“WHAT DO WE WANT?”
“A COMPETITIVE PLAYOFF GAME!”
“WHEN DO WE WANT IT?”
“NOW!”
[whispers out of the side of his mouth] “Could you maybe just wait until the one after this?”
Mia/Pit– The Steelers opened as 10.5 faves and that has since been bumped to 12.5. Why? Well, pull up a couch and I’ll tell you my good fan. HC Gase and the entire fan base was hoping that qb Tannyfanny would be ready to go for this one but Matt Moore has been announced as the starter. In a three game stint he threw for 8 TD’s vs. 3 INT’s but half of those were against the Jets and they only count as three-pointers in league stats. Moore has a significantly stronger arm than the guy normally in front of him so he may want to air it out to wr’s Parker and Stills (who will drop it) early in order to make some space for the running game. Rb Ajayi will have to run for 200+ yards for the fourth time this year in order for the Fins to have a whisper of a chance. You see, their D ranked 29th in avg. yards given up per game at 382.6. This ‘winning’ squad also had a point differential of -17 which is indicative of a team that lost big to a half-decent team here and squeaked out games vs. lousy opposition there. Did I mention that their #1 cb Maxwell is hobbled by an ankle injury and may not play against Antonio?
If you can’t hear me over the laughter of Ben, Bell and Brown… THE STEELERS HAVE WON 7 STRAIGHT AND ARE HEADED TO K.C. NEXT WEEKEND.
[wipes hands on monitor] My work here is done. GET AT IT, KOOL KATS!!!
Tracy Wolfson with, appropriately, a wolf on her back
He almost ruined “The Humpty Dance” for me.
/Can’t get busy in a Burger King bathroom without thinking of his dumbass.
Don’t leave; Space Chicks will come into your house and fuck with your shit.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/f8eda5106d370130df75889857967f45/tumblr_nsnzjcW7dE1s5gb67o1_1280.jpg
OK, now I’m stoned enough.
http://static.panoramio.com/photos/large/46002620.jpg
All rise?
the classic:
Teams I hate in Order
1 – Eagles, HATE HATE HATE THEM
2 – [*Redacted] s – FUCK THEM
3 – Steelers – FUCK THEM TOO & The Refs that protect them
4 – Green Bay – EAT A DICK
5 – Pats – DIE ALREADY
6 – Seattle – BREAK A LEG ASSHOLE
Everyone else is cool.
Pictured: Aaron Rodgers response
http://i.imgur.com/B6LRnyx.jpg
So…that new show Hunted is basically The Running Man as originally written by Stephen King?
Wait whut? No shit?
That sounds awesome.
It actually does, doesn’t it? Kind of funny that he got paid big for nothing more than the Running Man name, and he’ll get absolutely nothing now that they’re actually using his idea.
You lawyer types…..
Is “Mother nature messed my brain up” a good defense?
I’m snowed in with my ADHD niece and I’m about to murderize her. I need options.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/05f3fc05536378e1ad8a1e0997117fd0/tumblr_oj9stv0uUr1u5h6wqo1_1280.jpg
https://youtube.com/watch?v=aBkSIFMTMoE
Or Cartman’s suggestion to send Connecticut Kyle to a concentration camp.
Well my first recommendation would be that you stop writing things like “I’m about to murderize her” because that’s a) going to play hell with our defense that this wasn’t pre-meditated and b) now we’re going to have to disqualify all potential jurors who care about grammar.
But you live in North Carolina so that should be, what, 4 people?
If you as a professional athlete (or human) see a mouth guard painted with fangs and are either scared or intimidated by it, you need to quit…living.
I think the guy wearing the fang mouth guard needs to be put out of his misery too. How small is your dick that you feel the need to resort to that to “get an edge” on the opponent?
The guy with the mirrored visor nods.
A better move would be to wear one that simulated horse teeth, because that would at least scare Eric Berry away.
Though I guess you could accomplish the same effect by just wearing a John Elway mask.
Don’t think that is quite the point.
http://files.whereiscat.com/uploaded_images/800px-AVG-Tigers-711484.jpg
I can’t express my hate for the Steelers in words.
Awwwww….go ahead and give it a try.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/71b36e9f799f2617448fe84876b037e0/tumblr_oinwncaQtZ1uoh1t8o1_500.gif
Only second to the Pats in my book.
That’s okay, anything other than simple grunting is incomprehensible to Steelers fans anyway.
Ouch! You go!
Interpretive dance, perhaps?
Get the TV out of the way!
Fuck Football (at least until later).
http://68.media.tumblr.com/50d74c8aecc9982ebf0507476eda0d13/tumblr_oiscsyAAsI1umk4ogo10_400.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D4bm5oW8qAM
I really hope this game doesn’t suck. Playoff football is supposed to be the best football, and I can’t really say yesterday delivered, at least not the night game.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/5b1c7e3e22e20055260555cfdd06279b/tumblr_oinx0piYZX1uoh1t8o1_500.gif
“Flint-Stones”
also what they call the water,,folkss
Nice.
The Steelers are a bunch of sad sack losers. Whining all week about how they’re still mad about losing to us.
It’s football, you fucking simps. You got outplayed and lost the game.
“Us”?
Dont be a jackass.
People who refer to the team they support accomplishments as there own are jackasses.
I hate that it went all corporate. I was at the 10th and it was all about the LEARNING man. Now it’s all money.
Needs more R&D.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/17a4690d6bf59a6870c992f2a780e97b/tumblr_oix5siLFyU1uoh1t8o1_500.gif
No, you can’t have any
KILL IT WITH FIRE
http://farm9.static.flickr.com/8090/8554675236_b4ca653e93_o.gif
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3RJUMm-hd0
Never Forget
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cu8q3363qTk
And Dan’s just thinking…
http://25.media.tumblr.com/7f1db38a7fe458203b9a12c3cab4f2c0/tumblr_mm1xy6X6cD1s7e58wo1_500.gif
Odd, he was saying the Dan’s teams around him were not good enough. It was a vague compliment.
Boomer doesnt have a ring either
For some fucking reason, I respect the opinions of you weirdo degenerates. I think its because I can get honesty from you fucks because at no point have I ripped you off and/or drunkenly hit on your significant other or family member.
It is with that in mind…I have to open myself up and reveal a dark…horrific…personal secret.
I would be okay with the Cowboys winning the Superbowl.
Now hold up…I still detest Cowboy fans. I’ve just completely warmed up to Dak and Elliot. I like watching them play. I like the fact that a team could win that puts money into their offensive line consistently (hopefully inspiring other teams TO DO THAT SIMPLE THING). I would like Romo to get a ring, even on the bench, just because that guy has utterly wrecked his body over the years.
And I think the post Superbowl drunk Jerry tweets and photos will be INSANE.
This is how the man celebrates a preseason game…
We could witness JJ live tweeting his heart exploding during a coke and bourbon fueled orgy.
Who in their right mind would want to miss this? Does this make me a bad person?
…How much ham have you eaten recently?
I want ALL THE HAM
You’re probably right, but go fuck yourself.
Am ok with this.
I respect you but not that opinion. I fucking hate everything Cowboys. Over my dead body will Little Cola become a Cowboys fan. I will make up so many lies about them just to make sure he does not.
Dude I’m a Cowboys fan and I’d be the first to tell you that there’s no need to lie to anyone to turn them away from the Cowboys. The truth will do just fine.
THOUGHTCRIME!
Although, if it means no Pats Super Bowl…
That is my only caveat.
If the alternative is another Patriots win, then I will paint a big fucking silver star on my chest.
Reno?
http://68.media.tumblr.com/8fb251aba7da0ceac539e8f74fd694a5/tumblr_oiudp0jVqg1uoh1t8o1_1280.jpg
Mmmm. Free-range bacon
That’s no way to talk about that woman.
What’s Dan Marino been up to? You don’t hear much about him since his divorce.
He works for the Dolphins, He is a “Special Advisor to the Owner”. Whatever the fuck that means
NFL today says (repeatedly) that the ‘Steelers are still steamed about Ajayi’s first game and that they will not get beat by Ajayi again’.
Well, shit, I didn’t know it was that easy. Why didn’t we ever just get steamed about Brady’s last game?
Great, now you’ve got Andy Reid thinking about steamed hams.
More of a Utica thing.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/afd04408bc9f1115e1bec5e308d67870/tumblr_oiudjs3NoO1uoh1t8o1_500.gif
Morning. It’s been raining for the last 20 hours here in Reno. At least it melted all the snow.
http://68.media.tumblr.com/307b45be2028d84f9d238e190c4492c0/tumblr_oiudwxDxW91uoh1t8o1_500.gif
Reno?
How many men have you shot just to watch them die?
I just might shoot someone, I’m out of booze. The rain is no joke, the streets are flooded.
Oh, fuck. I have to wait another hour.
One highlight of having the late game will be the guy liveposting the police scanner, which I will endeavor to share if they’re good. Playoffs + 4 hours at least of pregaming should = many Darwin disciples.
So… they gon drank?
CHUH-CHUH BULEE DAT!
Oh and add the cold…there’s still some who believe that drinking drops your body temp is “an old wives tale.”
/haven’t seen them since high school/college
//oh they gots ta be ded by now
What is the twitter handle for that again?
@PGDougSchneider #Scannersquawk
I’m also experiencing all of the precursors to a kidney stone this morning.
On the ground weather report from Yinzburgh:
It cold
It’s so cold here in [other part of the midwest] that I had to take a viagra just to pee accurately.
I concur.
So 50% chance Suh rips off The Ben’s dick right?
Only if that number is so low only because you think there is a 50% he will just cleat stomp it when he is on the ground.
O/U on total touches for L. Bell today? 35? Higher?
So what is the FA Cup, & what is its relationship to the premier league?
Every team in England no matter what division gets thrown in a hat and then round by round teams are eliminated. So you can have Fuckletowne United vs Chelsea etc.
But the system is set up where the lower levels smack the shit out of each other first, before the quality teams are thrown in the pool.
Are you saying my Fulham FC isn’t quality?
/knows they used to be, not anymore
So winning the triple is Premier League, FA Cup & what?
I think the third is the Champions League, but does one still count if you win Europa instead?
http://splitsider.com/2017/01/bill-burr-will-provide-live-commentary-of-sundays-dolphins-vs-steelers-nfl-game/
Yeah he’s a flithy fucking Pats fan but he’s damn funny.
No copyright issues there?
Naturally the exchange booth at JFK has a “back in 30” sign on it. Fuck it, back to Taiwan, the Wifi works, it’s 70 or so, and you can get a beer at an airport 7-11 for under a dollar and it doesn’t taste like complete garbage!
Plus the dumplings! oh the dumplings!
Oh, so you’re going to China?
I was there for two weeks, finally back.
Oh look at this guy, another one who doesn’t recognize the sovereignty of Chiang Kai-Shek
The spread is at 12.5?!?
Look people, I said it yesterday and I’ll say it again: Take the underdog!
I have 11.5 & 5 on Scoresandodds.com right now. If I was still a betting man, I’d have a few shekels on the Gints today.
“Moore has a significantly stronger arm than the guy normally in front of him”\
As someone who has actually watched Dolphins football, this is fundamentally untrue. Tannehill has become a good deep ball thrower, even though he wasnt one earlier in his career.
Also, don’t forget, Roy Williams moved last night’s game with tWBS and my wolven sort – AGAINST ACC precedent – to this afternoon, to buy time and try to get more students and fans in the arena.
Once Le’Veon gets his 3rd TD, flip over and lend a few swear words our way. This is as pure as our hatred gets. We already kicked their asses on the JV NFL front on their field this past season, so this would give us a very rare season sweep that way.
Because we usually suck, you see. Dunno if we have brought that up a few hundred enough times or not.
I’m loving the fact that Grayson Allen, back from his indefinite one game suspension, is already back to trying to trip people in games.
Coach K has done more this year to do away with the bullshit luster him and his program have had than I could have ever imagined….
Ni hao ma, my glip-flops? Waiting for my luggage at JFK, good to be back!
Is glip-flops how the Chinese refer to Americans? That might be a little racist…
Then what are schleemie?
Autocorrect never fails to be the absolute worst.
So I saw that the Chiefs were looking to extend Reid and the first thing I thought about was an all-you-can-eat BBQ joint.
the Yinzers ought have this covered by the end of Q1, though I like the LOLfins chances better with Moore than TannyFanny, oddly enough. Especially in Arctic weather.
/fack you Moose it Arctic to ME!!
Well considering that Tannehill would beslightly shittier at moving around in the pocket with a gimpy knee, yeah Moore is the better option
Hate ranking of teams left in the playoffs:
1. Kansas City
2. New England
3. Dallas
4. Seattle
5. Pittsburgh
6. Green Bay
7. Atlanta
You forgot Los Gigantes, but who could hate that cute 5-year old Elisha face??
Otherwise, I mostly agree. I’d like to see the GB/NYG winner play the Yinzers.
And Christ, how the Chefs fans would bleat forevs if they somehow knocked off Dreamboat (spoiler alert, they won’t) so as an AFC West cohabitant I have to at least put them as 1(a) and 1(b).
Of course, it would be hilarious to watch Andy Reid fuck up a Superb Owl. But still…
I not-particularly-secretly want Andy Reid to win a Super Bowl for the Eagles fan laughing at opportunities
Not nice.
I did, they are between Green Bay and Atlanta.
1) Dallas
1T) NE
3) Seattle
4) GB
5) Pitt
6) KC
7) ATL
I guess? I’m fairly indifferent to the last three, so that’s a bit fuzzy.
How the fuck you doin, boys?
In a way, I’m sort of relieved at how the Raiders lost – decisively, but not embarrasingly so. I won’t spend time worrying about what might have been, and I don’t have to think about them getting eviscerated by the Patriots next weekend.
As far as teams to root for, though…it’s Pittsburgh today because I desperately want to see them send Kansas City home next week, and it’s the Falcons for the whole enchilada, because I hate every single other team that’s left.
You’ve got a great young team-you’ll have a shit ton of fun next year.
It’s not super realistic, but I kinda hope the Fins win this one, just so they’ll be playing in a playoff game (albiet probably losing) next weekend when I’m in Ft. Lauderdale. Being local for playoff games is fun in any sport, even kinda sorta baseball. Watching from a beachside bar? Even better.
[looks in mirror, “flexes” pecs, has imaginary conversation with Vanessa Hudgens]
What’s not super realistic, now?
I agree with this assessment/prediction, so it’s likely the Fins eke out an upset.
I completely slept through yesterday’s second game. I have no idea of the results, nor care enough to look it up. I feel confident it was a boring, slow game, displaying terrible performances.
Hell…if you put a gun to my hand, I am not sure I could remember who was playing…it was the Seahawks and…the…um…Winnipeg Blue Bombers?
I’m thinking I should have just slept until Monday.
My Bombers (home town) would have gotten 13 rouges on them and then we would have made it interesting!
Oh for fuck’s sake.
Does anyone know how to get hand streaks off a monitor? I can’t see a thing.
I usually lick them off.
That’s dangerous given what likely caused them…
My thoughts exactly.