Your “Building Readership One Coupling At A Time” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

 

First off, a hearty congrats to litre_cola on the arrival of little deci, and sunrisesunrise on the arrival of little redskyatdawn.

  

THAT’S GOOD HUSTLE!


NFL News:

  • Jed York apparently wants to settle differences with Jim Harbaugh, and thinks a fancy dinner will do it.
    • Given how hard it is for Jim to not wear khakis, it’ll be funny to see Jedward scooping from the salad table at Golden Corral
  • Justin Forsett retired, after 6 years, 820 rushes for 3,890 yards and 19 touchdowns.
  • A good perspective on the ramification of the Bears picking Mighty Morphin’ Mitch Trubisky is the effect it had on the Titans at #5, and how it pooched some of their planning for trading their pick, and resulted in them making picks they hadn’t planned on.
    • Because when I think “Tennessee Titans”, I think multiple gameplans.
  • The Raiders have purchased the land for their stadium in Las Vegas.
    • $77.5 million for a 62-acre chunk of land that sits just across the highway & west of the south end of the Las Vegas Strip, near Mandalay Bay.
    • all they need before initiating construction is FAA clearance, since the stadium will be in a flight path to McCarran.
    • In case you are having trouble with your geography:


Finally, proving there’s no better disinfectant or soundproofing than success, Robert Kraft put other teams’ animosity towards the Patriots down to just pure jealousy.

  • Speaking at Bloomberg Breakaway, a summit for business leaders in New York, he called the Deflategate violation “nonsense and foolishness.”
    • he then made reference to other owners, saying “Envy and jealousy are incurable diseases.” He followed up by noting “our competitors, I understand how they brought pressure on the league office to be very strong and not compromise on an issue that was nonsense and foolishness.”

  • He also took a steaming dump on this year’s draft, remarking that “just think about the draft that just occurred and what went on in the first few rounds. See how people traded so much value just to get up and get a quarterback. And here was a guy (Brady) who was the last pick in the sixth round. And all of these gurus who we spend millions of dollars on scouting and everything … How everybody missed him is just … It’s really amazing.”

In conclusion:


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Capitals at Penguins – 7:30PM | NBCSN / CBC
    • Ducks at Oilers – 10:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Raptors at Cavaliers – 7:00PM | TNT / Sportsnet
    • Rockets at Spurs – 9:30PM | TNT / TSN
  • MLB:
    • Blue Jays at Yankees – 7:00PM | ESPN / Sportsnet1
    • Orioles at Red Sox – 7:00PM | TSN2

Yahoo! Answers really is a treasure trove of trolling.

I’VE BEEN HATING THE WRONG PEOPLE!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

The site keeps saying I am blocked because I am terrible. Finally got in, what is {shit i forgot who is helping out with security now} doing now?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

I’m watching Fargo and I am thinking that it’s safer being a cynical asshole, but being a sucker seems kind of fun until everything blows up.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

On a separate note, seeing Hank Azaria punch out a man at the mere mention of Joe Buck has definitely added to the wholesome joy of this day.

Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Papa Joe vs. Giant Potato

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I don’t know if I want to read past this headline, which I actually managed to facepalm at.

“Carson Wentz Takes His Offensive Line Hunting, Apparently Neglects To Show Them Proper Gun Safety”

Senor Weaselo
Member

Well that was a quick overtime.

litre_cola
Member

The wishes of every hooker.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Oh fuck, it’s Wednesday.

Don T
Member

Was. Living in Pacific time would rock.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

It has its benefits

litre_cola
Member

Mountain best. I brag about nothing except that. Lived in many. Mountain best.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I guess Denver’s okay, but I can’t think of many reasons to live anywhere that is on MST.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Yeah, the Satellite of Love would suck, being forced to watch all those movies.

litre_cola
Member

I am not cheering for the cities in this here timezone. It is fantastic for times though. Denver IS an excellent city though, minus the white extremism.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I grew up in Mountain but I’ve become quite partial to Pacific.

Don T
Member

Hmm… Early Sunday games start at 11:00 AM. The night games at 6:30. All have ended and been discussed by 12 AM.
You, sir, are on to something.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I drowned my drunkenness in coffee because I’m dumb.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

So Mariota might not be the future of the Titans? And no one in Tennessee thought that even suggesting that would cause Chip Kelly to offer the entire fucking 49ers roster in return for a trade?

litre_cola
Member

Does chip think he is full white?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Nah, but he coached Mariota at Oregon.

Don T
Member

If I were a Wikipedia editor, I’d rectify all entries for numbers:

3 – prime number, bad speller

35 – lame-o

102 – musky brat

69 – grow up

Senor Weaselo
Member

Litre gets to keep Deci!

litre_cola
Member

Phew

Senor Weaselo
Member

“Hey honey, so… it’s a funny story, but…” -What would have been Litre’s last words

litre_cola
Member

He is shipping out in 2 weeks babe

Don T
Member

“There was a cost for the Titans too: as a result, the Bears destroyed the draft board and eliminated Tennessee being able to move down in a trade. ”

Yeah, the Tits had to make do in the 1st round with a huge WR who has the most NCAA receiving yards EVA and the Tasmanian devil who was named the best college DB AND had 8 return TDs as punt / kick returner. Oh what could have been!

I shall not want.
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litre_cola
Member

You had a great draft in my opinion. Which means nothing. But i think ya done good

Don T
Member

It enthused me a lot. Now all I have to do is shake off my over-obsessing about Mariota’s broken tibia. Every day since last Xmas Eve has been like this:

litre_cola
Member

Evening. Last night before baby home. Drunk? Little bit. Stoned? Have we met? How is everyone? Ice Eskimos will score. Place go nuts. I will bet my 1st born on it.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

*subscribes to post*

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

O. M. G.
Congrats Milli_cola!

litre_cola
Member

Allo. My name is Litre Cola, i see things.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Seems to be shaping up to be a shitty day for Ice Natives. Ice Slurs lost and now the Ice Eskimos have blown a 2-0 lead and are down 3-2… and then give up a penalty. Also did anyone mention “fuck Ryan Getzlaf”?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Ok, Seamus, got my laptop, no one’s at the table.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Clever squirrel

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://68.media.tumblr.com/5902b43be0da4b5f280ed2e0fb1985f4/tumblr_ojne9pZxEO1qg2n7mo1_500.jpg

Having a fondue set and knowing how to use it will get you constant city dick or pussy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Wakezilla
Member

Strong taek: If the Ice Slurs lose to the ice Steelers, they might as well blow up the team because they will never have a team as good as this one.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Can’t disagree.
Sell ’em for parts and keep it in the black.

All business, baby.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Plenty of ice for martooonis.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lyoj4sB6H81robf0lo1_250.gif

What does an NHL team go for these days?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Alrighty then….anyone want to poker for a bit?
I need the distraction.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

h

ttp://68.media.tumblr.com/3f4c2c9e46de63131d24bbc5ca0516f6/tumblr_on0ppqNWFb1tezjkso1_1280.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

h

ttp://www.peeperz.com/wp-content/uploads/Topless_running.gif

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Coming down to the finish, it’s neck and neck….and she wins by a….
Wait….photo finish upcoming.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

…which link?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Your NSFW booby race.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK, I’ll explain my joke…..

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Gimme a break man…running on fumes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nope, I goota give you shit. It makes up for all the jokes I miss.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Also; Nitrous fumes?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I wish.
Fumes of procrastination, I’m sorry to say.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

DAMN
IT!

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

I do but I don’t want to get out of bed to grab my laptop. That kind of day.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Then you, Sir…are like tits on a bull.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice big bull tits.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

No disagreement there

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Bull Bra.

WCS
Member

…and, exhale.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Meanwhile at Casa de tWBS:
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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Normally yes.
But I saw this one coming before the series even started. Anti-climactic at this point.

Meh.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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King Hippo
Member

if’n I had a nickel for every time someone done told me that…

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Why you think I told you to pluck?
There’s always a method to my madness. It just sometimes takes me a while to remember what it is.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“LAZER HAIR REMOVAL SYSTEM SEALED UP MY ASSHOLE AND I’M TAKING THEM TO COURT!!”

King Hippo
Member

on the plus side…all teh opiates u can eat, no worries about them fancy, expensive pills to make u poop!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla
Member

I see Ice Slurs are shitting the bed again. Looks like Holtby’s the culprit?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

They all suck ass.
Both literally AND figuratively.

I hate hockey.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Somebody took their hate vitamins today…… and urine Cheerios.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Berry flavored Cheerios are teh shit, btw.

Wakezilla
Member

Noooo! My favorite receptionist, aka, Hot Asian Barbie with the wonderfully inapporiate for work miniskirts is leaving next week. I mean, what’s the point of even coming into work when she’ll be gone? I has a sad.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Voted -1 for her leaving, not the grammar, phrasing, or content of your post.

King Hippo
Member

I also like this sudden awareness and shock that *gasp* BAHSTAHN is raycess??

Senor Weaselo
Member

EVERYONE DENIED THIS!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is good work there Senor.

Wakezilla
Member

It’s incredibly stupid, that’s for sure. Also, as if cheering for Jones is going to end racism.What an Empty gesture.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Um, I think their point is to let him and others in the stands know that a lot of people are not like that. Nobody cheering him thinks it will end racism.

King Hippo
Member

“WE KNOW THERE ARE GOOD ONES!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No; just medium.

Shogun Marcus
Member

I agree, but that region has been given all possible opportunities to deny or renounce it. More so than not, they’ve embraced the image or said nothing, which is complicit acceptance.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You are correct; except for the ones cheering, by definition they are saying something. I have not spent a lot of time in the region, but it seems to rival the south.

King Hippo
Member

Boston is there to make Southerners feel better about themselves.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

And a lot claim to be Irish; a formerly repressed…… ah fuck those people.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Sadly, nothing is going to end racism….because people basically suck ass to the lowest depths possible, given the chance. Jones doesn’t expect to be cheered in Fenway or any other opposing teams’ venues. But he’d like to go to work and not be called n****r for 3 hours if that’s ok with everyone.

Edited – bcuz I could already feel the hate mail being written.

King Hippo
Member

“It was only like 2, I was in the line for beer or the can at least an hour.” – Tommy from Quinzee

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Damn you.

King Hippo
Member

great minds ,, smh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I HAVE HALF A MIND TO…..

No it’s not the saying.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“THAUT IS TOO MUCHA TO ASK!”

-Taawmmy

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Shogun Marcus
Member

The sawx are pondering lifetime bans for teh racism-ers.
As I said earlier, the Red Sox are now filing for preemptive bankruptcy.

King Hippo
Member

imagine how many Irish are turning over in their graves right now ,, smh

King Hippo
Member

you would think that in a fairly crucial Game 4 like this someone would decide to give a shit about winning instead of starting half-assed fights every 5-6 minutes…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

So I did my safety presentation. It went surprisingly smooth. The OSHA folks they brought in to train the office were rather good. So I am sitting in training, sort of half paying attention because I have to give a class on this new drive product on the 22nd to a bunch of our field engineers.

I get an email at noon to show up at a conference room at 3pm.

So does anyone know what there is to do in Hamilton, Ontario? I ask because apparently I have to spend a month there starting on the 22nd. I’ve got to completely switch gears as soon as I am done making training slides, turn them over to one of the guys who is suppose to get trained to do the in house training, and start immediately making slides for a much bigger and more expensive drive product for a customer, go to the site and give training for a week, spend the next two weeks installing and commissioning it, and then do another four or five weeks of training with the customers.

This drive product is like our crazy, super high end, water cooled medium voltage drives, usually used in steel mills for insanely high torque, extremely tight controls like on roughing mills stands.

Here is the wacky kicker…its for a massive descale pump system. Makes no freaking sense. Its like having a F1 car to tow a plow.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Also…its hilarious how stress free my job is compared to being a new father or what I expect that must be like. I figured by the second kid, people must chill, but for the life of me, I could not imagine being able to function because I would be in a constant panic attack.

Don T
Member

Second… kid? As in, more than one child in the house? Oh my god I need to lie down.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

My parents treated my younger brother like shit, but I’m not sure that qualifies as “chill” so much as “he was an unwanted reminder that they hated each other.”

Game Time Decision
Member
Game Time Decision

get a car and go to Toronto ( like 30 minutes away), and then whatever you want will be there

There is SFA to do there.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Holy shit you guys! Garret Bolles has been a Bronco for less than a week and he already took a swing at John Elway! TMZ even has video of it:

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“BOLLES JUST TACKLE IN GAME OF LIFE.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS
Member

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King Hippo
Member

good premonitioning ,, smh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut
Member

/end of ‘Tombstone’

Whynot Earp: [talking to his love interest] “One of the narrative threads in this movie was me trying to make a ton of money and failing to do so. smh. Why don’t you marry me anyway?”

Love Interest: “You shouldn’t shake your head. I’m richer than Richie Rich just because.”

Whynot Earp: “I kinda had an inkling? You were really out of place in this here narrative. Let’s dance in a light snowfall.” [dances in a CGI snowfall]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

SEEMS LEGIT.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We saw her 43rd president in Exit to Eden (1994)….THAT WAS LEGIT.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Problem at work…

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Anybody got a .50 cal…or perhaps a really gullible person you hate?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Lower bowels.

scotchnaut
Member

You take the best of Val Kilmer and you’ve got yourself one hell of an actor..

/when he yells, “EVERYONE!!!” at the end of “Leon: The Professor”… it reminds me so much of some other actor saying that thing that I can’t recall right now.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Member

Is that the sequel where Mathilda graduates from NYU?

scotchnaut
Member

There’s no denying she’s the queen of the sequels. Her work after 10,000 Maniacs? There’s nothing the matter here!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

You’ve already voted for this comment

Yeah, but I wanna like it again! It’s that good!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HE SHOULDA FUCKING KILLED TOM CRUISE IN THAT ONE MOVIE!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I would forgive Jed York for his 49er transgressions for a fancy dinner provided he was not there.

*Does not care about the 49ers.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Evening, dicknuggets.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

That Glennon….such a prankster.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Member

“THIS RESTAURANT DOESN’T HAVE ANY ANIMALS THAT I CAN STRANGLE THE LIFE OUT OF WITH MY BARE HANDS?! THIS IS WHAT I THINK OF THE MENU!”

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scotchnaut
Member

“Stupid ‘Tombstone’ is on again. Can’t believe it’s being shown for the 546th time…

/watches Tombstone yet again…
//”I’m your dingleberry” is my fave part

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

HOW THE FUCK IS IT ONLY WEDNESDAY?!

DFO births aside, this week has sucked donkey balls.

King Hippo
Member

chuh chuh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola
Member

Its wednesday? Where am I? What the fuck happened to Sunday?

King Hippo
Member

who do you think you are, SIdney Crosby?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola
Member

Trent green shakes his head

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Diagonally.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo
Member

This is also good, and I usually don’t like Mac DeMarco. I’ve been dreaming of hanging out with mah old man a lot lately, and seeing how he’s been dead 10 years, pretty sure this means my time is almost up (which would be quite the relief):

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You should try what I do and assign one of the voices in your head to be your dad. Coincidentally the voice that I have in that role tells the same jokes as my old man did.

King Hippo
Member

I LIKE THIS IDEA!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo
Member

ppl aren’t making a big enough deal about how fucking kickass the new Portugal. The Man single is.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T
Member

Very nice.