TGISF…aka “Last Second Re-Tread and also Merry New Year!!!!!” Sexy Friday Open Thread

Beef Jerky Time!!!!   There’s plenty, you know.

I’m sorry folks.  Sincerely.  This week….Thank God It’s Sexy Friday is going to suck.  And I don’t mean just a little bit of suck.  It’s going to suck badly.  I mean like, if I got paid anything around here, this one would warrant getting my pay docked for like 3 years.

We actually had what I thought would be a good diversion this week.  But I’ve been overruled by one of the participants.  There were only two participants, btw.  I was one.  At the moment I’ve been asked not to say anything more than that.  My apologies.

But bottom line, the majority of our regularly scheduled post got canned.  Hopefully not permanently….we’ll see.  I’ll get back to you on that.

But for now, I have to shelve most of it and rewrite it.

Honestly my heart is not in it as far as this last minute rewrite.  No shit.

Frankly, I’m tired of getting punched in the sack, and then having to say “thank you”.

But tired of it or not, I do seem to have become somewhat accomplished at it.

dick-punch

Son of a bitch

Normally right now (looks at clock to make sure….right now is….10:48am eastern, Friday morning) I would have this article finished.  Most of it would have been a wrap days ago.   I might proofread it one last time when I awakeded, gently on a Friday morn, as I so often do.  But mostly it’s done days ago.

But not this week.  Nope.  This week, I WAS done.  But now I have to scrap it all.  All of it.  Seriously…every damned word.  I just proofread thru it.  Can’t use any of it.

I am NOT happy.  Fuck you, Dak Prescott.

And you too, Alex Smith.

YES I KNOW THOSE JOKES WON’T MAKE SENSE AT THIS POINT BUT TRUST ME THEY’RE FUNNY.

Seriously….you’d all be laughing right now if I could, you know…….tell you why.  Just ask ballsofsteel, he’ll back me up.

OK, seriously, I’m out of lube

This one’s going in as is.

Are you aware there are too many college bowl games?  Right now, as I’m typing, The University of Georgia is facing off against Texas Christian University in something called the Autozone Liberty Bowl.  There should not be a thing called the Autozone Liberty Bowl.  Full Disclosure….I’m a UGa fan and I’m still appalled.  Even Fuller Disclosure….my alma mater just got done playing in the Camping World Independence Bowl.

CAMPING WORLD INDEPENDENCE BOWL FOR CRIPES SAKE!!!!!!!!

We Wolven sort are a proud lot, lemme tell ya.

Wait, where was I?  Oh yeah, too many bowl games.

Girls of the SEC

A few yrs ago, my alma mater, NC State University……toyed with the idea of shifting from the ACC to the SEC.  Now when I say “toyed”, I mean we were too scared to make the jump and instead agreed to an even huger buyout from the ACC which was the stupidest thing ever and now we could never make the jump even if we ever did get leadership which could think outside the box.  Also that was a horrid run on sentence.  But I expect backup from KingHippo on this particular point.  I will be totes disappoint if he doesn’t chime in on this subject…hint, hint, hintity hint.

But trust me, we’d have taken our lumps for a few years shifting in with the Lesser Footy Big Boys.  We’d have taken some poundings to be sure.

But eventually?  We’d have been the one dishing the poundings.

How about we start with getting pounded by LSU?

lsu
Goddamn!!!!!!  Nice start with LSU.  Getting my “boots” fetish out of the way early. Yes, leave them on….yes I like this girl.

 

The internet says that this girl is a Bama fan.  No????  Oh well, who cares…..

allegedbamafan
I’m sorry, I think this is just a chick in a red bikini. No, no….it’s OK, I just don’t see proof of Bama is all.  Meh, no matter.

 

Don’t worry about it…hot chick in a bikini works just fine.

OK, so who’s next?

Again, I don’t know who the heck she’s a fan of.

Ok….she’s hot so it’s OK.

dunnobut-hot
Allegedly hot Auburn fan. I mean she’s obviously hot, not sure if she’s an Auburn fan tho. But I’m overruled as usual.

 

Arkansas Butterface……but that’s not a problem with this body.

arkansas
She might be a Two Bagger.

 

How about some Baylor girls?

wrong-conference
OMG….wrong conference….sheesh…aw who cares?…….something something date rape something something

 

 

How about some more LSU girls??

lsu2
Works for me.

 

Gators, sure we can have a good hate for them….

uf
Nice underboob, just saying.

 

You like UGa girls, right?

green-bay
Dear lord, that’s Green Bay.  But she’s hot tho, right? Yes fine, she’s hot. Wow, yes, she’s actually very damned hot.  She stays…green and yellow UGa fan.

 

See, now that’s UGa down there…..

 

uga2
UGa.  Uuuuuuuga.

 

D’awwwwwww…..so sad for Vandy.

vandy
That’s right…NC State!!! 41-17!!!! SHUT UP THEY ARE SO SEC SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP

 

I cannot figure out for certain who this girl is a fan of.  She came up in a “Girls of the SEC” image search.

 

yes
But I’m a fan.

 

More LSU?  MORE LSU!!!!!

lsu3
That is one over stressed bikini top.

 

Yeah, seems like that’s a good one to close out on.

CTE protocol upcoming for tWBS…I may or may not have taken a couple of blows to the head.

heyphrasing

 

Time for Equal Time Time

(the following were not tWBS‘ choices)

((also I’m not sure why I felt the need to make that statement))

8cbf16f456527a5a5c158f99efa868e0

 

15938883942_c6c6340e19_b

 

Oh yeah I forgot, LMFAO…it’s New Year’s this weekend……

graphics-happy-new-year-347832Screw you, 2016.

2017, try not to be as big a pain in my ass as 2016 and we’ll get along fine.

Damn I still owe you an original photo….

It’s from winter, not quite a year ago.  It’s entitled….  -Making Tracks-

making_tracks_by_wufpacker-d9p8sum
Little bird feet. Hehehehe.

Have a good New Years’, folks.  Be safe.

Love ya’s.

Decide what to be….and go be it.

Out of order Sports  (this would be much less confusing if I hadn’t re-written this whole post after putting sports down here this week, LOL)

Putting sports down here this week to try to be less confusing (IRONY!!!!)….even though that ship sailed a while ago I think.  There was some stuff I had to rectify from earlier which….you know what?  Never mind.

I promise we’ll be back to normal next week.  I’m feeling more sullen and hateful again already in fact so, no worries.

No Thursday Night NFL this week.  Yep, week 17 is Sunday across the board.

I guess I’ll have to find something else to bitch about.  Gimme a sec…..

COLLEGE BOWL GAMES……oh no wait, I already bitched about that….TCU/UGa….yeah.

Dang, I got nothing.  Time to add alcohol and see what happens.

Hockey is still happening, sort of.  CBJ is still kicking major ass of late.  Light slate tonight.

NBA still mostly sucks.  But they are playing.

College Basketball is preparing to shift to real games that actually matter.  That’s always daunting to NCSU fans….just saying (shameless NCSU plug to follow….)

But we do gotz, IMHO, the best frosh PG in the country…..

6. Dennis Smith, Jr., NC State

Last week: No. 7

18.9 PPG, 5.5 APG, 3.7 RPG, 1.8 steals, 48.6 2-pt%, 38.5 3-pt%, 114.3 ORtg

Smith had 23 points, six assists, four rebounds, three steals and two blocks in NC State’s 89-57 win over McNeese State last week. I’ve been saying it for a few weeks now: Smith is having the best season that nobody’s paying attention to. With ACC games on tap, that is sure to change in the next two weeks. Right now, he’s right on Josh Jackson’s heels for top-five status. Smith is a two-way player; if he can get his turnover rate down from 2.8 per game to about 2.0, the Wolfpack will become even more well-rounded.

OK, that’s it.  I have to go drink heavily and feel sorry for myself now.

Have a good week, ass dicks.

iwilleatyourbabiesbitch

Pssssst….next week I expect to be mobile, though I don’t know where just yet.

My point is you’re going to have guest Sexy next week.  Mr. Balls of Steel is taking the reigns for me next week.

No worries folks…..he’s as big a pervert as me.

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Barbara’s outfit may be somewhat impractical in certain situations, but I can not lie and say I don’t appreciate the aesthetic balance.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/f79689e2c7c0b78eeb831173419a9034/tumblr_oisbdm88Kx1s4p0huo1_1280.jpg

Beerguyrob

Sorry if I’m late to this dance, but the last 10 minutes of the Orange Bowl were ridiculous.

I quite enjoy a sad Harbaugh.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

comment image

Gratliff

The Spartacus series was a fine mixture of amazing women, and men who made me feel incredibly inadequate. An interesting take on history where every dong is unclipped, yet no pubic hair whatsoever.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/111245015f1367a0c620d1323a251071/tumblr_oaxj2iGxXg1tr6pz0o1_500.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Some of the writing could make you feel super-adequate..

Sharkbait

I heard good things about that series. Also that it’s pretty much softcore porn.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Katrina Law is worth watching the whole thing just for her…. IMO.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There were some merkins happing:

h

ttp://49.media.tumblr.com/170b99a3b235c91054f5fdb221d23088/tumblr_nmd0n5nRFO1u08gzyo1_r1_400.gif

Gratliff

Yay, I learned a new word

Redshirt

Thanks to work, I’ve missed all the helpings of football this bowl season. I plan to binge watch the next three days.

Sharkbait

“Missed”

Horatio Cornblower

On the one hand I hate FSU and think they’re probably the definition of evil.
On the other hand Harbaugh’s team is gonna blow this and that’s ALWAYS hilarious.

Horatio Cornblower

Me?

WCS

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sharkbait

Me: Can you get me an Imperial Walker for my birthday?

Mrs. Sharkbait: Where would we ever park one??

Me: Wherever the fuck we feel like it. That’s where.

Horatio Cornblower

Fuck that. Next thing you know two chipmunks on steroids slam a couple of logs into your brand new walker and you’re left with nothing but a heap of smoking scrap metal.

Croooow

Somehow, this game has become a lot more interesting.

Mr. Ayo

^^ This a very well crafted photo.
Seriously….huge props to whomever captured this.
comment image

WCS

comment image

Sharkbait
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We had an Eliza festival a few days ago and you were not there.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/13c6ddba70b9e77207df2daf42a0369a/tumblr_o0vr06RPVl1thej0ko1_500.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Sharkbait

Turned on Return of the Jedi. Why were the droids in the Star Wars universe programmed to feel pain?

comment image?w=590

WCS

All descendants of this poor bastard.

Sharkbait

Loved The Far Side.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

Despite Michigan’s dogged efforts to lose, Florida State is just as determined to blow this.

herodotus450

Michigan line of thinking:
“Our offense has sucked all game, we just scored a defensive touchdown. Let’s go for 2! With our offense.”

herodotus450

Like I’ve been saying all year, why is Ricky Jean Francois playing quarterback? I thought he was a d-lineman. And how does he still have eligibility left?

Sharkbait

Good evening

Harping on the “too many bowls” theme, I’m finding that helping set up my wife’s new phone is much more entertaining than whatever bowl is on right now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There is a cook for each bowl game.

Gratliff

Flyera coming on and Mac Miller slipped into my spotify radio a few minutes ago, so here’s a fun video from a few years back featuring Wayne Simmonds punching things and Jaromir Jagr’s inspiring final season before his retirement. Seriously, what a great season up until bullshit Boston bouncing back from the 3-0 series loss the year before, completely wiping the humiliation from everyone’s minds. I really liked th….

/fingers earpiece

Sorry, what? Still active? Are you sure? Did Chelios bite him during a fucking full moon or something? Sure. Whatever.

/Back to camera

Anyway, here’s some shit with Zombie Jagr returning to reclaim the NHL as his own.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rj3sksO2DU0

Gratliff

Correction, the Boston bullshit was the year prior. 2012 was the year of Flyers West.

WCS

What in the flying piss is this “halftime show”?!

WCS

ballsofsteelandfury

Michigan had a player with last name Butt and a player with the first name Taco.

Too bad their coach is Harbaugh. THey would otherwise be likable.

WCS

Taco?

ballsofsteelandfury

Taco.

comment image?w=400&c=1

Unsurprised

Twirling twirling twirling towards freedom.

Unsurprised

I’ve become so inured and hateful towards the SEC and south in general that I’d rather fuck all of those guys than any of those women.

ballsofsteelandfury

I honestly think I’m a bigger pervert than TWBS. I just have to abide by the DTZM rules. Stay tuned…

WCS

WCS

OH NO BUTT IS HURT

WCS

Everyone associated with Toyotathon commercials needs shot into Jupiter.

Mr. Ayo

Woah, woah. Leave Jan.

WCS

Apparently, Michigan has no desire to win this game whatsoever.

Mr. Ayo

They’re playing like butt

WCS
Croooow

I giggle like a moron every time I hear his name.

LemonJello

Watching Meeeeesssshigan v. FlaSt Semen-O’s, and hoping to see the meteor enter the screen at any moment…

laserguru

To continue the theme that JJ Fozz started earlier about memorable New Years Eve’s: most of them aren’t terribly memorable, lots of hallucinogens and many fell asleep before midnights but there were a few.
I saw the B-52’s and Red Hot Chili Peppers to ring in 1990 I think but my favorite was I’m gonna say 1984.
This was during my University of World days in between junior college and finishing my degree and I was driving cab.
I used to make a shitload of money on New Year’s back then.
One of my fairly regular passengers was a sultry red head lass who was probably 10 years older than I was.
Damn she was fine as fuck.
I assumed she was married because she lived in a nice house and chicks like this are always married right?

I pick her up as a passenger on New Year’s Eve about 9 PM. And she was alone.
I take her to one of the nicer bars in town and go about my shift. About 11:30 I started to remember the tradition of people kissing at Midnight.

I drive to the bar and walk in. I NEVER had to pay a cover back then because I was like “Hey taxi dude! What’s happening!”
I look and she’s sitting alone at the bar. I walk up to her right during the countdown to midnight. She looked at me and smiled, stood up and planted one of the most soulful kisses I’ve ever experienced on me.

I told her to stay put, went back to the office, checked out and went back to pick her up.

That was a fine night.

Damn shame I don’t remember her name.

Unsurprised

I don’t know what to say

Bloody Lethal
Shogun Marcus

2016 decided to go out by snapping my car’s exhaust. Seems like an easy (and hopefully) cheap repair but I’m no expert. It waits until Monday. Fuck everything this year.

Bloody Lethal

It’s not just this year, but time itself.

scotchnaut

I really want to watch Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor but Sir Droopy Eyelids of the Long Week must be obeyed. Time for snoozies!

/see you later, bunny rabbits

Bloody Lethal
scotchnaut

I was told there would be sexy Beagles.

2/10-would not bang this thread

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