By now, you guys should now that I LOVE me some Canadia. I love Vancouver and, even though I made fun of my boss for traveling to Calgary for his very first trip to Canada, I think the rest of the country is pretty awesome. That doesn’t, of course, count the people. Not only are the Canadian contingent here at DFO an awesome group of people, everyone I have ever met that is Canadian has been a cool person. I’m pretty sure there are Canadian assholes as assholes exist pretty much everywhere, but I haven’t met any yet.
Prior to traveling to the Great White North, my exposure to Canada was limited to TV and movies. So it is that I want to do a personal tribute to what Canada meant to me prior to going there and becoming invisible friends with invisible Canadians.
First up, my very first memory of anything Canadian:
I watched this movie multiple times as a wee lil balls. I could probably recite the lines from memory. Thanks to this movie, we were calling each other hosers in middle school and I bought my first street hockey set. That is because there is no fucking ice in LA and the Kings wouldn’t get Gretzky until later and only THEN were hockey programs started. Alas, it was too late for me, but I still, to this day, love hockey. And this movie.
The times blur with age but the next Canadian thing I remember was SCTV reruns. SCTV, of course, had an all-star lineup of comedy stars with John Candy, Joe Flaherty, Rick Moranis, Andrea Martin, Catherine O’Hara, Dave Thomas, Eugene Levy, and Martin Short. Are you fucking kidding me? That’s like the Hall of Fame of comedy right there.
There was a point in the 80s that LA might as well have been a Canadian suburb as every major comedy star was born in Canada and worked in LA. Hell, that’s still largely the case. Just look at this list of Canadian comedians. Almost all of our favorite comedians, TV, and movie stars are Canadian. Phil Fucking Hartman was Canadian!
You know who else was Canadian?
Damn right. Note how awesome she looks before the dirty States got to her. You’d be surprised how many “American” hotties are actually from Canada. I will let you all post your favorites, but I will mention one that is not well known: Sunny Leone:
She is now a big Bollywood star. Apparently, there IS life after porn!
But, the ones I have to mention above everything are the Kids in the Hall. They have really shaped my humor and made me the crazy perverted offbeat Balls that you know and tolerate.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvbvqYGgBqM
and, in honor of Canada’s birthday, this sketch:
Ok, seriously, the only thing I don’t get is the attachment to the Queen, even though you are an Independent Country. Also this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EymJPH9jSEQ
I love you, Canada! Sorry I’m late on the 150th celebration!
Hey, maybe I can be a Canadian citizen after all! 🙂
and finally, I can’t forget about the awesome sport of curling:
Je t’aime Canada!
Aloutte, gentille aloutte, Aloutte, je te plumerai!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ITLXo19248g
May you always have many many Armani!
Evening, degenerates.
Can’t find a better Amy.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, AMERICA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XM-7JOeC4ko&ab_channel=IllusionNconfusion
Deceptive width.
THAT’S WHAT SHEEEEEEEEE SAID!!
*Not to me
Yeah, I also hate having a tuna can for a dick.
I have a buddy that, I swear to BLEERGH, we call Tri Tuna Can.
I’m not quite as…close…to my friends I guess.
Mine may be short, but at least it’s skinny.
I always appreciate the originals, but I’m a little partial to the new Kono now:
Is tWBS too inebriated to be writing at almost 1am?
You’ll probably* find out in the morning.
* presumption of consciousness for at least a few more hours, otherwise it’ll be later sometime..lol.
I need entertainment. Stay up and try to prove this either way. I do not accept the potential passing out.
By normal people standards, yes. By tWBS standards, not even close.
The cookies are fantastic. Good thing she didnt waste the bananas.
Call her “Mommy”.
I dare you.
Hey, everyone, Seamus is actually Mike Pence!
What would be worse, “Mommy” or “Mother”?
Me thinks she would throw them at me, and not like here’s a cookie, more like I hope this wounds yiu.
Better have milk.
Only one way to properly use a bananan, if you know what I mean
Damn
https://instagram.fsnc1-2.fna.fbcdn.net/t50.9793-16/16778516_1979864492250881_7116481417554427904_n.mp4
“It’s a Good Life” is on Twilight Zone.
Pre-op Alexandria?
From a recent photoshoot.
Proportions just seem a little different.
The arms are raised above the head; that’s how boobs work.
There is debate about whether she got it or not. She probably did, but it didn’t make them that much bigger, moved stuff around a bit and pushed it up. She is a slim woman. Shame she felt she had to do that. She is spectacular IMO without.
No doubt, typical female deception!
Sorry, hit post before I finished.
*So to speak.
It’s OK, It happens to all of us as we get older.
*got
Is that Waldo?
Was Waldo
Looks like he’s hangin’ with Carmen Sandiego.
That show was fantastic, as was the pc game.
I should go to the store now for beer instead of waiting until the morning. I’m making a pizza tomorrow. Mmmmm.
I posted this on the other thread; what a complete asshole. He doesn’t even try to hide his fuck you to the tax payers.
http://www.businessinsider.com/chris-christie-beach-photos-government-shutdown-2017-7
Worthless piece of fuck. Human-shaped Jabba the hutt motherfucker.
That’s mean! C’mon, Jabba was pretty cool in his own way.
Just more water under the conveniently closed bridge.
Well played…. polluted water.
Lots of wife and kids talk tonight, let’s check in with mrs.
douchebagherodotusShe’s a little shy.
Well, it HAS been a long time since I set up an intervention.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vzuAN92Qx7U
I just washed my hands, now I have to drop a deuce. I HATE a trivial action immediately rendered obsolete!
Wait till you have offspring…
Oh I already do, and you speaketh da truth.
Like TD-Review-commercial-XP-commercial-kickoff-commercial-3 and out-commercial-suicide.
All right before halftime. Don’t even get me started on injury timeouts.
I thought the poker game was broken….
Oh……..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dyoldo2FrGU
People like them now better than they did in the 80s.
That was some fun UHF viewing for a kid without cable.
37 channels, maybe two had some grainy shit on it.
Plenty of wrasslin and Japanese superhero shows.
If anyone can pull off the show, it’s Alison.
It was an OK signal at the time….. so said my dick anyway.
Ugh … Why am I sober?
Bad life choices?
Bing!
Well, you’ll feel better in the morning. THINK POSITIVE!!!!!
I am insanely jealous of the people smoking tonight. I haven’t smoked in like 500 days and that was like 2 hits off a poorly rolled joint. Working in my favor is I am drunk and playing Kingdom Hearts.
Too bad, you’d love these ribs I just….
oh…
“Shit, these bananas are brown, I will just make some banana chocolate chip cookies.” Mrs. Cola
“You are getting into this mother thing eh?” – me
” Just go smoke your weed there mouthpiece” – Mrs.
I have no idea what just happened but apparently I am getting cookies.
And weed. You better stfu while you’re ahead, fucker.
/ Makes note to self. Steal my mom’s banana bread recipe to share on here
It is awesome. A great quick breakfast or snack
Great way to use up bananas right before they deteriorate to the liquid state.
I am also a huge fan of chocolate zucchini bread.
Dame Nobyl’s specialty is mango bread. Fuck AND yes…
I am now looking up a recipe for that.
Not sure if she even has a recipe, she just makes it with fresh chunks of mango. Fucking awesome with hot coffee!
Some kind of euphemism…….
Banana bread on it’s own is tasty. Banana bread used to make bread pudding is fucking ridiculous.
Life Lesson #475 – When you know you’re getting homemade cookies, shut the fuck up and leave it at that.
Hehe….niiiiiice.
Oh, Lord.
(get it?)
One thing taught to me from Dave Foley as I grew up was don’t get married, the guy gets fucked for life if something happens like you become different people and want to move on. Literally 20 years later he is getting fucked. I am all for pledging myself to someone for the rest of my life but I will never get married under the court system.
Texas law states no alimony until after 10 years, then it’s called “spousal support”. My ex didn’t realize this and wanted to call it quits after 9.5 years. I didn’t delay.
I’ve heard him discuss it on podcasts a couple times. He got burned bad with that shit. The last time I heard him discuss it, he can’t go back to Canada because of outstanding support.
‘dem undergarments smell right pleasant.
“If you do acid. Wait an hour before you swim”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DB4z492z2hg
Is Kids in the Hall on any streaming service?
I hope so, along with SCTV.
Service? No.
*cough* mywatchseries *cough* (dot) to/serie/the_kids_in_the_hall *cough*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qK1ga44ZxI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nvzEqsZIGo
We could have live-blogged American Ninja Warriors. Another missed opportunity.
Evening internetters.
How-Dee. When’s the next release of Baking With Litre_cola dropping?
Saturday morning my good man. The mrs gave me an idea last week and I am doing it tomorrow.
Very nice, getting the munchies just thinking about it.
Gimme back my Funyuns, Dammit!!!!!
We have any good coders in the house? I think it would be cool to have a countdown timer running continuously in the bottom right corner set to the first game of the regular season. This is taking waaaaayyyyy too long.
Best I can do is not a timer but a countdown of how many ribs Any Reid can still eat before the season starts.
That’s pretty simple, you just have the infinity sign.
There is no such number. Not even in theoretical circles.
We used to have to do that to log on to WordPress.
Wouldn’t that be the actual definition of a googol?
Ok, after further consideration, I can make it a countdown until Cleveland wins the super bowl. That should be more realistic?
Whatever happened to Dave Foley? I always thought he was a pretty funny Canuck.
Got divorced. Owes more in alimony a year than anyone other than a sports star or A list actor can make. Spends his life doing every bit part he can to not have money.
Wow, that seriously sucks. Nothing worse than a vindictive ex, even when everybody loses.
17k a month. Kids are adults now, but he’s 500k under. Don’t know what it drops to for just the ex. Judge done fucked up and I used to work this beat.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=7Vu_DBhnC0k
Back when Playboy was Playboy, I wonder if they ever did a pictorial on Women of Curling. If they didn’t, they need to/should have. Were talking serious freezer section pokies here folks!
Back before everybody shaved.
I don’t shave, I “groom”. Sounds more manly.
Actually, no it doesn’t. Wow, I keep learning more about myself every day!
Either the joke flew by your head or you posed for Playboy in the late 70s early 80s.
Oh I got it alright. I was just, what’s the word, emphasizing?
OK, so your mom posed; that’s good hustle.
Playboy stopped being playboy in the 90s.
I was more of a BIG’UNS man myself.
I hear Winnipeg has great parks.
I am from there originally. Yes it does. Summers are fantastic, winters are Siberian.
Making this for the wife’s gay uncles’ 4th of july/anniversary bbq tomorrow. They’re cheap so I know people are still gonna be hungry when dessert rolls around.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZtLfQ1sD8Y
How many gay uncles are there if I might ask?
GRAMMAR!!!!!
2.
Dang, I was hoping for six.
(that’s what they said)
Also, that looks really good. I don’t care if that makes me cheap.
I had an ex-relative that insisted on making a litter box cake for every occasion. Funerals, weddings, housewarming, kid’s first birthday…didn’t matter.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdEExeQ8D8U
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xe6ozggkqDQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D80NLUcixPg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iwqIazaeeJc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJUgu9qr8wI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Izj2xo97D9k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IY_bhVSGKEg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mCAiBmA_bK8
Jesús!
Evening lizard people. First day off in two and a half weeks meant I went running around Central Park with Hermana Weaselo definitely not playing Pokemon Go, shut up.
You think you can just post photos of hot Canadians and it will all just magically be OK?
OK, fine, maybe you can. But still.
COME ON COBIE, WE’RE LEAVING!!!!!
Vicodin and bourbon for dinner!