Your “What – Nothing’s On Again?! Where’s “The Longest Day”?” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Proving you can move a team but the misery still follows, Chargers rookie Mike Williams is out of remaining OTAs with a herniated disc.
  • Jamaal Charles hopes to be the #1 back in Denver in 2017.
    • “When I left Kansas City, I was still at the top. It was just the injury. You can’t really control injuries.”
  • Stealing an obscure story more meant for Crimebeat!, former Browns WR Reggie Rucker is having his NFL pension deducted by $400/month to repay his charity for money he “borrowed” to pay off gambling debts.
    • His attorney blamed Rucker’s actions on a gambling addiction caused by football-related brain injuries.
      • Prosecutors scoffed at that argument.
      • Any portion of the NFL brain injury settlement he receives will be used to compensate the charity, his attorney said.
  • Jack Del Rio loves him some Beastmode.

https://twitter.com/coachdelrio/status/871895836917026816

Finally, dealing with the fallout from Dr. Bundchen’s revelations, Bill Belichick reinforced that the Patriots comply with all League injury reporting guidelines.

  • “We file our reports in compliance with the league guidelines,” Belichick reiterated Tuesday. grumble grumble “Players don’t come to me and I don’t treat them for injuries. That’s not really my job. That’s what we have medical staff for.”

Canada 150:

June 6, 1944 – The Canadians storming of Juno Beach during the Normandy landings.

Juno Beach was about eight kilometres long, encompassing four seaside villages. The beach was divided into two sectors designated “Mike” and “Nan,” stormed by the 7th Canadian Brigade and the 8th Canadian Brigade respectively. The 9th Canadian Brigade came ashore two and a half hours later as backup.

The German defences at Juno consisted of Widerstandnester (resistance nests) at the seaside villages of Courseulles-sur-Mer, Bernières-sur-Mer and St. Aubin-sur-Mer. These were fortified with concrete and surrounded by barbed wire and landmines. There were also about 20 medium and large gun batteries nearby. Most of the German soldiers the Canadians encountered were either over age 35 or under 18. With just 400 such men, they were well outnumbered by the first wave of Canadians.

Veterans Affairs Canada estimates that 15,000 Canadians from all three branches (Army, Navy and Air Force) landed on D-Day. About one man in 19 who landed on Juno Beach became a casualty (killed, wounded or captured). Among the first assault waves that morning the ratio was closer to one in two. By day’s end 340 Canadians had been killed, 574 wounded and 47 captured. According to the Army’s official historian these numbers were about half what planners had feared.

In total, about 100,000 Canadians played a role in the D-Day invasion and subsequent Normandy campaign. About 10,000 were sailors.

Sources: CBC, Veterans Affairs, Canadian War Museum,


Tonight’s sports: I guess LeBron doesn’t work Tuesdays

  • MLB:
    • Red Sox at Yankees – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
    • Blue Jays at A’s – 10:00Pm | Sportsnet
  •  WNBA:
    • Washington at Dallas – 8:00PM | ESPN2
  • WWE:
    • SmackDown – 8:00PM | USA/ Sportsnet360
  • Golf:
    • World Long Drive Tour Golf: Clash in the Canyon – 8:00PM | GOLF
  • International Rugby: from Auckland
    • British/Irish Lions vs Blues – Wed 3:35AM | TSN2
    • here’s the entire tour; US Commentists may have to learn Russian to find a broadcast.

Today, I have cribbed from the domains of Crimebeat! and Historical Badasses. Plagiarism? AM I BACK IN UNIVERSITY? WHERE ARE MY DRINKING PANTS?!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

I don’t know why I ever order chicken at a Mexican place. Unless it’s a chicken place (“Pollo ________”), the beef — even ground beef — is always gonna be better.

blaxabbath

But you trying at every new place you try. Like, “They’re known for their carnitas and chicken is always the worst meat on the list at these places but, I just got a feeling…”

And then it’s a letdown, you regret it, and you just swear to never make that mistake again (but you will).

ballsofsteelandfury

This is important advice. NEVER get the chicken at a place where chicken isnot the primary dish. They always do it as an afterthought for the people that try to “eat healthy”.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

ALWAYS generalize.

blaxabbath

Right.

So basically only places with chicken in the name (chik-fil-a or the happy chicken or KFC or canes or soul food).

blaxabbath

How cheated will you feel if the Twin Picks killer isn’t Sill Bimmons in women’s neglige?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

/Pours bleach on brain
Nope, mental image still not gone.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Feels like he’s wearing nothin’ at all! Nothin’ at all! Nothin’ at all!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Frankenbumper.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blackroseMD1

So the reunited Stabbing Westward announced a show in L.A. today…which means that I’m probably going to have to go to Los Angeles in November.

Song title is likely to be appropriate:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NZsCYOM4j0

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Ooh I love that band!”

– Ray Lewis

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Very good.
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ballsofsteelandfury

Wooo!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Back in the days when I enjoyed hockey. Nice clip.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Da fuq just happened?

WCS

— that cat

theeWeeBabySeamus

….also yes.

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wind tunnel or mom’s vagina?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I dunno exactly why I find this funny….but I do…..
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mcmd0nkugj1rdfvo9o1_400.gif

Don T

Ronald McDonald IS a diva.

WCS

Crack-addict Ronald needs his fix, bitch. He ain’t got time for your dipshit commercial.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You find it funny for the same reasons I do; a humorous imagination……

that and being sick fucks.

theeWeeBabySeamus

….also yes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

“This, uhh, ice cream… is delicious.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Chocolate……

Wakezilla

I just read Vince’s review of Wonder Woman. I think Mike Ryan hacked Vince’s account because the review was bad.

Anyway, Wonder Woman was a pretty good movie

Unsurprised

Vince hates superhero movies, and it damned the movie with faint praise. It was good for a superhero movie, but who cares because superheroes are ultimately just physical embodiments of some symbol literally punching the shit out of Evil (although, as he noted, at least there wasn’t a fucking portal in WW).

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Damn, the NHL schedule is getting stretched out now. 3 weeks to play 6 games? Ridiculous.

herodotus450

Two days when they change cities, it seems.

Senor Weaselo

I already complained that it ends in June, they don’t need to stretch it into July, too.

Senor Weaselo

I do enjoy the ol’ run-scoring strikeout to score a run.

(Edit: Did I mention the run scoring?)

Senor Weaselo

Aww, Kelly vs. Judge goes to Kelly.

Redshirt

4 Home Runs in a game?! Holy shit!

ballsofsteelandfury

I must be secretly Irish. I FUCKING LOVE Guinness.

Senor Weaselo

A lot of people are secretly Irish, then.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m watching La La Land on a plane, and so far, I don’t understand why it got Oscar Runner Up

WCS

White people.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

But doesn’t that, in turn, explain exactly why it was nominated?

Shogun Marcus

I don’t know why it got made. WCS has the likely answer though.

Redshirt

I would blame the liberals and the gays, but I don’t want to insult them by associating them with that movie.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

9.5 9.5 9.0 9.5

Shogun Marcus

The East German judge also gave it a nein.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Holy crap. I can’t tell if the NL Central is very competitive or if all five of them suck. The Reds starting pitching can barely get to the 5th inning. The Bullpen is about a month away from catching fire due to overuse. The Position Players are a who’s who of the AA.

And somehow they are only three games out of 1st, four games under .500 and leading St. Louis 10-0.

Redshirt

Oh and that’s why they gave Gennett your number, Phillips.

Shogun Marcus

Yes.
Also it is certainly interesting times. I’m not used to cromulence from my el beisbol purveyors.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That is one badass little fucking dog. I love that dog.

Redshirt

Its always the small dogs that have that, “I have no problem dying here, do you?!” mentality.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah. They’re kinda dicks that way.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My dog had the neighbor little dick dog trapped underneath a car. They didn’t think it was as funny as I did. That is the dog that will come into YOUR yard to bark at you. He hasn’t been so brave after that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

To which my large dog says “We can arrange that for you.” At which point I pull her away on the leach.

[Edit] or leash.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Redshirt

Watching the E:60 special about Ryan Leaf. It sounds like he finally got his head on straight. Its a couple of years, arrests, millions of dollars and a broken franchise too late, but good for him.

scotchnaut

“I hope he finally turns things around.”

-Pharmacists with weak security systems

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

Jason “White Fair Trade Chocolate” Williams, everyone.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Weeeeeeee——-

WCS

Good boy!

ballsofsteelandfury

When are we going to start Rim Job Wednesday?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I know what you’re thinking.
But don’t even think about asking me to do that.

ballsofsteelandfury

I think i have a topic for 25 Questions..

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh, sorry; JOB.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve made that drive!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Custom rim job.
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Me Too!!!!!
LMFAO, gonna shut up now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I don’t think he meant anal.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You’re OK; basketball is going to be over very soon for the year.

WCS

Someone’s trying to out-Florida Florida Man.

WCS

Griswoldian.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut

As a The Canadian, I’d like to point out that Rob is the rarest of individuals-he has yakked about The Canada and its history without the slightest hint of the passive-aggressive “LOOK AT US-WE’RE REALLY A GREAT COUNTRY, NO, HONEST!” narrative that the CBC and countless citizens of this fair land have engaged in over the years.

/I didn’t express that as succinctly as I would have preferred
//NOT SORRY!

blaxabbath

I just think it’s neat you all call your army “The Army”, instead of The Canadian Army. Shows a lot of pride; like fans who refer to their favorite NFL team (*cough*Steelers*cough*) as We.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://media.giphy.com/media/BpXXszc5ptjxK/giphy.gif

I always loved audience participation.

WCS

Yeah, fire!

blackroseMD1

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
blackroseMD1

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I thought “drinking pants” was an oxymoron…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I believe he misspelled ‘chaps.’

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut

“GG Allin’s Early Years-The Video That He Never Wanted You To See.”

“Okay, look. I said I dived into the crowd and got stabbed by one of my fans but what happened was I was huffing Vaseline and some of it got on my sneakers. I had my house keys in my pocket and I landed straight on them. Yeah it hurt. I moved on. [snorts rat poison] Ahhh!!!”

scotchnaut

If your closest family members/in-laws are salt of the earth, “the gubnervent is bad”, “why can’t things be the same as they were back in 1970?”, “higher minimum wage?-that ain’t right!” (marches off to his job at Walmart) type people…

/maybe it’s time to move on
//I did a long time ago

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We have a few of those, but they get shouted down or at least eye-rolled down by us libtard treehuggin’ sombitches.
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scotchnaut

Eye-rolled? You cold-blooded assassin, you!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Don’t worry about leniency; it is accompanied by an appropriate amount of never ending sarcasm.

http://24.media.tumblr.com/2e7546168e9d3d105b7199fa719ea5b4/tumblr_mhkpmo0G8l1s4mva2o1_500.gif

scotchnaut

Sarcasm and head-bands are a killer combination….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Don T

?????
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Don T

Drinking… Pants? So it’s true, then: classiness is a secondary effect to colon procedures.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

THE MEDICAL STAFF DOES THEIR JOB!

*of hiding various injuries and being overly vague about others.

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Unsurprised

If this means it’s more likely that Brady gets CTE, let them do their fucking jobs.

Senor Weaselo

When trying to kiss the rim goes wrong.