Your “What’s Old Is New Again” Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Based on his gradual recovery from shoulder surgery, Andrew Luck will start camp on the PUP list.
    • more time foar gravy!
  • Also PUP’d – Teddy Bridgewater. He is expected to be on it to start the season, which means he’ll automatically miss the first 6 games.
    • Honestly, I think we’d all be happy if he could just walk again.
  • Hopefully at camp – Devonta Freeman, who the Falcons are trying to sign to an extension before he’s supposed to report.
    • Freeman was a 2014 fourth-round pick who has one year and close to $1.8 million left on his rookie deal.
    • Negotiations started strong, but then have petered out as camp day approaches. An achingly familiar scenario.
  • Cowboys-in-court then & now:
    • Ironically named Lucky Whitehead has had a warrant issued for his arrest since he missed a court date on a petit-larceny charge of shoplifting from a convenience store.
      • No word on if he recognizes the irony after the misadventure with his dog a few days ago.
    • Michael Irvin will not be charged with sexual assault by Broward County. No word on if the alleged victim may sue.
  • Packers President Mark Murphy trolled Vikings fans by implying the Packers have a better chance to play the Super Bowl in Minnesota than the Vikings currently do.

Finally, your long-ish read of the day is from ESPN and talks about why teams settle for weak backups, rather than try to carry a 1-b version of their starter.

  • There’s passing mention of Colin Kaepernick, but a similar amount of time devoted to Scott Tolzein. If this was a rationalization piece, I’d expect it to be on nfl.com with a glowing quote from Roger Goodell about how players are free to say what they want.
  • There was also a sad lack of pictures of AJ McCarron’s wife, which normally accompany any story about him like someone said “Beetlejuice” three times..

   


Tonight’s sports:

  • CFL:
    • Ottawa at Toronto – 7:30PM | ESPN2 / TSN
      • a very special episode of the CFL on ESPN, featuring members of the Argos 1996 & 97 Grey Cup team, including Doug Flutie, who is being named the 24th “All-time Argo” tonight.
  • MLB:
    • A’s at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Rockies at Cardinals – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • Red Sox at Mariners – 10:00Pm | Sportsnet1
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • it’s one month to SummerSlam, a cross-brand promotion, so matches will start taking shape tonight & tomorrow.

I was going through the list of “pending” Commentists, and noticed a large uptick in the number of requests from the Ukraine. Based on that, the Russians may now keep the Crimea. I do love pirogi, but I don’t enjoy them with spam. IT HAS BEEN SPOKEN!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

123
Leave a Reply

Please Login to comment
28 Comment threads
95 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
20 Comment authors
UnsurprisedSenor WeaseloWCSMr. AyotheeWeeBabySeamus Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
Notify of
WCS

I know none of yinz are watching the Dirt Stillers-Dirt Niners game, but, Buccos utilityman, John Jaso, just absolutely picked his nose, looked at the booger, and flung it away on TV.

theeWeeBabySeamus

If he didn’t eat it, I’m less than interested.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Tomsula does not approve of this wastefulness.

WCS

“Lotta protein in dem boogers!”

Senor Weaselo

You can pick your utilitymen, and you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your utilityman’s nose!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

OK; my life is full of meaning and I make a difference.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
WCS
Senor Weaselo
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I AM THE NIGHT

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Speaking of sadness/bullshit, has anyone checked on makeitsnow since MS paint’s death was announced?

Brocky

theeWeeBabySeamus

Target Dog: I did NOT agree to this shit. I might lick my own ass, but even I’ve got standards.

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The coat, face paint, and boots are ok, but I draw the line at having something touch my ass that’s dumber than it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Brocky

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

/prays no one posts sexy Shaggy

Brocky
Brocky

now i see weaslo beat me too it

Senor Weaselo

This is more Shaggy in one day than we needed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

#Itme

comment image

Horatio Cornblower
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I hate John McCain more than any person alive, and I hope his cancer kills him in the most painfully slow and cruelest way possible. His entire life has been as a cancer on the world and we are all poorer for him living in it. It’s a shame that he survived four motherfucking plane crashes, five years in a POW camp, avoiding going to prison as one of the Keating Five, and has somehow survived everything else life threw at him in what can only be further evidence that he long ago made a deal with Satan because holy shit has he ever fed the forces of darkness so many thousands of bodies over the years as a cruelly corrupt warmongering piece of shit.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m not clear on whether you like McCain or not; could you be a little more specific?

Gratliff

Do you hate him more than any other living person hates him or do you hate him more than you hate any other living person?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Yes

theeWeeBabySeamus

Counterpoint:
comment image?w=570&h=425

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Another thing he did for Satan to extend his life and power.

King Hippo

and he’s dying because a certain somebody offered Satan a better deal!

Shogun Marcus

So other than that, what did you REALLY think of the play Mrs. Lincoln?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It would’ve been better if Booth acted in the play instead of just taking potshots from the balcony.

King Hippo

So…we’re gonna get you a therapy bear, to help you deal with your feelings toward Sen. McCain, mmm’kay??

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Can I fuck it?

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image?w=570&h=425

King Hippo

/scared to google “therapy bear with fully functional, vibrating anus”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Gimme a sec, I’ve still got the link here somewh….

I mean….what’s that?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It isn’t as good as I thought; a lot of “fan art.”

Senor Weaselo

“Sounds intriguing.” -Definitely not Aaron Rodgers

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Using this doll, show us where Sen. McCain stuck his finger in your butthole.

King Hippo

Soooooo, looks like DAL didn’t buy Lucky’s “Wadn’t me” defense…

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

“Bitches come, bitches go.”
Property is important, though.”
— Jerry Jones, Esq.

King Hippo

oh, that good

Senor Weaselo

But it worked so well for Shaggy!

Senor Weaselo

Also for all our Ukrainian friends.

Gratliff

No joke. Here comes a tangent. I did some hardcore research at Moose’s suggestion a few months back into my family’s history through Imperial, Reichskommissariat, and Soviet Ukraine during the first half of the 21st century. It was an evil, awful fucking time and region to survive through. Just supplying background to explain what a nightmare hellscape Ukraine was during the world wars takes up about 3k words. One day, I’ll get around to finishing it. Unfortunately, I’ve run into all sorts of dead ends tracking their movements prior to WW2, but did find some neat/terrifying inconsistencies in their immigration records thanks to ancestry.com. For example, I found the ship manifests from their trip to America where they all claimed to be Polish. What’s noteworthy is that my family HATED Poles with what may have been a genocidal passion, but they hid their Ukrainian heritage when leaving from a German port. Sooooooooo, lots of sideyeing my maybe/probably Nazi-sympathizing great-grandfather.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Hated poles? So strip joints were out of the question.

Senor Weaselo

THIS MAESTRO WHILE WATCHING THE REDBLACKS I CALL HIM A POTTED PLANT BECAUSE HE KEEPS THINKING “Oh no, not again.”

/Didn’t I use this one for something else?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I presume Dee Dee was already under the desk, waiting for her chance….
comment image?w=800

theeWeeBabySeamus

Also, “Shaq’s Huge Shoe” should be a commentist name.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It dropped.

King Hippo

Just Die in a Fire already

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m surprised Putin hasn’t stolen that Pats helmet.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I wonder why Trump isn’t holding the shoe.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wish I would not have seen this; I just puked dinner.

ballsofsteelandfury

Marc Trestman Watch!

– Chris Hansen

King Hippo

Hey, the redblacks (NO OFENCE!!) have tied it up. To the thrill of dozens, eh?

Senor Weaselo

I’m watching it! Don’t know why.

King Hippo

I am also questioning a lot of my life choices lately.

theeWeeBabySeamus

This is funnier when you realize that it’s not a parody…..
comment image

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Congrats on that lifelong goal of becoming a WAG, I guess.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Rode the stationary bike today for the first time in easily a month. Took a while to recover but can finally can see past the blood in my eyes.

litre_cola

Good work. Keep it up. You will feel great soon.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, what he said.
That stroke you just had was only a mild one.

King Hippo

if not, they are doing AMAZEBALLS things with oatmeals these days!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You’ve seen me in person. Soon is inaccurate, but I’m trying.

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

litre_cola

Why isnt flutie a coloUr guy?

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Flutie does have a Ricardo Montalbán-level tan … so he’s got that coloUr going for him, man.

litre_cola

Still rocking a sweet mullet as well.

The Maestro

Man, Doug Flutie is a fuckin’ beauty. There’s honestly no two ways about it.

Gratliff

Yay. John McCain’s coming back to hopefully bomb some foreign countries and probably uninsure millions because he really doesn’t give a fuck.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Wonder if everyone who said you couldn’t make fun of his health still feels that way knowing he’s coming back from his taxpayer funded surgery to take health care away from 20 million.

Gratliff

It’s funny, because the only people who didn’t jump me for making fun of his health back in 2012 were crazy far right conservative types, and now the only people who don’t jump me are far left hippy types. Unless he’s about to pull a massive face turn tomorrow, I’m going down screaming “FUCK JOHN MCCAIN”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I admire your consistency.

Gratliff

Unfortunately, the edgy comedy subculture of the mid-aughts mostly became alt-right edgelords. Some of us ended up halfway decent. It’s how we end up with things like Cumtown.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Those people can go fuck themselves.

litre_cola

CFL ESPN2. pickins must be slim

King Hippo

welcome to every non-World Cup July since the dawn of man

litre_cola

Welcomr to Bismarck everyday

theeWeeBabySeamus

something something AJ McCarron’s Wife? AJ MCCARRON’S MOM!!!!! something something
comment image

Duchess

Garapollo has now been traded to the Bengals for AJ and a 3rd round pick

litre_cola

Seriously?

Duchess

nope but grumble lord would after seeing a pic of his mother

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO

King Hippo

grumble, grumble the skinny one can watch, grumble grumble

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Thanks, boosters

Duchess

I now know I am getting old because last night during Game of Thrones I was just thinking… come on this cunnilingus scene is just gratuitous and serves no purpose.

Gratliff

Did they edit it down for on demand? When I watched it today, you only saw him going down for a second.

Duchess

it was longer on Sunday for sure

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Glad I streamed the Sunday version.

King Hippo

what point is there in a MAN inspecting carpet samples anyway?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fun?
Taste?
The satisfaction of a job well done?

I’m not sure I understand the question.

King Hippo

But FOAR the viewer?? meh

/and a lady gon’ get the job done much better

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh, well sure. As far as observationals, that be much more aesthetic.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Them boobs though … and dat ass WOOOOOO!!!11!!

King Hippo

Speaking of Demmycrats, that well-publicized bumper sticker fiasco could have been fixed very easily.

BLACK >>> orange

Redshirt

Possible reason why Democrats lost.

“What do we want?!”
(inarticulate gibberish of different responses)
“When do we want it?!”
“Now!!”

King Hippo

2018 and 2020 be simple:

“Fuck That Guy!”

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

It worked for them in 2006 and 2008, but they lost net seats in 2008 mainly because they ran on “Fuck Bush,” and then governed as “Bush is okay” like millions of people in the base weren’t demanding he and Cheney be impeached for years. Because fuck us, right?

King Hippo

/but u rite, that is the downfall of being a big tent/coalition party with very, very few things everyone can agree on (and people who are generally afraid of offending one another).

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Fuck it, dude.

King Hippo

Man, the Mets are to young pitching arms what The Juice is to ex-wives and Jewish waiters. Allegedly.

Duchess

“Hold my beer”
-Dusty Baker

Senor Weaselo

Imagine if Dusty managed the Mets? The entire rotation would be down by the All-Star break every year.

King Hippo

Zombies. Everywhere. I don’t know any Nats fans, but if I did, I imagine they would have Seppuku’d yesterday upon Dusty saying of Strasburg (after leaving the game in 2nd inning with arm stiffness) “I think he’s ok”

Duchess

was at the last game where Stras pitched and they gave up 13+ runs… is arm is shot

King Hippo

This one they won 6-2, but he walked 3 dudes in 2 innings. He was hurting in that last bad start and they pitched him again anyway? With like a 20-gajillion game division lead?

Hiring Dusty Baker as manager is like making an arsonist your night watchman.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I concur.
Dude’s a twit. This is an understatement.

litre_cola

Bismarck should not be on any persons bucket list. Having a local “sour” from Laughing Sun Brewery so there is that.
Tis true in sports stores there is UND, NDSU, Purple Bjorns, Pack and all the Wentz you can handle.

Senor Weaselo

“In your sour you will taste blood and iron!” -Otto von Bismarck

Shogun Marcus

Other than bombers being based there, no justification exists for North Dakota.

litre_cola

Only here on our way home but through yellowstone to get some picnic baskets!

Shogun Marcus

Did you do South Dakota then?

litre_cola

Decilitre got a bit antsy so we hung a right at Fargo. I did however get a private tasting today at Proof distillery, have enough info for a post after throwback week. So we dodnt go that far south. Tomorrow, Montana Brewing in Billings.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

And lots of ICBMs.