Reminder: the Draft is three weeks today.
NFL News:
-
Beastmode will become a Raider, probably sometime before the draft.
- John Schneider says his relationship with Raiders GM Reggie McKenzie – from their collective time in Green Bay – will ensure things are handled “in a smooth manner,”
- either by release or minimally-invasive trade of a late-round pick
- Should Lynch come out of retirement, he is in line for a salary-cap hit of $9 million in 2017 and a base salary of $7 million in 2018.
- if he’s released rather than traded, then the Raiders can negotiate a cheaper deal against their cap
- their preferred option is release
- currently, the Raiders have $33 million in cap space for 2017
- if he’s released rather than traded, then the Raiders can negotiate a cheaper deal against their cap
- John Schneider says his relationship with Raiders GM Reggie McKenzie – from their collective time in Green Bay – will ensure things are handled “in a smooth manner,”
- If the Seahawks do trade Richard Sherman, the price is expected to be a player & a pick
- the player will have to cost less than the $13.6 million Sherman now costs on the Seattle cap
- because the Seahawks only have $10 million in cap space left for 2017
- Seattle has 10 players taking up 61 percent of its cap space, counting for a total of $101.26 million on the ’17 cap
- the player will have to cost less than the $13.6 million Sherman now costs on the Seattle cap
- As expected, Aaron Hernandez did not testify in his own defence, and his lawyer wrapped up his case Wednesday.
- Closing arguments today came down to:
- Prosecution: Hernandez killed two men because he had “an illogical sense of being disrespected.”
- Defence: Hernandez’s former friend, Alexander Bradley, killed the two men over a drug deal.
- Closing arguments today came down to:
Finally, Florio has started the idol-worship of the now non-retired-but-released Tony Romo by positing “The Romo 13”, in the vein of “The Brady 6”. Here are some of those names:
- Carson Palmer (drafted #1 overall – Bengals)
- Byron Leftwich
- Kyle Boller
- Rex Grossman
- Chris Simms – son of the man he’s replacing at CBS, and likely the reason Florio put this list together
Your long-form read of the day comes from The Economist and the New York Times, and marks the 100th Anniversary of the US joining World War One – April 6, 1917. They draws parallels to today’s presidential administrations, and discuss how that war marked the emergence of the modern American state, setting the stage for the 20th century being the age of America.
The war is a pretty big deal up here right now. Canada begins commemorating the 100th anniversary of Vimy Ridge this weekend. The battle, between April 9-12, was 6-months in planning by Lord Byng, and was fought by all-Canadian forces. It took in a weekend what the British & French hadn’t conquered in two years, and set the stage for Canada to begin truly emerging from its colonial status. This memorial
stands at Vimy Ridge, on land ceded by France to Canada in tribute to the men who sacrificed their lives in that battle. You can’t go too far off to the sides, however,
as it’s estimated it will take 700 years for all the ordinance to work its way to the surface.
Here’s a pretty good gif of the conflict as it escalated. Note how Canada is not considered an independent country at this time.
Maybe spend part of your evening, or weekend, reading a little history.
I realize “Sexy Friday” is both not my topic and on Fridays, but it’s been a long day. I was supposed to get layoff notice at 10:45 AM today, which will cost me the job that’s allowed me time to do these daily threads, but the announcement was instead changed to “the three sites will be amalgamated into one”. The best-case is that I still get the lay-off and one-year’s pay; the worst-case is that I don’t get it & get sent to the remaining location to teach courses I don’t know, and if I quit I get nothing.
So forgive me for crossing a line before I go home and spend the weekend emptying my liquor cabinet. But the first images of Netflix’s “G.L.O.W” series were released today, and that’s just too important to pass up.
In case you’d forgotten what the 80s looked like, gaze upon its full majesty:
The show stars Alison Brie.
and I don’t care after that. Also, I’m throwing in these two just to feel a bit better.
The defence rests. It premieres June 23rd.
Don’t forget to pour one out for Don Rickles.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bv4OMsTUptA
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Penguins at Devils – 7:00PM | Sportsnet360
- Senators at Bruins – 7:00PM | NBCSN
- possible first-round matchup
- Blackhawks at Ducks – 10:00PM | NBCSN
- Flames at Kings – 10:30PM | Sportsnet
- NBA:
- Celtics at Hawks – 8:00PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
- Timberwolves at Trail Blazers – 10:30PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
- NCAA:
- Men’s hockey – Frozen Four semi-finals:
- Harvard vs. Minnesota (Duluth) – 6:00PM | ESPN2
- Notre Dame vs. Denver – 9:30PM | ESPN2
- Men’s hockey – Frozen Four semi-finals:
- Soccer:
- Women’s International Friendly Soccer: U.S. vs. Russia – 8:30PM | FS1
COME TO ME, MY ALCOHOL!
[…] Your “Dull Sideshow Full of Quacks and Clowns and Philistines” Thursday Evening Open Thr… […]
We have a new receptionist who has an incredible ass and likes to wear lulu lemon pants. In honour of her. . .
http://68.media.tumblr.com/6274a2e6958f4b747c62c271908b9c90/tumblr_nldi3anQJF1te61b7o1_r1_500.gif
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_armed_groups_in_the_Syrian_Civil_War
Jesus titty fucking Christ:
https://twitter.com/bubbaprog/status/850204332758716420
Good thing America doesn’t have government controlled media in their country, eh?
Fuck Brian Williams.
And so it begins. . .
“#BREAKING US strikes in Syria ‘aggression against sovereign state’: Kremlin”
http://img.izismile.com/img/img7/20140731/1000/sporting_girls_that_make_fitness_look_sexy_46.gif
Syria?
Hmm?
Is it wrong that the first thing that came to mind was this?
Only if you’re the President…
I’ve got this thing that I have to say.
I have this friend, My boy from New Orleans who’s now in San Antonio for what reason I have no fucking clue.
I linked to his go fund me page last year here and it felt weird but I still did it anyway because this guy is a really cool cat and used to work with my brother DJ Taj in sports talk radio in Memphis.
He’s been in our fantasy baseball and football leagues for over 10 years and is one of the most active and most shit talkingest guys.
We toured the 9th Ward with him after Katrina. He was live on air when it hit.
He’s been battling colon and bladder cancer for about 5 years.
3 bouts of chemo and radiation and surgery.
He was getting better.
Then he wasn’t.
It’s back and he said, “You know what? I’m good.”
He got a med card, blazed up, walked outside for the first time in months, had a fucking meal and said this is the best he’s felt in years.
Doctors say without treatment he won’t make it until Christmas.
He’s going out on his own terms.
Don’t be sad for me or him, just honor the fight this fierce motherfucker gave.
He said to me, since he’s so fucking active in our fantasy leagues, “If you notice that I haven’t been rotating in my starting pitchers you’ll know why.
Cheers Dan!
Awesome attitude. If only more of us had that level of insight/direction.
He’s still a damn good man.
Totally hear you. I think that’s tonight’s theme.
Great attitude to have! I knew a guy like that. He did the same thing as your friend. He ended up living close to 10 years before he finally passed. I’m not saying this will happen to your friend, but, sometimes doctors know and sometimes they don’t know, ya know?
Que bella
http://pixxxels.org/image/a3vqy0ab1/
Anyone want to expand our three man 7 card stud table?
This is mind-blowing when you remember that Twitter’s investors would’ve fucking abandoned that sinking shitheap ship by now if Trump weren’t still on their stupid fucking site.
https://twitter.com/th3j35t3r/status/850077279527022592
Don’t forget that our nuclear arsenal is currently being maintained by a fucking retarded Texan. We’re fucked.
https://vine.co/v/5njIt5EaLUA/card?api=1
From the 25 Questions
Y’all hiring?
WWIII trumps WWI Centenary
I have such an overriding hatred for war, the military, and everyone associated with it at this point that I really just want everything to end in flames.
I was honestly expecting something different from the masters:
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-p_CamwvjQ-Y/UUzFZTZDKJI/AAAAAAAADlU/KSy6HYFHgwk/s1600/The+Masters.jpg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRsPheErBj8
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z4V8iH-oQgg
I keep buying beers without reading the descriptions all the way to the end. I thought this was a plum sour, and it’s a plum sour STOUT. WTF?
I did that last week but it was a happy accident. It was an imperial brown ale but I didn’t finish reading to see the part about apples and I never would have bought it if I had. I’m generally not a fan of fruit beers except for citrus, but holy shit was it good. Too sweet for more than one bomber, but damn good.
https://www.beeradvocate.com/beer/profile/31805/99997/
I just want you to know before we’re all consumed by nuclear hellfire that I wasted my life and I hate everything.
and this video is almost ten years old
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMdPYya3IoA
Former Congressman, and current deadbeat dad, Joe Walsh, who spent the entire Drumpf campaign pounding it’s drum, is having a real crisis of identity tonight.
https://twitter.com/WalshFreedom
Poor snowflake needs a safe space.
I just hope he fucking dies.
MSNBC right now: zero questioning of the military strike. Good lord. Chris Matthews actually said the ‘US likes short wars.’ What in the holy shit is he talking about?
Both political parties should be shot for going to war without a fucking investigation as to who actually used the gas.
Every talking head I’ve heard tonight has tripped over his own dick to proclaim that it was the right decision regardless of whatever other point they had to say. Literally no one has the balls to question an opening volley. Erroring on the side of righteous war has become the calling card of the American media.
To be fair, no one wants to be FOR standing idly by as innocent children are gassed, but that includes not thinking through another possible quagmire in the region
Well, it’s either Assad or the jihadi rebels the Americans bankrolled fighting Assad, who also recently declared war against America after America killed 200 in Iraq.
Regardless, it’s not going to be a short war and the Democrats piggybacking on this is ridiculous.
Al Qaeda. That group is called Al Qaeda.
It has a nice ring to it, but I doubt we’ll hear anything more from them.
America fighting a proxy war against itself has been one of the more fascinating aspects of the Syrian civil war.
I was building to that!
Let me be clear: I hate (HATE) that our sitting president is willing to bomb a country because he was shown pictures of dying children, but not affected enough to let it inconvenience him in America. There’s no shortage of images of wounded/dead/dying Syrian children trying to escape this shit, but he gets raucous applause for telling them they’re not allowed here, a point he reiterated during his visit with the king of Jordan. That shit doesn’t inform his decision making, but something he can do that makes him look good and he doesn’t have to see up close? All fucking day. The hypocrisy involved from all sides drives me crazy. Defund the peace corps and use Doctors without Borders hospitals like bait traps (A bipartisan policy!), and all that bullshit, but launch missiles as soon as you have a photogenic excuse and give a big thumbs up so everyone sees what a good Christian you are. The mainstream of both parties are going to rally around it, and we’ll do the same bullshit we always do.
FUCK CHRIS MATTHEWS RIGHT IN THE EAR WITH AN ICEPICK.
Man’s Best Friend
Somehow, I don’t think Netflix will cover the part about Tiffany Million going into porn after her career ended.
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KnxoShjxRwY/TiB4_OTfJjI/AAAAAAAAU9U/A3wg5Kmoy_Q/s1200/SweetTarget.jpg
I don’t think a biological human face is supposed to trigger the uncanny valley.
Also kind of reminds me of Taya Valkyrie of indy wrestling fame:
http://dragonrana.ucoz.org/_ph/54/2/174494337.jpg
I don’t give many recommendations for banner quotes, but damn this is great
DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE I CAN FIND A GOOD DROUGHT BECAUSE I’M SICK OF BROCKY LIVING ON THE RIVER ALSO COME PLAY POKER AND SEND BRICK FOR HELP TURNING OFF CAPS LOCK END TRANSMISSION
emails, am i right?
I can’t do the emails meme because a normal human being would have been thrown under the prison for it. Also, she literally called for targeted airstrikes earlier today. There’s a billion ways she’s better than Trump. War isn’t one of them.
Glad they chose my town for this.
http://www.metronews.ca/news/calgary/2017/04/06/insane-clown-posse-pick-calgary-for-first-ever-canadian-juggalo-.html?platform=hootsuite
Better load up on Faygo and penicillin.
Whatever they’ve all got just chews up Penicillin.
I recommend walking around with a whole bunch of magnets and charging $5 for demonstrations about how the fuck they work.
http://pa1.narvii.com/5796/3e27d9ccc03637080db91fab2896d55c7c8844eb_hq.gif
I remain a long-time supporter of George Carlin’s Gold Courses For The Homeless plan, but I feel we’ve found yet another much better use of the land.
Doctor Octopus really wasted his technological advantage.
Did he, or did he use it to his best capabilities?