- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
- The opening of the new joint Rams and Chargers stadium in Inglewood, Calif., has been delayed until 2020.
- Unexpected rainfall this winter has slowed work on site excavation & foundation preparation.
- Per the L.A. Times, water at times stood up to 12 to 15 feet deep from all the rain this past winter, causing the site to resemble a “lake” during the excavation period.
- Unexpected rainfall this winter has slowed work on site excavation & foundation preparation.
- They’ve clearly accomplished a lot since yeah right‘s last visit:
- The opening of the new joint Rams and Chargers stadium in Inglewood, Calif., has been delayed until 2020.
- Taking into account what the esteemed Dr. Bundchen has to say, the NFL will investigate the three angles apparent in this story:
- Did Brady suffer a concussion?
- Did he hide it from the Patriots?
- Did the Patriots hide it from the League?
- Alex Smith smells what Andy Reid is cooking, and it’s his 2012 Niners season covered in BBQ sauce.
- “This is a completely different coaching staff and a completely different team,” Smith said. “I think I’m a much different player… I get it, right? If any of us were the GM, this in my opinion might be the most important position in all of sports. You’d be crazy not to be stockpiling talent.”
- For reasons unbeknownst, PFT chose to report the Hamilton Tiger-Cats have the CFL rights to Colin Kaepernick, Johnny Manziel and Robert Griffin III,
- Perhaps shits & giggles? Florio’s too caffeinated to be bored.
- Not exactly the kind Jim Irsay was looking for, the Colts signed draft pick Malik Hooker to his rookie deal today.
Finally, stealing from Crimebeat!
- Browns 6th round pick Caleb Brantley had his battery charge dismissed due to a perceived inability to secure a conviction.
- The Browns public statement is full of what you’d expect from a team that took flak for signing a guy who appears to smack women:
Caleb understands that we have an expectation and standard for every member of our organization.He’s a talented-young man with a great opportunity in front of him. Caleb must grow as a person from this situation. He is now able to move forward and focus on earning a spot on this roster.
- Michael Floyd’s “extreme DUI” probation was transferred to Minnesota from Arizona, after its brief stop in New England to pick up some jewelry.
- He was sentenced in February to 24 days in jail and 96 days under house arrest.
- He served the in-custody after the sentencing, and was looking to transfer the remainder of the 96 days to Minnesota.
- the terms of the house arrest allow travel to & from work only.
- He served the in-custody after the sentencing, and was looking to transfer the remainder of the 96 days to Minnesota.
- He is still facing punishment from the League for the personal-conduct policy violation.
- He was sentenced in February to 24 days in jail and 96 days under house arrest.
- The masturbating Chargers security guard pleaded guilty to performing a lewd act in public.
- It was Elite masturbation, because he worked for Elite Security, and I really wanted to use the word “elite” in a non-Flaccian way.
- He was sentenced to three years of probation and counseling.
- He will not have to register as a sex offender.
Your Irsay/Kroenke/Spanos inspired song of the day comes to us from 1991 & Ugly Kid Joe.
So, because I’m on a couple of NFL mailing lists – Packers, Seahawks – I get the odd notice informing me that as a VALUED PARTNER! I’m eligible for certain offers available before the general public.
The Seahawks sent me one today, informing me that my season-ticket holder status affords me the privilege of an early opportunity to purchase the ability to host my fantasy football draft at Century Link Field.
It sounds like an okay idea, until you click through a couple of links & see the price:
Uh-huh.
FYI: That’s the price of one seat (near the roof; in the corner) for a whole season. But they want me instead to shell that out to sit in an empty stadium with seven friends and eat stadium food that’s been in a freezer since early-January, all while debating the merits of Ameer Abdullah versus Devontae Booker.
Verdict: Buffalo Wild Wings will give me a corner booth for free!
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- Ducks at Predators – 8:00PM | NBCSN / CBC
- Baseball:
- MLB:
- Blue Jays at Braves – 7:30PM | Sportsnet
- Yankees at Royals – 8:00PM | FS1
- NCAA:
- Kentucky at Florida – 7:00PM | ESPN
- MLB:
Not that I need to convince many, but still – GO PREDS!
From my autobiography, titled “Oh, I’M the Asshole”:
Guy: Notarize this, will ya?
Me: It’s already signed.
Guy: [“Here we go again” sigh] So?
Me: It has to be signed in front of me by the person named here. That’s the only thing required of me.
Guy: C’mon. It’s for my brother. You met him at the Xmas party! You know him personally already.
Me: Why don’t you do it?
Guy: You know I can’t do that.
Me: That could get ya disbarred even. But with my license, fuck it. Right?
Guy: … Tch. /walks away
Me: /follows Guy/ Do you want the paper or should it throw it away?
This seems appropriate
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ru3gH27Fn6E
Ha! I had a cool housemate that played that nonstop. He once left a note on the fridge that said: “Yo [Don], I have some acid on the freezer DONT TOUCH IT”. Two doors down there was a police station.
Jesus Fucking Christ. I finally unfriended a cunt of an insurance defense attorney because fuck them. Those fucking cretins are why I despise this stupid fucking profession, and I’m not about to fucking celebrate or even acknowledge any of those motherfuckers’ successes.
This fucking day can’t end soon enough.
FYI: Some of those old ladies who slip and fall are real scumbags, and I have the surveillance videos to prove it.
-Oh my life ch–crying–changed forever. I’m an invalid!
-I got this from your Facebook account. Is this you twearking three weeks ago?
Yeah, but they say the same thing about people who’ve been crippled by some jackass’s willful and wanton neglect. So I’m okay with treating them like shit.
Fun Fact! Wilfull and wanton neglect could fall under an exclusion of common commercial general liability polici
/dies of dickishness
Today I was ordered to achieve something impossible through ridiculous methods.
Related: I’ll take seething and emphysema over WHY DONTCHA GET A BOOTLICKING MAGICIAN YOU GUTLESS FUCK /slams phone, rips shirt
MILFtastic!
Strategic shadow placement wins the day.
She seems nice
Seems?!?
http://gifrific.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/Surprised-Olivia-Wilde.gif
Less so now
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/4320611/3-stooges-o.gif
http://photos.wikimapia.org/p/00/02/04/07/01_big.jpg
http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/logopedia/images/a/a6/CBS_Television_City_1983-Press_Your_Luck.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20151014055529
Arrrrrgh.
https://youtu.be/2ZrvbZ7_CSk
That must be some damn fine coffee.
http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view2/4837933/3-stooges-cake-o.gif
So, my day sucked ass. How’s about y’all?
Goddamn. Trent must’ve been shooting up half of Colombia in the early to mid-90s.
Stone was snorting the other half with Tarantino.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvx6gox9S_s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sYwGI9KjkA
20 thumbs up
My absolute favorite version of this song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VYfpVqZSrsE
Of course, that’s after starting with “hello.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3s6TfiA8c8
Smell that pussy.
http://25.media.tumblr.com/751818128d97329bb4faf0bc9b511cd9/tumblr_mjrhjvhlRC1qghl49o1_500.gif
Nope, we’re fine.
So, I’ve been entertaining a thought and it freaks me out because it seems so plausible.
The consensus liberal fantasy at this point is that the Russia investigation basically brings down everyone, or at least most of the line of succession. Somehow McConnell gets dragged out because *shrug* and then you get to Secretary of State Rex Tillerson. Tilly didn’t even want that job, why the Hell would he accept the presidency? On top of that, the whole point of him becoming SecState was because of his relationship with Russia. So let’s waive him off. Next comes Treasury Secretary … Some dude. All I know is that he’s Goldman Sachs dick cheese, so the Democrats would be just peachy with that because they’re a bunch of banker-blowing shit weasels. However, this is a Time of Crisis™ and the next man in line is Secretary of Defense James “Mad Dog” Mattis. Mad Dog would have the support of the military, naturally, plenty of financial people because “steady hand” and all that shit, Congressional support because you can’t fuck the flag hard enough as a member of Congress, and the media would cream themselves at the idea of the Warrior-King.
My point is that given those forces, at what point would the Treasury Secretary feel compelled to step aside for Mattis? I would say that point is not so much minuscule as fleeting. More to the point, if he did, this would be an instance of a lawful successor being forced out so a former general takes office. There’s a term for that.
The saddest part is that the press, the military Congress, everyone who Matters, and probably even the public would cheer at Mattis becoming President just to ensure “stability” and bring back “dignity” and “fill in the blank” pablum about decorum and honor and all that bullshit. Meanwhile, the reality would be that a military coup d’etat seizes the most powerful political office on Earth.
You’re going a long way to find something that’s never gonna happen.
Kinda like my dating life.
Oh, I know. But it beats the shit out of all of the other thoughts that have been rattling around in my head all day.
Yeah, it’s snowing here. Freeze tonight. Glad I was too fucking lazy to plant the garden last weekend. Oh well, other parts of the world it is snowing fucking bombs.
http://2damnfunny.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/Snowball-To-The-Head-Surprise-Attack.gif
Considering it’s America’s Funniest Home Videos I’m surprised no nutshot.
His head is equally as useless.
Where the fuck are you?
Denver. Last week we had the worst hail storm I’ve seen in….. well, decades. So I prefer the snow. It was 83 three weeks ago. The plants and animals are all “WTF?!?!?”
I wouldn’t have emoting plants. All they’d do is nag.
-Hey, how about some Dasani?
-Can’t hear ya /peeing on watering can
http://media.giphy.com/media/jHJ1peIZlJLwY/giphy.gif
Anybody up for poking her….I mean poker?
Can tomorrow. I miss the banter
I could be up for it.
Know what is supèrefantastique? Coming home exhausted and murderous from a “leadership forum” and your aunt and uncle are here from 2 provinces over to see the baby. Lovely people, no fucking notice? Have a hotel and all but come on. A little heads up please.
There’s only $12 in the DFO Legal Defense Fund, just so you know.
$9.78. Responding to that Cease and Desist letter from the Texans took an all-nighter.