Quotables Week 13 Submissions – Balls Filling in Edition

As you are aware if you read last week’s Quotables, I am your substitute teacher, Balls, Mr. ofSteelandFury if you will, and I am here to…

WHO THREW THAT SPITBALL??

As I was saying, we will have a…

DID YOU FART, MR. OfSpam?

Ok, now as I was OH GOOD GOD MAN WHAT DID YOU EAT?

So, I read Blax’ instructions to me from the previous week to the letter and, let me tell you kids, I’m about as confused as the first time I tried fingering a girl and she said, “Um, whatcha doing down there?”  I replied, with a big smile, “Uh, trying to pleasure you!”

“Were you TRYING to finger my asshole?”

Anyhoo, I hope you’re ready for me cuz here goes my finger boldly going where only half my HS class has gone:

Jason Witten doing.... something?
Jason Witten doing…. something?

Have I mentioned that I love this Raider team?

Coolest punter in the league
Coolest punter in the league

And now for something completely different.  You all can blame Blax for teaching me how to create gifs:

No se preocupe doctor, le voy a dar un JERINGAZO!

Maybe Don T will recognize these.  Olmedo and Porcel were fucking hilarious.  Class, please remember to thank Blax for showing me how to create GIFs!

DFO Headquarters, may I help you?
DFO Headquarters, may I help you?

One more before we get back to the NFL:

Has Balls done this IRL? You betcha!

Back to the footy:

Ref gets in on the dogpile action
Ref gets in on the dogpile action

There is so much to unwrap in this one:

Three possible reactions here.
Three possible reactions here.

I shouldn’t say this as a Steelers fan, but I do love me some Justin Tucker:

How do you do?
How do you do?

And now for some shenanigans:

Clearly, Bellichick is one step ahead of all of us
Clearly, Bellichick is one step ahead of all of us

This one probably shouldn’t count because the team doesn’t exist, but:

Griffin getting a TD, a reach-around, some butt stuff, and Mike McCarthy's reaction.
Griffin getting a TD, a reach-around, some butt stuff, and Mike McCarthy’s reaction.

Alls I know is you guys better come up with something really good for this:

Suggs on all fours
Suggs on all fours

Please feel free to submit captions for the movie gifs.  That would be for extra credit.  Yes, I’m looking at you Mr. Seamus! Extra extra credit for anyone other than Don T that can name the movies.

Have at it, heathens, pervs, countrymen and women!

ballsofsteelandfury

ballsofsteelandfury

International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.
ballsofsteelandfury

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Senor Weaselo
Member

King dance: “IT’S A PENALTY ON THE GROUND… I’M NOT A PART OF YOUR SYSTEM.”
Suggs: “Draw me like one of your French girls.”

JerBear50
Member
JerBear50

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“The flag on the field is for unsportsmanlike conduct, aggressive dryhumping, #77 of the officiating crew. Loss of lunch, repeat third down.”

Curse of Marino
Member
Curse of Marino

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McCarthy: Man that’s disturbingly similar to that video Aaron showed me about the dude and the glass cup.

SonOfSpam
Member

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“Yep…the center’s a quart low.”

SonOfSpam
Member

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That’s how I celebrated losing my virginity.
(The penalty flag was the used condom.)
(There was no second encounter.)

SonOfSpam
Member

“DID YOU FART, MR. OfSpam?

Ok, now as I was OH GOOD GOD MAN WHAT DID YOU EAT?”

Your mom.

Game Time Decision
Member
Game Time Decision

For the “Three possible reactions”:
marry
F*ck
Kill

* long time reader, first time commenter, please go easy.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

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“Did somebody say ‘dogpile’?”
–Mike Vick

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

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Well, I’m pretty confident this is Sgt. Aguado, so I’ll go with Ace Ventura, Pet Detective

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

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Guess Coach Garrett isn’t the only fire crotch on the Cowboys this week

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

SUGGS: “We always hang in a Buffalo Stance…”

SonOfSpam
Member

Neneh Cherry was my fashion inspiration throughout college.

My college experience was not good.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

GOLDEN TATE: Hey, let’s play “President”. I’ll be Hillary, you be Trump.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Some context for Marquette King’s little dance and the “decline” motion – he had just kicked a 68 yard punt.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

And that’s just as far as the end zone – it actually rolled another ten yards through and then hit the wall below the stands.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Looks like someone has another Raiderection.

SonOfSpam
Member

Well, 48 net. Well, 33 with the penalty.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Is he still talking about his Raiderection?

Beerguyrob
Member

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Ray said this is how you stay under Goodell’s radar.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Cowboys: Jason Witten has started to take all of those jokes about sending him to the glue factory a little too seriously.

monty this seems strange to me
Member

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Belichick: “Let fake Patricia call the defense? What the hell, we’re only playing the Rams.”

Don T
Member

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“I hope the rationing never ends. ¡Malvinas argentinas!”

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

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Two guesses as to where the lime is….

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

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And that, my friend, is why I never had the motivation to research ED drugs.

monty this seems strange to me
Member

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Witten: I’ve played 14 seasons in the NFL and caught over 1,000 passes, for the right to wear THIS.

Kid: My mom got mine for me at RiverdanceShop.com

ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

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And here we have the Valedictorian of the Michael Vick school of dog fighting!

Don T
Member

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“I decry objectification. Please recignize the personality, aspirations, and depth of this ass”.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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“Being a Goddamned National Disgrace; Roger Goodell. 15 yards from the spot of the foul, automatic first down.”

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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*Sigh* “I wish ‘number 12 on the field (but number 1 in my heart)’ would touch me like that.” *Long Sigh*

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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“Chipotle as pre-game meal was a bad decision.”

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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“I call this ‘George the Animal Steele meets the Junkyard Dog’. It drives the Baltimore ladies wild!”

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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“I haven’t been in a pile of sweaty men like this since…I’ve shared too much, haven’t I?”

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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“An ass like that? I’d smack it up, flip it, rub it down, OH NOOOOOO!”

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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“That…doesn’t look right. Wait, am I in Thailand again?”

Don T
Member

“It’s either melanoma or the Channel 11 logo”

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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“Selling my soul to SHAN’KHOR was the smartest deal I’ve ever made.”

King Hippo
Member

oh winner winner, LemonJello Dinner!!

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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This is not what Westworld promised me. Fucking cheaters.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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“Rump roast has a different meaning for those people than it does in ‘Murika!”

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

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“Ya’ll know what I’m doing to the blonde back there after the game, right? Up top!”

Don T
Member

I think Porcel had more leering looks than Eskimos words for snow.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

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“And that’s when Witten’s ass herpes flared up at the worst possible time.”

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris
Member

Disney’s First Kid, babY!

Sharkbait
Member
Sharkbait

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You can’t slide under the pile?!?! Clay Matthews is a lying whore!

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

McCarthy’s is the face of a man who has never pleased neither a man nor a woman

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

His wife concurs.

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