This whole week, I haven’t know what day it was. Two days ago, I got home from work and said to Lady BFC “man, it feels like a Thursday, and it’s only Tuesday.” Turns out :SPOILER ALERT: it WAS Thursday. Fuck. And it doesn’t help that we had a preseason NFL game that day but the next game is on a Wednesday. What the shit.
So now it’s, I want to say, Saturday? And there isn’t SHIT on the sporting calendar. I mean, there’s some soccer, if you’re into that sort of thing, and baseball, which I’ll leave to tWBS, and I think the WNBA, golf, and tennis are all on and equally riveting. But I’m sitting here watching some AFL replays and waiting for the time to be appropriate for me to go to a brewery without looking for a sponsor. Damn time zones.
Oh, and I guess I’m reading these stories about how Dreamboat doesn’t think it’s anyone’s business he got Aikman’d last year. Guess I’ll just leave this here:
SHOT: Terrell Davis on CTE: ‘We’re all scared’
CHASER: Rams hope Jared Goff less confused by defenses than where sun rises
Regardless, I said I would throw up an open thread, so consider this Saturday open thread throw’d up!
[…] good news for Jay (even if he DOOOON’T CAAAAARE), and bad news for the Bears. As our own Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli pointed out with the appropriate response, “Unlike the Seahawks and Marshawn Lynch, the Bears will not be able to get compensation if […]
Wow, there really is nothing on tonight other than baseball and MLS. And it is Saturday so no chance of good TV unless something just got released on Netflix.
Though that reminds me. Wet Hot American Summer fans, the new series is up on Netflix now. I absolutely love 95% of the cast, didn’t like the movie or first series. Throw whatever you want at me.
I can’t believe I ever forgot this.
/IMPROMPTU QUOTABLES CONTEST FLIES OPEN
I didn’t know Nnamdi had a stint as a Saint
I saw one comment, “Some say he’s still running to this day.”
Alright, it’s finally 5 o’clock!
/cracks open 3rd beer.
Yes. I waited til 5’clock too…
/ Day alone at the house again. They are rare.
Well, I didn’t actually wait till five, but merely acknowledge the passing of the hour.
I know, was making fun of myself. I just need to stay sober enough to drive the giant 5 mile loop to my moms later, or stumble the actual like less than a mile on foot to take care of her dog tonight.
This needs something.
Nooooooooooooooooo…
http://deadspin.com/jaywatch-now-it-sounds-like-jay-cutler-will-not-be-joi-1797566279
But you promised me earlier he was going!!! I was gonna root for the Dolphins and everything
I mean, it enhances his DGAF brand which is good, but I need my schadenfreude, goddamn it!
Goddammit
KAP! KAP! KAP!
STOMP!
I’m bored so I will tell a story about yesterday. I have mentioned my city decided to tear up all the roads in my neighborhood and we have one outlet. Was stuck behind a guy going 10 mph who at three intersections first ignored stop sign rules and let everyone else go first, EVERYONE else. The second he had a yield and stopped so the guy who wanted to turn left coming the other way went first. The third there was no sign but he just stopped. I got annoyed at this point and honked at him. He gets out of his car and starts yelling at me running towards my car in an angry fashion.
“I AM JUST LOOKING TO SEE IF A CAR IS COMIN…”
I just gave him an angry look and the second he saw me he ran back into his car and drove off at 40 mph. It was pretty awesome. I didn’t even have a chance to open my window to yell back at him.
Sissy. You should see how my uncle from Durban handles those snowflakes.
Semi-related: This is why I prefer traffic circles to four-way stops. You don’t have any of this turn-based shit. Just drive into the circle when it’s clear and keep going right until you’re out.
They are in the process of converting our commercial roads to this, but the road mentioned is residential and not meant to be a main road, it is just the only way out now.
It is sad how stupid and bad most people are that they can’t comprehend the idea of traffic circles.
Wow! Gatlin beats Bolt!
Coleman wins silver btw
SPOILER!
17 minutes till the 100 meter men’s.
It seems no one else is reporting Cutler being signed so perhaps I got a little too excited too soon.
Burundi is a country? What’s next? Gabardine? Corduroy?
Lesotho? Togo? Benin? Gabon?
If you could speak English on this site, that would be great.
/wake me up before you Togo
No joke, in college we went to the taco bell drivethru and the dude’s name tag at the window said “Togo”. We laughed so hard we couldn’t talk.
That reminds me of Patrice O’Neal going off an an audience member named Tolu.
https://soundcloud.com/user-584179645/patrice-oneal-tolu
Some tasty coffee comes from Burundi.
Looks like Bolt is up in about an hour.
Is that what LCSS tells his dates at dinner?
You can’t say that he doesn’t respect his Viagra.
Do people actually stock booze in their home offices? I’m setting mine up and, while I like booze fine, I don’t see why it’s so tough to just head to my liquor cabinet when I need a drink.
I actually place booze within arm’s reach of every point in my house, just to be safe.
I love watching shorter long distance races like the 10,000 meters-it’s fascinating seeing the better runners separate themselves from those that are less talented or haven’t put in the work. It’s the sporty equivalent of watching cream rise to the top.
Linval Joseph got PAID! We’re spending a goddamn fortune but we are locking down the defense. Griffin, Rhodes and Smith are inked for years and word is Anthony Barr is next.
I foresee several more years of 13-10 games.
Giants did the very same thing last year and it paid off big time. A win is a win.
/love watching a quality D do its thing, no matter the team
Same here. I became a Vikings fan because of the Purple People Eaters and I still consider a sack my favorite play.
These boys can hit too.
You can thank Tom Coughlin for Linval moving over to the Vikes. He has a long history on not giving youngsters a chance to prove themselves.
Just logged into Facebook and saw it was a friend’s birthday. So i typed in happy birthday. Right before I pressed entered, I noticed I wrote ‘Jappy Birthday’.
At this point, I begin to chuckle because Bill Parcels would approve of this and this friend is a P*ts friend. But then I realized he has been a P*ts fan since they entered the league in 2001 and the joke would be lost on him. Also, I just remembered his wife is Japanese, so that would get a little awkward. Shit, now I can’t stop laughing about all the layers of a simple typo.
I need more sleep
The cool thing about watching track and field is that you can watch the long jump, the discus and the women’s 10,000 meters all at the same time and not miss anything that’s relevant.
I was in a bind, so I remembered a new place I could try. I walked in and saw a gorgeous Arabic woman to greet me. One thing lead to another, and now I’m about to enter the man cave. I’ve never enetered a man cave before, but it’s pride week, so what the hell. I’ll report back after I’m finished….
This comment has many amazing layers. I wanna hear more.
And that’s why wakezilla had to move to Calgary
Oh its pride here too but nothing compares to Vancouvers. It is epic. Sydney Aus maybe.
Van pride is fucking unreal – Rob Ryan
“Wakezilla In The Bardo” is available now in quality bookstores everywhere.
If you’ve got access to the IAAF champeenships, Usain Bolt is running sometime today.
Does everyone know the Bolt/Hitler joke? No need to repeat it, right?
REPEAT IT
AHHHHHHHHHHH!! IT’S HAPPENING. *RON PAUL WAVING GIF*
https://www.yahoo.com/amphtml/sports/former-bears-quarterback-jay-cutler-220009623.html
“Cat Rides Dolphin to Spite Bears”
*screaming internally*
If it makes you feel any better, Miami’s o-line is so bad, there’s a chance he may not even make it out of preseason
That’s actually disappointing to me. The only thing I’m rooting for this year is Cutler somehow humiliating this flaming turd bag of a Bears organization.
The Bears are really living up to the picture WYTS paints of them being a bunch of slap-dick idiots.
DOOOOONNNNTTTTT CAAAARRRREEEEE
Best shooter I’ve seen at the college level? Back then he was known as Chris Jackson
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bth0El023Ko
No love for Charles Whitman?
“He was a rank amateur. You’ve got to really want it. Put in the time, do your homework and make those dreams come true.”
-Seung-Hui Cho
/this shower ain’t nearly long enough
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpAMMTHRJbI
It better be Saturday because I sure as fuck ain’t going to work.
I think I will call today “Beer Appreciation Day!”
I should get beer. Or go hang out at one of the local bars while the Thorns are playing. Or just get off my ass.
Nah. Fuck that.
Do eeeeeet
I was laughing so hard in my sleep I woke myself up. So I have that going for me.
I’ve never done that but I’ve checked the box on ‘farted so loudly I woke myself up’. So I’ve got that going for me.
It sucks that I was apparently doing it enough or for so long my mouth was dry.
The dream that made you laugh-was it a montage of me trying to pick up women in bars in my youth?
No. It was a screwball 80s comedy.
Nice. That about sums it up.
[single tear runs down cheek]
which is nice
“The Colony” or “About Time”-so many choices!
I bet you are greatly enjoying the GWS replay…
The first few minutes were scary and then it got awesome.
Also what I would have said about losing my virginity if it had lasted more than a few minutes
Also relevant
https://youtube.com/watch?v=X1OKuLHp4FE&
A: This morning when I saw tweets started popping up to bitch about how MIA signed Cutler our of retirement before giving Kaep a go.
Q: When did you find out Ryan Tannehill’s knee injury?
IS ANYONE “CONSOLING” POOR MRS TANNEHILL?!?
Greg Hardy has a futon she would be interested in
WHY ISN’T SHE USING THOSE CUTTING BOARDS!?!