I’d like to be the 37,000th person on the interbutt to congratulate the Tom-est of Bradys on his new stupid record. If only I knew that the key to future riches was to abandon someone that you knocked up. I’ll file this under “Lesson Learned”. TO THE GAME!
CAR/Sea-As far as I’m concerned, Seattle wants this way more than a Panthers team that is licking its self-inflicted wounds and gearing up for next year. I’d also like to take this time to say that the winner of the Cowboys/Seahawks NFC Championship game will vanquish the Pats in the Super Bowl.
LET’S DO THIS THING!!!
“I Win My Way” — Cam’s cleats.
Hence the bench.
How do these kids make it through the city without getting jacked for all this pretty equipment?
Seahawks score
http://24.media.tumblr.com/51ba17e0bb1a2fbce34b6c3322e4162b/tumblr_mr8zdhEHZ21rtjgzjo1_400.gif
No fair! You can’t just post a gif of this legendary scene.
Methinks Riverboat’s little gambit didn’t quite have the desired effect.
Man, that defense opened up like they were Luke Kuechly’s tear ducts mid-concussion
Brothers, how you doin?
http://37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_md4s1mbrKf1rx9233o1_r1_500.gif
Ok, now Derek Anderson should get a few plays in lieu of the Charmslinger
Benching Cam Newton for a play was actually a brilliant tactic by Rivera to distract Pete Carroll. Right now, Carroll is too busy trying to figure out how the Illuminati fit in to this.
I’m guessing he was taking a shit or something.
Why let Anderson do that on the field, though?
Theory: Derek Anderson was diagnosed with terminal shoulder cancer…used his Make-A-Wish connections to get one last start.
Regarding Westworld…are sexbots really the future of women?
Gamergate guys sure hope so. It’s their only hope and their forearms can’t take much more.
Good job Panthers D. I’ve decided to root for the glory boy
http://media.giphy.com/media/LbKXxea2jx8XK/giphy.gif
Every game is CRAZIER than the last in Cris Collinsworth’s world.
The technical football term is WEIRDSVILLE -PK
Will never be done without cgi again. Beautiful.
Horse balls…fading
See Derek Anderson start.
See Derek Anderson get picked off.
We’ve secretly replaced the Panthers with the Jaguras…let’s see if anybody notices?
Hahahahaha what in fucking fuck?
Holy shit, Horseballs.
Out-the-fuck-smarted themselves, didn’t they?
http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lujdckf2vt1qc1u27o3_500.png
btw, did you fuckers know that Michelle Tafoya is 51 years old? I would not have guessed that.
Has good income and is out of town a lot; would bang.
ALWAYS ROOT FOR THE BULL
http://www.denofgeek.com/us/tv/mst3k/260279/lost-mst3k-episodes-released
Tuning out for a while so I can properly prepare for the season finale of ‘Westworld’
No, I am not jerking off to old Lone Ranger comments you freak.
/kicks sticky comic book under bed
http://68.media.tumblr.com/9b7f38ab4de3c38ed0e45de88360dfb3/tumblr_ohbk9gQDzH1uofr2ko7_r1_540.gif
http://68.media.tumblr.com/000f8a0684b0e7a0879e4481a8572c86/tumblr_o0mx6y1VFK1qfvrzvo2_1280.jpg
Yes peas.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/6c9f7a28a289ffa56c72c91bc4979b37/tumblr_ock16rotOx1vd847xo5_r1_400.gif
Here we go boys. Legs and awkward Eli
http://68.media.tumblr.com/a07404668c2c43c6f7505ed13460f61e/tumblr_oh4tnddzRy1sbbfwho2_1280.jpg
I took Carolina +7.
I am an idiot.
Uh oh, me too.
KC/ATL looks like it was a good game
http://68.media.tumblr.com/760d8cf02183c21971ffc419b1724610/tumblr_ohevwlQK0z1ug1jt4o1_400.gif
Nope, nope, nothing to worry about; we’re fine. Let’s have a picnic.
Two points?
-1 ball
Someone said Manos?
Again my favorite from this year
s.com/zmBjgif05.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/b3009184e83e2a5038557ebaeaad6c0e/tumblr_oh9pl6gT2f1qzn0kbo1_1280.png
So who has 2 thumbs, is currently sitting in a dark house without power, and doesn’t want to waste data and his phone battery watching stuff on his phone?
This guy right here.
I commend your commitment to dick jokery.
You see me when the phone battery finally dies.
Thowing a tug-of-war rope at the shih tzu and yelling IS THAT A CATCH?!?!? would be weird under any other circumstance.
I don’t know which team I want to lose more.
For standings reasons I’d think you’d be rooting for the Panthers.
And for Pete Carroll-reasons you should be rooting for the Panthers.
It’s tight, but there should be no doubt it is Seahawks schadenfreude you crave most
All of a sudden your picture went from regular to slightly large to huge. I am now discombobulated.
I hate the other evil teams so much that I just can’t bring myself to hate the teams that have a realistic chance of knocking green bay out of the playoffs.
Oh, Internet Friends, can I vent a little impotent rage prior to tonight’s game? What’s that? As long as I don’t spill your booze? What kind of animal do you take me for?
This weekend has been a roller coaster for House LemonJello. OrangeJello played her last club soccer tournament (mixed emotions). She scored the first (and only) goal of the first game that ended in a 1-1 tie (that’s good). Her team won her age bracket, going 3-0-1 over the weekend (another good). However, Lady LemonJello had her car broken into and both of our credit cards stolen (that’s a big bad). Fortunately, the assholes tried to go big off the bat and their $3000 Best Buy spree flagged to my phone, so that was nipped in the bud. Just to be safe, we killed the other account before any damage was done, but the Lady of the house was beside herself, thinking at first that she had lost her cards while shopping.
I know it’s immature and worthless, but I wish thieves would have their bodies abraded by coarse sandpaper and then alternately dipped in rubbing alcohol and rolled in salt. One cycle of this for each dollar stolen doesn’t seem to be asking too much, does it?
We now return you to the regularly scheduled programming.
I approve of your punishment methods, less so about why they’re necessary because that absolutely sucks.
What really pissed me off was how my wife was blaming herself for losing her cards before we put it all together. They didn’t take her whole wallet, just the two cards – left her ID and the bank/ATM cards, I guess they figured it wouldn’t be as noticed if just the two cards went missing.
Fucking thieves.
Mr. and Mrs. Jello, your insurance company regrets to inform you that your losses due to this event are not covered by your current policy. Please note that your premiums will be increasing by 47% this year due to the fact that you filed a claim.
I figure our APR will go up on both cards to cover the fraud.
The customer support for both cards was top notch, though. Accounts closed out and new cards being issued with minimal fuss.
Brokedick Mountain.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/e6bd5a7fe5e9cb43219178f3e7afd13e/tumblr_ohffx5JHqD1thfe8uo1_1280.jpg
Later that evening-
“Honey, you’ve got a piece of spinach on your teeth.’
“That’s not spinach”
Pete Carroll: punchable face or MOST punchable face?
Homemade dinner rolls nearly done, chili finishing. MST3K is on and it’s MANOS Hands of Fate! Stand aside Milhouse, today is my day.
Torgo!
Cowboys clinch and the rest of the NFC East loses, can this day get any better?
It would have been fun to see the P*ts lose, but ‘ya can’t have everything.
Folks
Eagles: LOSE!
Slurs: LOSE!
Eli and his Unicorns: LOSE!
‘Muricas Team: WIN! (What’s a little hands in the face among friends?)
Great day to be a Texan if it wasn’t for that Jerry Jones selling his soul at the crossroads business.
Welp, the Chargers Chargered and all my fantasy games are decided, so I think I’m done with football for today.
I’m gonna go get drunk and play video games. Later gentlemen.
Try BF1 yet? Actually worth the hype and I’m not a big gamer.
I play on PC. Love it. Play with a nice mature group. Bolt action with no IR/night vision.
I haven’t. Waiting on it to go on a sale, as that’s not usually my genre. I keep hearing good things, though, so I’ll probably pick it up.
Falcons and Buccaneers… one of these teams will be in the playoffs.
Really.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/82cad2fc531d82d6001ca7496d1efe14/tumblr_inline_oh9vztrU9u1tqvtl9_500.jpg
1. Every night while you sleep, your skeleton leaves your body. Science doesn’t know where it goes, but they know it has a good time.
2. Your skeleton is comprised of one huge bone, which has been broken into 206 individual pieces by a careless relative.
3. Skeletons are afraid of everything, and yours is no exception.
4. If you put your skeleton in a room with a whale skeleton, nothing happens.
5. Your skeleton owes us approximately $5,000 U.S.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/531ee0810ebe94ba262c0dce8185c98a/tumblr_ohkty51Y7K1rt4qw5o1_1280.jpg
Now this is something I can enjoy.
The schadenfreude is almost worth the nukes China is gonna gift us shortly
I asked my cellist friend if we should all just stay there in China. She had the same thought.
Friends don’t let friends play the cello.
Hong Kong is part of China and everyone I know has said it’s fucking awesome.
I see this on Twitter all the time, with Clinton supporters saying not to take joy in this kind of thing.
Fuck. That.
Oh, you voted for Trump and now you don’t have health insurance to help with all your morbid obesity related illnesses? Good. Fuck you.
Oh, you voted for Trump and now you don’t have a house because he undid Dodd-Frank and now it’s easier for banks to repo your home? Good. Fuck you.
Oh, you voted for Trump and now you don’t have a job because he got in a trade war with China and it turns out your manufacturing job depended on cheap components from China? Good. Fuck you.
Oh, you voted for Trump and now you don’t have a spouse because they’re deployed to the Middle East because Trump picked Mike Flynn as his Director on Intelligence and he’s a paranoid nut job? Good. Fuck you.
Because you, my special little snowflake, deserve every bit of this. You were so concerned about your identity as an oppressed white male, (or female), that you didn’t stop to consider for even a minute that if you can’t make it in this country as a straight white male it’s probably mostly your fault. And you never read anything that challenged that position, or that would make it clear that a Mexican didn’t take you job at the plant, a robot did.
And FYI? That robot isn’t getting laid off on 1/20/17 and you’re not getting your job back. And once again I say: Good. Fuck you.
Because you were warned dipshit. You were told, over and over, that Trump wasn’t qualified, was lying, and doesn’t have your best, (or indeed any), interests in mind. And you reacted to that by calling anyone that read a newspaper or a book “elite”, or “intellectual”, like either was a bad thing, and said you and your fuckwad friends knew better, because you watch ‘Infowars’ while sitting on your ample ass down at Joe’s Pub, the only functioning business in your town of 324 people and 3,240 cattle, all of which are grazing on federal land at heavily subsidized prices, if your deadbeats even pay at all.
So yeah, for every bad thing that happens to you and your ilk from now until 2020 I will say: Good. Fuck you.
You reap the whirlwind you sowed you fuckers, and you think about this every goddamn minute you do.
God damn you fucker; WELL SAID.
Thanks Moose. Felt good to let fly with that.
The problem is that I have not heard a single conservative admit any wrongdoing of any conservative in the past 20 years, ignoring proven sociopaths.
That is ONE problem of the many, albeit a big one.
The conservative didn’t put Trump in office. Low information voters like Jane Homeless up there did. True conservatives, while loathsome, didn’t trust Trump and while they surely voted for him it was the idiots in small town Rust Belt states that fucked us.
I could also go on a rant on the low turnout among minority groups, or 30% of Hispanic/Latino voters going for Trump but fuck it. I’m an upper-middle class straight white male. Assuming I can get rid of my conscience the next four years are going to be biscuits and gravy for THIS GUY.
/jams both thumbs in eyes
http://a.fod4.com/images/GifGuide/clapping/1292223254212-dumpfm-mario-Obamaclap.gif
Sounds like you follow the wrong people on Twitter.
/checks to see if followed by Horatio