Your “The Lesson Learned Is ‘Not To Care'” Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

Well, I believe I speak for the majority when I say, those were some real Week-1 preseason games.

Oh, and fuck Dean Spanos with a rusty shiv. μαλάκας!

NFL Notes:

  • The Lord giveth, and BLEERGH taketh away:
    • A week after signing a new five-year deal, Devonta Freeman is in concussion protocol.
      • He’ll sit out 1-2 weeks of preseason, just to be safe.
  • Andrew Luck may or may not be ready by Opening Day, based on when Jim Irsay is asked and whether the drugs have taken effect.
    • If all else fails, there’s Scott Tolzien.

  

What the Colts hope for, versus what they are probably getting.

  • You know the Jets are fucked when the headline coming from their preseason game is that Christian Hackenberg “inspires hope“.
    • Josh McCown concurs:
      • “I was so proud of Hack tonight because you have little hiccups here and there that happen, that weren’t necessarily his fault…he kept battling and played within the game.”
        • PLAN THE PARADE!
  • Tavon Austin will miss another week. I don’t think the Rams will recover.
  • Yay! Both the race card and his dad are about to enter the Ezekiel Elliott suspension drama.
  • The Bears picked up waived Bucs kicker Roberto Aguayo Sunday.
    • He’s competing with Connor Barth, whom the Bucs dropped last year when they drafted Aguayo in the second round of the 2016 draft, for the starting job.
    • A delightful coda to all this disappointment is that it will end up part of “Hard Knocks”, so it’ll live forever as a testament to Bucs’ GM Jason Licht’s ability to measure talent & get fleeced at the draft.
      • Aguayo’s kids will get to see their dad talked about in the most glowing terms by his former boss:
        • “We’ve ripped off the band-aid … and we’re moving forward.”

Finally, the 49ers have hired the second full-time female coach in NFL history. Katie Sowers has joined the team in a currently undeclared position.

  • Expect the message boards at PFT & Yahoo! to be full of supportive comments and congratulations.
  • She previously worked for the Falcons as an assistant receivers coach, and was also a scouting intern under Kyle Shanahan, her new boss.
    • “Sowers’ Kansas City-ties to Falcons assistant general manager Scott Pioli led her to [the Falcons] opportunity.”
  • Sowers played professional football, functioned as an adviser for USA Football, and was general manager of the Kansas City Titans of the Women’s Football Alliance. She had also been the senior recreation director and athletics director for the Kansas City Department of Parks and Recreation.

Tonight’s sports:

  • Beisbol:
    • Rays at Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Mets at Yankees – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Orioles at Mariners – 10:00PM | Sportsnet1
  • Lucha:
    • WWE: Monday Night RAW – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • the “go-home” show before SummerSlam this weekend.

Remember, Week-2 of preseason season kicks off Wednesday with the Bills at the Eagles. I can’t wait for the tailgating.

  

  

E-C-W! E-C-W!! E-C-W!!!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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WCS
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Cannibal Holocaust?

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

The Purple Smoke People Cagers (1979)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0102015/

Have you seen this? It is fucking great if you are into the movie tribulations.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

I own it. Best “making of” documentary ever; in fact, it’s a great film on its own, although seeing Apocalypse Now does enrich the experience. It also shows why Redux never should’ve been made.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They had to do something with that footage; make some money. Top ten movies and short stories for me easily. He also just released a book about The Godfather.

Horatio Cornblower
Member

Jennifer Esposito was mentioned earlier so…

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WCS
Member

Wakezilla
Member

I know it’s a little too big and fake for most of you, but, good lawd

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We are here to support your enjoyment of big butts; somebody doesn’t like it; FUCK THEM IN THEIR PIMPLY ASS WITH A CHAINSAW.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

Fake butts are a thing?

Wakezilla
Member

Yup! Butt implants are becoming more common

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Implant teh cock moar liek eet.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

I’m just waiting for the telescoping penis enhancements.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

It’s like someone put a thong on a neck pillow.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

See, this is why we all miss you. That’s some funny shit right there.

Hope you’re doing well, my friend.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

They cut through the floor of an apartment building to get this famous shot from a very well known movie. Can you name it? (no cheating)
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Martin Scorsese says he never got the damage deposit back.

WCS
Member

Taxi Driver

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

You are correct.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No, I think he actually needs a taxi.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

The original or the porn parody?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Member
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“You fuckin’ on me? YOU fuckin on ME?”

Wakezilla
Member

Iris: Didn’t you ever hear of a women’s clit?

Travis Pickle: Don’t be a whore, you’re only 18 years old, Go home!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Member
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Someday a real maid will come and wash all this cum off the sheets.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

Yes

Wakezilla
Member

Re SB Nation: Part of the reason why I don’t write for a living is that all those sites typically don’t pay well and don’t pay on time. Usually they’ll try and weasle out of the pay check by saying the exposure is more than enough, as if that potential is going to pay for groceries and bills.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Member
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I have no intention of going into journalism, but I have written for an SBNation site somewhat frequently. I always knew it was for free, mostly did it for shits and giggles and to get more info on the particular element of the team I liked, but I cut the cord recently because it just wasn’t worth devoting the time to it anymore.

blaxabbath
Member

We all write for stock! You heard of stock; like google or Amazon? Yeah, well its LIKE that!

blaxabbath
Member

What’s a typical pay for such a piece?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

How much are you getting for the dolphins preview?

Wakezilla
Member

Free therapy

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Member
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Monday Morning Punter’s old apartment

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Member
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I loved mid-2000s Comedy Central

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
blaxabbath
Member

Sill Bimmons was at the march in Charlottesville on Friday night.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Which side?

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣

herodotus450
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herodotus450

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Member
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Buddy has to admit, he is a white supremacist — I just can’t stand rye bread!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Member
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

In light of all of the events that went down in Charlottesville, I just want to say that Tiki torches are for hedge-fund managers and closeted golfers. Thank you.

Brocky
Member

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

thank you for that. fucking awesome.

herodotus450
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herodotus450
Brocky
Member

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WCS
Member

Jennifer Esposito

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Why on earth would any refrigerator be designed to NOT swing all the way shut all the time?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Fuck it. I’m going for a walk.

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Horatio Cornblower
Member

I’ll follow you.

LemonJello
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LemonJello

Obligatory: “Hate to see her leave, but love to watch her go.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

In a slip?

WCS
Member
WCS
Member

dang

Brick Meathook
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Brick Meathook

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BrettFavresColonoscopy
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Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello
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LemonJello

Dat ass?

Spanky Datass
Member
Spanky Datass

Wut?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Dat ass?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wut?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Dat ass?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wut?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Dat ass?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

BOMP EE-DOO BOMP DEE.

Brocky
Member

Lol, chicago wizard world comic con just advertised Michael rooker as from guardians of the galaxy, then the next frame presents Lennie James from the walking dead

is that some shade or just unintentional comedy

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I have no idea what you are talking about so I’m going with unintentional comedy.

Brocky
Member

While Michael Rooker had a pretty extensive film and television career as an actor, his role on walking dead brought him a lot of mainstream exposure, which lead to a role in the highly recognizable guardians of the galaxy, in the mean time, walking dead has waned in its popularity,

so for rooker being advertised for guardians, but not walking dead, comes across as an intentional disassociation, as his former cast mate lennie james has no other choice

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Thank you; I may not remember this but for right now you have provided teh insight.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

I present to you *extreme Borat voice* my wife.

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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Sapiosexual *alone* makes her insufferable.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sapiophile and libertarian are opposite in context.

Horatio Cornblower
Member

I had to look that up and now I hate her, you and myself, in no particular order.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Correct.

My punishment is either 50 lashes or 50 pages of a John Galt speech Atlas Shrugged.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Meh, just means she can read while you are ripping her ass up.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

She had me at bourbon

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

I’d bet her taste in bourbon is shit.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Eh, I had to be nice on the .0001% chance she was actually your wife.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

I can’t imagine drinking enough bourbon to allow that to happen.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

She clearly has no sense or taste for anything good or decent.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

But she’s the type who will be offended if you aren’t impressed.

Regardless, Rand is a perfect hero for these twats because they’re all latent fascists like she was.

Jerry Was A Shogun Named Marcus
Member

blatant fascists like she was.
Fixed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Old Spice, you’ve done it again!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower
Member

Someone help me out here; this glass of tequila, good idea or worst idea?

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

Great idea; I’ll join you

Senor Weaselo
Member

Depends on whether it’s celebratory or commiseratory. I’d say hold on a second.

Okay, it’s celebratory.

Horatio Cornblower
Member

I just realized I had some good tequila and don’t have to be in Court tomorrow until 2 pm.

Working from home rules.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt
Member

Redshirt’s Unwanted Voyager Update – Stolen from SF Debris review of Unimatrix Zero

Janeway: “Yes, sir! This is definitely the best plan I’ve everrrr— (Janeway gets Borg implant drilled into her head) ♫—ry day, it’s a getting closer, coming faster than a roller coaster… ♫”

Senor Weaselo
Member

Thanks for reminding me of the only “Wait, that wasn’t Deus ex machina’d up the ass and the most plauible on” death in the whole Final Destination series! (The one in the tanning salon)

(Edit: Wait, wrong roller coaster song)

WCS
Member

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Member
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show
Senor Weaselo
Member

Internet war!

Spanky Datass
Member
Spanky Datass

The Dirt Cowboys playing station-to-station ball? Where am I?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Like much so-called Southern heritage, most of it didn’t start showing up until the people from the Civil War era was either old, dead, or long dead.

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Wakezilla
Member

What exactly am I looking at? What does this chart mean, exactly?

Wakezilla
Member

Other “traditions” that people hold dear:

The national anthem at games. A sacred tradition that didn’t get played on a regular basis at pro sports games until the late 60’s.

In God we trust on money, also a Cold War concoction

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Gee, I wonder what changed.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

I consider myself more informed of history than the average person and I still discover stuff I was mistaken about all the time. So much of the history I learned was outright deceptive.

Gratliff
Member

Sir, what part of “American exceptionalism” do you not understand?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

The exceptional part.

Redshirt
Member

Agreed. I’m all for heritage, but you have to at least have lived back then to know what your heritaging.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Related: the Confederate battle flag didn’t start appearing widely until the late 1940’s which times up with the second peak in the start and the beginning of the Civil Rights movement.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Hmm.

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WCS
Member

Jim Ross announces the Confederate statue’s removal:

https://twitter.com/bubbaprog/status/897254799841906688

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Replying to @xmasape @Mobute
Congrats to Durham on the new Joe Theismann monument.

Ouch.

This Is The Wudder‏ @FanSince09 57m57 minutes ago
How Millennials are killing participation trophies.

James Harrison is … proud?

WCS
Member

James Harrison only has two emotions: anger, and 28 Days Later rage.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Roger Goodell is considering a fine on James Harrison for that hit on a defenseless statue.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Okay…the people walking up and kicking a metal statue…

That’s pretty fucking stupid. Like how does breaking your foot do anything other than breaking your foot?

Wakezilla
Member

I don’t think they were kicking it hard, yah no?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Yeah, they should have pissed on it.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

I don’t understand the spitting on and flipping the bird to an inanimate object – are they trying to hurt it’s feelings?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

That’s why you piss on it.

Redshirt
Member

Its rains on that statue. You think pee is more harmful than rain?

Senor Weaselo
Member

It would be like… ACID RAIN. *takes breath*
http://s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/1362875258_bWCMpkv.png

I’m sorry, I’ll show myself out.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

No, but I really need to piss.

Redshirt
Member

Fine, but I still think it would be better sprayed on a Klan robe or a Nazi symbol.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

You dare assume I didn’t piss on those two first? I have a large bladder, buddy.

Redshirt
Member

Alright good. Just as long as you put your pee to good use.

Redshirt
Member

Who was that?

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Grant.

Not the brightest protesters…but damn motivated.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

This is a good joke.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I read that it was dedicated to Confederate soldiers.

Redshirt
Member

If it was in a Confederate Cemetery, I would be pissed.

Since its in a courthouse, I don’t give a fuck.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

I’m kidding.

It would be hilarious…and completely possible thanks to the shit quality of American History education today, that people would knock over the wrong fucking statue.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

I’m a bit stunned that some very well educated folks still say things like “American beat the Nazis” and seem confused when you point out the Soviets did most of the work.

Senor Weaselo
Member

Dying in droves takes work, dammit!

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

People are fucking stupid and short-sighted.

It’s the same kind of myopic self-serving righteousness of the idiots who act like racism was dead and gone until Trump began running for President. I am so sick of dealing with shitheads like that that I just give up. It’s not worth my time or energy. I can pass for 100% European. I have my own shit to focus on and I’ve been worrying about other people impotently and without any regard for myself for my entire life and it’s gotten me nothing, nowhere.

Redshirt
Member

Banner quote material.

Hell, National Motto material.

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

Soviets died most of the deaths, but would they have won without the us joining the European theater and/or knocking out Japan?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

They had been pushing the Nazis back for more than a year before D-Day, so I’d say they had things in hand. Stalin screamed for Allied help on the western front and the USA was willing to jump in as early as 1942 but the Brits wanted to protect their Mediterranean interests before going into France.

Plus, Japan and the USSR had signed a non-aggression pact as neither wanted to deal with a second front. The Soviets did basically nothing out east until days before the bombs dropped.

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

According to the first search result I found
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/World_War_II_casualties
China lost 15 million plus and I didn’t even know they were a part of the war

Wakezilla
Member

Look up the Rape of Nanking

blaxabbath
Member

Yeah, they’re the Japanese.

Jeeze- read a takeout menu sometime….

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Japan was in China six years before Hitler ordered the invasion of Poland and Japan did some ghastly shit there. That government absolutely needed to be crushed unconditionally.

Gratliff
Member

Japan doesn’t get near as much hate for what they did to China in ww2 as they should, but I guess that’s what happens when you become the test subject for doomsday devices.

Wakezilla
Member

It’s because the Japs laid a beat down to the Commies who were trying to oust Western ally Chaing Kai Shek

Redshirt
Member

Agreed. I read some of it on Wikipedia and had to take a shower afterwards.

Redshirt
Member

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Second_Sino-Japanese_War

Japan and China got a jump on things.

Gratliff
Member

Japan was a fucking problem with a capital fucking. They were historically fortunate to be playing second fiddle to the first ballot Hall of Fame evil of the Third Reich

Redshirt
Member

Yes. If we weren’t tired from invading Germany, Japan would’ve been destroyed.

Hell, if we didn’t fight Germany, Japan would be the 51st-55th states right now.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

There were plans and preparations made to invade the Home Islands – casualties and civilian deaths were estimated to be huge, and if the atom bombs hadn’t worked, we would have waded ashore and the devastation would have been incredible.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

There’s a non-zero change American military leaders do not go forward with an invasion. Far from thinking the war was about over, there were fears of meeting the Japanese matched man-for-man and having an invasion drag out for months.

Redshirt
Member

Yeah, but after Europe and the Pacific War, America was all tired out.

Also, story goes that all Purple Hearts issued today were the ones created for the Invasion of Japan.

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

So technically…. we were allies with China. And since we’ve never officially declared war on them (or anyone) since, we still are!

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Isn’t that true of the Nationalist Chinese (Taiwan/Taipei) but not necessarily so with the Communist Chinese?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Yes. We were allied with Chiang Kai-Shek, not Mao. We originally supported Chiang’s claim as head of the Republic of China when they formed the UN and were giving China a permanent seat on the Security Council. But that didn’t work out.

But anyway, Chiang’s China was the China in the Allied Powers during the war.

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

Ssshhhh. We don’t mention the T-word in front of our new friends, the C-words.

Redshirt
Member

(splash)
Take that Rose! SHIT! ITS JOE NUXALL!

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

A dead traitor.

Redshirt
Member

Ah, I checked. Its no one, so okay. If it was commemorating someone, than I would have a problem with it being torn down and disrespected by a mob.

Even Robert E. Lee and Jefferson Davis campaigned for unity and reconsolidation after the Civil War.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Fuck them. They should’ve been hanged as traitors.

Redshirt
Member

Right. Then lets hang the slave owning Jefferson, Adams and Washington next to them. What the fuck did they ever do anyway?!

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

They were shit humans. Their political service was admirable, which justifiably puts their horrible actions beneath their good work, but that doesn’t make them saints. Moreover, they won their war–and victor’s justice is fickle that way.

Lee and Davis were traitors who did nothing subsequent to the war that excuses their crimes and being on the losing side of history, the republic, and humanity itself.

Redshirt
Member

Okay. Davis was a typical Southern, but for Lee…

Per Wikipedia: Lee generally supported civil rights for all, as well as a system of free public schools for blacks, but forthrightly opposed allowing blacks to vote. “My own opinion is that, at this time, they [black Southerners] cannot vote intelligently, and that giving them the [vote] would lead to a great deal of demagogism, and lead to embarrassments in various ways,” Lee stated.

Not giving them the right the vote is a mark against him, but two out of three ain’t bad

Last I say regard this. All I’m saying is just because they supported something that was completely evil doesn’t make them completely evil. If that the case, than every single German should’ve been killed at the end of World War II due to the fact that they supported Nazism.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

Any narrative about Lee needs to be considered along side the fact his descendants are militantly opposed to his personal papers being examined by anyone they don’t personally approve of. If you are lucky enough to see those papers, your work will be subject to the Lee family’s personal approval.

In short, the image we have of Lee is carefully crafted by withholding lots of recorded information about him. I’m betting what’s in those papers shatter the idea of him as noble advocate of reconciliation.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

And we did enact a whole process of de-nazification that went after a whole lot of people, and would’ve been even more destructive if it weren’t for the fact that the U.S. and its European allies decided that the fascists were useful allies against the Soviet Union. It’s a shitty excuse, but the reality is that if we hadn’t already begun fighting the Cold War before the ETO was even pacified, Germany would’ve had a lot fewer people when we were done with it.

At least that had a rational, somewhat legitimate geopolitical strategy behind it. With Reconstruction, the U.S. led by incompetent and unfaithful boobs like Andrew Johnson just gave up and let people get fucked over for another century.

I’m of the mind that Sherman did nothing wrong and should have proceeded even further to annihilating as much of the CSA’s political, military, and economic structures as was humanly possible, and that the peace that was accepted should not have been without a reckoning that involved the hanging of every CSA political and military leader and the wholesale conversion of their economies to literally anyone else but those who financed and backed the CSA and secession.

Redshirt
Member

Politics ended Reconstruction. Basically it was Bush v. Gore only worse and more tragic.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Compromise_of_1877

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

No, fuck Lee. He was the chief military commander in an insurrection against the United States. He doesn’t get a pass. He gave up his Army commission explicitly and purposefully to fight against his own men, his friends and colleagues, and his nation. He should’ve been the first one to the gallows.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli
Member

It’s funny because if they’d lost the Revolutionary War, the British absolutely would have.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

But they won, and victors make the rules.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

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LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

You can do gott-damned near anything with those Kalashnikovs.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

“I am seriously considering a pardon for Sheriff Arpaio,” the president said Sunday, during a conversation with Fox News at his club in Bedminster, N.J. “He has done a lot in the fight against illegal immigration. He’s a great American patriot and I hate to see what has happened to him.”

Senor Weaselo
Member

I’d say the Dirt Giants’ lack of hitting with RISP would fill me with bile and rage, but… yeah, that. Damn it.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Guys…another super rich NFL owner just died at an insanely old age, making more money on his death bed doing fuck all than we will make in our collective life times.

Let’s take a moment to remember.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Good riddance.

Jerry Was A Shogun Named Marcus
Member

Who?

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

The mentioned that the old man Rooney died. I have no idea when actually. Just the mentioned it during the broadcast.

Jerry Was A Shogun Named Marcus
Member

Dude that was in April.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Well I only heard about it during the broadcast.

I didn’t have his twitter feed on my account.

“I’m rich…oh crap…there goes my heart….”

Redshirt
Member

(crosses fingers)
Come on, one time one time!!!

Uh, be right back.

Redshirt
Member

(muttering) Son of a bitch. Brown’ll never die.

Redshirt
Member

Redshirt’s Voyager’s Stupid Update: “The Haunting of Deck Twelve”

Janeway: “The power’s out. Watch the Borg Children, Ship Resource Drain.”
Neelix: “Sure thing, but what about Naomi?”
Janeway: “Who?”
Neelix: “Naomi Wildman? First child born on the ship? She died during childbirth but was replaced by her alternate? Captain’s assistant? Seven’s Companion Cube?”
Janeway: “I have no clue what your talking about.”

WCS
Member

My sentiments exactly.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Huh…I just read that a representative from Dakota tried to propose a bill earlier this year (January) that would have made the Charlotteville rampage legal.

He proposed a piece of legislation that would waive a motorist’s liability for any damages caused by striking any person who was “obstructing vehicular traffic on a public road, street, or highway,” including injury or death.

This was a way to effectively make is deadly to protest the Sands Pipeline in Dakota.

Five other states tried to pass laws or are in the process of passing laws, that would remove any form of penalties or civil liabilities for motorists hitting protesters with cars.

Redshirt
Member

That reminds me, I gotta check out the pregame tailgates at Ann Arbor and New Three Rivers.

Oh, it didn’t pass? Nevermind.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Republicans are giant pieces of shit.

blaxabbath
Member

Seconded. Taxes are too fucking high for me to be hearing about some road rage bullshit.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Evening. Its going to be a fun night for me.

I am finally submitting to a take home sleep study.

This will be hell for me. I have to strap a bunch of shit onto my body, up my nose, ect. I also cannot sleep on my back without waking up in the morning numb from the waist down.

This fucking thing requires me to sleep on my back.

I’m contemplating just trying to fall asleep in my recliner outside.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Whatever it takes so that you can get good sleep. It’s amazing how much of a difference a CPAP or whatever can make for your sleep, health, and sanity.

JustStopDude
Member
JustStopDude

Oh I realize I have sleep apnea…however you spell it.

I know if I get one and get used to it, its a game changer in the positive direction. Everyone I know says the same thing…its a bitch to get used to, but once you go CPAP, there’s no going CBack…

blaxabbath
Member

Why not just get super high/drunk every night like the rest of us so to pass out/escape reality?

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

It takes some getting used to, without a doubt. Personally, I recommend the full nose/mouth mask – I tried the nose-only model and just felt it was really uncomfortable.

Story time: when I went for the first sleep study, I really had no clue how bad my sleep apnea was – my wife was the one that noticed how often/long my breathing stopped during the night. So, I get all wired up and get what I think is a normal night’s rest. Follow-up appointment with the doc and he tells me 1) I set some in-office record for having something like 350 “episodes” during a 7 hr period 2) I have something going on that he’s only seen in stroke victims. Oh, and at the follow-up/fitting for my CPAP, the tech tells me “I thought we were going to stop the study and go straight to treatment with you”

So, yeah, it’ll make a difference.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Fwiw, one of the nose only models wasn’t too bad for side sleeping. Ask them to fit you for all sorts of masks so you can choose the one that’s least uncomfortable for you.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

I did the sleep study prior to retiring from the Green Weenie. Made a hell of a difference getting that CPAP. I never realized how little real sleep I was getting and just got by on a combination of coffee, alcohol and pure, unfiltered hate and discontent.

Now, I’ve been able to cut back on the coffee.

blaxabbath
Member

Which green wienie?

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children.

Redshirt
Member

Go for the recliner. That is the only way I can sleep on my back. The only time I feel asleep on my back was when I was so tired, I passed out.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

Good evening Imaginary Internet Friends!

This week, Clan LemonJello makes the trek from OBX across the wilderness of NC to deliver LimeJello and OrangeJello to their respective institutions of higher learning. Pray for us.

Gratliff
Member
Redshirt
Member

Sorry, I have to let my Inner Hardcore Republican out.

(evil personality takeover)
“They’re violent and hateful. Lets tear down their shit!”

(slightly less evil personality reasserts itself)

Uh. What happened? Did I kill a squirrel again?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

I wonder if some enterprising young hot-taker out there is willing to run with the idea that women can’t be good football coaches because they are (on average) too short to see the field well enough.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

Katie Sowers has joined the team…

Sower? Well, I did reaper…

Redshirt
Member

•You know the Jets are fucked when the headline coming from their preseason game is that Christian Hackenberg “inspires hope“.

Ah, that brings back memories. So many instances of false hope. So many broken radios and holes in the wall.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Fuck everything.

Give me some quotes or something so I can make Quotables caption macros and not have to think about the real world. Also because otherwise I don’t give a fuck about football.

blaxabbath
Member

We need a library for these with a dfo watermark. We’ll change the face of internet commenting.

::4 hours later::

Aaaaannnnd the Alt-right has now embraced quotables comments as a cornerstone to their online hate deliveries.

Gratliff
Member

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LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

There’s a lot of what-the-fuck in this photo.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Member

I spent last night playing Until Dawn and watching Rick and Morty without even realizing that the Football Clippers were playing. It wasn’t until I caught up on yesterday’s open thread that I learned they lost horribly and had hilariously pathetic attendance. If every Sunday/Monday morning follows that pattern, it…

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Jerry Was A Shogun Named Marcus
Member

Are you killing all the teens or none of them? Or multiplayer?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Member

First time playing so trying to keep everyone alive. If a second playthrough happens, that will probably change.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Member

When you said “river” and “dancing” it made me think of the flickering patterns of flames on the Cuyahoga.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Member

Hue Jackson, artist’s conception:

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BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Wednesday pre-season football games are almost as dumb as Thursday night regular season games

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers
Member

Almost…

Gratliff
Member

Not gonna lie. That’s solid form on the tablesault.

Senor Weaselo
Member

“All these tables are great, but what about hitting them with the chairs?” -Someone, probably
/Sorry, don’t know much about wrestling other than the answer to all superhuman feats is Bruno Sammartino and the Iron Sheik thinks we are all jabronies

Gratliff
Member

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Senor Weaselo
Member

Gratliff
Member

At least 80% of those are sync’d too

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