Your Late Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Of the six games on tap five have playoff implications-even if it’s just a matter of who plays who where. I’m always curious if a team that has no skin in the game (N.O., Denver, S.D. etc.) shows up to play. Trying to win is ingrained in the membrane (Cleveland excepted) but sometimes squads seem to just go through the motions during the last tilt of the year. TO THE GAMES!

NO/Atl– The Falcs need this win so they can get a first round bye and the #2 seed in the NFC. Qb Brees just needs about one quarter or 148 yards-whichever comes first-to get to 5,000 passing yards passing for the fifth time. The Saints D is looking to avoid the very likely prospect of being embarrassed yet again. I don’t care how high it is, take the over.

NYG/Was– Ye olde ‘Dacteds are dancing the Win And Get In Jig while the Giants are locked into the #5 seed no matter the outcome. If they lose I’ll be bang on about their record for the second year in a row in the pre-season predictions. [hesitates for a moment] No… no, I won’t be hoping they lose just so I can brag to invisible buddies. No.

Ari/LA– Pour some out (not too much!) for Aaron Donald and David Johnson-two phenomenally-gifted fellers that aren’t getting very much help from the other side of the ball this year.

Oak/Den– Thanks to an injury to Carr, Professor Frink expletive McGloin will be playing the lead role in “Deer In The Headlights” today vs. the Broncs D. Such a fine year by Oakland wasted. Wasted-reminds me of my youth and my plans for this afternoon.

KC/SD– I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again-the Chiefs are the most boring 11-win team in the all of ever. Anyway, allow me to unpack the “What’s At Stake Bowl”. Okay-[Andy Reid breaks through 4th wall] Steak bowl? A bowl made entirely of steak? What would you put in it aside from mashed potatoes, gravy, cornbread, bacon-wrapped sausages, more steak, a fried egg and a chocolate waterfall? Go on, I’m listening. [wipes saliva from mouth] Uhhh, where was I? Right. A Chiefs win and the likely Raiders loss gets them the 2 seed in the AFC.

Sea/SF– One team is playing for playoff seeding and the other for draft seeding. Can you figure out which one is which? If you’re able to do that, HC Carroll is more than interested in your theories of World Trade Center Building #7.

GO GET ‘EM, RAPSCALLIONS!