Your “The Football Crowd Is Going To Give Me A Boot” Saturday Evening Open Thread

 

So, based on reading this, 4:00 Eastern was the deadline when clubs must reduce rosters to a maximum of 53 players on the Active/Inactive List, retain contracts for practice squad eligibility, plus declare their PUP players. Then the cuts & trades can commence. From that time until noon the next day, all cut players are eligible for waiver pickup. At 1:00 PM Sunday, teams can name their practice squads. All player contracts must be submitted to the League office by 4:00PM on September 6th.

Enough babble – to the drinking & sports!


Tonight’s contests:

  • Football:
    • NCAA:
      • Louisville vs. Purdue – 7:30PM | FOX
      • South Alabama at Mississippi – 7:30PM | ESPNU
      • Florida State vs. Alabama – 8:00PM | ABC / TSN3
      • BYU vs. LSU – 9:30Pm | ESPN / TSN
      • Montana State at Washington State – 10:30PM | FS1
  • Baseball:
    • Angels at Rangers – 7:00PM | FS1
    • Jays at Orioles – 7:00PM | Sportsnet

Be good, my children, for we are but a week away from SUNDAY FOOTBALL!

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Subscribe
Notify of
615 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Horatio Cornblower

Jordana Spiro, who plays Rachel, the bartender/owner in Ozark who only gets laid once a week.

http://ilarge.lisimg.com/image/7977972/1000full-jordana-spiro.jpg

OK, so the show’s not totally realistic.

King Hippo

so far we have seen two females, both thin, one who OWNS HER OWN PROPERTY??

/yeah, this ain’t the fucking Ozarks

//especially if they have all their original teeth

theeWeeBabySeamus

HEY YOU KNOW I HAD A BIKE ACCIDENT AND HAD MY FACE REBUILT!!!!

/rereads msg
//never mind

Horatio Cornblower
theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Senor Weaselo

I thought it was because he hadn’t done all the steroids!

Horatio Cornblower

They really deglamorize her on the show, (and she’s underwater on the property on the show, so totes consistent with the Ozarks), but you can really only do so much deglamorizing with her.

Spur

Let’s Go Magic Underwear! I want to see those LSU fans cry.

King Hippo

Dalvin Cook is clearly stoned.

litre_cola

I thought that immediately when they panned to him.

King Hippo

/regrets taking Jamaal Charles over Latavius Murray with last fantasy draft choice

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

I did not win an Xbox One X. 🙁

King Hippo

If it’s any consolation, I don’t even know what that is.

Mr. Ayo

No one does.

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

Right? I feel like I’m right at the border of too old to follow this shit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Did you ever get your PS4?
Because Wayne Brady will fly to San Diego and choke a bitch.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

I did indeed. Nathan Drake and I have been hanging out.

Gratliff

I wish I didn’t have a ridiculous XBox One digital library. It makes switching for exclusives harder to do.

Senor Weaselo

If you’re not spending the whole time playing the Crash Bandicoot minigame you’re doing it wrong.
/They remade Crash, remake the original Spyro trilogy!
//Fuck you Activision for Skylanders (hup-tooey)

Horatio Cornblower

I have an Xbox One. Am I obsolete again?

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

I have one too – there’s a new version coming out that does 4K.

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus Christ.

Senor Weaselo

I have a Wii that’s missing its sensor bar and I haven’t played it in at least 4 years.

Gratliff

Realized today the boy had never seen an actual kung fu movie in the first 10 years of his life, so I sat him through Legend of Drunken Master, subtitles and all. He was legit surprised to enjoy a movie he had to read through, so I’m taking this as a sign to bury him in pre-American-success Jet Li films until he never wants to watch another Asian movie again, followed immediately by all the goofy 60’s and 70’s kung fu shit I grew up on.

comment image

Senor Weaselo
Gratliff

comment image

Spur

FSU is getting a lot of push this drive

herodotus450

The Tallahassee Police Department doesn’t think there’s enough evidence to conclude that, actually

Senor Weaselo

Senor put a couple drops of Ultra Death on his London broil tonight, chuh chuh. I’m almost back, baby!

Horatio Cornblower

Anyone else watching ‘Ozark’ on Netflix? I’ve gotten hooked on it.

http://i.imgur.com/9dgH61P.jpg

That’s Sofia Hublitz, playing Jason Bateman’s 15 year-old daughter, and you bet your ass I did the math from her iMDB page and got to 18 before posting that photo.

King Hippo

I have contemplated, but feared I couldn’t get past Michael Bluth as an Arkansan meth kingpin. Have I made a huge mistake?

theeWeeBabySeamus

There’s always money in the meth lab.

Horatio Cornblower

He’s not a drug kingpin, he’s an accountant laundering money for drug kingpins and it makes a huge difference because you’re right, I could never buy him as the head of a cartel. But as an accountant in way over his head? Nailing it.

Darkest Timeline Zack Morris

It really is terrific. Bateman is fantastic in it.

Spur

Time to start drinking…

King Hippo

Little late, but you can catch up if’n you a real Texan

Unsurprised

I concur.

Horatio Cornblower

Buick: For When Your Grandma Fucks Her Way Across The Italian Peninsula

King Hippo

Hey, at least you know what to buy granny FOAR Kwanzaa this year!

#Lube

Spur

Hurts can throw now?????????

herodotus450

Hertz, doin’ it?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Avis tries harder.
Well, at least they used to. But then OJ killed some folks.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Lots of obscure references there, I know.
But trust me, it makes sense.

Unsurprised

OJ shilled for Hertz

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, then Avis didn’t have to try harder anymore.
See above.

Unsurprised

/finger guns

Gotcha

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry…see below. LOL.

King Hippo

ALLEGEDLY

Unsurprised

Just ask Favre’s receivers with broken fingers and thumbs.

King Hippo

YAY, Bama’s 1s showed up after all

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sooooooo….

Redneck neighbors down the road just decided to start firing off fireworks (and I don’t mean bottle rockets…da real shit….da real LOUD shit) on a random Saturday night. Yeah, Labor Day Weekend and all and FUCK YOU ASSHOLES!!!!! DO THAT SHIT ON LABOR DAY AND ALSO YOU’RE NOT SMART ENOUGH TO HAVE JOBS SO WTF ARE YOU CELEBRATING FOR??????????????

/loads shotgun
//goes to have a chat

Horatio Cornblower

Pax Vobiscum!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Is that supposed to some wiseass remark about my big nose????????

Horatio Cornblower

I believe it means “Go in peace” in Latin but I haven’t taken Latin since high school and I wasn’t very good at it then so yes, I might be making fun of your nose. I really don’t know.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, that is what it means. But I was making a stupid “sounds like proboscis” joke.

Never mind. I’m a little drunk.

herodotus450

The Vox Populi has spoken!

Horatio Cornblower

A quick check of the Georgia-App State game results in a “yeesh, this is a snuff film” and a quick change to FSU-Bama and a burning desire to see the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse ride a meteor right into the 50 yard line.

FOOTBALL IS BACK BABY, AND I HATE EVERYTHING!!!!

Horatio Cornblower

Wrestling the TV from my daughter, who is watching ‘Ghost Adventures’ and live-tweeting about it and now she’s upset because my constant insults of the hosts are half of her content.

Spur

comment image

Unsurprised

Her live tweets of you watching football are soon to be a Moment on Twitter’s front page.

Horatio Cornblower

I’m very popular with her followers during blackouts. Electric blackouts, not my own.

LemonJello

As far as you know.

herodotus450

Are any of her followers 16 or 17 or 18 depending on where they live, and Peter King-level precocious?
/Asking for a friend.

blaxabbath

She live tweets? Holy shit. My wife watches that terrible ghost shit (did you know there’s a Rob Lowe one?!). Thank goodness she isn’t on twitter though.

Spur

Roll Tears!

Brick Meathook

I just dropped into my favorite local bar for watching football and forgot they host Florida State games and it is wall to wall with college educated rednecks, Southern California style (most of whom I’ve found to be very nice people).

I lasted 2 minutes before Plan B kicked in and I went to the bar down the street.

Gratliff

I lasted 2 minutes before Plan B kicked in and I went to the bar down the street.

For when you have literally no intention of pulling out

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehehe

JustStopDude
Unsurprised

Since this.

comment image

Gratliff

Royal Farms is the Cleveland Browns of east coast convenience store chains.

JustStopDude

Sheetz is the cranked out meth cooker on a 5 day binge of East Coast convenience stores.

Horatio Cornblower

Joe Flacco does not like his fried chicken ads that spicy.

LemonJello

Flacco prefers his chicken boiled.

Horatio Cornblower

Funny, ‘Flacco’ doesn’t sound Irish.

Unsurprised

Mayo Irish

Spur

Nebraska trailing Ark State 10-14…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ah yes, I remember those days.

– Philip Rivers

(no one but Hippo will get that, but I don’t care)

Spur

Jerry Jones is going to have to build a new stadium since he’s been one upped now. A bigger stadium with more hookers and blow.

King Hippo

not just one-upped, one-upped by a Jew

theeWeeBabySeamus

Jameis all excyte n junk.
He gon’ rape something.

King Hippo

somebody must have they sister on the sideline

LemonJello

Well, they ARE teams from Alabama and Florida…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Reminds me of the old joke….

This is my sister and my girlfriend.

But there’s only one girl standing there.

LemonJello

Sister, cousin and girlfriend.

King Hippo

Petrino also rocking the “off the CVS rack” glasses

Spur

That adidas ad makes no sense. Why are two opposing teams hanging out?

LemonJello

So, when are both teams (RDT & FSt) putting in their first stringers?

King Hippo

srsly, the 2s are BUTTTTTTT

Horatio Cornblower

So I just got back from the Woodstock Fair, one of Connecticut’s larger fall fairs and where I passed up the chance to, I shit you not, see fucking JOURNEY play the main stage before a bunch of sunburned red necks wearing shirts that say “You Stomp My Flag I Stomp Your Ass” while their 300 lb. mayo-stained wives each wrestle with 3-4 kids under age 7.

I also learned that I can no longer go on rides that involve a lot of centrifugal force. I went on two, (which is really just gambling with your life because there’s no way those rides are up to code and definitely no way that the carnie running it is sober), and left the second one literally sweating the nausea out. Old age is fun.

And how are the rest of you degenerates this fine evening?

King Hippo

I can’t do rides because my PeyPey neck means my head would plum fall off.

You missed a lot of screaming in the 3:00 window. Rooting for Bama now.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hahahaah….yes, it probably sounded like a carnie exploded his dick there was so much profanity in my house. LMFAO.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Pussy. I rode every thrill ride in Magic Mountain last summer multiple times and I’m older than you.

King Hippo

yeah, but ur 2/3 mary-jew-wanna by now ,, smgdh

theeWeeBabySeamus

You have a point. But that day I was weed and alkyhawl free.
No shit.

Horatio Cornblower

“I rode every ride in Magic Mountain…” said Jerry Sandusky.

King Hippo

“Sit on my lap, I don’t mind”

Spur

“I rode every rider at the Magic Mountain…” said Jerry Sandusky.

LemonJello

Can’t complain, been watching JV fitbaw all afternoon.
comment image

Horatio Cornblower

Hopefully it ends better for you than that scene ended for Chris.

Spur

comment image

Horatio Cornblower

I’d have killed to go on a good roller coaster. And been killed if I went on the one they had there.

Unsurprised

I was joking about this elsewhere, but being celibate really does make me angry as fuck whenever I see losers and evil shitheads who are married or just who fuck, probably because it makes me think that all the excuses I’ve made not to try and hook up and fuck up chances when thrown at me were stupid mistakes made out of fear and self-loathing and this insane complex of not trusting anyone because, well, whatever.

Point is that I made a huge mistake and I would say lost out on my prime fucking years except that I’m probably in better shape to fuck at 38 than I was at 18.

Unsurprised

I’m sorry. I meant to say that your day sounds excruciating between the mayo people and having to listen to Journey perform. And then on top of that you got nauseous. Ouch.

My afternoon was pretty good. I just walked around, but it was outside and I was moving and ended up doing just under four miles.

blaxabbath

Welcome to the meaning of life. Now go acquire yourself some money/power/status and you can be the evil shithead. It’s amazing the kind of ass these douches in Scottsdale pull by simply buying their own $30,000-a-year-millionaire bullshit.

Spur

WSU put up a good fight. The final score doesn’t tell how tough they played USC.

King Hippo

another attempt from the left hash LMAO

JustStopDude

Rare QB throw and catch by Alabama.

King Hippo

Their skill position dudes look WAY less than the usual Saban standard. Oh, the puppies down Bama way gon’ suffer FOAR that.

King Hippo

Give the Troi Boiz credit, that’s no pussy schedule they got. WMU, Texas, Notre Dame. 9 PAC fixtures.

Spur

WMU defense is spent. Trojans will have to make a mistake for WSU to get a shot to win.

Spur

When did Jimbo start wearing grandma glasses?

King Hippo

Rick Perry told him ppl would think he looked S-M-R-T

theeWeeBabySeamus

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Spur

WMU sticking around. They need a stop.

Mr. Ayo

Or they could do that instead.

King Hippo

Would Frenchie here go ahead and get his sexual assault charge out of the way so’s I can call him Rapey Jameis 2: Electric Boogaloo?

Spur

WMU almost got hosed on a BS fumble.

King Hippo

The No-Longer-Condi-Committee is surely not amused at the thought of losing Los Angeles this early.

Spur

Alabama you need yourself a Quinn Nordin

Senor Weaselo

Shank’hor is not opposed to doing Her work on Saturdays, it seems.

LemonJello

Sad trombone for RDT’s kicker. SHANK’LOR has her way.

King Hippo

His approach did not seem confident in the least.

Senor Weaselo

Dumb thought: There needs to be a D-I school in Pennsylvania Dutch Country that has a rivalry with Notre Dame so it can be the Fighting Irish vs. the Fighting Amish.

King Hippo

But I saw “Witness” I thought they wouldn’t fight back ,, smh??

Senor Weaselo

(Your “Prague Spring” comment made me think of Rumsprniga.)

JustStopDude

I served with a guy that was raised Amish. He convince his mother to pull him and herself out of the community it’s and let him get his GED.

It was always weird the stuff he didn’t know…like the Simpsons or the Moon Landing happening. After the military, he got his PhD in physics and now works for NASA.

Mr. Ayo

The Amish are faking our space exploits now? Wild world.

LemonJello

Hard to imagine getting a horse-drawn capsule to the moon, I suppose.

King Hippo

It warms my heart to think about radio callers already discussing whether the new TX head coach’s job be in jeopardy for losing to MD today. Hee hee. Texas.

JustStopDude

He’s white so he is safe for at least three years.

Now if Charlie Strong started off like this….

theeWeeBabySeamus

I so wish we’d hire Charlie Strong.
Though around here, maybe not.
Fucking rednecks.

King Hippo

We only hire black (basketball) coaches who are morons, so the rednecks can go SEE??111!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I really hope we’re wrong about Keatts.
But I know we’re not.

Maybe he can get out of town alive if he puts on a Sid Lowe jersey.

King Hippo

Purdue’s mini-Prague Spring appears over

King Hippo

But Western Michigan…

Spur

I have to root for Florida St and BYU on the same night? Life is cruel.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Roll Tide.
Couldn’t care less about Big Love v Geaux Tigres

King Hippo

kinda hope LSU is decent so can give RDT a game

Unsurprised

Death always to BYU.

King Hippo

*exceptions for ND and U*NC

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe….Can I slide UMd and ECU in here?
Like they’d be stupid enough to schedule ECU…Only we do that dumb shit.

Unsurprised

No, then everyone in the stadium must die in Hellfire.

There are schools that should not fucking exist, BYU, ND, Penn State, and Baylor are the most notorious but hardly alone. A just God doesn’t exist or else they and their entire communities would be wiped from the Earth already.

Spur

ROW THE FUCKING BOAT MOTHERFUCKERS COME ON

King Hippo

Also, 7-zip Purdue!

King Hippo

Baylor losing to the Fightin’ Falwells.

blaxabbath

Should I get a smoker?

ArmedandHammered

Have you found one you like hanging around outside of a local bar?

laserguru

Depends on how close your neighbors are. It’s a massive commitment to time and smoke. Also, are you willing to tend a fire at 5 AM?

blaxabbath

My neighbor is on the other side of the wall. I doubt they’d reall ymind the occasional session; I think everyone in my neighborhood likes when people are bbqing or smoking.

Also, I am willing to do some 5a tending. I probably am not willing to do such work every 45 minutes for 15 hours, if that is required.

Unsurprised

I love how effortlessly Magary has gone full smokeboy.

King Hippo

what’s a smokeboy??

Shogun Marcus

He bought a smoker. So that’s all he do now.

Unsurprised

This.

Mr. Ayo

I can’t believe it took him this long.

LemonJello

Watching AppSt (Go tuition moneys!) v UGa…nawt looking good for the Mountaineers of Boone, NC.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I like Happy Appy. A lot actually.
But UGa happens to be my alternate alma mater.

Go Dawgs.

Unsurprised

I just made the best tuna sandwich I’ve made in a long time.

Also, I just read that Richard Posner is retiring. Yet Frank Easterbrook (Greggggggg’s even dumber brother) remains on the bench. Goddamnit.

I was reading replies about that photo of Ted Cruz supplicating before Trump like the bootlicking toady he is, and it’s beautiful.

LemonJello

What do you put in your tuna?
/always looking to improve on my tuna salad game

Unsurprised

Tomato, celery, salt, pepper, and paprika.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Try a little pickle relish on top of that (2tbsps, give or take).
Gives a little zest.

LemonJello

I always add the pickle relish, sometimes I add some diced jalapenos.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Looks like a flipping night betwixt Jays/Os and Tide/’Noles.

Time to drink (moar) heavily.

King Hippo

Seems like other Donks fans all hate the Brock Lobster news, too.

PLEASE GOD, stay well, Trevor Siemian.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I bet that’s a sentence you never expected to say.

Shogun Marcus

These are indeed dark times.

Unsurprised

comment image

1 2 3 4