As you are aware if you read last week’s Quotables, I am your substitute teacher, Balls, Mr. ofSteelandFury if you will, and I am here to…
WHO THREW THAT SPITBALL??
As I was saying, we will have a…
DID YOU FART, MR. OfSpam?
Ok, now as I was OH GOOD GOD MAN WHAT DID YOU EAT?
So, I read Blax’ instructions to me from the previous week to the letter and, let me tell you kids, I’m about as confused as the first time I tried fingering a girl and she said, “Um, whatcha doing down there?” I replied, with a big smile, “Uh, trying to pleasure you!”
“Were you TRYING to finger my asshole?”
Anyhoo, I hope you’re ready for me cuz here goes my finger boldly going where only half my HS class has gone:
Have I mentioned that I love this Raider team?
And now for something completely different. You all can blame Blax for teaching me how to create gifs:
Maybe Don T will recognize these. Olmedo and Porcel were fucking hilarious. Class, please remember to thank Blax for showing me how to create GIFs!
One more before we get back to the NFL:
Back to the footy:
There is so much to unwrap in this one:
I shouldn’t say this as a Steelers fan, but I do love me some Justin Tucker:
And now for some shenanigans:
This one probably shouldn’t count because the team doesn’t exist, but:
Alls I know is you guys better come up with something really good for this:
Please feel free to submit captions for the movie gifs. That would be for extra credit. Yes, I’m looking at you Mr. Seamus! Extra extra credit for anyone other than Don T that can name the movies.
Have at it, heathens, pervs, countrymen and women!
King dance: “IT’S A PENALTY ON THE GROUND… I’M NOT A PART OF YOUR SYSTEM.”
Suggs: “Draw me like one of your French girls.”
http://68.media.tumblr.com/7464b7d130c47e9f0ad40c6a41825ab7/tumblr_oec9ugseBB1re6rxdo3_400.gif
“The flag on the field is for unsportsmanlike conduct, aggressive dryhumping, #77 of the officiating crew. Loss of lunch, repeat third down.”
McCarthy: Man that’s disturbingly similar to that video Aaron showed me about the dude and the glass cup.
“Yep…the center’s a quart low.”
That’s how I celebrated losing my virginity.
(The penalty flag was the used condom.)
(There was no second encounter.)
“DID YOU FART, MR. OfSpam?
Ok, now as I was OH GOOD GOD MAN WHAT DID YOU EAT?”
Your mom.
For the “Three possible reactions”:
marry
F*ck
Kill
* long time reader, first time commenter, please go easy.
“Did somebody say ‘dogpile’?”
–Mike Vick
Well, I’m pretty confident this is Sgt. Aguado, so I’ll go with Ace Ventura, Pet Detective
Guess Coach Garrett isn’t the only fire crotch on the Cowboys this week
SUGGS: “We always hang in a Buffalo Stance…”
Neneh Cherry was my fashion inspiration throughout college.
My college experience was not good.
GOLDEN TATE: Hey, let’s play “President”. I’ll be Hillary, you be Trump.
Some context for Marquette King’s little dance and the “decline” motion – he had just kicked a 68 yard punt.
And that’s just as far as the end zone – it actually rolled another ten yards through and then hit the wall below the stands.
Looks like someone has another Raiderection.
Well, 48 net. Well, 33 with the penalty.
Is he still talking about his Raiderection?
Ray said this is how you stay under Goodell’s radar.
Cowboys: Jason Witten has started to take all of those jokes about sending him to the glue factory a little too seriously.
Belichick: “Let fake Patricia call the defense? What the hell, we’re only playing the Rams.”
“I hope the rationing never ends. ¡Malvinas argentinas!”
Two guesses as to where the lime is….
And that, my friend, is why I never had the motivation to research ED drugs.
Witten: I’ve played 14 seasons in the NFL and caught over 1,000 passes, for the right to wear THIS.
Kid: My mom got mine for me at RiverdanceShop.com
And here we have the Valedictorian of the Michael Vick school of dog fighting!
“I decry objectification. Please recignize the personality, aspirations, and depth of this ass”.
“Being a Goddamned National Disgrace; Roger Goodell. 15 yards from the spot of the foul, automatic first down.”
*Sigh* “I wish ‘number 12 on the field (but number 1 in my heart)’ would touch me like that.” *Long Sigh*
“Chipotle as pre-game meal was a bad decision.”
“I call this ‘George the Animal Steele meets the Junkyard Dog’. It drives the Baltimore ladies wild!”
“I haven’t been in a pile of sweaty men like this since…I’ve shared too much, haven’t I?”
“An ass like that? I’d smack it up, flip it, rub it down, OH NOOOOOO!”
“That…doesn’t look right. Wait, am I in Thailand again?”
“It’s either melanoma or the Channel 11 logo”
“Selling my soul to SHAN’KHOR was the smartest deal I’ve ever made.”
oh winner winner, LemonJello Dinner!!
This is not what Westworld promised me. Fucking cheaters.
“Rump roast has a different meaning for those people than it does in ‘Murika!”
“Ya’ll know what I’m doing to the blonde back there after the game, right? Up top!”
I think Porcel had more leering looks than Eskimos words for snow.
“And that’s when Witten’s ass herpes flared up at the worst possible time.”
Disney’s First Kid, babY!
You can’t slide under the pile?!?! Clay Matthews is a lying whore!
McCarthy’s is the face of a man who has never pleased neither a man nor a woman
His wife concurs.