Of the six games on tap five have playoff implications-even if it’s just a matter of who plays who where. I’m always curious if a team that has no skin in the game (N.O., Denver, S.D. etc.) shows up to play. Trying to win is ingrained in the membrane (Cleveland excepted) but sometimes squads seem to just go through the motions during the last tilt of the year. TO THE GAMES!
NO/Atl– The Falcs need this win so they can get a first round bye and the #2 seed in the NFC. Qb Brees just needs about one quarter or 148 yards-whichever comes first-to get to 5,000 passing yards passing for the fifth time. The Saints D is looking to avoid the very likely prospect of being embarrassed yet again. I don’t care how high it is, take the over.
NYG/Was– Ye olde ‘Dacteds are dancing the Win And Get In Jig while the Giants are locked into the #5 seed no matter the outcome. If they lose I’ll be bang on about their record for the second year in a row in the pre-season predictions. [hesitates for a moment] No… no, I won’t be hoping they lose just so I can brag to invisible buddies. No.
Ari/LA– Pour some out (not too much!) for Aaron Donald and David Johnson-two phenomenally-gifted fellers that aren’t getting very much help from the other side of the ball this year.
Oak/Den– Thanks to an injury to Carr, Professor Frink expletive McGloin will be playing the lead role in “Deer In The Headlights” today vs. the Broncs D. Such a fine year by Oakland wasted. Wasted-reminds me of my youth and my plans for this afternoon.
KC/SD– I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again-the Chiefs are the most boring 11-win team in the all of ever. Anyway, allow me to unpack the “What’s At Stake Bowl”. Okay-[Andy Reid breaks through 4th wall] Steak bowl? A bowl made entirely of steak? What would you put in it aside from mashed potatoes, gravy, cornbread, bacon-wrapped sausages, more steak, a fried egg and a chocolate waterfall? Go on, I’m listening. [wipes saliva from mouth] Uhhh, where was I? Right. A Chiefs win and the likely Raiders loss gets them the 2 seed in the AFC.
Sea/SF– One team is playing for playoff seeding and the other for draft seeding. Can you figure out which one is which? If you’re able to do that, HC Carroll is more than interested in your theories of World Trade Center Building #7.
GO GET ‘EM, RAPSCALLIONS!
hey, that guy that used to be on the Donks practice squad WOO!!!
“Don’t run up the middle on first down. Don’t run up the middle on first down.”
/Giants run up the middle on first down
ya better wiiiiiiiippppe somebaaaaaddddaaaayyy!!!!
The really annoying thing, I like Victor Cruz
That way players dive onto each other when there is a fumble, I’m surprised more injuries don’t happen this way.
Is OBJ still on this team??
I think they’re sitting him now.
Come on, Eli, I want my neighbors to be unhappy.
THE LORD’S PLAN FOR YOU : ACCURATE FUCKING THROWS. DISAPPOINTMENT IS THE THIRD CIRCLE OF HELL.
Gates DROPPED IT
HEY COUSINS, THE LORD WANTS YOU TO PASS BETTER
So if The Mick is a show, does that mean It’s Always Sunny is done?
Did I read somewhere that this is the last year?
I think they are signed on for a couple more years
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/live-feed/sunny-philadelphia-renewed-record-tying-879880
Is Kaitlin Olson good enough to carry a series on a major network?
“Bazinga!”
– Kaitlin Olson in the 9th season of her successful show on a major network
SACK BY CHUBBY AND HAPPY HOORAY.
See? I’m sorta happy now! And haha Eli. And who doesn’t love big men celebrating? The only better thing would be a fat guy TD.
Up 30-6 in the last meaningless game of the year with one year left for the guy and his RB already going down today — yeah, let’s leave Palmer in.
If the Giant’s somehow let the ‘s win I am rooting for the Packers and Lions just each taking a knee for 3 downs and punting on every possession including OT
redacted’s* I used carrots and it read it as html
The Gingerhammer would disband both teams for disrespectin’ da Shield, and award playoff berths to Washington and, ah fuck it, the L.A. Rams.
Austen Matthews might have a future at this hockey thing.
Jane Austen Matthews?
If you take a toddler to an NFL game…you are a terrible parent.
Its right up there with letting your teenager get a tattoo.
My son wants one and I told him I’d pay for it but only if I had final approval.
It’s managed to delay things nicely.
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-IKdY2BbKrFg/UPqQEBdT9gI/AAAAAAAAJYw/alJjeKH3av8/s400/tattoo+for+girls+teen+girls+ideas+design+photo+images+perfect+lady+tattoos+(58).jpg
TIE TIE TIE SHIT TIE
I apologize. I am drunk and this game has…..IMPLICATIONS.
Please don’t spontaneously implode Dok. Go to your happy place for a moment.
http://img.pandawhale.com/153964-happy-gilmore-happy-place-gif-iyaT.gif
Garçon means boy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_58YdwEKkZY&app=desktop
I LIKE BAGUETTES AND YOU BEST CALL THAT SHIT LATE HIT ON GARCON IF YOU AREN’T GOING TO CALL LATE HITS ON FAT ROB. THEY ARE BOTH AWESOME AND DON’T HIT MY BOYS ILLEGITIMATELY DAMMIT.
CIABATTAS ARE LIFE! FUCK BAGUETTES.
Drew Kaser is not leaving the stadium alive after wiffing on a tackle that led to a 95 yard punt return.
http://i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/019/812/82748776.jpg
I just noticed….his teeth, they are perforated!
you had ONE JOB, Gigantes
The NFL should take a page out of the NHL’s book, and have overtime be 7 on 7
Fear my hot takes!
KC looks like the only team that could potentially beat the Patriots in the AFC. Too bad they probably won’t…
Snacks bats down a pass while covering a back. Now I’ve seen everything.
My god these Fox announcers suck (Barber and that other idiot). They’ve just explained that, as shitty as the team is, the NFL is better with a team in LA than without. And then they said that the crowd loved them and was passionate just as the crowd began to boo the shit out of them.
Way to stay on script, you fucking drones.
“Also Mariah Carey is America’s most beloved musical artist!”
HOW THE FUCK IS SCHERFF PRONOUNCED SHERRIFF? YOU ARE INVENTING VOWELS WHERE THEY DO NOT EXIST!
god damn i love Red Zone!
http://yaboy.xyz/redzone/
EVEN OUR ROOKIES THAT NO ONE HAS HEARD OF CAN CATCH SHIT. THEY HAVE TO CAUSE COUSINS.
Anyone do a wellness check on RTD?
He dead.
/Cousins yells “Detroit, Detroit” while under center
Well, there’s your problem in a nutshell right there.
I like Jamison, and not just because he’s a misspelt Irish whiskey
Holy shit Ice Football!
Connor Cook is cookin up Touchdowns with one to Cooper! Raiders!
I hope Cook is the next Tom Brady, because that means the Patriots will lose to the Raiders on a controversial call and it will be glorious.
Holy shit the Ice Lions just scored with .02 left to tie.
I stand corrected. .013 left.
And just like against the Bruins in 2013, #ItWasFourOne
Wasn’t that a Game 6 or 7 though?
Whatever, it was an epic collapse.
A game 7, yeah, but I’ll laugh forever and ever about it all the same.
Oh absolutely.
Carson Palmer has been sacked a fuckton this season. Only the Rams have pulled off getting their sacking player hurt while dropping Palmer.
So Gigantes will be big Fuck Lions of Destiny fans tonight.
http://rs95.pbsrc.com/albums/l153/Myke-JinX/Facepalm%20gallery/23j51di.png~c200
The Seahawks failed so badly there that it made my attempt at Homer Simpson facepalm fail as well.
Giants playing that stupid boring run game and hoping the D will hold up. Frustrating and a damn high-wire act with very little room for error.
The hockey game has gotten very close.
LolLeafs
Holy shit the Rams suck.
Gonna be saying that about Baby Buster and palz for years to come, I would wager.
Water is wet
“And I’ve been banging the ewes all this time. Ach!”
-Scottish shepherd
oh just at least keep the Redacteds out of the playoffs at least. The NFC side can be watchable if the AFC is gonna be pure dumpster fire.
Confession Time: Last week I went to McDonalds for the first time in 6 (or so) years.
I had a McDouble today. You’re not missing much. The fact I eat it once every three weeks or so is my secret shame.
Except for the occasional coffee and a hashbrown I haven’t had McD’s since 1997, and that joint was in Japan.
I’m gonna be laughing and slamming a Sausage McMuffin w/o egg when we’re both being eviscerated in Trump’s nuclear war.
So there’s now an actual TV show about hunting human beings?
That really feels like a show that should have premiered last year.
https://twitter.com/Mobute/status/793976399723958273
http://img1.izismile.com/img/img3/20100803/1000/random_funny_pictures_05.gif
http://rs1134.pbsrc.com/albums/m612/Jesseforever69/Funny%20Things/hu506.gif~c200
Who’s the cockblocker?
COUSINS IS YET AGAIN BAILED OUT BY THE TALENT OF HIS RECEIVERS. IF VERNON DAVIS IS MAKING YOU LOOK GOOD YOU SHOULD BE FULL OF SHAME.
http://c1.nrostatic.com/sites/default/files/styles/original_image_with_cropping/public/uploaded/colin-kaepernick-free-speech-national-anthem.jpg?itok=pzCw3Mgb
That Dodge commercial confuses me. It talks about Alaska and Russia while teh cars go running like some propaganda production. Then we cue teh music…AC/DC…from Australia. Huh? Italians just give no fucks.
AC/DC is a global brand. They rule.
http://s2.dmcdn.net/Aoytl/x240-IVM.jpg
I don’t question their rule, which is absolute. I do question their being used in a ridiculous fashion.
but MURICA and DRIVE FAST and FUCK THEM RUSKIES