TGISF…aka “You Look Good With That Between Your Legs” Sexy Friday Open Thread

Recovery Mode

It has been a busy week.  The July 4th holiday falling on a Tuesday might have given us a nice long drunken weekend last weekend, granted.  But then we had to find a way to fit a full week’s worth of adult responsibilities into just three days.

While hung over!!!!!

That doesn’t seem right.  So, IMHO, we’ve earned the right to get crazy this weekend.  We Deserve It!!!!!

Now just hold on a minute, Clint.  We’re not talking about blowing Gene Hackman’s face off or anything.  Just a little innocent fun…

Fine.  Whatever.  You don’t have to like it, you just have to get your mind right with the inevitability of it.

OH WE GON’ DRANK!!!!!

Yeah, I’d be careful pointing that finger around, Pal.  Didn’t end too well for ya the last time.

Bennie and His Jet Ski.

Sorry.  That’s actually a really bad joke from a long, long while ago in my past.  It wasn’t particularly funny then.  It’s less funny now.  Especially if you know its origins.

Even back then, I tended to hang out with a lot of dark humoured fuckers.

(Present company excluded, of course)

OK, fine.  There was even a limerick….

I once had a friend named Bennie…

Whose outtie became an innie…

When he got on a Jet Ski…

And fractured his Pee Pee…

And now we’ll just call him “Bendie”.

OK fine, the last line doesn’t rhyme well.  But it’s funny*.

*Bennie’s opinion of the humour differs significantly, admittedly.

MOVING ON!!!!!!

But yes, summer activities.

I tried to tell ya’s two weeks ago.  Did you listen?  No…you were drunk.

If you haven’t deduced it from the title (or at least the banner image?), then you’re probably still drunk.  And maybe stupid.

Our theme this week is Jet Ski Girls!!!!!!!

I spent a little time on a Jet Ski over the Independence Day weekend for the first time in a while.  It was fun.  And watching some of the other folks…yes females…enjoying themselves on the Jet Skis…well it got me to “thinking”.

I know.  I can hear your skepticism.

But trust me.  Or don’t…but at least look before you judge…

See how happy they look?  And those things vibrate too.

Not saying, just saying.

A Random Thought

My father used to say (I’m paraphrasing) that our perception of time is such that by the time the Fourth of July passes, Summer is basically over.  The first time he said this to me I was just a dumb little kid.  And my thought at the time was something like “Hey crazy old man, you’re fucked in the head for thinking that”.

I was a kid.  I was on summer vacation from school.  I wanted summer to last forever.

But as I’ve gotten older, more and more I’ve noticed the phenomena to which he was referring.  And I don’t hate it, quite frankly.  Because where summer used to represent a little well-earned kid freedom, now it represents annoyances, more often than not.  Plus the heat (and humidity in my locale) is just not fun anymore.  Not that it ever was.

Plus it’s in the way of football.

tl;dr :  Fuck you summer.  Autumn can’t get here fast enough.

Uninformed Sports Report

Mostly because this week I haven’t paid particularly close attention to anything pertaining to sports.

NFL

Training Camps start in two and a half weeks.  That’s good, right?

 

MLB

They’re still playing mostly bad baseball.  Also, my little four team playoff scenario I outlined last week (first four teams to 50 wins, blah, blah, blah) got screwed up this week as Colorado and Washington both got their 50th wins on the same day.  So now we have five teams.  Jerks.  I guess now we gotta schedule a one game play-in b/w the Rockies and the Nats right after the All-Star Break.

Yes, I’m rambling about non-existent and meaningless stuff again.

Anyway, the MLB All-Star Game is next week (Tuesday, 7/11) along with all of the associated bullshit…..errrrr pageantry.  Monday night is the HR Derby, btw.

Why do they call it a “derby”?  Will there be horses later?

Anywhooo….

Tonight:

  • Milwaukee at NYY – 7:00pmEDT – MLBN (regional split)
  • Detroit at Cleveland – 7:00pmEDT – MLBN (regional split)

Full Schedule

 

Wimbledon

Yep, it’s in full swing and will still be going strong for the next week.  Get used to it.  Also, I’m told by reliable sources that some of the women’s players are somewhat attractive.

In a related matter, I’ve also learned that at least a handful of you have questionable taste….

I suppose if I’m being honest, I already knew that.  But….Yeeeesh.  Anyone have two bags I can borrow?

 

NBA Summer League

I’m hesitant to even include this here, but some of you might care, so here….

Tonight:

  • Toronto vs New Orleans – 6:00pmEDT – NBATV
  • Milwaukee vs Cleveland – 6:30pmEDT – ESPN2
  • Brooklyn vs Atlanta – 8:00pmEDT – NBATV
  • LAL vs LAC – 8:30pmEDT – ESPN  (wow, I sure hope LA wins)
  • Houston vs Denver – 10:00pmEDT – NBATV
  • Phoenix vs Sacramento – 10:30pmEDT – ESPN2

 

Jet Ski Sexy

OK, time to put on our life vests and our coolest shades and go see what we can see.

Enjoy….

See?  Not bad, huh?

Anyway, I hope everyone has a great weekend.

Love ya’s.

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Doktor Zymm

It turns out lawyers don’t surf!

And you can still go undercover with your real name, as long as you played in the Rose Bowl and are named Johnny Utah and can’t fucking act.

King Hippo

I can verify the first part!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I have one out of 3

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Precode….

herodotus450

Not pictured: Brick’s copy of Swank.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JESUS! SHE NEEDS A TRIM JOB!

King Hippo

/volunteers

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Damn it!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Car keys? Phone? KEEP LOOKING!

scotchnaut

“Don’t blame me-you fell asleep that way and I couldn’t find a blanket for you.”

-Bill Cosby

King Hippo

BANNER MATERIAL

Romonobyl

Bill Cosby like his women the same way he likes his pudding pops…
– passed out cold.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

23 WINDOWS COUNT ‘EM

Brick Meathook

. . .19, 20, 21. . . huh? THIS ONE IS CHEATING

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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FASHION!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Betty Gilpin -Nurse Jackie (2013)
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

h

ttps://68.media.tumblr.com/16548a492334917d4c5bed5ddffa622b/tumblr_os2697qe5m1woycbwo2_400.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Questionable taste? Hingis was girl next door sexy back in the day and I loathe IPA’s. That is good taste IMO.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There are so many different IPAs out there that is like saying “I hate the visible light spectrum.”

But anyway; taste is subject and however various IPA or Martina would hit your taste buds is OK….. except of course on the internet.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
scotchnaut

“We need to do something that will make us stand out from the crowd. I GOT IT! LET’S MAKE AN IPA!”

-Craft Brewers Everywhere

herodotus450

“Shit, making good beer is hard. I know, let’s just make it as bitter as possible and call it an IPA!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s fine if you are a wine drinkers.

“….. except of course on the internet.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s like saying;

“We need to do something that will make us stand out from the crowd. I GOT IT! LET’S MAKE AN PILSNER!”

-Craft Brewers Everywhere

It is one of the basics in everyone’s menu.

scotchnaut

Meh. If I ever got into craft brewing I’d make a Double-Pressed Drink The Kool Aid Circle Jerk IPA for the lot of you. And someone would end up liking it. (before anyone else did)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You sound like you know what you are talking about; you should tweet a lot.

scotchnaut

I don’t-I was just having fun. You should have a beer to take the edge off.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OK…..

King Hippo

and what does Hippo order at every bar he enters?

The IPA on tap that looks most interesting/local. I HAVE FINALLY EARNED SCOTCHY’S SHAME!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Me too; this is the internet, you and I are stoopid for subjectively liking something somebody doesn’t. It’s fucking hilarious because there are so many different versions of IPAs that you could easily find one that they’d like in a blind taste. It is also hilarious because we never have the stout, porter, etc. hatred, but those range from great to shitty tasting. People who condemn all IPAs usually don’t know anything about beers, but it is the “neat” thing to say, like “those hipsters, we hate the hipsters, hey congress; what a bunch of clowns! (ok, that one has some merit)” or whatever.

King Hippo

the anti-IPA pushback actually just makes me like it a little more. My think is I know it won’t (i) taste like weasel piss (as some pilsners/lagers will) or (ii) give me a blinding migraine (like some of the darker ones will). Beyond that, it’s a pretty good taste ride now that there are so many goddamned brewers that one can’t keep track.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There are plenty of terrible, unbalanced, overhopped, poorly made IPAs out there and a few people who like them because they think they should. There are also thousands of well balanced, delicious ones, most brewers know how to accomplish that, some have a bitterness hop pissing contest which gets out of hand, but that is a minority. Lumping it all into one is ignorant. “Get a flight and try different ones and calm your self-righteous tits.” As they say.

litre_cola

No. I am bartending and not drinking

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

oh HAI there? U new in town??

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

If young teenage me was correct, the marketing of this movie consisted solely of ‘underwater t-shirt nipple boobs’.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

and E-rekt

Horatio Cornblower

Nick Nolte did not age well at all.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

PLAY FREEBIRD!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

MAH GIRL!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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OH YEAH, AND HAPPY FUCKING FRIDAY MY FINE BITCHES!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

I discovered the female orgasm, right about the same time those scientists discovered cold fusion.

Both discoveries had a lot in common.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I don’t read the tabloid, but her gifs always seem friendly.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I like small ones too.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Emily Shaw; never forget.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

The dude on the right is going to kill and eat him, so it’s totes cool.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Not sure if there’s a fly in my room, or just a floaty thing in my eye. Or maybe that brain tumor has finally made it to the optic nerve.

scotchnaut

Did an annual physical about a month ago

Doctor informed me that my uric acid levels were high

Pshaw! Whatever…

Last Thursday big toe starts to swell-no biggie

Made a prime rib roast on Friday-ate quite a bit

Saturday afternoon can’t fit foot into sneaker

Can’t put any weight at all on foot for five days now.

This has been-“Lessons In Willful Stupidity” by Yours Truly

scotchnaut

Wifey and I had been working on reducing red meat but then grilling season reared its delicious head. THIS AIN’T FAIR T’ALL!!!

/Teva-Indomethacin for the win!
//”You know it’s good when ‘meth’ is right there in the name!”

King Hippo

GET. OPIATES.

King Hippo

ain’t failed me yet! Who wouldn’t want my sweet, burn out, recluse, sexless, junkie life??

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So…basically you have gout?

scotchnaut

[looks at swollen foot]

I thought it was obvious.

herodotus450

With all these picture mishaps I guess I’ll finally have to learn to read and write to express myself.

JustStopDude

Evening gents. I went home to visit family this 4th. I met up with my brother’s kids, who are young.

I am now incredibly kid sick. Fucking shit is coming out of every hole in my fucking head. On top of that, I landed in Toronto around 4pm. DEAR FUCKING GOD THE TRAFFIC HERE IS UNREAL!

Dear Canada…you got fucking 9.985 million km² to chose from…you don’t all need to live in the same fucking 30 miles radius…

scotchnaut

Jesus! Can you give us at least one metropolis?

/There are plenty of us that are doing our part by living in Northern Limited Services City
//I think it’s only about 20% of the whole… but still

King Hippo

the courtesans and the crackheads gotta live somewhere ,, amirite??

Plus…Kids in the Hall muthafucka!!

scotchnaut

It wasn’t called “Kids on a Barren, Endless Plain” for no reason. We need that one city we got. How else are we gonna have inflated real estate values?

herodotus450

The only sensible solution is that we take Toronto back, even out the border to a nice straight line. That’ll show those hosers.

scotchnaut

Careful now-your sky-high “Cops Killing Unarmed Civilians” stats may sink to historic statistical lows.

Are you sure that’s what you want?

herodotus450

I just want you savages to pay up for the 1812 White House repair bill. And to apologize for having an 8-game series of ANYTHING.

scotchnaut

I’d like to point out that we also devastated (Fort) Detroit about 150 years before your own citizens/politicians bothered to do so.

/we’re prescient like that

herodotus450

Oh we blame you for the current devastation as well: all the prosperity fled Detroit for your socialist paradise, Windsor.

King Hippo

NEVAR!!!!1111

litre_cola

Please do.

King Hippo

Kenny Powers is gonna apply FOAR a DFO Commentist Party card now. Get ready, bitches.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Not even joking. I kept listening to Jamiroquai on repeat and this was the first recommended song I saw that I knew.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bV-hSgL1R74

herodotus450

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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I can’t remember who posted this before. It has been stuck in my head since then. I think I will ruin a few more peoples early evenings.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vE4VlA_9OrI

SonOfSpam

(curtsies)

Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
Doktor Zymm

I made a soccer joke at a meeting recently, and someone followed up with a cricket joke! I guffawed.

WCS

The Flys chug severed donkey dick.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I know tWBS puts a ton of work into this, and is raw from way too much jerking, but 15 less pictures and letting the comments do the work would work just as well, right? My computer hates the photo load on normal posts and this and then the comments makes it want to die.

SonOfSpam

Dammit.
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Love this. My bad

herodotus450

Pic related
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Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I feel i was too harsh. was mocking my shitty computer. I apologize

SonOfSpam

(Seamus has already mailed an exploding dildo to Van’s mom’s house.)

ballsofsteelandfury

You are both wrong.

MOAR PICTURES!!

SonOfSpam

Looks like SOMEONE bought the Costco-sized Jergens!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Nicely done. Except for the anorexic girl. She looks like kindling.

SonOfSpam

So she probably smokes after sex.

herodotus450

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herodotus450

I guess just manually adding an ‘s’ (called ‘essin it’ by us cool kids) doesn’t always work.

ballsofsteelandfury

NEW FETISH!!

SonOfSpam

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Unsurprised

Screech looks like shit now

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