Your “Okay, NOW the Browns Are On The Clock!” Thursday Evening Open Thread

It’s seven days until the Draft.

NFL News:

  • Season schedules are scheduled for release at 8:00PM ET today.
    • Chargers – Broncos is rumoured to be the late-Monday Night game.
  • On the QB unemployment line:
    • TIME has named Colin Kaepernick one of its 100 Influential People of 2017, despite him being interesting in 2016.
      • his blurb was written by Jim Harbaugh, because Chip Kelly probably found out Kaep’s not Hawaiian, and Jim Tomsula was late because the 8:37 from Topeka was delayed.
    • Ryan Fitzpatrick is excited for his “next opportunity”, wherever that is.
      • Jay Cutler is still on vacation.
    • future member Kirk Cousins wants to be wanted. He also doesn’t want to be franchise tagged anymore.
  • On the active QB front, Eli Manning’s denying fraud allegations in a case over memorabilia.
    • an email in question shows Eli asking the Giants’ equipment manager for “two helmets that can pass as game used.”
      • the plaintiffs allege it means the gear wasn’t game-worn
      • Eli contends he was asking for game-day equipment that looked worn.
  • Sean Payton provided a victim-impact statement at the sentencing hearing for Cardell Hayes, the guy who shot former Saint Will Smith last year in a road-rage incident.
    • Payton talked about how Smith was going to join his staff in 2016, and about his rare qualities as a human being.
    • Hayes faces 60 years in jail for manslaughter & weapons charges.
  • Bills offensive tackle Cyrus Kouandjio might have discovered bath salts, or an undiagnosed menatl condition may have surfaced.


Canada 150:

On this day we remember to smoke weed for Hitler, other things also happened.

April 20, 1989 – much to the chagrin of its strippers and waiters, Canada printed its last $1 bills.

We have the loonie now. Don’t toss them at the dancers.

April 20, 1968 – Pierre Elliott Trudeau succeeds Lester B. Pearson as the 15th Prime Minister of Canada.

Seen here with future PM Justin.

Pierre replaced the resigning Lester Pearson as both Liberal leader and Prime Minister, who seemed happier than a pig in shit to be leaving.

There’s actually 4 PMs in this photo;l we just didn’t know it yet.

Two months later, Pierre would ride a wave of “Trudeaumania” to a majority government, something that had eluded the milquetoast Pearson his entire tenure.

Trudeau would be Prime Minister, with only minor interruption, from 1968-84. During the course of his tenure, he withstood the FLQ, patriated the Constitution & created the Charter of Rights, and also managed to fuck both Barbra Streisand and Kim Cattrall.

  

This one, not the coug’d out version your girlfriend or mother knows.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NFL: regular-season schedule release – 8:00PM | NFL Network / the internet
  • NHL:
    • Rangers at Canadiens – 7:00PM | USA / CBC                            (Series tied 2-2)
    • CBJ at Penguins – 7:00PM | NHL Network / Sportsnet               (Penguins lead 3-1)
    • Blackhawks at Predators – 8:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet360     (Nashville leads 3-0)
    • Sharks at Oilers – 10:30PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet                      (Series tied 2-2)
  • NBA:
    • Cavaliers at Pacers – 7:00PM | TNT
    • Raptors at Bucks – 8:00PM | TSN
    • Spurs at Grizzlies – 9:30PM | TNT

GO-GO NFL SCHEDULE!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I have to say I like movie promotion more when they aren’t expected to be big, where they do like 10 panels that last 30 min a piece like GotG vol 1 with almost no spoilers compared to the garbage 2 minute segments that the sequel gets from all the entertainment shows now that explicitly have the people questioning saying very specific shit we didn’t need to know before we saw the film. Vin Diesel going into a 20 minute rant on one of them last time about a D&D character was great. Dick VanDouchebag from “Billy Bush got fired and I was here” explaining a major scene previously not known then saying “Wasn’t that great?” not as good.

Unsurprised

Should I watch Fargo season 3? It’s been good, but eh …

Wakezilla

Ho.Lee. Shit.

I cant believe they’re really doing the “Russia did Benghazi to set up Clinton” thing

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Unsurprised

Ah, the other Idiot Shoe dropped.

Wakezilla

LOL Hawks

Edit: It’s not my night. Another gif not working. Here’s something else

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Wakezilla

Happy Sexy Friday to those living East of the Western time zone, mannnnnnnn.

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
Wakezilla

“watermarks”

Wakezilla

Ice Eskimos win!

Edit: Stupid newspaper using weird coding, making the link not work.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Well at least I can finish this frigging post now.
Jeebus.

Mr. Ayo

So sexy

theeWeeBabySeamus

I thought that thing was never gonna end and kinda wanted ’em both to lose after a while.

Wakezilla

Sexy Friday: A tribute to sexy ice hockey fans?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ha. Not a bad idea.
But no, not this week.

Wakezilla

Boooooo!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry man. Other than adding the sports it’s already written. Not starting over now, lol.
There’ll be time.

Wakezilla

I’m just giving you a hard time.

Is the theme, sexy Browns fans?

http://dailyupperdecker.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/Screen-Shot-2014-09-21-at-6.16.37-PM.png

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow, I’m amazed you got it on the 2nd guess. I’m impressed.
😉

Unsurprised

Oh fuck. I’m stupid. I also need to email CB back.

Wakezilla

Ice 49ers have a horseshoe up their ass. This game should have been over about 6 different times in the past 2 minutes

litre_cola

They look tired.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And panicked.

Brick Meathook

How to tell if your son is a cross dresser:
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Wakezilla

Kim Cattrall is by far the best.

But don’t forget Pierre Trudeau also banged Lois Lane, aka Margot Kidder
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Bonus Hockey.
woooo-ish

WCS

Holy piss, Ice Gretzkys.

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Wakezilla

Ice Eskimos tie the game up with 2:46 left.

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Mr. Ayo

Canada, redeemed!

laserguru
Wakezilla

Fucking Ice football. Only this sport do they go out of their way to let their starts get murdered by plugs that nobody would give a shit if they disappeared from the NHL mid-game.

Imagine hearing ESPN say something like: “If I were *Insert team with great defense here*, I’d have a d-lineman hit *insert franchise and NFL marquee QB here* late every play and take my chances that I won’t get a roughing the passer on every play.

That would sound bananas and the analyst would probably get neck AIDS or something for even suggesting the thing.

In the NHL, that’s called gamesmenship.

Brocky

So, i heard some penguin fans ragging on the blackhawks again, the “patrick kane is rapitst” joke came up again, long story short, I was googling for counterarguments and came up with this gem:

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Someone put a LOT of effort into this ELITE meme lol

WCS