FA Cup Starts in Earnest, No Everton/Foxy Footy TV??

Way to go, 2017. As of this writing, Fox Sports Go is all borken (won’t let me log in under my cable login or brother-in-law’s Dish Network one), so I can’t even check for a random secondary feed. I will likely be stuck listening to the terrible radio broadcast (they spend 2/3 of the broadcast reading messages from listeners, no doubt primarily shut-ins from various loony bins across Merseyside).

Anyway, my other car JT is pictured showing his fine Evertonian spirit. Kruger shouldn’t get all the Lesser Footy thread promotion. This one lets you hold him like a human infant, so one of the twins usually has him tucked away in her room. But occasionally the house is quiet cause the demon spawn are all away, and JT prefers the Everton fleece on the couch. With a pillow pet tucked beside him. He’s quite particular. You know, being a fucking cat and all.

The Toffees damned well better beat the Foxes’ asses bloody, given that it’s a home fixture and Leicester will have no incentive to be anything but one and done. They have the knockout stages of the Champions League and staying clear of the relegation zone to worry about, with two key players already headed to the African Euros. They can’t stand to stretch their depth one iota. Plus, Everton came good late against Saints on Tuesday (in YO FACE, Sill!!!), so there is momentum to be had.

But I am still mad, along with the fact that ESP-fuckin’-N moved the roundball match of the day from 2pm to 8pm. SERIOUS, you fucking jerkoffs couldn’t let us have ONE nice diversion before 4:30 in the afternoon? The entire South is gonna be snowed/iced in already and needs something.

NC State at U*NC (8:00, ESPN)

Yes, as if anyone but the comically dedicated to suffering wolven types will look away, even briefly, from Jim Caldwell’s Fuck Lions of Destiny!! to see this. I am convinced this is a conspiracy to cover up wider dissemination of the knowledge that the Asterisks are an overrated mediocrity, and if they catch NC State on one its unpredictable good nights, it could very well run the baby blues right out of the Dome That Dare Not Speak Its Name. Either way, my last bottle of office Christmas wine getting drunken here.

Beyond that…I have nothing for you. I heard a perfect song to put on here, but the motherfuckers apparently zapped it off YouTube, so THAT’S RUINED TOO. So, you get this instead, appropriately titled and still a nifty tune.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If I take my dog’s behavior as an omen, it’s not good. She just went outside, presumably in anticipation of me yelling a lot.

LemonJello

Self preservation is a strong motivator in all animals.

...

The Broncos mascot is pretty nightmare-y.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, that’s enough pun for today.

Doktor Zymm

TOO MANY CONNOR COOKS

Sharkbait

This guy should be shot for tucking in a jersey.

Redshirt

At friend’s house and we aren’t watching football. Mentally reevaluating friendship.

fleshwound_NPG

to be fair, this game might not have actual professional football being played

...

At least withhold your evaluation until we see how inept the QBing is.

Brick Meathook

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fleshwound_NPG

Winner gets to lose to New England by 40 next week

LemonJello

Update: Snowmeggedon has reached the Outer Banks. This light dusting will have everything shut down.

...

I saw some Russell Wilson hate in here. I love me some Russell Wilson hate.

scotchnaut

Egg noodles are the best noodles.

Shogun Marcus

All noodles matter.
/pugs name is noodles
//seriously though 99.9% of noodle-based things are tasty

litre_cola

My pug is currently snoring beside me, he has clearly caught Raiders v Imaginary team fever.

Shogun Marcus

Nfl marketing has yet to crack that all-important pug demo.

litre_cola

Hello internetters. How we all feeling? Lets play a prediction game.
I will keep track and have a whisky in your honoUr.

Oakland 19 Houston 10

ballsofsteelandfury

Oakland 20 Houston 13

...

Is that meant to be the final score or the number of QB fuck-ups we’ll see?

scotchnaut

Ja’Cuse. That is all.

ballsofsteelandfury

Who is cut-rate Don Cheadle?

Shogun Marcus

Been wondering that myself. Michael K Williams. Omar Little on The Wire, Chalky White on Boardwalk empire.

herodotus450

I’d think it would be the other way around. If Omar’d been in that hotel in Africa, none of my Hutu’s would be dead.

laserguru

Omar comin’ yo!

ballsofsteelandfury

I thought Berman was done doing football! I DEMAND MY MONEY BACK!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Has anyone done the bourbon trail? Thinking about going there later this month. Should we stay in Louisville or Lexington? Do we need more than a day? Any must dos or recs?

scotchnaut

I’ve done the single malt scotch walk of shame…

Shogun Marcus

I forgot Russell was taken after a punter in the draft. Sure he’s laughing now, but where was jebus then?

Shogun Marcus

Watching abc and their nfl films show. I’m stunned how calm Derek Carr was on the field right after his leg go bye-bye. He just sits there and says “It’s broke, it’s broke.” No screaming, no obvious pain.

Sharkbait

I’ve had a tib/fib fracture and they aren’t immediately painful. If I remember correctly* you instantly go into shock.

*2 weeks in the hospital on morphine, codeine, and demerol may or may not have clouded my memory on the matter.

Shogun Marcus

I suppose. When I broke my back I didn’t immediately feel it either, which is why I was walking around like an idiot for about 15 minutes before it dawned on me.

Horatio Cornblower

Got a blazing fire going and the wife and I are going to settle in and watch movies.

Could get something else blazing, if you know what I mean*, if the kids ever leave the house.

*Sex. I mean sex.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Blazing? I’m going to get stoned too.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m still fascinated by Yeah Right’s irrational hatred of Russell Wilson. Don’t get me wrong: Irrational hatred is our bread and butter. I just don’t understand why him. He’s basically the black Joe Flacco. I’m a Steelers fan and i don’t hate Joe Flacco. It’s like hating toast.

ballsofsteelandfury

¿Pumpernickel?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

To be fair; I love good pumpernickel.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m with yeah right. The guy is a fucking Schefter-esque brand where everything is calculated. His teammates at Wisconsin fucking hated him. His teammates at NC State hated him slightly less. And the instagramming his recelibacy was fucking garbage. Plus, I clearly miss Snow Phat.

http://blacksportsonline.com/home/wp-content/uploads/2014/12/Snow-Phat-Russell-Wilson-6.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Irrational? He is one of those assholes who thinks jesus talks to him to make him play better and is the reason they win.

ballsofsteelandfury

To be fair, I think a third of the league are Jesus freaks. Maybe I’m too AFC-centric. I’ve noticed I don’t really pay much attention to NFC teams/players.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

More than that; he just equates his version of piousness with football success more vehemently than most. He equates victory and his performance (when it is good) in a game to PERSONAL guidance to his version of god more than most. That makes him an arrogant delusional asshole. Now that is being fair, or even generous.

He never blames jesus for getting sacked.

ballsofsteelandfury

To be fair, Jesus seems more of a QB/WR combo than an offensive lineman.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury

I love the girl laughing in the background.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I hate white Joe Flacco.
I’ve become indifferent to black toast….tho as an NCSU fan, he does irk me.
Smug fucker.

ballsofsteelandfury

But but, he’s your team’s QB!

/ remembers who his team’s QB is

Oh, I get it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah well….remind me to tell you about Buck Showalter and Ubaldo Jimenez.
smh

ballsofsteelandfury

Do tell

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theeWeeBabySeamus

They can both DIE FIERY PAINFUL FUCKING DEATHS!!!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

sorry….i’m ok now

Horatio Cornblower

Anyone who announces immediately after the Superb Owl losing interception that is was “God’s way of testing” him deserves nothing more than a heaping helping of scorn.

laserguru

All of the below comments are applicable but to me the primary factor is his story about being a bully growing up. In his own words he used to “Beat people up a lot. Rubbed their heads in the dirt. BIT THEM. Even knocked teeth out.”

Oh but now you’re all better because you’ve been forgiven by your bullshit God.
If you were a bully you deserve to rot in fucking hell you hypocritical piece of garbage.

Sorry. As you were.

ballsofsteelandfury

I did not know that. Christ, what an asshole!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nicely stated.

laserguru

Wow. That was actually really cathartic to get out of me.

I’m all better now.

Horatio Cornblower

I may need help folks. We’re expected to get 3″-5″ of snow and there are only 35 beers in the house.

I can’t pretend this isn’t going to end in cannibalism.

Unsurprised

You better get to hiking then

LemonJello

Donner, party of one?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’s not that flexible.

laserguru

I just want to say that that is a mighty good kitty you’ve got there Mr Hippo.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

As for the football this weekend, I think home teams all win–except for los Gigantes ending the Pack’s streak.

/has been known to be wrong
//is an idiot

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Buenos Dias. Snow still coming down in DC; actual accumulation for a change. Just made myself a sautéed onion and leftover Camembert omelet for breakfast. I see no reason to leave the apartment anytime soon.

laserguru

I gots no choice. Gotta brave the rain and the 57 degrees for a grocery store run. After that?
Lock down!

LemonJello

How much accumulation? I have to head back up that way Sunday afternoon/night and I may need to bring the shovel to clear out my parking spot.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Depends on exactly where. A little over an inch downtown, slowing down now. I don’t think a shovel is necessary unless it keeps coming. Check out Capital Weather Gang on Twitter; they’re the tits.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Packers
Raiders
Steelers
Touchdown Seahawks…..

ballsofsteelandfury

Is Russell Wilson the first athlete to drop a white woman for a black woman?

Raycess? Hey, I didn’t do it!

LemonJello

I can think of several players that…oh, not THAT kind of “drop”? Uh, I see…

Nevermind.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Like me!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I didn’t mean eating food constantly.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Never bet teh mortgage.
Christ, even me running around the sportsbook in Vegas I’d never bet teh mortgage. Probably.

ballsofsteelandfury

Money line parlay: Seahawks and Steelers.

As for the others, it’s a toss-up in both games. I could see any of the 4 teams winning.

laserguru

Giants
Fictional team from Texas
Pittsburgh
Fuck Lions because fuck the fuck out of Russell Wilson. Seriously fuck that asshole.

ballsofsteelandfury

You don’t like Ciara?

laserguru

Apart from her being married to assface I have no fucking clue what she is or what she does. Never heard of her before the marriage thing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My betting limit is usually a six-pack or bomber of the winner’s choice of beer.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Snow is now tapering off…
Looks like tWBS is going to bottom out (heh) at just around six inches.
He’s had worse days….trust me. Not bad.

Shogun Marcus

Don’t strain anything. Those pumps can cause bad injury.
/so I’ve heard
//from a friend
///no you shut up

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*measuring from his own asshole.

theeWeeBabySeamus

HEY!!!!!! I’ll decide where to measure from….thank you very much.

theeWeeBabySeamus

THANK YOU!!!!!!
(also may I borrow a ruler….preferably one with centimeters)
((see kids, that’s funny because…..aw screw it))

Horatio Cornblower

Once I was at an after-hours drinking session and one guy announced he had an 8″ dick. another attorney, female, asked if he was measuring from his asshole. He replied “No. From the back of your throat.”

Oh we laughed and laughed right up until the mandatory sexual harassment seminar.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s all fun and games ’til someone gets sued.

ballsofsteelandfury

Today’s high in my part of SoCal is 67. I hear others may get 69.

Nice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Personally, I’d like to get 69.

JustStopDude

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theeWeeBabySeamus

My backyard as of about 2 hrs ago…..brrrrr……
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Well shit, that did not work.

ballsofsteelandfury

That seems nice and peaceful

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s one word for it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh hai.

ballsofsteelandfury

Dude in the khaki shorts had the right idea.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The Salt Shaker People never got along with the Slug People.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyk2qzbkqb1r9l7xlo1_r1_400.jpg

WCS

13 degrees here, eleven miles north of Yinzburgh, with a projected high of a balmy 15. Lows expected around -2 tonight. Game time high tomorrow is projected at 18. Can’t wait to see how Tannehill punishes his practice squad guys because of that.

Highs on Tuesday-Thursday? 55, with 100% of rain.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
laserguru

You know what sounds really tasty?
Sushi.
Sushi sounds really tasty.

Maybe some noodles and maybe some gyoza.

Yeah. That would work for dinner.

Think I’ve still got some sake too.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You’re saying that on purpose to make me miss Vegas.
You’re a dick.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
laserguru

Actually I was just really hungry and thinking about food.

Still am in fact.

One of these days I’m going to share my recipe for Swedish meatballs.
Fuck, that sounds tasty too.

JustStopDude

Through “One Armed Boxer” and now watching “One Armed Swordsman”

http://www.kickemintheghoulies.com/augsept%2012//one%20armed%20swordsman%20dvd%20remaster.jpg

Out of beer. Supplies critically low.

Doktor Zymm

No snow here, and warmer than it’s been this week (high of 18!), but I’m still not motivated enough to put on pants, take public transit downtown, and sit on a bus for 2 hours to go tour 4 Michigan wineries. Then bus back, missing the first playoff game….ugh.
The sunk cost fallacy is one of the best things I learned in grad school.

Shogun Marcus

Ooh la la Miss Fancy No-pants 18 degrees! We might get to 10, the first time in a week I think.

Doktor Zymm

Hooray for double digits!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

But enough about Jason Pierre-Paul’s wife’s secret fantasy…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut

You lost me at “Michigan Wineries”.

/raises pinkie while doing a shot of grain alcohol

Fronkenshteen

Who the hell is Sutton?

laserguru

We’ve got cold and drizzle. By cold I mean 50 degrees but at least I can get to the store to resupply.
Hope you’re bunker is sufficient for a hunker.

Stay warm folks.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Goddamn pussies.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Still snowing like a mofo here. tWBS is almost up to six inches.
(these words have rarely been said….well at least not honestly)

LemonJello

Just rain here on the NC coast. I took LimeJello back to ECU early in anticipation of being trapped out here in the land that road salt and snowplows forgot. He’s already had classes cancelled on Monday. I saw more flurries from my office outside DC Thursday than we’ve seen here.

We’ve got chili in the crock pot, so I got that going for me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well I’ll be damned.
Another ECU parent. What is wrong with you people letting your kids go there?
😉

LemonJello

Not only an ECU parent, but a former ECU employee!

It has a good Computer Science program, with an emphasis on video game design, and that is what LimeJello wants to do…

OrangeJello has been accepted to their Fine Arts school, but she hasn’t made a decision yet. (VCU and App State are also options)

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ha….I was supposed to be in Boone this weekend.
Snowstorm changed my plans.

LemonJello

We made the trip mid-day Friday after I got some supplies for Fort LemonJello before the panic set in out here.

JustStopDude

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She should have known; a guy wearing a dirty t-shirt with suspenders has a high probability to be oblivious to her seduction efforts.

The bananas are ripe.

JustStopDude

One armed boxer origin story in gif form…

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JustStopDude

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WCS

JustStopDude

Nothing to do but watch glorious Jimmy Wang Yu movies…

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JustStopDude

Flurries they say…less than an inch they say…

I woke up to six fucking inches already and its not suppose to stop anytime soon.

This fucking sucks. Pretty much every road here is both a steep decline and incline. Anything over two inches is fucking dangerous, even with a four wheel drive vehicle. Oh and the city and county do not believe in snow plowing the roads until AFTER it stops snowing.

And my supplies consists of four beers, pasta of indeterminate age, and a half bar of soap.

I WANT MY FUCKING GLOBAL WARMING!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

“I woke up to six fucking inches already and its not suppose to stop anytime soon.”

That’s what she said!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Can’t sleep. Raiders in playoffs in six hours.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hahahahahahahaha….dude. You have no idea how wonderful that song choice is.
Oh shit…I’m like nearly 51% happy and only 49% suicidal right now. Thank you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S4Q9zngV52U

Unsurprised

The entire South can go fuck itself.

scotchnaut

I think they already have…

theeWeeBabySeamus

We’ve got like 5 inches of snow….we’re done until at least April. No worries.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I got your five inches of snow right here…”

– Brett Favre, pointing to his crotch while thrusting his hips forward exactly one extra inch.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He always was one to exaggerate.

Unsurprised
scotchnaut

It’s gonna be alright Hippo-you must have forgotten that the mighty Cuse plays Pitt at the crack of noon.