Recovery Mode
It has been a busy week. The July 4th holiday falling on a Tuesday might have given us a nice long drunken weekend last weekend, granted. But then we had to find a way to fit a full week’s worth of adult responsibilities into just three days.
While hung over!!!!!
That doesn’t seem right. So, IMHO, we’ve earned the right to get crazy this weekend. We Deserve It!!!!!
Now just hold on a minute, Clint. We’re not talking about blowing Gene Hackman’s face off or anything. Just a little innocent fun…
Fine. Whatever. You don’t have to like it, you just have to get your mind right with the inevitability of it.
OH WE GON’ DRANK!!!!!
Yeah, I’d be careful pointing that finger around, Pal. Didn’t end too well for ya the last time.
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Bennie and His Jet Ski.
Sorry. That’s actually a really bad joke from a long, long while ago in my past. It wasn’t particularly funny then. It’s less funny now. Especially if you know its origins.
Even back then, I tended to hang out with a lot of dark humoured fuckers.
(Present company excluded, of course)
OK, fine. There was even a limerick….
I once had a friend named Bennie…
Whose outtie became an innie…
When he got on a Jet Ski…
And fractured his Pee Pee…
And now we’ll just call him “Bendie”.
OK fine, the last line doesn’t rhyme well. But it’s funny*.
*Bennie’s opinion of the humour differs significantly, admittedly.
MOVING ON!!!!!!
But yes, summer activities.
I tried to tell ya’s two weeks ago. Did you listen? No…you were drunk.
If you haven’t deduced it from the title (or at least the banner image?), then you’re probably still drunk. And maybe stupid.
Our theme this week is Jet Ski Girls!!!!!!!
I spent a little time on a Jet Ski over the Independence Day weekend for the first time in a while. It was fun. And watching some of the other folks…yes females…enjoying themselves on the Jet Skis…well it got me to “thinking”.
I know. I can hear your skepticism.
But trust me. Or don’t…but at least look before you judge…
See how happy they look? And those things vibrate too.
Not saying, just saying.
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A Random Thought
My father used to say (I’m paraphrasing) that our perception of time is such that by the time the Fourth of July passes, Summer is basically over. The first time he said this to me I was just a dumb little kid. And my thought at the time was something like “Hey crazy old man, you’re fucked in the head for thinking that”.
I was a kid. I was on summer vacation from school. I wanted summer to last forever.
But as I’ve gotten older, more and more I’ve noticed the phenomena to which he was referring. And I don’t hate it, quite frankly. Because where summer used to represent a little well-earned kid freedom, now it represents annoyances, more often than not. Plus the heat (and humidity in my locale) is just not fun anymore. Not that it ever was.
Plus it’s in the way of football.
tl;dr : Fuck you summer. Autumn can’t get here fast enough.
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Uninformed Sports Report
Mostly because this week I haven’t paid particularly close attention to anything pertaining to sports.
NFL
Training Camps start in two and a half weeks. That’s good, right?
MLB
They’re still playing mostly bad baseball. Also, my little four team playoff scenario I outlined last week (first four teams to 50 wins, blah, blah, blah) got screwed up this week as Colorado and Washington both got their 50th wins on the same day. So now we have five teams. Jerks. I guess now we gotta schedule a one game play-in b/w the Rockies and the Nats right after the All-Star Break.
Yes, I’m rambling about non-existent and meaningless stuff again.
Anyway, the MLB All-Star Game is next week (Tuesday, 7/11) along with all of the associated bullshit…..errrrr pageantry. Monday night is the HR Derby, btw.
Why do they call it a “derby”? Will there be horses later?
Anywhooo….
Tonight:
- Milwaukee at NYY – 7:00pmEDT – MLBN (regional split)
- Detroit at Cleveland – 7:00pmEDT – MLBN (regional split)
Wimbledon
Yep, it’s in full swing and will still be going strong for the next week. Get used to it. Also, I’m told by reliable sources that some of the women’s players are somewhat attractive.
In a related matter, I’ve also learned that at least a handful of you have questionable taste….
I suppose if I’m being honest, I already knew that. But….Yeeeesh. Anyone have two bags I can borrow?
NBA Summer League
I’m hesitant to even include this here, but some of you might care, so here….
Tonight:
- Toronto vs New Orleans – 6:00pmEDT – NBATV
- Milwaukee vs Cleveland – 6:30pmEDT – ESPN2
- Brooklyn vs Atlanta – 8:00pmEDT – NBATV
- LAL vs LAC – 8:30pmEDT – ESPN (wow, I sure hope LA wins)
- Houston vs Denver – 10:00pmEDT – NBATV
- Phoenix vs Sacramento – 10:30pmEDT – ESPN2
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Jet Ski Sexy
OK, time to put on our life vests and our coolest shades and go see what we can see.
Enjoy….
See? Not bad, huh?
Anyway, I hope everyone has a great weekend.
Love ya’s.
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