We Now Interrupt Your Draft FOAR Chelsea’s Last (Small) Chance To Lose…

King Hippo -
210

That’s right, fuckers.  2/3 of CNBC/NBCSN’s Sunday triple-header are where it’s at this week.  Everton and Romelu Lukaku will seek to avenge a dreadful trip to Stanford Bridge when they host the League leaders (9:05, CNBC).  A draw can always happen, so a Toffee result opens the door for some late drama, though Spurs getting through their gauntlet unscathed is quite unlikely.

Speaking of which, they host rejuvenated Arsenal (11:30, NBCSN) immediately afterwards.  Knowing whether Everton have done them a favour or not.  White Hart Lane will ever be hopping or depressed as fuck.  Sunday Funday should be worth your time this week.

Saturday?  Eh…not so much.  The 10:00 window features Hull, of relegation scrap infamy, invading Southampton (NBCSN).  Leicester at West Brom is the only other watchable option, really (CNBC or Extra Time, unclear).

Palace and Burnley at 12:30 (NBC)?  PASS.  Watch the fookin’ Draft.

Oh yeah, the early Sunday match has Swans (also in the shit for relegation) at Old Trafford, so if you’re up, tune in (7:00, CNBC).

Apologies for the shit preview.  I’m still mad as a hornet about the Bolles pick.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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scotchnaut

/2020 draft

“The Cowboys are on the clock”

[close up of Jerry Jones]

“With the third pick of the second round, uhh… I pick that running back from ‘Bama”

[camera pans out]

[Hitomi Tanaka is blowing Jerry]

Rich Eisen: “Excellent presentation, Jerry! Now let’s go over to Danny Snyder…”

Snyder: [is fucking a feral cat] “WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE??? CUT! CUT! CUT!”

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The paw betray me.

http://68.media.tumblr.com/91a7c943082ecb368419456252dbc773/tumblr_om1xo36scy1uuyy36o1_500.gif

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laserguru

Denver gets Butt!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://www.nfl.com/draft/2017/profiles/jake-butt?id=2557859

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...

I really wish his first name was Dick.

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King Hippo

whut whut??

/reasonably good pick, like Henderson at 82

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scotchnaut

Giants drafting Gallman tells me that LaGarrette signing is a done deal.

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King Hippo

ain’t they the same type runner?

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scotchnaut

He’s listed at 210 as far as I know. Blount is a banger at 235. Am I mistaken?

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King Hippo

He’s always been more of an inside runner at Clemson. Not a breakaway speed dude.

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scotchnaut

If 210 (yes, he’ll get bigger) is his weight he’s not going to push guys backward at this level is what I was getting at.

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King Hippo

This fair point. G-men like committees anyway, could use Galman early downs, Perkins on 3rd downs and in 2-minute drill, Blount for goal line/short yardage…

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scotchnaut

It may not be the way he will be used going forward but Perkins is fantastic at finding running lanes.

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King Hippo

I would just give him 20-25 touches and make Galman the backup, but I sense they are reluctant to give PP a real load (PHRASING!!)

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Assuming he makes the team. Even if he does he is probably special teams until he works his way into the lineup.

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Don T

I don’t care what the Wonderlic says. You can’t deny the genius stock.
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King Hippo

OK, I laughed. 😀

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King Hippo

I know the Chefs always win 10 games under Andy and Cap’n Checkdown…but they offseason and draft make no sense whatever to me.

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scotchnaut

“That is a REALLY big forehead.”

-Peyton, looking at Josh Dobbs

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laserguru

Weekend forecast calls for sunny skies mid 70’s and 100% chance of grilling.

Hello carne asada my old friend.

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Bloody Lethal

+ Wiffle Ball
+ Beer

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laserguru

Oh yes, beer is most definitely in the forecast. Right after I walk to the gym to work off last night’s beer.

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Shogun Marcus

The Sound of Sizzle?

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...

So Trubisky and Gravy was booed when he appeared at the United Center for the Bulls final whimper of the season. The Bulls’s fanbase is probably the only one more self-loathing than the Bears, so that was a fucking great way to debut him.

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King Hippo

I like that The Giraffe will now become the tragic hero figure in all this. WOO!!!

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Don T

Now that’s mah kind of angel.

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...

I actually think Fox and Pace have secure enough jobs that they can resist the Call of the Meatball to play Trubisky this season. While I don’t like this pick or its cost, I think they’re using the right strategy to develop a quarterback who probably needs it.

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laserguru

Totally agree on the self – loathing Bulls fans.
If they would have given us an easier to like team it would have been a whole lot more palatable.

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...

From what I gather, the disillusionment is mostly aimed at a front office they think can’t do much right. It’s pretty much where the Cubs were circa 2010-2011.

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laserguru

Theo needs a second job!

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scotchnaut

Here’s your fandom in a nutshell-I peruse a few Giants fan sites and there was a strong consensus that the TE and OL spots needed to be upgraded. (because NYG is headed to the Super Bowl btw)

[Evan Engram, a tight end that ran a 4.42 40 is drafted]

“A TIGHT END IN THE FIRST ROUND!???? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE? I MOCKED JOHNNY SUPERSTUD IN THIS SPOT. JESUS CHRIST!!!”

FIN

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice summation.

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King Hippo

Evan Engram be good, yo.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://cjzero.com/gifs/AngryCowboysFans.gif

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scotchnaut

Browns make their pick from an amusement park…

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scotchnaut

It’s been a few months but I think I’m finally coming back to a good place mentally-the sun is shining, there’s tons of things to do outside yet I’m here yakking it up with you guys.

#home

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laserguru

Good to have you back Scotchy. Those damn Canadian winters eh?

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scotchnaut

Thanks. I can’t express in words how much I despise snowsuits…

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Our lives have been darker for absence of scotch(y).

For seriously, though, you’re one of the funniest dudes on here.

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Brick Meathook

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scotchnaut

I’m so old that I remember when Ogden was drafted and the consensus was that he could easily put 60 pounds onto his frame.

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King Hippo

Indeed!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Yes, but probably sooner than she’d like.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, to be fair; I could put this 110 lbs. on my frame and I would be happy.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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http://www.nfl.com/draft/2017/profiles/carl-lawson?id=2557901

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Bloody Lethal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cScHwPxxLfI

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://68.media.tumblr.com/de5d4dc4404170ff3dfab792b890346b/tumblr_onbbeo0f2m1w289ieo2_1280.jpg

Which HP movie was this from??

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Horatio Cornblower

Harry Potter & The Broken Condom Followed By Three Days Of Panic Until She Gets Her Period

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King Hippo

Redacteds get Perine. SIGH.

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scotchnaut

I’m hearing that them and the Cowboys are having good drafts-I don’t like that.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Even if players turn out average this draft was a success; see Drew Pearson’s pick announcement.

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scotchnaut

I read about it-that was mighty spicy.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

it was nice and trollie.

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King Hippo

ok, the Niners gave Donks something in Draft for Kapri Bibbs. Why? Who knows…

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fourth round MAGIC at 126.

Go Donks; hopefully they trust their big board AND it elicits a Hippo temper tantrum!

http://68.media.tumblr.com/e2dc1d35e7f65e804dc0efa79dc3b054/tumblr_ooid6jAeZ71w3udj4o1_400.gif

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King Hippo

TOO hungover, sorry. They could have got the 6th round “talent” they took yesterday today (still a reach) and had Perine instead. We shall see which non-descript back they bring in instead…

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There we go; complete certainty in regards to the lack of knowledge.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

‘Member when Terrell Davis was labeled a “non-descript back”?

You probably don’t.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fun Fact: When they shot Aaron Rodgers’ latest State Farm commercial, it took 87 takes before they got something they could use cause he kept Freudian slipping and saying “Fire Island”.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://68.media.tumblr.com/00bb4e2466f2c050f2e052450d3cc57b/tumblr_oois98mTvg1roqv59o1_500.png

Used to?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Tell that to my girlfriend.”

– Hawkins from Predator

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King Hippo

Kittle is the TE I like.

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King Hippo

Who is the weirdo Liberace/Jay Leno hybrid announcing the Minny pick??

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King Hippo

KEEP PISSING, Moose Lady!!! We are barely alive (again).

/Elway will take a long snapper

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King Hippo

I went out on a limb for DAK! last year, this year’s version is Perine.

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King Hippo

Lispy McGee is tipped, they taking Perine. HIPPO ANGRY

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Brocky

i had two beers last night and my stomach is on fire.

wtf body

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King Hippo

welcome to getting old, it only gets worse

/had 3 beer, intermittently having unsatisfactory shits since 9

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Brocky

I bet it had more to do with me mixing cheap beer with slightly less cheap beer

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King Hippo

it can be two things

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King Hippo

SEE the BPA by far, fucking Equine Lord and Saviour?? HE DOESN’T HAVE A GODDAMNED 6th ROUND GRADE!!!!!

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King Hippo

not MOAR this goddamned song

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King Hippo

I mean, if the P*ts played the Iggles right now….I’d be neutral

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King Hippo

SCOTT MUTHAFUCKIN’ HANSEN!!!!

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King Hippo

well, they said his name, but I don’t see him. Must still be getting the beak.

/that’s Brit-speak FOAR “booger sugar” (as my haircutter lady calls cocaine), we use Lesser Footy terms in mah Saturday open daily

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://68.media.tumblr.com/7583c6ddacc0c9b375752ca24e57631e/tumblr_oogfwvPAfD1ttcadgo1_1280.jpg

Dress made for hot weather for ventilation of the sweaty undertit region.

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King Hippo

Talk about a fall from grace…David Moyes, when he got “too good for Everton.”

Fired from Man Utd after less than a year, immediately after losing the double to his former club (the first such double in Premiership history, to the singing of “Are you watching, are you watching, arrrrrrrrre you watching, David Moyes??”) 2-nil, went to Spain, fired there in less than HALF a season, waits a full year unemployed, then takes the Black Cats down for the first time in a decade.

tl;dr…GFY, you dour ginger Scottish cunt

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Don T

He’s the Scottish Herm Edwards.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I like the simmering hatred.
+1

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Bloody Lethal

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King Hippo

Misery porn – watching the home stadium of a side confirmed to relegation. Even though Sunderland have been doomed for weeks.

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King Hippo

DFO Saturday. There Will Be Ladies Peeing.

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King Hippo

almost a winner for the Tiggers, but NOPE

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King Hippo

holy cats, what a penalty save by Hull

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Bloody Lethal

HI.

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King Hippo

mornin!

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King Hippo

methinks Moose breaks fast better than the rest of us.

/am just trying to shit away mah hangover ,, smgdh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is just what I want, not what I ate. Made me hungry, so I thought I’d punish you as well.

Taco’s name is Taco. He’s a top-5 pick simply because of that fact.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

King Hippo’s relatives when you ask about his high school years?

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Fronkenshteen

Why are the sprinklers always on immediately before and during halftime of every Premier League match? It’s England for chrissakes! The ground isn’t wet enough?

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charles martins bodyslam clinic

This doesn’t slip!

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ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve noticed that too! La Liga does this as well as most leagues. I’m guessing it’s to clean up the spit from the players…

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Is this the draft thread for day 3? My team sold most of its on picks day one but picked up a few for today last night. I will probably only turn in around when the Bears are picking to watch their highlight reels on there and then just go online and find out better information and highlight reels on who the person is.

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King Hippo

it’s open, so it certainly can be if nobody puts anything more topical up

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://iameviltebow.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/7MelKiperJr.jpg

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charles martins bodyslam clinic

No worries, I’d be upset too if a horse was in charge of drafting for my team.

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King Hippo

He’d better be checking any apples he gets in the post pretty careful if’n he knows what’s good fer him.

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charles martins bodyslam clinic

In Mr. Ed We Trust

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Do you not like teh Butt?

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Fronkenshteen

Morning gents! How goes the draft? I don’t watch enough college football to even pretend to know a good pick from a kumquat. I can only assume the Jets are doing it ALL WRONG as usual.

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King Hippo

Instead of Samaje Perine, the last decent RB left…and the ONLY one I wanted…Denver took a CB from Lamar! with a 6th round grade at 101. I swear Lispy McGee almost said “bless his heart” before recovering with “little earlier than I expected.”

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

He might last or there might be someone else. I don’t watch a ton of college football but enough big 10 to know Jordan Howard was a lot more talented than his ranking which I believe had a lot of people had him even undrafted. We got him for a steal in the 5th and he broke franchise rookie records.

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King Hippo

my title-winning fantasy team sure enjoyed him. Stashed him when he was still 3rd team, used DFO Bear folk as sounding board!!

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Unsurprised

I’m still up.

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