Your “It’s A Sunny Sunday-Let’s Watch Some Pre-season Football” Open Thread

You don’t have to watch this silly little game. You can do anything you please of course. This is just a spot where you can type whatever the hell is on your mind as you wander by. Me? I just finished “The Thirst” by Jo Nesbo and am looking for “ideers”. I usually try to alternate fiction with non-fiction due to the fact that I ignored the latter for the first 35 or so years of my life. Yeah, I’ve got some catching up to do but I’m getting there. But what about you? Did you load the dishwasher? Did you get some laundry done? Have you cracked open a delicious beer? Let me know below. Now… TO THE GAME!

Lion/Colts: Woo boy. Where to start. Indy’s O-line needs to up their game quite a bit but I don’t see much of that happening so Luck is going to continue to stare into the rafters of his and any other domed stadia while in the prone position. Rods and beams, oh my. Is the Colts D still a sieve? Or has it progressed to colander status? The ghost of Calvin Johnson’s career can’t be bothered. That’s how bad the Lions are. Could they beat their namesake up in British Columbia? Probably, but that’s not saying much.*

Well, that’s it. Enjoy whatever the hell you’re doing but do drop in to say hello.

 

*[readies self for onslaught of CFL defenders]

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
223 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Redshirt

RE: Suffering characters

♫ If it takes forever… ♫
comment image

Shogun Marcus

You HAD to go there. Never watched it, likely never will. I think you’re lucky some certain folk aren’t around at the moment! ?

Redshirt

First Rule of Euchre, play your Right Bower after all other good cards have been played.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Kind of a meta post, but I have to say that coming back to the site after 6 months, it seems to run a lot more smoothly now. Kudos to the tech guys behind that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Absolutely!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

You have a lot of HRTN to catch up on!

/plug

Unsurprised

Someone needs to build a Hard Wiki to Nowhere.

blaxabbath

I did all that good work.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Did you remember to bring two friends?

Unsurprised

And they bring two friends, and so on.

Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

the Alpha and the Amoeba

This is from one of the Police Squad Sequels right? Which one?

Redshirt

33 1/3, I think. The worst one, but it had a few moments.

Redshirt

Okay, so I watched the first episode of DuckTales 2017. The voice acting is good, it was well written, and it was well respectful to the source material.

If you get a chance and was a kid watching DuckTales 1987, its worth checking out.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

My first reaction: What, new ducktales?!??!?!?!
My second reaction: 1987? That series is way older than I thought, I guess I was just watching reruns when I was a kid.

Redshirt

He isn’t a cockstain. He’s a dingleberry on the ass of humanity.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That is insulting to cockstains everywhere.

Unsurprised

Fuck everything. This is the world we made by doing nothing.

Beastmode Ate My Baby

“Enjoy whatever the hell you’re doing but do drop in to say hello.”

You’re not the boss of me! I’ll do whatever I want!

Er…

comment image

laserguru

Scotchy, if your looking for non fiction try Catch a Fire the biography of Bob Marley.

Excellent read and good insight into the music industry and the reggae movement.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Civ 5 is the gift that keeps on giving. I never would have guessed that knowing about the Hagia Sophia would ever allow me to guess the meaning of a word

Don T

TV characters who’ve suffered the most:

2. Theon / Reek
1. Jesse from Breaking Bad

laserguru

Nora on the Leftovers.

King Hippo

I’ll raise it to Kevin on The Leftovers, because he didn’t suppress his pain. TWO DECADES of searching…

laserguru

You make an astute point but Nora lost her whole damn family!
She totally redeemed herself with the nude scenes however.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The right nudity; is there anything it can’t do?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Dealin’ Doug the car dealer.

Wakezilla

I think her name was Tara, from True Blood. (She was the uh, really athletic one)

Brick Meathook

Mannix

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

WTF? #teammannix

Brick Meathook

Sure he solved the case but he got pistol-whipped every single week.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes, he got the holy shit beat out of him. The PI version of Craig Morton when he was a Bronco

laserguru

Vito Spatafore on the Sopranos.

I’ll never look at a pool stick the same way again.

laserguru

I got it!

Beecher from Oz!

Redshirt

The Mother from “How I Met Your Mother”
Hawkeye from MASH
Donna from Doctor Who (though she doesn’t remember it so its not suffering)

Shogun Marcus

Donna…ouch dude.

Redshirt

“You never forget your first Doctor. Unless you’re Donna. Poor, poor Donna.”

laserguru

Confession. I love my Kitchenaid stand mixer more than is probably normal.
You’ll see why next week!

Sharkbait

Re watching You’re the Worst. Why hello again Aya Cash

Wakezilla

I don’t know anyone who watches this show, but, it’s so good.

Spanky Datass

I don’t know where or when it’s on exactly but when I accidentally land on it I really enjoy watching.

JustStopDude

I love these NFL commericals…

“See every Preseason game…except for local blackouts…with the package!”

So wait…you expect me to pay EXTRA to watch scrimmage games? I think I will just keep streaming them through foreign websites that have adds for porno and gambling.

Sharkbait

At least those ads are relevant.

King Hippo

Booky books – Octavia Butler’s “Parable of the Sower” and “Parable of the Talents.” Riveting stuff.

JustStopDude

Follow up question to my original NFL one. Reverse the scenario…which team has had the most head scratching success with an utterly useless scrub at QB?

My quick nominations –

Ravens with Dilfer (every time I think about him being a Superbowl winning QB), I get a blinding headache and blood comes out of my ears)

NYG – TWO with the Manning that looks and acts like his mother fixed microwaves throughout the pregnancy

JSD patented “Super controversial comment of the day” Patriots with Tom Brady, just because it isn’t just all him going 5 and 7 in Superbowls. Its unreal, especially in the modern era with salary cap to consistently not only win with one guy, but to keep him that healthy for that long. Fuck I hate the Pats but dear god, like Alabama, if you are going to win at all costs, you still have to win.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Last Broncos and Ravens are similar; you know exactly why and how they won, but the QB was just along for the ride and ring.

JustStopDude

The Flacco “Elite” thing is funny but he is clearly the best QB in their history and its a straight drop in talent if he goes down. He isn’t a top five QB in the league, but he is in the top 10. So him winning it all isn’t so glaring.

Fucking Dilfer couldn’t even win the starting job and there was a five game series where the Ravens did not score a single offensive touchdown. They won three out of the five of those games just because at the time, the defense was unreal (and the league subsequently change some rules to do that away).

Dilfer is the only Superbowl winning QB that was not resigned after the season and it was a good football move.

The only thing more staggering about how bad he was is that he is still bitter about the fact the Ravens did not resign him.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

There were three more TDs in that game when he missed some wide open receivers, but hey.

JustStopDude

I have no idea how Giants fans are violent drunks. Lil’ Manning can look like utter garbage. Totally confused by coverage and get destroyed by like the Jags…but in the biggest game in their history, he can pull it out like an idiot savant.

I have a theory that the Pats were not ready for an offense lead by a guy who never learned the plays. Like they stole the playbooks, not realizing that the actual playbook was the kids menu from Denny’s that they let lil’ Manning draw all over with crayons.

Wakezilla

I dunno, after the second superb owl win, it felt like the Giants went years without addressing their O-line and Eli had like half a second to release the ball before facing imminent death.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

JustStopDude

Fuck you announcing guy…Unitas never stepped foot in that shithole city.

They should even be called the Colts because there is no history of horses in Indy except for killing them and serving them up in a fat fry.

King Hippo

The Humps are gonna be a giant tub of ass this season, huh?

Unsurprised

Lucas Oil Stadium can double as a rendering vat.

King Hippo

That stadium nickname just might get worked into Hippo Thoughts this season…

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

I need to cheer myself up. Brought my college drinking buddy into my auction league 5 years ago (he actually LIVES in Northern VA, so it made easy sense for him). Just found out via the final cut-off e-mail from the commish that we are dropping from 12 to 10 teams (blech) that he dropped out, without even giving me the heads up.

The other guy who quit was the Dolfan co-commissioner who I had a decent imaginary friendship with, as well. Sad day.

AND I have to figure out how to re-jigger the auction values in my head for a 10-team league strategery. Fuck everything in this shitty, race war-bound world.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised

Maybe he left them for the people actually doing future renovations.

Don T

“I’m gonna go get, um… A scredriver–another one! That I left at, ah…
/footsteps
//truck door slams
///ignition + tires screeching

JustStopDude

When I used to do reno jobs in Baltimore, holy shit did we find guns and drug stashes all the fucking time.

The fucking guns always made me nervous because it would be like some old ass shotgun, that someone precariously hid in a drop ceiling in the basement.

I fucking hated dealing with drop ceilings because you never had any idea what was going to fall onto your head…dead animals, used needles…a loaded fucking cannon.

Wakezilla

Not to blame the victim here, but, dude, it’s Baltimore.

Redshirt

That’s part of the reason why my mother was so adamant to get to grandma’s house after she passed away; she knew she had valuable stuff and she was afraid her sister would take it to a pawn shop.

Sharkbait

It sucks that some families have to protect valuables like that. Mine included.

Unsurprised

It probably says more about me how shocking it is how people turn into animals over a dead person’s estate. But then again my brother and I literally couldn’t give away all of our mother’s things when she passed, so I know I’m the weirdo.

Don T

My father hid a stash of credit card collection notices.

theeWeeBabySeamus

My dead ex wife pulled that shit once or SEVERAL DOZEN TIMES herself.
Yay for years spent repairing one’s credit rating.

Wakezilla

Weddings and Funerals bring out the absolute worst in people. My MIL is having some serious health issues and at least one of my BILs is starting to swoop in. From previous conversations I have had with other BILs, I know it’s going to be Game of Thrones when this all-but-broke woman dies. A woman that I give money to on a monthly basis so she doesn’t need to move in with us or them. Fucked up, right?

Unsurprised

If you want anything from her, take it now. Let them fight over the scraps.

Unsurprised

I’m debating between getting up and walking down the hill for free food and booze vs. sleep

Redshirt

Don’t do it! You have to walk up the hill drunk and with a full belly.

Unsurprised

Plus it’s with strangers from the neighborhood association.

But I’m trying to be more social with my neighbors. And also booze and food.

Wakezilla

Everything tastes better free. Also, you never know who you’re going to meet. Worse case scenario, you’ve gotten a free meal and booze out of it. You’ve got nothing to lose.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Sharkbait

ಠ_ಠ

Mainly because I dont get THAT kind of tennis. Just the stupid professionals.

JustStopDude

Here is a game related head scratcher. Which team has wasted more talent at the QB position?

Miami – Marino has to be number 1.
Cincinnati – Palmer/Dalton (I refuse to believe a Mike Brown owned team will ever win a playoff game)
Indy – Pey-pey and Sloggoth (I think only one Superbowl with the talented Manning should by default be equal to negative 2 Superbowl wins with a decent QB).

Redshirt

Cincinnati: You can even add Esiason and Anderson to the list. The fact that they only made one Super Bowl each with the talent they had is mind boggling.

JustStopDude

Oh yeah I missed that…I mean I just made that post of the top of my head and didn’t even look deep.

Its amazing to me, some teams go decades without finding a decent QB…some seem to always have serviceable QB’s….and some always have a good QB. After Esiason, the Bengals hit a dry spell, but dear god, Cleveland as a city would sacrifice the first born children of all the residents to have the same level of play from their QB’s that Cincinnati has had over the years.

Redshirt

Tell me about it. After Klingler/Schreador/Hollas/Blake/O’Donnell/Justin/Smith/Mitchell/Frerotte, when Kitna showed up and got the team to barely average, Bengals fans were ready to canonize him.

Jon Kitna!

Redshirt

1. Agreed. That’s why many Bengal fans get into a twist because he’s not in the Hall of Fame. His numbers match up with people already in there when he played but because he didn’t win a Super Bowl, he’s passed over.
2. Its not a Pedo Stache. Its was the 70s, so its a Porn Stache.

King Hippo

My little brother grew up as randomly a Bungles fan, so I watched lots of their games with him. I can attest that Anderson was indeed really, really good.

King Hippo

See, you could even pass FOAR a Southern fella, spirit animal.

blackroseMD1

Chargers?

Rivers, Brees, Flutie, Fouts, Hadl…zero Super Bowl victories.

Unsurprised

For a second I almost felt bad for them, but then I remembered they’re the Chargers.

Obligatory FUCK THE SPANOS FAMILY

Redshirt

Yes. The Freezer Bowl in Hoth a week after the Epic in Miami was retroactive punishment from God for moving the team to L.A.

blackroseMD1

Yeah, Deano and the rest of that shit family can go take a flying leap onto red hot pokers.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ryan Leaf wasted himself.
Does that count?

King Hippo

The Chargers fo’ sho. Fouts and Rivers combined, only making ONE AFC title game?

Wakezilla

I’m convinced that the football Gods are punishing Miami for how much they fucked up while having Marino. Even in the age of “Qbs who never win a Superb owl are trash” Marino still is in most people’s top 5 for all-time great Qbs.

For franchises as a whole, it’s gotta be the Chargers. But at least in the Brees/Rivers era, they had Tomlinson

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Redshirt

So how is everything? Is Charlottesville still burning? Is Trump and Kim still gonna whip out their nuclear warheads and see who’s bigger? Is LeVeon Bell still unsigned?

http://www.reactiongifs.us/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/raining_david_tennant.gif

Sharkbait

We’re all fucked. But theres whisk(e)y, so we’ve got that

JustStopDude

I got my hand trapped in a pickle jar for about 3 hours.

But then I fell asleep and my hand got out of the jar on its own.

I still want a pickle though….

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Try turning your hand upside-down…. worked for me last time.

Redshirt

Let go of the pickle.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I believe, anyway.

Senor Weaselo

Wait, you’re Tom Hanks?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

/suspects JSD woke up with his hand on his pickle
//just playing the odds

Unsurprised

comment image

A choco taco a day keeps the doctor away. Right?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

As long as you’re not eating one in a bathroom stall…

theeWeeBabySeamus

But that’s just “frowned upon”….right?

Unsurprised

The frowning of a lifetime.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

JustStopDude

Lucas Oil Field sounds like a closed down race track in North Carolina.

Unsurprised

They’re using it for events at Gen Con next week, which is funny to me to think of thousands of gamer nerds actually entering an NFL stadium for once in their lives.

JustStopDude

Here is a brain teaser…which group is worse to be around…the average NFL fan at a football game…or the average nerd at a Con?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Being an NFL fan I’d have to say NFL fan by a long ways.

Unsurprised

NFL fans.

The nerds are generally good-natured, keep to themselves when drinking, and oddly enough as a group tend to be far better looking.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Senor Weaselo

The Jets social media page is really raving about how last night went. In fairness it’ll be the highlight of the season.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Sharkbait

She almost saved it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The J-E-T-S won’t…….

Sharkbait
Unsurprised

Great. I go to bed at 6 something only to be awakened just now by something exploding outside my window (I assume it was a transformer).

Fine. Fuck you, God. I’m up. I’m going to see about going to the Timbers game in two hours.

Unsurprised

That’s why he retired

Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

lowland streaked tenrec.

Looks like a rat found and drank some BOLTMAN blood.

Unsurprised

“Only 112 feet tall? Pussies.”
— Brian Kelly

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Wakezilla

“Could they beat their namesake up in British Columbia? Probably, but that’s not saying much.”

Of course they could! The NFL is the best league in the world. With that said, there are players on the Liouns that are better than some of the lower ranking players on the Lions.

Unsurprised

GOU LIOUNS

Sharkbait

You’d think for being at work where we do television my options for tv viewing would be better than:

Tennis (see below)
PGA Championship
Seabiscuit the Movie
Track and field
Informercials
Lesser footy highlights

Yet here we are. I’d kill for preseason footbaw right now

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Is it the porn version of Seabiscuit?

Unsurprised

Probably.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Wakezilla

comment image

Wakezilla

Fuck, I hate imgur so much. lol

comment image

JustStopDude

comment image

Wakezilla

3rd full day of Mrs. Wakezilla and Baby Wakezillaette being away. Primal Wakezilla is almost completely satiated with his large abundance of beer drinking and horrendous fried food habit of the weekend. His liver is already in midseason form. Starting to get the urge to have a salad, go to the gym and clean the place.

How we doing today, boys?

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We are hungover. We blame Low Commander.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Sounds like you had a good time.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Notice I didn’t say it was Low Commander’s FAULT. Great having you. Wish my body could cash these checks my stupid brain keeps writing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Easy on Boltman there, pal.

A man, BOLT or otherwise, has gotta drink. Whether it’s beer or the blood of heretics remains to be seen.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Did I SPARK controversy?

I’d be LIGHTNIN’ if I said yes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This comment grounded me.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Oh I’ll be there soon enough. Which is far too soon.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised

OH FUCK I NEED THAT GIMME GIMME GIMME

Sharkbait

Fuck tennis. Fuck tennis so hard.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Wakezilla

Indeed

comment image

JustStopDude

Woke up to my bird making a hellacious noise…because fuck letting me take a nap on a Sunday.

Seriously…never get a fucking parrot. Its like having an autistic 4 year old with a can opener for a face, and it never fucking dies.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m MOCKING your comment……..

Wakezilla

Way to make things Hawkward!

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m going to……. TWEET this.

Wakezilla

You quack me up

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[derails conversation by posting a picture of boobies]

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

No nipples tho.
😉

Unsurprised

Lost in a bottlenose porpoise incident

JustStopDude

I don’t get it…

I don’t get it…

I don’t get it…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Good to see you, JSD. Sincerely.
My apologies for my harshness last night (thought not for the point I was making).

Now go choke that chicken. 😛

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Contrary to popular opinion, sometimes I do know when to STFU.
(weiner in a pussy)
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just the tip tho.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

How many times have we heard this exact same thing about somebody who is never heard from again? I still hope these guys improve.

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes, I’ve got about five Broncos that just after the first fucking game I’m all “Oh an’ he’s goona make dis team a lot better, yo.”

I’ll be reading their names on cut day.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As opposed to camp reports on Cutler’s progress with the Dolphins, which have him tearing up the furniture.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

On the booky book front, I always recommend Destiny of a Republic as a different kind of political biography. Recently finished All Franken’s book and highly recommend it as well. On the fiction front, I recommend Straight Man by Richard Russo to everyone that bothers to ask.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Interesting. “Straight Man” is also the title of the autobiography that Aaron Rodgers is currently working on.

Sharkbait

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sheila From Accounting….LMFAO.

Unsurprised

It does have that “I want to speak with your manager” cut.

Unsurprised

Pugs and bulldogs are abominations of nature and an insult to God

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Bringing forward a question I wrote on Sunday gravy:

Worth a 3rd rounder to keep HODOR? I’m leaning no.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not sure the context. But Luck is easily top ten QB, of which in this leeege you don’t give up. I’d put the Dolts situation in that they don’t seem to be able to get him tools or a defense.

Never mind; you are talking FF. Disregard.

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

One of teh interwebs said he prolly won’t start until the fourth game….. tuthers say first game.

Wakezilla

Who could you get if you drop him?