Your “The Drag Queens and the Freaks Are All Out On the Town” Saturday Evening Open Thread

 

/logs into the site for the first time in two weeks…

394 PENDING USERS

hmm… guess the site is a backdoor into the Democratic Party. Someone better warn RedShirt.


Hi everyone! Europe was great. Adele cancelled the show we were supposed to see, but we overcame those odds by drinking wine in Tuscany for 6 days. It’s how one makes do. The downside was flying home via Rome & Montreal – Lufthansa had us in the nicest of Airbuses back to Canada, and Air Canada flew us home from Montreal in the belly of a converted water bomber.

Now, since I have your attention, here’s the vacation slides:

London: Canada Day in Trafalgar Square

Brighton:

Florence: The Ponte Vecchio

Siena:

Rome:

Now we don’t have to do it at New Year’s.

Thanks to everyone who covered my bony arse with a barrage of quality open threads. BACK TO MEDIOCRITY!


Tonight’s sports:

  • CFL:
    • Lions vs. Tiger-Cats – 7:30PM | TSN
      • sorry ‘Merica – the next game on The Deuce is July 24
  •  Futbol:
    • CONCACAF Copa Oro 2017:
      • Nicaragua vs. USA – 7:00PM | UNI / FXX / TSN2
    • Los Angeles Galaxy vs. Manchester United – 10:00PM | ESPN2
  • AFL:
    • Freemantle vs. West Coast – 2:30AM | TSN2
  • MLB:
    • Blue Jays at Tigers – 6:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Rangers at Royals – 7:00PM | FS1
    • Indians at A’s – 9:00PM \ Sportsnet
  • Fisticuffs:
    • Figueroa vs. Guerrero (welterweights) – 8:00PM | FOX
    • James vs. Dan (welterweights) – 10:00PM | FS1

GET ON ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

SUCK THAT BATSY!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Not entirely sure why this video popped into my mind

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Af7UD-IxzZI

Horatio Cornblower

I’m playing on-line poker with a Russian.

There’s no way I’m not getting subpoenaed is there?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Say “Let’s make America Great Again” in chat, if you get a positive response you are fine

Horatio Cornblower

The Brazilian knocked me out of the tournament in 3rd place. I made $26,400.

In totally fake money.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Fucking Krieger

litre_cola

Is she peeing on you?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am watching Popstar Never Stop Never Stopping and drinking rosé. What has become of me?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OOOF. Change the channel please; it’s your only hope.

litre_cola

I don’t understand those words grouped together.

Horatio Cornblower

Hope?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THANKS OBAMA’S DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION.

litre_cola

Never stop never stopping. I mean if they never stopped there would never be stopping.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hope to enjoy, even slightly, your viewing experience.

Horatio Cornblower

I couldn’t get into that one but ‘Tour du Pharmacy’ was very funny.

Horatio Cornblower

Why does Cumberland Farms think I give a shit what Michael Rapaport thinks about my coffee choices?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Did you get an email from him about the over-roasted morning blend you bought?

Horatio Cornblower

I just saw an ad on TV , and there’s a radio campaign up here in New England where he’s yelling about “calling you out” if he sees you paying too much for coffee.

Because anyone cares.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Weird, because he sent me an email and seemed to know a lot about my coffee buying habits. WEIRD.

Horatio Cornblower

MAYBE!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Perhaps.

Horatio Cornblower
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I am still worried they are gonna ruin her character this season. Twists and just bad writing are interchangeable at this point.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

To clarify. I mean in general on TV. Though the show has some insane logic sometimes.

Horatio Cornblower

It’s a show about dragons and zombies. Logic has nothing to do with it.

Also all the characters have aged 7 years in real time while I think the time on the show is at most 2 years, which is kind of hilarious.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

THIS SUPERMAN MOVIE IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO UNREALISTIC!!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Superman is the worst hero. He has every power. Still can’t save the city.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

“OH NO! A GUY WITH A BELT! DO I FIGHT HIM?”
*fight*
“HEY DICKBAG LET’S TALK ABOUT OUR MOM’S””
“MARTHA!!!!!”
“OH NO A REAL BAD GUY IS HERE. I CAN’T HELP”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Thus the point.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I think the show ages them better than the books based on time traveled. I haven’t read all the books but the time it would take to do the stuff they do would take a lot longer based on the maps in the books and various things said by the actors.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ve read all 5. I’m pretty convinced there won’t be a 6th.

Horatio Cornblower

I could be wrong but I don’t see it happening at this point on the show. Martin would do it in a clogged heartbeat but it’s not his call any more. I think the rest of the show is spent getting rid of the remaining baddies, Cersei, The Mountain, Littlefinger and the Ice Zombies. I do think Arya will die, but Jon, Tyrion, Daenrys and Sansa will make it to the end.

Maybe.

Related: Hi, I’m a huge nerd!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Hi. I was always open about my problem!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Plus tits.

Don’t forget the tits.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Mountain That Reads.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So creepy but not illegal? I am all for that.

Not that this lusting from our living rooms really affects anything.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Bigger

Senor Weaselo

Somehow my favorite city pizzeria might be better warm or even at room temperature. Either way it was a good call to have one slice pre concert and one post. How goes it?

Horatio Cornblower

Fair to middlin’

Horatio Cornblower

Fun story. This morning at about 1 AM I’m letting the dog out. Our recycling bin, (LIBTARD FAG!!!), is right outside the back door. A couple of days ago my son had tossed a cardboard cake box out in it, because if we kept in the house we;d get ants.

Well if you throw it outside you get opossums. Biggest one I’ve ever seen sitting in the recycling happier than a pig in shit with his face buried in the leftover frosting. I didn’t have the heart to chase him off.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My dog cornered a possum last month and it actually played dead. First time I’d seen one do that in real life.

Horatio Cornblower

This one did play dead, or at least just kind of freeze. I’ve seen it once before when a friend’s Lab got one in the driveway. Thing just fell over with its mouth open and lay there. Dog had no idea what to do and eventually wandered off, so i guess it worked.

litre_cola

Works for Aaron Rodgers too.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Do you mean Tony Romo after the last injury?

He hasn’t been sacked since.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think my dog would have tried carrying it around, judging by other dead stuff.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My dog was the same way – just kind of stared at it for a while.

Horatio Cornblower

I cracked open my first beer 10 minutes ago. It’s been a long and superstition-riddled day. “I’m not drinking, and the Yankees aren’t losing, therefore…”

My second beer is about to be cracked open. Ballast Point Manta and Unfiltered is anyone gives a shit.

Senor Weaselo

And Chapman didn’t walk everyone known to man, so that’s nice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I give a shit; good choices and cheers.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

Christ – I actually had to call the police on a neighbor today. How fucking old am I?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Do you want an actual guess?

blaxabbath

I’m more mad at the neighbor for being the kind of shithole that you have to call the cops on because no sense of reasoning or general decency goes anywhere with those pieces of trash.

Horatio Cornblower

54?

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I was gonna go younger. 39.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Playing Price is Right Style

Horatio Cornblower

That’s a good strategy.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

God damnit me. How am I already so close to the amount of booze I meant to save for Game of Thrones tomorrow? Fuck, I have to go the store when I have brunch with my mom tomorrow.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

My sky is lighting up like a fireworks show now. The rain has gone but there was a lighting strike somewhere else lighting up the sky every 3 seconds the entire time I was out for a cig.

litre_cola

Did anyone clean up the club house while tequilahombrejose was gone? Hope your stolen cell phones sold well Jose.

Brick Meathook

Flying Boat
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Flying Boat
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Flying Boat
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Not Flying Boat
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Wakezilla

/me after the Liouns shit the bed on their first series: “Yup, that looks right. And Jennings is out too? Lovely ”

Nice to see the Liouns rebounded nicely after that awful firsy drive and win

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Dirty liberals need you. One person my mom took in as a person in need told me the story of how she lied to the police about being physically abused to get out of a speeding ticket. Then 10 min later was back to trying to convert me to Christianity as the only way to save me.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

We had just met at the time, and she needed to borrow a cig from me, that is all it took for that.

Redshirt

Truth be told, if I wasn’t against Abortion, Welfare Expansion, Entitlements and very strict Gun Control, I would probably be a Democrat. Too many poison pills that puts me on Team Elephant.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

There is probably a middle ground on 2 of those with me, 1 that you won’t change on because of what you believe and one that I could probably show you that you are misinformed on based on all the data collected since the program was formed, but I am kinda buzzed so too lazy.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Also less fun

Redshirt

I appreciate the honesty.

blaxabbath

It can’t be said enough around here: you’ve been missed beerguyross!

Redshirt

So Kid Rock is running for the Senate as a Republican, and it looks like more Republicans are falling in line with Trump.

In a somewhat related topic, is Seppuku performed with a square or triangle?

Romonobyl

Side to side for attention, up and down for results.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just cut through the liver and you’ll be fine…… wait, phrasing.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Line, left to right. Make sure to hit the aeorta or you got yourself a gunshot wound to the stomach death. But don’t leave us, we need you.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

What makes you say that more Republicans are falling in line? It is just wishful thinking that I’m starting to feel like the tide is turning?

blaxabbath

Correct.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean, I know you’ve got (and will continue to have) your holdouts, but I’d have thought it would be pretty tough to doublethink away the latest.

/btw, Trump is now paying for his kid’s legal expenses using campaign money. Starting three weeks ago.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Redshirt

Its just what I’m hearing in the newspaper and online. Instead of combatting Trump or going at alone, they are trying to get this Health Care passed so Trump can have an Legislative Achievement.

If they thought Trump was going down, they wouldn’t try to help him at all and would be positioning behind the scenes for Pence to take over and get ready for ’18 to hold Congress.

Shogun Marcus

I think when things were “calmer” they figured they could block anything taking him down. But if things keep moving as they are, the united front is going to crack. Pence is already preparing.

Redshirt

Oh, yeah. He is in the Gerald Ford Bubble in the basement of Number One Observatory Circle, completely shielded from all fault, ready to be popped when ready to be Sworn In and to pardon Trump.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Can only pardon for federal charges – what I have been reading suggests that he (and his) will be facing state charges in NY as well. Given the way everybody has been lawyering up, it’s hard to imagine this going away anytime soon.

Senor Weaselo

I believe it’s with the tanto which depending on your classification is either a big knife or a small sword.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

So after being taken to the cleaners at the casino, I decided to walk down and check out the Reds game after it started. $20 for nose bleed seats. The Reds are 10 games out and the cheapest seats they got are $20.

Out of principle, I decided not to show up for the game. And judged by the score, neither did the Reds.

Romonobyl

How much for a plastic cup of bad beer?

Redshirt

I think $6, but I’ve never been in the bar in the Stadium with micro-brews. I imagine that’s closer to $15.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If I didn’t know better I’d think Mike Brown owned the Reds.

/he doesn’t, does he?

Redshirt

No. Though Bob Castellini and Mike Brown haven’t been seen at the same time. Come to think of it, Bob Castellini, Mike Brown and Batman haven’t been seen at the same time.

You don’t think…?

Romonobyl

“Belly of a water bomber” sounds like a freakish sex act popular in rural Montana.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fun fact: my username is taken from this show (well, sort of – it was a throwaway joke made by one of the creators during an interview).

Redshirt

Oh, good. Rambo III: Hilarious in Hindsight is on. Rambo aids the Mujahideen in defeating the Soviets leading to the creation of Al Qaeda and the Taliban.

Oops.

Romonobyl

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The Maestro

Welcome home, schnappsbloketim!

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

Is this gonna be a thing? Ok, welcome home shirleytemplechapshirleytemple!

Redshirt

“hmm… guess the site is a backdoor into the Democratic Party. Someone better warn RedShirt.”

No problem, Beerguyrob. I’m a Bengals fan, Reds fan, Buckeyes fan and Moderate Republican. I’m used to be taken in the backdoor.

King Hippo

I laughed. Just you and Gov. Kasich, yelling at clouds.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

While she is none of those, Sasha Grey shares your experience.

Horatio Cornblower

This needs to be a banner quote.

JustStopDude

The Rambo series, currently being shown on IFC, does a wonderful job of showing just how moronic the average American is about foreign relations, warfare, and general history.

I fucking LOVE these films!!!

I was kind of hoping the forth film had John Rambo going back to Afghanistan to assassinate the kid he saved in the 3rd film, who had become a high level terrorist for ISIS.

Redshirt

No. 4th Rambo was good. In hindsight, it was a beta-version of Logan. Old, jaded Rambo guilted into killing people to save people.

JustStopDude

I didn’t say I did not like the 4th. I think its the second strongest in the series, just behind the first one.

I just think it would have been brilliant to have Rambo having to go back and clean up his mess.

Redshirt

If Stallone was younger, yeah.

And for the record:

First Blood
First Blood 2
Rambo
Rambo III

I haven’t seen Rambo III start-to-finish, but it comes of a Rocky IV but with guns instead of boxing gloves and the best training montage ever.

litre_cola

Packing to road trip for 2 weeks is awful when you got day drunk while your offspring slept and your wife was out for brunch with the girls. 2 tipsys do not make a sober. A lot of people forget that. After heading home I am travelling through your country to answer the question, “Does Wyoming exist?”

Shogun Marcus

No.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I drove through it alternate summer’s growing up (visited southern family one year, western the next). The answer is still no.

Romonobyl

I prefer to call it North Colorado.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

Officially? Yes. Unofficially, its an internment camp. Effectively Gitmo, but lower 48 states proper.

King Hippo

A) I was born there!

B) No, it does not really exist.

Redshirt
Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I put off mowing the lawn today because my ankle I hurt 20 years ago playing hockey was hurting again to the point I could barely walk. There was a 30% of rain in our area tonight. That happened and there is an inch of standing water outside now. I don’t know if I am going to be able to mow tomorrow.

laserguru

One of the many joys of having shit awful knees is the random day when it feels like someone replaced your meniscus with ground glass.

And for no discernable reason.

Fuck this. It’s self medication time.

King Hippo

Best way to medicate!

– your friendly neighbourhood quack

ballsofsteelandfury

Also, Lufthansa is really quite awesome.

ballsofsteelandfury

WELCOME BACK!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

Bunnies make lousy pets anyway.

King Hippo

As I told my chill’uns, they really just large rats with giant ears.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So you’ve been to my neighborhood. I miss the coyotes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

But good stew.

Romonobyl

So if London has a Canada Day in Trafalgar Square, does Montreal have an England Day at the Molson Brewery East Parking Lot?

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s Baltimore Day.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry, thought you said Natty Boh Parking Lot.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

You guys are classless, not even drinking the Natty Ice. You realize how much alcohol you are missing out on per beer.

Romonobyl

Also works great as a thinner for oil-based paint!

Brick Meathook

Water bomber?
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

Whoever came up with the concept of Christmas in July needs to be drawn, quartered, flayed, broken on the wheel, tarred, feathered, spit-roasted then forced to watch Speed 2 on a constant loop in a room full of Justin Beiber fans…Daily.

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I haven’t seen Speed 2 in like 15 years so I remember basically nothing, but I thought I came out of it thinking it was just an slightly lower than ok movie not painfully bad. Plus don’t we get to see Sandra Bullock in a bikini in that one?

Romonobyl

It was worse than Super Bowl Lee.

Shogun Marcus

As I recall the cruise ship crashed for an entire hour of run-time. Or it felt that way.

Romonobyl

Almost as realistic as the 15 minute takeoff roll of the Russian cargo plane in the latest Furious Fisting movie.

Shogun Marcus

Just confirmed we’re going to see Maria Bamford in September up front. We’re bringing our wedding RSVP that she personally wrote back on to say she couldn’t make it.

Shogun Marcus

Bourbledudebob!

litre_cola

Beerguyjim it is great to have you back.

litre_cola

I logged in without the math. Take that Mr. Pomarenski!

JustStopDude
laserguru

I wish somebody had introduced me to the Moscow mule many years prior to when I discovered them.

Goddamn delicious beverage.

JustStopDude

Went to a beer festival thing downtown with a Polish coworker. He cried uncle so back to the house. Sitting on the porch with the parrot on my shoulder, drinking a bridge from the fridge.

It is good to own land. Methinks I will put the parrot in the cage and just pass out on the porch lounge chair and sleep outside.

JustStopDude

Yeah he us a pedo…but for some fucking reason, my parrot goes fucking apeshit for this song…

https://youtu.be/BIsbD0l_bEg

King Hippo

why wud u have a pedo parrot ,, smh

JustStopDude

As long as I keep him away from kids, he is chill…

Marc Trestmans Windowless Van

I wish I had a valid reason to start a sentence with “Sitting on the porch with the parrot on my shoulder”.

Wakezilla

Me to my retired mom: “Hypothetically, I might get a new job in the fall which could cause issues with no-one being able to watch Wakezilla-ette. Could you watch her?”

Mom says no and uses every excuse under the sun why she can’t. She even says that she could get terminally ill one day and therefore it’s not a good idea. She made her point and it is not surprising tbh. I say no problem, this is hypothetical anyway.

15 minutes later, she yells at me for putting me on the spot like that and mad at me for making her look bad (infront of nobody, mind you).

That’s when my dad, in the other room goes “what the hell is mamma Morkie”.

Apparently, my mom has decided she wants to get a dog and didn’t tell my dad and to make things worse, it’s a half Maltese half yorkie mix.

Things couldn’t get any more awkward at this point.

So…. How’s everyone tonight?

King Hippo

maybe you should have asked your Dad instead?

laserguru

As a grandfather I’m not sure I could be relied upon on a regular basis.

When you get older you seek out fewer commitments.

Not a fault nor is it a virtue. It’s simple reality.

litre_cola

there is a lot going on there.

theeWeeBabySeamus

HEY LOOK EVERYBODY!!!!!! THEY LET BEERGUYRICK BACK IN THE COUNTRY!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh yeah…it’s just Canadia.
*sigh*

litre_cola

Havent been kicked out yet!

King Hippo

Also, congrats on not having to sit through Adele.

More importantly…how’s your ass?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yikes, that hadn’t occurred to me.
Lotsa sitting betwixt here and there. Yeeeesh.

King Hippo

Go Team Drugs!!!