2017 Madness Open Thread – Friday Afternoon Block

Day #2 – we can do this!!  Rest is for the weak, and you can sleep when you dead.  Or comatose.  I’ll give ya that.

#10MW Oklahoma State v. #7MW Michigan (12:15, CBS)

Starting it off with a quality fixture!  The Pokes are a Hippo Sleeper ™ and the Wolverines are a media sleeper.  Something gotta give, ya know?  Early returns are better for the Big 12 than the B1G whatevs, so…

#14E New Mexico State v. #3E Baylor (12:40, truTV)

Another team I know fuckall about taking on an enigmatic, weirdly-coached team that I expect will rise to the occasion and make a deep run or completely shit itself.  Or rape a whole bunch of people, that seems to be the BayBay default setting.

#9S Seton Hall v. #8S Arkansas (1:30, TNT)

Pig Sooey is back, and they draw perennial Big East pain-in-the-ass Seton Hall.  This should be a fun, free-flowing game, so obviously it will be a total turd.

#14MW Iona v. #3MW Oregon (2:00, TBS)

Ooooooh, Hippo smells upset.  Or maybe I’m having a stroke.  Hey, it could be two things!  The not-St. Mary’s-varietal Gaels have a fighting chance with the Ducks’ leading rebounder out with a blown ACL.

#15MW Jacksonville State v. #2MW Louisville (2:45, CBS)

This is the first ever dance for Jax State, but don’t expect it to go as sweetly as it did for Northwestern yesterday.  Fuckface, Sr. will look to get the family back to .500 at least.  He has a really good team, which is good given how extra evil KS is this season.

#11E USC v. #6E SMU (3:10, truTV)

So many initials!  So much high-temp basketball!!  An early tip time for a team that played late Wednesday night…spells buh bye, Troi boiz.  But we got to enjoy your song girls, at least.

#16S Texas Southern v. #1S U*NC (4:00, TNT)

All I will say is, get this most unlikely win, and I will buy a sweatshirt and wear it proudly.  Definitely to the office.

#11MW Rhode Island v. #6 Creighton (4:30, TBS)

It’s a shame thinking about how far Creigh-Creigh could have gone had they not lost their starting PG in January.  But they did, and they’re still quite good.  Rhode Island is a tough, fairly athletic team that should give the Jays a tough game.

 

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I really am starting Rounders, anyone else up to waste some time playing poker?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I love the subversive phrasing in the Nationwide commercial: “18 inches of NOPE”. I hope whoever wrote it was female.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OR AN ARCHITECT TELLING AN ENGINEER ABOUT CIELING SPACE FOR UTILITIES.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OH NO, I’M NOT BITTER.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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laserguru

At my work the engineers and scientists don’t always get along. The scientists may come up with the idea but the engineers build the goddamn thing.

laserguru

And the same hood.

laserguru

Strait outta the high bay clean room muthafuckas.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

So early review of Iron Fist. The writers should all be fired. Nothing happens for 5 eps, then give villains worse features and allies worse features. None of which applies to the story. Like at all. Without giving up details one guy changes his entire personality for no reason

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am not mentioning a sudden turn to good or bad, they just made him something completely different. Still useless

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wasn’t interested in Iron Fist to begin with, but it sounds terrible.

LemonJello

I’ve gone back and forth on giving Iron Fist a chance. This does not bode well for it being watched.

laserguru

Pro corned beef tip: rather than boiling your corned beef in a pot of water and rinsing the flavor off at the same time, rinse the beef to remove the sodium nitrate, pat dry, rub some mustard on the beef, sprinkle the seasoning packet over the top, wrap the whole thing in foil and bake in a 350 oven for 3 and 1/2 hours.
Let rest for 20 minutes, slice and serve.
Makes a kick ass sandwich.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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nomonkeyfun

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LemonJello

http://acidcow.com/pics/20130716/bollywood_actress_17.gif

Apologies for the unwanted Mr. Worldwide/305

nomonkeyfun

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LemonJello

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I don’t want a large Farva I want a god damn litre of cola

litre_cola

The tackle of the kid the throwing burgers at him is one of the funniest moments in stoner movie history IMO.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I have mentioned this many times before, but I met that cashier guy at a party one time.

laserguru

Laundry is done, hair is clean cut, corned beef is cooking.
Engage!

/ beer flies open

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I did all my chore work this morning. I am good for drinking this afternoon. Horatio made me look up a Rounders video so I am doing that instead of more Iron Fist that is just pissing me off with idiot logic

WCS

Refs just kicked Seton Hall in the dick.

SonOfSpam

I dunno, that could get called every time a team is trying to foul.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

Thank goodness for fun…er…airbags!

litre_cola

Now that Mark Trestman is gainfully employed again will his windowless van make it over the border?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

At least spell his name right. Marc.

litre_cola

You would think i would have known that. I did not, and offer no apologies. I will continue to also fuck up Sean, Shawn, Shon.

LemonJello

“…”
-Shonn Greene’s empty locker

litre_cola

I know most of us are gainfully employed but it seems to me that a whole lot of DFO is sick from work today.

SonOfSpam

I took the day off, yet I’m sober and doing work around the house. What a fucking idiot.

litre_cola

I am flying home from a funeral, then i screwed myself tomorrow, so last night and tonight is all I got!

SonOfSpam

Sorry about your loss, unless it was someone you hated.

litre_cola

97 year old grandfather, hard as nails scotsman. Only sad partis that he didnt get to meet his 1st great grandchild in 5 weeks.

SonOfSpam

Aw, damn. Sorry to hear that. Sounds like he had a hell of a run though. I’ll drink to him (and others) later.

Horatio Cornblower

“then i screwed myself tomorrow”

See for me masturbating is more of a spontaneous thing…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I actually am about to release an alpha version of an Android product, and will soon be dragging you jerks in to help test installation so I don’t embarrass myself before sending it out to the volunteer testers.

Horatio Cornblower

I took the day off and still did about an hour’s worth of work this morning due to some litigation emergency. Then I put snowshoes on and took the dog for a walk in the woods. He is out cold right now.

The drinking will commence during my monthly poker game tonight. If the prior two tournaments are any indication I’ll be out early after going all in with the best hand, only to get fucked on the river.
(DFO says “oh, please go on with your poker stories”)

Well, see in the first month I had A-A and…
/gets hit with rock and knocked out
(DFO: “We were kidding!”)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Go on, if only so I can make you listen when I tell my story about dropping a royal flush on a famous actor (he’s not famous yet – saving the story for when he is – it is not a very good story otherwise – and won’t be that good a story even if he becomes famous).

litre_cola

Can we hear about your bracket, fantasy football teams, and that 1 time u made the game winning shot/goal/kick to win state finals?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Going all in with a 6 3 suited to try to hit a straight on the river is not a good hand especially when your flush draw died on the flop.

/just guessing on your hand. I am probably close

Don T

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Don’t worry! I’ll ruin it!
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

The Moose is strong with this one.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is truly delightful.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just don’t think of Japanese + Rule 34….. like I did.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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jjfozz

Terps get bounced by Xavier.

Someone should tell Melo that he can’t run through three fucking goons who could play interior line in the NFL.

Ah, fuck it.

Got a call from a recruiter today who may not be a complete toolshed. We’re gonna have a SKYPE CALL on Tuesday.

So I’m guessing suit and tie up top, my bare ass and nuts hanging in the breeze on the bottom?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Make sure your kids crash the interview so you can shove them aside while your wife dives through the door to grab them.

People love that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

DAMN IT!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Gloria Marie Jocasta Ramirez-Pritchett

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, that was pretty esoteric.

SonOfSpam

Stupid sexy Tinky Winky.

Horatio Cornblower

ABC just interrupted General Hospital to show Trump lie in a press conference, again. My wife was furious.

CBS kept showing the basketball games. They are now my favorite network.

SonOfSpam

Right, SHE was the one watching soap operas.

(I’d ask what the lie was, but dammit, it’s really hard to care any more.)

Horatio Cornblower

I just meant in general, but she just came in to tell me that Trump just referred to our country as “my company” before catching himself so, yeah. That happened.

Also I don’t really watch GH but through the process of osmosis I know a disturbing amount about it.

nomonkeyfun

/puts on nerd glasses

Umm Horatio, if it transfer from a greater store of knowledge to a lesser, it would be diffusion. Unless you are saying you know more about GH, than your wife.
/furiously googles diffusion
/breathes sigh of relief
/returns to locker next to Horatio

Horatio Cornblower

Wow.

Sill would be so proud.

nomonkeyfun

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Horatio Cornblower

Eh, tomayto, tomahto.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Please add another “/” before each follow action or thought.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Wait, the Raiders might bring Beastmode out of retirement?!

http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/18931085/oakland-raiders-consider-acquiring-retired-rb-marshawn-lynch

This HAS to be an RTD ploy to make me drink the Kool-aid.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, that would be fun as hell.

And strangely enough, it’s not a crazy move. He’s the type of running back that they need, and they won’t need him to carry a full load, either.

Bloody Lethal

Let’s go Pirates.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I WAS THINKING CANCER! You go ahead with your urban legend stuff tho.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Jim J. Bullock’s buttplug!

I guess it is a specialized answer.

SonOfSpam

“Quick-hitting ball screen” sounds painful.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Expensive, too, the time I tried it.

SonOfSpam

Hey, congrats on the big 1st round win by the Lady Wolfpack!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I’ve been up for 3 hours and just cracked my sixth Guinness. My ride shows up in an hour to take me to a pub crawl in Ocean Beach. I will be fine, but pray for my liver.

nomonkeyfun

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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

So, I work in a customer’s office twice a week, and the customer is SUPER Irish. We just did Irish car bombs and are starting in on shots of Jameson. I’m saying I may die here.

SonOfSpam

He’s already got his outfit ready:

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Unsurprised

I’ve never wanted to see someone’s shot in the back so badly.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh there’s no “may” about it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Serious question: If Germany suddenly decided they wanted to become a nuclear power, how long do you think it would take their scientists to build one? Two weeks? I bet it wouldn’t take them more than two weeks.

Bloody Lethal
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

If Dok’s on the job, I’d cut that in half.

Unsurprised

Does beating up France and taking theirs count? That would only take an hour.

Bloody Lethal

My Grandfather’s favorite.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMkQExuzL_0

nomonkeyfun

My mixed white guy heritage causes me many problems on St. Paddy’s Day, especially because I’m from the Dirty Jerz.

My Irish blood wants Guinness, then my English blood decides to counter that with some Black and Tans. This gets the Irish all riled up and demands some Irish car bombs.

Finally, my Welsh blood decides that it is time to fuck ewes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

From my experience in the UK B&Ts are “MURICAN!” all the way.

Bloody Lethal
laserguru

So what does a fine partial Irishman do on his day off, on Saint Patrick’s day no less?
I’ve got laundry going, a haircut appointment and a trip to the store planned.
But! There’s Guinness in the fridge, I’ll be cooking a corned beef and I’ve got a bottle of Jameson.
That should work.

Bloody Lethal

I got a haircut today too my friend. Tomorrow is the parade. Tullamore Dew.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Congrats, Moose, you finally managed to horrify me.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You need to watch more TLC Network.**

**DON’T EVER WATCH THIS FUCKING NETWORK.

Unsurprised

Gotta go.

I feel gross about this and also I’m outing my favorite titty pic forum, but here are the Emma Watson leaks. NSFW, obviously.

h
ttp://forum.phun.org/index.php?threads/emma-watson-leaked-pics-and-videos.1798240/

WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Those must be brand new; WVU women always have skid marks.

Unsurprised

“Skid marks?” — Rob Bironas’s Ghost

blaxabbath

#WOULDPEN

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
blaxabbath

Apparently I need a tv subscription to access the games via ncaa.com today. If I just clear my cache or whatever, should that get me back in to my 3 hours of free play or whatever.

litre_cola

Pretty pumped i have an 8 hour ‘you are having a baby’ class tomorrow. Poor planning for Cola. Missing the sportsing not millilitre cola, he was planned.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Whatever you do, don’t try to mix and match, because when the big day finally hits and they hand you your baby you don’t want to instinctively bounce pass it to a nurse who’s making a backdoor cut.

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

I thought the umbilical cord was in the front. DAMN YOU MIDDLE SCHOOL SEX ED! WHAT ELSE HAVE YOU LIED TO ME ABOUT?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Now I’m picturing Verne Lundquist gushing over litre_cola committing a frightful act of child abuse “the right way”.

litre_cola

1st generation Canadian, fam from Scotland so yeah, pretty caucasian. Fulham will win tomorrow!

blaxabbath

Baylor’s athletic department deserves the death penalty. But since it’s more fun for the media to focus on their successes that came as a result of “alternative recruiting methods”, let’s just focus on that.

But, you know, blame Trump.

LemonJello

Are we talking Xyklon-B type death penalty or just no mo’sprots? It is the darkest timeline Trumpian future after all.

blaxabbath

Go ahead and shut the entire thing down. That’s fine.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, I’m supposed to blame Trump for a bunch of hypocritical fundamentalist Christians who value “success” over actual, you know, “Christian” values? Apparently I’ve been doing it backwards.

blaxabbath

exactly.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Of course, “doing it backwards” is a good way for young unmarried Christian fundamentalistas to avoid pesky pregnancies when giving in to their sinful, sinful urges.

blaxabbath

Had a friend in college who lived in a condo complex w/a lot of LDS students. It seems that anal is actually alright — saving themselves just meant saving the V for marriage.

I need to find me a LDS chick.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Great, now I’m thinking about a “Catholic High School Girls in Trouble” type film with the tagline “They may be Christian…but they’re not Saints.”

Unsurprised

Kentucky Fried Movie is available on Amazon Prime, BTW.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If I died and got involved in a hilarious afterlife mix-up with a jihadi suicide bomber, I’d ask for my seventy-two virgins to come from the ranks of the USC Song Girls.

And then it would be like jury selection as girl after girl bashfully asks “does Mark Sanchez count?”

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I find it hilarious you think any of them are virgins

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Why would I think that any of those young women are any different than I was at nineteen years old?

LemonJello

“If you don’t count anal and oral, then: yes. I’m saving myself for marriage, you know – I’ve got the purity (clit) ring to prove it!”

-Jenipher, class of 2018

Unsurprised

I mean, it sucks because I cannot ever recall NMSU making it past the first round but if there were ever a time when I need them to it’s right fucking now.

litre_cola

Fuck, did not know Oregon had a boo boo on rebound man. Baylor will win on pure rapeyness alone. THEY DO IT FOR JESUS!!!

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Yeah, i installed a new Captcha and it was bugging.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Had to have been it. GRAMMAR.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It refused it because your comment was inadequate.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Should be all good now.

Unsurprised

Go Aggies! Boo, rapists!

laserguru

Yep. Still in sleep walk mode.

laserguru

At least I can narrow down my viewing options today. I found out that Reggie Drooling Fucking Mongoloid Miller is on the TruTV crew today.
I swear I would rather listen to Buck and McCarver call a game than that goddamn potato head.

laserguru

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/artist rendition

The Right Reverend Electric Mayhem

Hey! Tone it down with the Irish slurs! And on St. Patrick’s Day no less..

laserguru

As a fellow member of “Bog Trotting Nation” I’m allowed.

Unsurprised

Jesus Christ. That’s brutally funny.

Even Spike is baffled by him
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Keep going, Reg.comment image

Bloody Lethal

So let me get this straight. There was an Emma Watson thing on Wednesday night and I totally missed it?!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d0gLnfSgdLA

ballsofsteelandfury

Yes, I’m still pissed that people were tasteful on this here site and did not link to any pictures.

I thought i knew y’all….

Unsurprised

I can if you would like. I kind of feel bad for looking, but I’m only human.

There are also Amanda Seyfried sex act pics.