doesn’t get destroyed in the more violent riots now.

Spur

The universe hates both teams and will not allow either to win.

Horatio Cornblower

“Let’s say this about Joe Maddon…”

Mr. Buck, unless you end that sentence, (and you didn’t, because you have the testicles of a 6 month old), with “he has fucked this game up 8 ways from Sunday”, you are very, very wrong.

Old School Zero
Doktor Zymm

Oh, and a note. If anyone here has ever tried to explain the rules of baseball to someone from another country, you will know that it is a rabbit hole of exceptions and not simple at all. You go from “oh, they have three chances to hit the ball, and run around the bases without getting out” to explaining about the various types of outs, to talking about balls v strikes and hits v fouls and not striking out on a foul….and here we have the infrequently seen exception with the bunt. For anyone out there with foreign guests trying to explain this stuff, best of luck.

Old School Zero

Goddamn. Someone grab the hook and yank Chapman already.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Aroldis Chapman doesn’t trust his fastball.

FUCKING PULL HIM

Senor Weaselo

So whoever signs Chapman next year is getting a righty reliever.

Spur

This pitcher is going to give up another home run. We all know its coming. Get it over with.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Chapman was fucking toast in the eighth. What in the wide world of sports is going on here?

Doktor Zymm

That’s a fancy BP! How old is the Cleveland stadium?

Senor Weaselo

Opened in ’94.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who is ready in the pen? Because either Chapman gives up a dong this inning or this game is going 12.

Doktor Zymm

I have enough soda water for one more drink, without opening a whole new one. For the sanity of the city and my personal Cubs fan friends, I want the Cubs to win. I also want to go to bed. The shots of pissed off Cubs fans in the crowd at Cleveland are eroding my desire for a Cubs win. Fucking longass baseball games. Funny, cause I like multiple OT hockey playoff/final games.

Spur

Was that bunt the Cubs’ version of not running Lynch on the goal line?

litre_cola

Who the fuck puts on a bunt with 2 strikes?

Senor Weaselo

Full count squeeze, because why not.

Redshirt

Chapman is pitching the 9th?! Does Joe Maddon have money on Cleveland?

blackroseMD1

“…and Chapman is going back out there.”

Maddon obviously has money on the Indians.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Well, at least we know it’s Chapman and Maddon’s faults if the Cubs lose

Gratliff

Chiraq gon burn

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Come on, passed ball!

Doktor Zymm

Thing that I have learned from this series : bunting is harder than people say it is

This is a weird god-damned game

Redshirt

Oh, Browns. Sorry force of habit.

Oh, Cubs.

Redshirt

Earlier at work.

Lights flickered.

Coworker: “What happened?”
Me: “Cubs are up by three.”

Who loses this game will do so in soul-crushing fashion.

Doktor Zymm

That there is an official Error, yes?

Senor Weaselo

Yes.

Horatio Cornblower

They’ll hit someone with it but an error on a SB attempt it kind of bullshit. There’s no time to set.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wooooooooo, Heyward!

Spur

Louis CK is a pitcher?

litre_cola

Hey gang, anything exciting going on tonight?

Doktor Zymm

I reheated some pizza that turned out quite well!

Spur

Dok is sandbagging their front door.

Redshirt

Oh, that’s right! You are all so focused on what the NFL does, you haven’t seen what MLB has done to the game. Its make today’s NFL look like the Gladiator games in the Colosseum.

Doktor Zymm

So, I’m not sure what just happened. Touchdown Seahawks?

Brocky

…… what’s the delay?

blackroseMD1

There was a challenge on if the runner sliding into second went away from the base in his slide trying to take out the shortstop (he didn’t). Now the Indians are doing a double switch.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is fucking horseshit

Senor Weaselo

OH, WE HAVE TAKEOUT RULE! I guess all we’re waiting on is the Buster Posey rule.

Doktor Zymm

Okay, I get why they do the closeup of the batter, but I’ve seen these repeated steal attempts live, and the quick cut is not as good as just a pull out shot. I guess that would be the equivalent of all-22 footage?

litre_cola

Hee hee pull out shot.

Redshirt

Driving home, listening to Game 7

Me (thinking): “You know, I’m not sure who I’m rooting for.”
Radio: “Chapman pictures. Line drive. Its going back. Its gone!”
Me (screaming): “YEAH! SUCK IT, YOU PRIMA DONNA BITCH!!!!”

Me (thinking): “Well, now I know.”

Horatio Cornblower

text from #1 son just now

“Joe Buck is a cunt”

I will not be this proud when he graduates college and/or makes me a grandfather.

Redshirt

If this isn’t a Banner Quote in 24 hours, then what are we doing here?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

With all this drama, the telecast is still dramatically improved by muting Joe Buck

Doktor Zymm

I don’t know what the odds on the Indians were, but the odds for a Vegas futures bet on the Cubs in the pre-season would only net you 3-1, they were the favorites going into this season.

Horatio Cornblower

Indians really have nothing left in their BP right now. Cubs should be alright.

SHOULD BE.

C’mon freak thunderstorm…

Old School Zero

DERPLE RAIN

DERRRRPLE RAIIIIN

Doktor Zymm

Okay, baseball people…obv this can’t end in a tie. If heavy rains hit and they have to call it….what, restart tomorrow?

Senor Weaselo

The playoff rules are if they call it, game is suspended until a scheduled time. With it being Game 7, I think it would just be a very long rain delay. Like 40 days and 40 nights.

His Right Honorable Lord Lordship the Lordly

They would resume play from where it was left off, it happened in the 2008 World Series.

Horatio Cornblower

They track the storms on radar and have a good idea how long a delay will be. Anything more than 2 hours at this point, I’m guessing, they’ll suspend it and reconvene tomorrow.

Senor Weaselo

Then there were the days they could tie because no lights… last tied World Series game was 1922.

Spur

When is a rain delay called?

LemonJello

After the next six outs.

Senor Weaselo

And it’s starting to rain… yup, this is the last week of our lives.
http://imgur.com/7drHiqr

Gratliff

It’s not raining. God’s just getting wet from all this schadenfreude.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’d say banner worthy but all karma focused on Heyward

Doktor Zymm

I wonder what people from the twenties would think about the fact that baseball players now chew gum. A thing that was invented so kids could pretend they were chewing tobacco like ball players did.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Let’s see Allen hit four consecutive batters with pitches