Your “Merciful Heaven, It’s A Game 7!” Wednesday Night Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Norv news! Norv Turner resigned from the Vikings this morning. No reason has officially been given, so speculate away!
  • Wade Phillips is back at work.
  • The PA may be pushing the NFL to tolerate Mary Jane as an alternative to chemical painkillers, especially if/once Proposition 64 passes in California,
    • There are marijuana ballot initiatives in other NFL-friendly states like Arizona, Florida, Massachusetts & Nevada.
      •  Adding in Colorado & Washington, that’s 6 states with (currently) 10 franchises.
    • If they look to licence official suppliers, they don’t need to go further than Ricky Williams, blunt brother #1.
  • It’ll be the Nick Foles show for the Chiefs versus the Jaguras this week, as Alex Smith’s 13 concussions last Sunday will have him on the sidelines.
  • Seriously, Tom Brady – shut the fuck up!
  • Should have shut up sooner? Brian Baldinger, who has been suspended by NFL Network for 6 months for advocating the Eagles put a bounty on Ezekiel Elliott

    He swears he won't do it again.
    He swears he won’t do it again. Scout’s honor.

There’s nothing more fun, or nerve-wracking, than a Game 7 for the championship. (Or, y’know, the Super Bowl.) Add in whatever historical factoids that give extra weight/incentive to a team and a fanbase, and you’ve got instant ratings.

I’ve been fortunate enough to have been to  three NFC Championship games and one NHL Stanley Cup Game 7 in my lifetime. The NFC championships were:

  • 2007 – Giants at Green Bay
  • 2013 – Niners at Seahawks
  • 2014 – Packers at Seahawks

Each one was fantastic in their own way. Giants-Packers was going to be on “the frozen tundra”. I spent the night before trying to drink Titletown Brewing dry. The game ended the way most Favre seasons did – with an interception leading to the other team’s winning field goal, followed by 6 months of retirement rumours.

Plus, I got to see a guy wearing a deer.

Having grown up a Packers fan – yes, I have one of those shares; the Seahawks didn’t exist until 1976 – it was bittersweet, because I thrilled at the fact of going to my first Lambeau game but cheated that I wasn’t rewarded for having spent all that money to get there. I’d like to think it would’ve felt the same had I lived there.

The Niners-Seahawks was great from both a season ticket-holder perspective and a fan’s perspective. Having gotten my season’s tickets in 2010, I hadn’t been there for long, but had been there for the whole Pete Carroll era, and it seemed like the culmination of an actual plan, something fans rarely see work through to fruition. My wife didn’t cotton to all the “FUCK THE NINERS!” yells and chants, but the celebration at the end was a sports feeling I’d never had.

She's got a valid opinion on this as well.
She’s got a valid opinion on this as well.

The 2014 game, therefore, was full of mixed emotions: Packers fan but Seahawks season ticket-holder. It was one of those situations where I had two dogs in the fight, so I couldn’t lose. But a significant part of my sports fandom wanted a different outcome, even though Mike McCarthy’s goal-line decision-making in that game eerily foreshadowed the circumstances of Super Bowl 49.

The 2011 Stanley Cup Game 7 had the same circumstance. Growing up as a kid, and Atom-level hockey player, I wanted to be a Bruin, either Bobby Orr or Gerry Cheevers. I had their cards, posters and knock-off jerseys. I suffered them losing to the Habs and the Oilers, and then losing Ray Bourque to the Avs, so he could finally win one. I know the Red Sox had a longer drought, but as I’ve often said – I don’t give a crap about the Red Sox.

I grew up in Vancouver. The Canucks have been a consistently bad franchise for most of their 46 years, so the few triumphs really stick out in people’s minds. (And, unfortunately, turn casual fans into complete assholes – Patriots fans, but without any trophies.) I became a Bruins fan partly because my younger hockey-playing self needed a hero, and there wasn’t one locally. Both the 1982 and 1994 Cup Finals teams were unexpected surprises, which made cheering for them fun. The 2011 team was expected to make the Finals, so that was different.

Once again, the 2011 Game 7 was a case of having two dogs in the fight.

I got what I wanted, and took its picture too.

Given that the youngest curse ending tonight is 78 years, expect lots of interviews with old people just before the meteor hits.

“CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN!…Ahh, shit…”

Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB: Game 7 – Chicago at Cleveland – 8:00 | FOX/Sportsnet
  • College Football: Toledo at Akron – 7:30 PM | ESPN2
  • NBA Basketball:
    • Raptors at Wizards – 7:00 | TSN
    • Bulls at Celtics – 8:00 PM | ESPN
    • Thunder at Clippers – 10:30 PM | ESPN/TSN
  • NHL Hockey:
    • Canucks at Canadiens – 7:30 | Sportsnet1/360
    • Red Wings at Flyers – 8:00 PM | NBCSN
    • Penguins at Ducks – 10:30 | Sportsnet1/360

I have friends who support both teams, so I want a good game. DON’T BE A BLOWOUT!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’ve been kinda rooting for Cleveland, but the LeBron schadenfreude is going to be well worth it.

WCS

comment image

Duchess

This damn game… what could be worse? the huge storm comes rolling in for a 3 hour delay

Horatio Cornblower

Maddon’s running out there to put his case closer, Aroldis Chapman in the game for the series clinching out.

Boy is he gonna be surprised.

Doktor Zymm

Edwards : apparently a belly itcher

Sep

Carl Edwards Jr Burger from Hardee’s

Horatio Cornblower

Hardee’s? More like HARDLY able to finish this game amirite?

Brick Meathook

Edwards had fear in his eyes throughout the Davis at-bat.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuck you, NL, for losing the All Star Game. I’d like to see Francona have to manage his lineup tonight with pitchers in it.

blackroseMD1

I don’t know if I have enough beer for this.

The Maestro

Cubs fans: breathe. Breathe slowly, and deeply.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I don’t get as much nitrous that way

Sep

I see you fine people stayed up for “The Maddoning”

Senor Weaselo

Of course.

Spur

You think Edwards just remembered that he’s one out away from winning a World Series with the Cubs?

Doktor Zymm

If the pitcher scratches his balls, is that the signal to throw outside the box?

Brick Meathook

IT IS FOR ME

Redshirt

If Davis does it again, I may hear the cheers all the way here in Cincy.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh Jesus.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Carl Edwards is a few minutes away from a lifetime of pussy and hero worship OR becoming the black Steve Bartman

Redshirt

Cubs: “One out away! Nothing can stop us!”
Gabriel’s trumps sounds
Jesus: “I am God and I have returned.”
Everyone runs to Jesus in worship.
Cubs: “Of course.”

Doktor Zymm

I will go to the gym tomorrow at ass early in the morning. What are the odds it’s just me and the Ozzie couple who don’t know how baseball works?

Horatio Cornblower

Christ how many Cubs fans are in the stadium?

Has Cleveland no soHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Oh man. I almost finished that thought too.

Old School Zero

ONE

Doktor Zymm

So, I’m used to the football sexual innuendos, but “ready to erupt,” while not baseball specific, is a new one

Spur

Will Zeus send his thunder to delay this game again?

Old School Zero

TWO

Horatio Cornblower

Carl Edwards Jr.?

The Maestro

Here. We. Fuckin’. Go.

Spur

The ultimate moment of truth is finally upon us

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I think you are mistaken, there will be 2 runs given up in the bottom half of this inning. God won’t allow either team to win

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Carl Edwards Jr looks like a less athletic Dave Chappelle

Old School Zero

AND NOW, THE CLASSIC FILM HEIDI!

Doktor Zymm

Someone just went ‘woooooo’ prematurely…..they have meds for this I think?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Was his name “Ronnie”?

Senor Weaselo
Horatio Cornblower

Frozen is a goddamn documentary compared to Pitch.

Old School Zero

Just three outs. JUST THREE OUTS, GODDAMNIT!

Redshirt

Joe Maddon to his Bullpen:

“Now I know I spent the entire playoffs telling each and everyone one you that ‘You all suck and I’m riding that Cuban Missile to the Promised Land’. But can you find it in your hearts to forget about all that and save this game for me?”

Doktor Zymm

It’s late, but even though it looks like everything is coming up Cubs, I know that sleep will change everything, just cause fate likes to fuck with people who sleep by making things stupidly surprising

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Good time here for a two strike bunt.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Somehow missed a pitch by 3 ft twice in one at bat. Go Cubs

The Maestro

I was out at my anniversary dinner, and got home just now. Seems like perfect timing, truly.

Spur

Hurry up and end this so I can go to bed.

Redshirt

I’m working on Tuesday so I’m posting this early for Hillary’s win.

MFW Hillary’s bragging about beating Donald Trump

http://s2.quickmeme.com/img/4d/4d7f52caecd51b22630112a12f8b33577ece6c075b7cab9792260e3adf2a8ab6.jpg

Senor Weaselo

These presidential ads I’m getting are about one step away from repeatedly flashing “nuclear holocaust”

blackroseMD1

The theme song for this election should be “Symphony of Destruction” by Megadeth.

Doktor Zymm

Hah! They have a camera in Murphey’s!

Spur

that lady is getting real friendly at Murphy’s Bleachers.

Doktor Zymm

My main non-baseball related memory of Murphys is a guy saying goodbye to me and then saying a separate goodbye to my tits. My main baseball memory is selling the free breast cancer awareness shirt I got with entry to the game to a lady who gave the shirt to her breast cancer survivor relative for $10. That second one was way better than the first.

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus there are going to be so many brain-damaged kids with flipper hands and feet born in the Greater Chicago area.

Senor Weaselo
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Btw, this was the best tweet of the rain delay:

https://twitter.com/pattonoswalt/status/794028600852881408

blackroseMD1

Patton Oswalt is a goddamn treasure.

ThePirateSloth

Did the Cubs just call up someone’s little brother to close this game?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The Golden State Warriors have to be happy right now!

Doktor Zymm

So…it’s like, SUPER RACIST, if I say that Cleveland is Indiansing this up, right?

Horatio Cornblower

Rizzo is going to pull a ‘Scanners’ if this game goes much longer.

https://youtu.be/pjnZO5ZgWE8

Senor Weaselo

If Chapman goes out for the 10th they start rioting on principle of “Why is he out there,” right?

Horatio Cornblower

If Chapman goes out for the 10th Maddon will be shot and killed the moment he sets foot out of the clubhouse.

blackroseMD1

I’m not a fan of either team, but I’d riot just on principal.

ThePirateSloth

I know the strategy of it, but fuck do I hate loading the bases like this.

Spur

Bold strategy to load em up..