Your “Tomorrow Might Not Be Here For You” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Slight hangover…no scratches or cuff marks…note from wife about snoring…VICTORY!

NFL News:

• Ezekiel Elliott’s appeal hearing has finally ended.
  • Under the rules, the arbitrator has five working days to release his ruling. Pressure from both sides is coming to have it decided by Monday.
  • Most of the comments under Schefter’s tweet related to Fantasy Drafts this Sunday.

Harold Henderson, the appeals officer in the Ezekiel Elliott hearing, is under pressure to have a decision by Monday, per source.

— Adam Schefter (@AdamSchefter) August 31, 2017

• The Steelers have extended GM Kevin Colbert through 2020.
  • Signing Joe Haden five minutes after his release pretty much cinched the deal.

• Animal rights groups have started a change.org petition to try & force FOX to drop Michael Vick from its broadcast team.
  • It already has 75000 signatures.
    • In comparison the petition from mental-health professionals to demand Trump resign due to his “obvious” mental health condition only has 61000 signatures.
  • The “fuck off, losers” from FOX Sports head Eric Shanks is phrased thusly:

“Over the last 10 or 11 years, not only has he paid his debt to society, but he’s done everything a person who has made a terrible mistake like that can do. We felt it was the right person at the right time for us,” Shanks told USA Today.

• Reports out of Seattle have the Seahawks looking for trade offers for players like Jeremy Lane and Jermaine Kearse.
  • The Browns appear interested in Kearse, who has a base salary of $2.2 million, and need someone for DeShone Kizer to throw at.

Game Preview: Rams at Packers

In a case of two teams on vastly different trajectories, the SBNation blogs for these teams tell the true story.

Beyond the usual game previews, Turf Show Times leads with a story on their 2018 Rams mock draft. They also highly tout the return of Eric Dickerson to the fold, and are still wondering if & when Aaron Donald will PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!! end his holdout. In short, I think these folks will be happy with 5-11. Tonight’s moral victory of staying close will guide them into Week-1.

Over at the Acme Packing Company, they are looking at bubble players in the few spots actually open for starting competition. They rave in “Cheese Curds” about the signing Wednesday of former 49er Ahmad Brooks, and marvel at how Aaron Rodgers said lots of words but actually very little in his ESPN interview. They are looking at the Seahawks already, and I don’t think starters will see much more than one series, and only because they are playing at home. If this game were in LA, Aaron would be dressed in streets & texting his Baywatch ladyfriend.

Game preview: Seahawks at Raiders.

Over at the Field Gulls, they are too wrapped up in trade rumours to be looking ahead to the Packers in Week-1. The big story prior to cutdown day is “Could Seahawks add Sheldon Richardson if they parted with Jermaine Kearse?” There is a fuck-ton of math involved, and I’m not Frankly, I don’t care, because the other main story is “Seahawks in for another 3rd string showdown against Raiders on Thursday“, which means the game will suck from the Seahawks side, as Pete Carroll & the coaching kids will be student-driving the players they are monitoring, to see how they handle mismatches thrown their way. Boykin is probably going to get killed.

The only interesting thing on the site is a discussion of something called the “Regenokine process”, which Dok Zymm will elaborate on in the comments. (PLEASE!) In sum, it’s where “anti-inflammatory factors are removed from the patient’s blood, manipulated, and then reinjected into the painful areas,” according to the Stem Cell Institute. To me, it sounds like something that would get Lance Armstrong back into & then immediately kicked out of the Tour de France again.

Over at Silver and Black Pride, the sadly named future Vegas Raiders site, surprising little on Marshawn Lynch at this late date. A couple of stories about Derek Carr, Matt Stafford & salary, and the usual falderal about roster moves prior to Opening Day. Also, there’s signs of the impending move’s acceptance and monetization, with the promotion for sale of this shirt:

And the advertising is just as sad:

No matter where life takes you, you never forget where you came from. Rep the one and only original ‘Nation’ from where it all began with the ‘Oakland: Birthplace of a Nation’ T-shirt.

Whether you’re from Oakland or elsewhere, if you rep the Silver & Black, you’re all on the same side. You’re all part of the same Nation.

But there is a touching short article about Sebastian Janikowski, who is entering his 18th year and still sports an 80% field goal average.

Game Preview: Word Association division

For the games not broadcast on NFL Network, I thought I’d try and draw comparisons to everyday objects & emotions, to help us better understand the trajectory these teams are looking to take this upcoming season, based on how their second- and third-stringers will look tonight.

• EAGLES AT JETS – green shit
• JAGUARS AT FALCONS – southern fried shit
• BENGALS AT COLTS – runny, lumpy shit
• LIONS AT BILLS – polluted shit
• STEELERS AT PANTHERS – interesting shit
• GIANTS AT PATRIOTS – the Jimmy Garoppoo-poo show
• REDSKINS AT BUCCANEERS – diseased shit
• DOLPHINS AT VIKINGS – fishy shit
• RAVENS AT SAINTS – elite shit
• BROWNS AT BEARS – tricking the new foreign-exchange kid at school into eating chocolate ex-lax
• TITANS AT CHIEFS – a shart
• CARDINALS AT BRONCOS – horse shit
• CHARGERS AT 49ERS – FUCK BOTH JED YORK & DEAN SPANOS WITH HOT METAL DILDOS!

In short, you may sum up most of these games thusly:

Tonight’s sports:

• Football:
  • NFL:
    • Rams at Packers – 7:00PM | NFL Network
    • Seahawks at Raiders – 10:00PM | NFL Network
  • NCAA:
    • Tulsa at Oklahoma State – 7:30PM | FS1
    • Ohio State at Indiana – 8:00PM | ESPN
  • CFL:
    • Redblacks at Alouettes – 7:30PM | TSN
• MLB:
  • Jays at Orioles – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • Cardinals at Giants – 10:00PM | Sportsnet360

Loogit that sports schedule – THAT’S MORE LIKE IT!