25 Questions About…


I speak of course, about the ole In-n-Out.  If you are reading the header, you are probably thinking, “There goes Balls, going into something sexual again!  I wonder if he’s going to talk about ass play again…”  Well, dear reader, you are partially correct.  As you well know, I can turn ANY subject into a sexual subject.

It’s a gift.

Really, though, let’s talk about those juicy delicious babies.  My mouth is watering just looking at the picture and it’s only 7 AM as I’m writing this.   You may have…. questions.

1- Does anyone in their right mind look at the calories when getting In-n-Out?

2- Do people get annoyed about the “secret menu” or do they think it’s a cool thing?

3- Is it weird that other companies like Starbucks are now incorporating a “secret menu” into their offerings?

4- Does that mean the “secret menu” has sold out to the man, man?

5- I’m assuming Asian massage parlors have the ultimate secret menu, amirite?

6- Is there where I stick the anal reference in this post?

7- Isn’t “giving her the ole in-n-out” kind of a weird phrase?

8- I mean, it’s really the “ole in and a little deeper in”, right?

9- Or for some of us, the “ole in and a LOT deeper in”, amirite fellas?  Up top!

10- Why did you mess up the high five, man?

11- Have you ever had an In-n-Out shake?

12- Those are some thick fuckers aren’t they?

13- True story, did you know porn stars in the valley warm up for BJ scenes by going to In-n-Out and getting a strawberry shake?

14- If it’s a BBC scene, they’re probably getting chocolate, right?

15- Did you know that, in certain parts of Southern California (cough cough Oxnard cough cough), people actually stick fries in their Wendy’s Frosty and eat them that way?

16- Is this a thing anywhere else in the country?

17- Says a lot about Oxnard, doesn’t it?

18- So,  is sticking a hot fry into a cold frosty akin to sticking a penis into a cold butthole?

19- Are you surprised it took me until question 18 to make the anal reference?

20- Is that what “Animal Style” on the In-n-Out secret menu refers to?

21- Are the other animals pissed that we call it Doggie style instead of Animal style?

22- Like, why can’t it be Cat style?

23- Would that ruin the song?

24- Lion style sounds more regal and classy,  doesn’t it?

25- No way any girl turns down Lion style with a roar as you come,  right?



International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Beastmode Ate My Baby

Wait…there’s a real In-N-Out?

Well, fuck.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Hard Ride to Nowhere: Special Copyright Infringement Episode!


Wendy’s fries in a frosty used to be great until they switched to sea salt but still salted the fries the same amount, making them damn near inedible.


Regional burger joints was mentioned below. Wish you guys had this one. They’re very good, isolated to the southeast currently…

King Hippo

they cajun chicken sandwich is quite good too


There’s some kind of weird battle going on between In-n-Out vs. Whataburger, even though the number of communities that have both of theses regional operations is limited at best. Where I live there are so many Whataburgers you can use them to give directions.
” Go straight for three Whataburgers and turn left, go on for two more Whataburgers then…”
In-n-Out hasn’t quite migrated this far south yet, but I hear the fries suck.


In-n-Out is so forgettable that I have to assume Whataburger fries are better even though they were pretty lame. But the ketchup is tits.


Very true, you can even by bottles of their ketchup and mustard at HEB grocery stores. Both are, as the kids say, all that.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

In college, one of my roommates ordered a “grilled cheese, protein style” which is just melted cheese between two pieces of lettuce. More than anything, we were curious HOW they would melt the cheese without scorching the lettuce.

We tried to watch them make it, but it was busy and got lost in the wave of orders. They managed to do it though!

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King Hippo

If’n you go to an Asian massage parlor and DON’T ask for anything sexual or weird, do they, like, talk shit about you for weeks??


Whatever you do, do NOT ask your masseuse for Fist Of Fury.

King Hippo

nah, I am 44 and can replicate that effect economically by simply eating red meat


I was wondering about that. I’m in LA (very briefly) and could use a massage but am actually worried about accidentally going to the wrong place.


Dammit balls. Now I want to fuck a burger in the ass.
And I don’t even know how to find that on the menu.
I hate you sometimes.


Big Mac will let you do that twice for five bucks.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Yeah, where do you think the special sauce comes from?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Pro tip; wait until it cools down a bit.

Don T

Soda Stereo approves lion-style
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Don T

FUN FACT: the first track is the best song about Sundays (looking at you, U2, Blur, Vatican City…)

Game Time Decision

mmm burgers. damn those look good.
/has chicken and veggies for lunch

King Hippo

Beats my lunch!

/water and shame


Secret menu is stupid anywhere, just give me what i want dammit.
I am with Yeah Right, 5 guys is better quality. But i do still hit in and out when down south. Hee hee.


Eh, 5 Guys is better.

You really can turn these sexual without much effort, can’t you?

Enrico Pallazzo

Welp…it was a good run but I’m never getting a chocolate shake in public again.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Don’t get any on your nose.