Your “Just One More Playoff To Go” Monday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Mike McCarthy, seen right with the only reason he’s still employed, has dismissed all veterans with 6+ years of NFL experience from mandatory minicamp this week.
    • the logic is that, under Jon Gruden’s favourite provisions of the CBA, actual coaching time with players is at a premium, so why waste time with vets who do know better.
  • Jeremy Maclin has signed a ELITE two-year deal with the Ravens.
  • The Broncos had a social media session for all their returning players, to avoid both innocent dust-ups and Antonio Brown-esque problems.
    • Topic 1: don’t guess who is the QB
    • Topic 2: don’t complain about the QB
  • The latest Crimebeat! subject will be Lorenzo Maudlin, Jets running back & alleged nightclub punching enthusiast.
    • He says he didn’t do it, and has proof. All the other guy has is an account of who he thinks beat-in his face.

  • The Patriots’ Super Bowl ring contains 283 diamonds, because fuck them.
    • And who better to let you know that fact than brand-whore Darren Rovell?

Finally, Eddie Lacy made his weight again today, and thus collected another $55000 in contract incentives.

  • ESPN has you covered with a delightful array of Kooky Clauses & Crazy Incentives.

In case you missed it, or didn’t see it because you are American, “Hockey Night In Canada” does the best playoff-end montage in sports.

It’s made extra-special via the appearance of Leafs’ sadness.

I’m assuming WCS is still drunkenly stumbling the streets of Pittsburgh eating raw catfish with his fellow fans.


Tonight’s sports: ooh Lordy, it’s a small order nationally

  • NBA:
    • Game 5: Cavaliers at Warriors – 9:00PM | ABC / Sportsnet
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
  • International Rugby:
    • British/Irish Lions vs. Highlanders – Tuesday 3:35AM | TSN2

Pretty soon, it’ll just be baseball. HURRY UP, HALL OF FAME GAME!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Ummmm, Rex wh…..oh right.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO.
No.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Swept her off her feet. I thought that was a good thing?????

Unsurprised

Mmmmmmm
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WCS

Instant Karma’s gonna get you.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not to mention the corner of that house.

Unsurprised

Truck’s gon’ give it to ya

Croooow

Adam Silver. The not-disgrace commissioner?

Unsurprised

King of Shit Mountain

Unsurprised

Mixing hot women and surfing. Coco Ho from the ESPN Body Issue 2014. https://pixxxels.org/gallery/1i2l3irse/

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Croooow

NBA and NHL seasons over. The abyss is here.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

The US Open starts Thursday!

/hit by tossed ball-peen hammer

Senor Weaselo

Dammit, I don’t want to deal with that traffic on the Grand Central.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS

20 minutes earlier…

“What’s the worst that could happen? It’s not like I’m going to break my leg, or something.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

This would’ve been one of the best gifs ever if he flew threw the window, or better yet, both.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Or murdered by the owner of the car.

Unsurprised

That could’ve still happened afterwards. Keep the dream alive.

Mr. Ayo

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7th Man Triumphs!

Brocky

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Unsurprised

Heroic, nudist(ish) model Marisa Papen can surf.

h
ttps://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/ed/d4/f2/edd4f22ef95bfcc792212a5c898496d7.jpg

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wonder if Golden State could have won the title (this year) without Durant.

Senor Weaselo

Well it’s finally over, hallefuckinglujah.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Since they’re sitting here.

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Unsurprised

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Betty Gilpin was so hot in her one episode of American Gods. Also, last night’s was really good. Who knew Emily Browning could act when not directed by Visionary Director Zac Snyder?

http://uproxx.files.wordpress.com/2017/06/betty-gilpin-netflix-glow.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

She possesses outward physical symmetry, and balance which I find…..useful.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

I should’ve gone to get coffee and write.

Senor Weaselo

Did anyone make the “One Shining Moment” joke regarding the NHL video?

theeWeeBabySeamus

So we’re rooting for basketball to end tonight, right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

So close.

ballsofsteelandfury

What the hell was he thinking?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Honestly I have no idea but I can’t stop laughing.

ballsofsteelandfury

Me neither!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

No, just no.
Time for me to shut up.
LMFAO.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Unsurprised

Damn it!

Mr. Ayo

God yes

Unsurprised

Indeed

Unsurprised

The bar has been set for GLOW
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Senor Weaselo

The bar is the leaked Alison Brie screenshots and it’s their job to exceed that?

Unsurprised

That too.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s not an O-face. That’s something else, entirely.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wrong broom?

Senor Weaselo

Look at the stones on him.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
theeWeeBabySeamus

Gronk of the curling world?
And if so, how fucking sad is that?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Mr. Ayo

I remember her!

theeWeeBabySeamus

O-face?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Curling-O-face II; The Ice Melter

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Curling pillows.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Curling-O-face.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“If a girl…has a pierced tongue…”

– Chris Rock

ballsofsteelandfury

Truer words….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She talks funny?

She has lost the ability to taste certain thing because of nerve damage?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh, ok, you mean….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
ballsofsteelandfury

Hippo’s boner explodes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

When they chide him spuriously in Russian, he’ll need penis reconstruction from the ‘splosion.

Mr. Ayo

Our 4 way was not as successful for them.

Mr. Ayo

Sushi!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…and then Google will sell all that information to advertisers cause that’s how they make money!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

YUM

theeWeeBabySeamus

She seems a bit insane.
This is not a deal breaker.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

h

ttp://www.theasianbox.com/img2/JapaneseCurling.jpg

You still need to practice even when the chiller is broken.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Senor Weaselo

It’s really funny watching people be way into this game. Either way there is schadenfreude, so I guess we win?

Unsurprised

I’m still not sure how I ended up going from thinking Rick & Morty was stupid Family Guy-style stoner humor to actually enjoying it, more or less. It does make me question my judgment.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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This is a higher resolution one of her with the cock in the background.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

That’s some quality Freudian penis, I mean slip.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oopsie.

Senor Weaselo

Evening lizard people. It’s Hermana Weaselo’s birthday tomorrow so we’re with some of her coworkers at a Greene Turtle. We’ll see if a table gets flipped due to the basketballs.

Unsurprised

Running with the beach theme. NSFW. https://gfycat.com/EarlyDecimalDromaeosaur

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Only a few weeks before DFO becomes the official GLOW gif HQ.
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Unsurprised

I cannot wait.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Shogun Marcus

If this officiating doesn’t improve, it’s going to be touchdown seahawks.

Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I think I just came a little.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yeah, I’m… gonna go…do something.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Who needs a hug?
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Unsurprised

I got one yesterday at an … anonymous … place. No, two actually.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Bob has great caring nipples.

Unsurprised

It was really cold in that church. ppl forget tht

Shogun Marcus

So we’re getting another escape room place in town. That’ll be two. Lady Shogun says “But why? Isn’t trying to get out of town enough?” I said that should be a room with no doors. Then a panel opens, only to let you into the stadium. Then you find a door, and a room with a pistol scrawled with No Escape.
Yeah we went dark.

ballsofsteelandfury

/ takes notes to pass along to LCSS for Boltman’s next adventure.

Unsurprised

Portland has two, although they’re practically in Beaverton for the Nike dorks.

It would be a marked improvement for everyone if they went with your design.

Brick Meathook

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WCS

Wwwwweeeeeeeeeeeee—-

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s at least a 20 foot fall onto the surf. Insane.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Double that….at least.
/happy I didn’t bring my board west, LOL

ballsofsteelandfury

The wave itself, yes. But I think by the time it barreled, it didn’t go as high.

Don’t worry, our waves here don’t get that high. Only those crazy weirdos in NoCal get that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh I thought you meant from the crest. I see what you mean now. Extra points for the centrifugal “fuck you”.

Re: waves…..Next time, I’ll drive again and we’ll plan better.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The person on the green board is due for a beating.

ballsofsteelandfury

Sounds like a plan!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Unsurprised

I think it means it likes me.

ballsofsteelandfury

SO glad you didn’t say “wants”

Shogun Marcus

Where’s the Tyson Now Kith?