So, based on reading this, 4:00 Eastern was the deadline when clubs must reduce rosters to a maximum of 53 players on the Active/Inactive List, retain contracts for practice squad eligibility, plus declare their PUP players. Then the cuts & trades can commence. From that time until noon the next day, all cut players are eligible for waiver pickup. At 1:00 PM Sunday, teams can name their practice squads. All player contracts must be submitted to the League office by 4:00PM on September 6th.
Enough babble – to the drinking & sports!
Tonight’s contests:
- Football:
- NCAA:
- Louisville vs. Purdue – 7:30PM | FOX
- South Alabama at Mississippi – 7:30PM | ESPNU
- Florida State vs. Alabama – 8:00PM | ABC / TSN3
- BYU vs. LSU – 9:30Pm | ESPN / TSN
- Montana State at Washington State – 10:30PM | FS1
- NCAA:
- Baseball:
- Angels at Rangers – 7:00PM | FS1
- Jays at Orioles – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
Be good, my children, for we are but a week away from SUNDAY FOOTBALL!
Jordana Spiro, who plays Rachel, the bartender/owner in Ozark who only gets laid once a week.
http://ilarge.lisimg.com/image/7977972/1000full-jordana-spiro.jpg
OK, so the show’s not totally realistic.
so far we have seen two females, both thin, one who OWNS HER OWN PROPERTY??
/yeah, this ain’t the fucking Ozarks
//especially if they have all their original teeth
HEY YOU KNOW I HAD A BIKE ACCIDENT AND HAD MY FACE REBUILT!!!!
/rereads msg
//never mind
https://static1.squarespace.com/static/548f2e27e4b0247834e13428/t/54c90b92e4b0c51e342690bc/1422461842469/Bike+Accident+with+Another+Bike
And just like that, tWBS’s chances in the Tour de France came to an end.
I thought it was because he hadn’t done all the steroids!
They really deglamorize her on the show, (and she’s underwater on the property on the show, so totes consistent with the Ozarks), but you can really only do so much deglamorizing with her.
Let’s Go Magic Underwear! I want to see those LSU fans cry.
Dalvin Cook is clearly stoned.
I thought that immediately when they panned to him.
/regrets taking Jamaal Charles over Latavius Murray with last fantasy draft choice
I did not win an Xbox One X. 🙁
If it’s any consolation, I don’t even know what that is.
No one does.
LMFAO
Right? I feel like I’m right at the border of too old to follow this shit.
Did you ever get your PS4?
Because Wayne Brady will fly to San Diego and choke a bitch.
I did indeed. Nathan Drake and I have been hanging out.
I wish I didn’t have a ridiculous XBox One digital library. It makes switching for exclusives harder to do.
If you’re not spending the whole time playing the Crash Bandicoot minigame you’re doing it wrong.
/They remade Crash, remake the original Spyro trilogy!
//Fuck you Activision for Skylanders (hup-tooey)
I have an Xbox One. Am I obsolete again?
I have one too – there’s a new version coming out that does 4K.
Jesus Christ.
I have a Wii that’s missing its sensor bar and I haven’t played it in at least 4 years.
Realized today the boy had never seen an actual kung fu movie in the first 10 years of his life, so I sat him through Legend of Drunken Master, subtitles and all. He was legit surprised to enjoy a movie he had to read through, so I’m taking this as a sign to bury him in pre-American-success Jet Li films until he never wants to watch another Asian movie again, followed immediately by all the goofy 60’s and 70’s kung fu shit I grew up on.
You know what would make it cooler?
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/022/440/1c1.png
FSU is getting a lot of push this drive
The Tallahassee Police Department doesn’t think there’s enough evidence to conclude that, actually
Senor put a couple drops of Ultra Death on his London broil tonight, chuh chuh. I’m almost back, baby!
Anyone else watching ‘Ozark’ on Netflix? I’ve gotten hooked on it.
http://i.imgur.com/9dgH61P.jpg
That’s Sofia Hublitz, playing Jason Bateman’s 15 year-old daughter, and you bet your ass I did the math from her iMDB page and got to 18 before posting that photo.
I have contemplated, but feared I couldn’t get past Michael Bluth as an Arkansan meth kingpin. Have I made a huge mistake?
There’s always money in the meth lab.
He’s not a drug kingpin, he’s an accountant laundering money for drug kingpins and it makes a huge difference because you’re right, I could never buy him as the head of a cartel. But as an accountant in way over his head? Nailing it.
It really is terrific. Bateman is fantastic in it.
Time to start drinking…
Little late, but you can catch up if’n you a real Texan
I concur.
Buick: For When Your Grandma Fucks Her Way Across The Italian Peninsula
Hey, at least you know what to buy granny FOAR Kwanzaa this year!
#Lube
Hurts can throw now?????????
Hertz, doin’ it?
Avis tries harder.
Well, at least they used to. But then OJ killed some folks.
Lots of obscure references there, I know.
But trust me, it makes sense.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4LECXW_MQY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8gMsusVaLng
OJ shilled for Hertz
Yes, then Avis didn’t have to try harder anymore.
See above.
/finger guns
Gotcha
Sorry…see below. LOL.
ALLEGEDLY
Just ask Favre’s receivers with broken fingers and thumbs.
YAY, Bama’s 1s showed up after all
Sooooooo….
Redneck neighbors down the road just decided to start firing off fireworks (and I don’t mean bottle rockets…da real shit….da real LOUD shit) on a random Saturday night. Yeah, Labor Day Weekend and all and FUCK YOU ASSHOLES!!!!! DO THAT SHIT ON LABOR DAY AND ALSO YOU’RE NOT SMART ENOUGH TO HAVE JOBS SO WTF ARE YOU CELEBRATING FOR??????????????
/loads shotgun
//goes to have a chat
Pax Vobiscum!
Is that supposed to some wiseass remark about my big nose????????
I believe it means “Go in peace” in Latin but I haven’t taken Latin since high school and I wasn’t very good at it then so yes, I might be making fun of your nose. I really don’t know.
Yes, that is what it means. But I was making a stupid “sounds like proboscis” joke.
Never mind. I’m a little drunk.
The Vox Populi has spoken!
A quick check of the Georgia-App State game results in a “yeesh, this is a snuff film” and a quick change to FSU-Bama and a burning desire to see the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse ride a meteor right into the 50 yard line.
FOOTBALL IS BACK BABY, AND I HATE EVERYTHING!!!!
Wrestling the TV from my daughter, who is watching ‘Ghost Adventures’ and live-tweeting about it and now she’s upset because my constant insults of the hosts are half of her content.
Her live tweets of you watching football are soon to be a Moment on Twitter’s front page.
I’m very popular with her followers during blackouts. Electric blackouts, not my own.
As far as you know.
Are any of her followers 16 or 17 or 18 depending on where they live, and Peter King-level precocious?
/Asking for a friend.
She live tweets? Holy shit. My wife watches that terrible ghost shit (did you know there’s a Rob Lowe one?!). Thank goodness she isn’t on twitter though.
Roll Tears!
I just dropped into my favorite local bar for watching football and forgot they host Florida State games and it is wall to wall with college educated rednecks, Southern California style (most of whom I’ve found to be very nice people).
I lasted 2 minutes before Plan B kicked in and I went to the bar down the street.
For when you have literally no intention of pulling out
Hehehehehe
The whitest thing in MD.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uydaA0RLaWM
Since this.
Royal Farms is the Cleveland Browns of east coast convenience store chains.
Sheetz is the cranked out meth cooker on a 5 day binge of East Coast convenience stores.
Joe Flacco does not like his fried chicken ads that spicy.
Flacco prefers his chicken boiled.
Funny, ‘Flacco’ doesn’t sound Irish.
Mayo Irish
Nebraska trailing Ark State 10-14…
– Philip Rivers
(no one but Hippo will get that, but I don’t care)
Jerry Jones is going to have to build a new stadium since he’s been one upped now. A bigger stadium with more hookers and blow.
not just one-upped, one-upped by a Jew
Jameis all excyte n junk.
He gon’ rape something.
somebody must have they sister on the sideline
Well, they ARE teams from Alabama and Florida…
Reminds me of the old joke….
This is my sister and my girlfriend.
But there’s only one girl standing there.
Sister, cousin and girlfriend.
Petrino also rocking the “off the CVS rack” glasses
That adidas ad makes no sense. Why are two opposing teams hanging out?
So, when are both teams (RDT & FSt) putting in their first stringers?
srsly, the 2s are BUTTTTTTT
So I just got back from the Woodstock Fair, one of Connecticut’s larger fall fairs and where I passed up the chance to, I shit you not, see fucking JOURNEY play the main stage before a bunch of sunburned red necks wearing shirts that say “You Stomp My Flag I Stomp Your Ass” while their 300 lb. mayo-stained wives each wrestle with 3-4 kids under age 7.
I also learned that I can no longer go on rides that involve a lot of centrifugal force. I went on two, (which is really just gambling with your life because there’s no way those rides are up to code and definitely no way that the carnie running it is sober), and left the second one literally sweating the nausea out. Old age is fun.
And how are the rest of you degenerates this fine evening?
I can’t do rides because my PeyPey neck means my head would plum fall off.
You missed a lot of screaming in the 3:00 window. Rooting for Bama now.
Hahahaah….yes, it probably sounded like a carnie exploded his dick there was so much profanity in my house. LMFAO.
Pussy. I rode every thrill ride in Magic Mountain last summer multiple times and I’m older than you.
yeah, but ur 2/3 mary-jew-wanna by now ,, smgdh
You have a point. But that day I was weed and alkyhawl free.
No shit.
“I rode every ride in Magic Mountain…” said Jerry Sandusky.
“Sit on my lap, I don’t mind”
“I rode every rider at the Magic Mountain…” said Jerry Sandusky.
Can’t complain, been watching JV fitbaw all afternoon.
Hopefully it ends better for you than that scene ended for Chris.
I’d have killed to go on a good roller coaster. And been killed if I went on the one they had there.
I was joking about this elsewhere, but being celibate really does make me angry as fuck whenever I see losers and evil shitheads who are married or just who fuck, probably because it makes me think that all the excuses I’ve made not to try and hook up and fuck up chances when thrown at me were stupid mistakes made out of fear and self-loathing and this insane complex of not trusting anyone because, well, whatever.
Point is that I made a huge mistake and I would say lost out on my prime fucking years except that I’m probably in better shape to fuck at 38 than I was at 18.
I’m sorry. I meant to say that your day sounds excruciating between the mayo people and having to listen to Journey perform. And then on top of that you got nauseous. Ouch.
My afternoon was pretty good. I just walked around, but it was outside and I was moving and ended up doing just under four miles.
Welcome to the meaning of life. Now go acquire yourself some money/power/status and you can be the evil shithead. It’s amazing the kind of ass these douches in Scottsdale pull by simply buying their own $30,000-a-year-millionaire bullshit.
WSU put up a good fight. The final score doesn’t tell how tough they played USC.
another attempt from the left hash LMAO
Rare QB throw and catch by Alabama.
Their skill position dudes look WAY less than the usual Saban standard. Oh, the puppies down Bama way gon’ suffer FOAR that.
Give the Troi Boiz credit, that’s no pussy schedule they got. WMU, Texas, Notre Dame. 9 PAC fixtures.
WMU defense is spent. Trojans will have to make a mistake for WSU to get a shot to win.
When did Jimbo start wearing grandma glasses?
Rick Perry told him ppl would think he looked S-M-R-T
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
WMU sticking around. They need a stop.
Or they could do that instead.
Would Frenchie here go ahead and get his sexual assault charge out of the way so’s I can call him Rapey Jameis 2: Electric Boogaloo?
WMU almost got hosed on a BS fumble.
The No-Longer-Condi-Committee is surely not amused at the thought of losing Los Angeles this early.
Alabama you need yourself a Quinn Nordin
Shank’hor is not opposed to doing Her work on Saturdays, it seems.
Sad trombone for RDT’s kicker. SHANK’LOR has her way.
His approach did not seem confident in the least.
Dumb thought: There needs to be a D-I school in Pennsylvania Dutch Country that has a rivalry with Notre Dame so it can be the Fighting Irish vs. the Fighting Amish.
But I saw “Witness” I thought they wouldn’t fight back ,, smh??
(Your “Prague Spring” comment made me think of Rumsprniga.)
I served with a guy that was raised Amish. He convince his mother to pull him and herself out of the community it’s and let him get his GED.
It was always weird the stuff he didn’t know…like the Simpsons or the Moon Landing happening. After the military, he got his PhD in physics and now works for NASA.
The Amish are faking our space exploits now? Wild world.
Hard to imagine getting a horse-drawn capsule to the moon, I suppose.
It warms my heart to think about radio callers already discussing whether the new TX head coach’s job be in jeopardy for losing to MD today. Hee hee. Texas.
He’s white so he is safe for at least three years.
Now if Charlie Strong started off like this….
I so wish we’d hire Charlie Strong.
Though around here, maybe not.
Fucking rednecks.
We only hire black (basketball) coaches who are morons, so the rednecks can go SEE??111!!
I really hope we’re wrong about Keatts.
But I know we’re not.
Maybe he can get out of town alive if he puts on a Sid Lowe jersey.
Purdue’s mini-Prague Spring appears over
But Western Michigan…
I have to root for Florida St and BYU on the same night? Life is cruel.
Roll Tide.
Couldn’t care less about Big Love v Geaux Tigres
kinda hope LSU is decent so can give RDT a game
Death always to BYU.
*exceptions for ND and U*NC
Hehehehe….Can I slide UMd and ECU in here?
Like they’d be stupid enough to schedule ECU…Only we do that dumb shit.
No, then everyone in the stadium must die in Hellfire.
There are schools that should not fucking exist, BYU, ND, Penn State, and Baylor are the most notorious but hardly alone. A just God doesn’t exist or else they and their entire communities would be wiped from the Earth already.
ROW THE FUCKING BOAT MOTHERFUCKERS COME ON
Also, 7-zip Purdue!
Baylor losing to the Fightin’ Falwells.
Should I get a smoker?
Have you found one you like hanging around outside of a local bar?
Depends on how close your neighbors are. It’s a massive commitment to time and smoke. Also, are you willing to tend a fire at 5 AM?
My neighbor is on the other side of the wall. I doubt they’d reall ymind the occasional session; I think everyone in my neighborhood likes when people are bbqing or smoking.
Also, I am willing to do some 5a tending. I probably am not willing to do such work every 45 minutes for 15 hours, if that is required.
I love how effortlessly Magary has gone full smokeboy.
what’s a smokeboy??
He bought a smoker. So that’s all he do now.
This.
I can’t believe it took him this long.
Watching AppSt (Go tuition moneys!) v UGa…nawt looking good for the Mountaineers of Boone, NC.
I like Happy Appy. A lot actually.
But UGa happens to be my alternate alma mater.
Go Dawgs.
I just made the best tuna sandwich I’ve made in a long time.
Also, I just read that Richard Posner is retiring. Yet Frank Easterbrook (Greggggggg’s even dumber brother) remains on the bench. Goddamnit.
I was reading replies about that photo of Ted Cruz supplicating before Trump like the bootlicking toady he is, and it’s beautiful.
What do you put in your tuna?
/always looking to improve on my tuna salad game
Tomato, celery, salt, pepper, and paprika.
Try a little pickle relish on top of that (2tbsps, give or take).
Gives a little zest.
I always add the pickle relish, sometimes I add some diced jalapenos.
Nice.
Looks like a flipping night betwixt Jays/Os and Tide/’Noles.
Time to drink (moar) heavily.
Seems like other Donks fans all hate the Brock Lobster news, too.
PLEASE GOD, stay well, Trevor Siemian.
I bet that’s a sentence you never expected to say.
These are indeed dark times.