Your Second Slate of NFL Games Open Thread

The Cowboys/Broncos tilt is far and away the best game available here but I might sneak in some Jets/Raiders action when no one is looking. TO THE GAMES!

Mia/LAC: The Fins finally get a game under their collective belts and I can stuff some Ajayi into my lineup. The Clips lost pg Chris Paul and it showed last week. The good news is that te Blake Griffin was signed in the off-season and continues his stand out play. Did you know that he once played basketball? I’m surprised that announcers haven’t pointed that out very often.

NYJ/Oak: The Jets get to travel all the way out to the west coast to pick up their second L of this young season when they could be doing the very same thing much closer to home and those that pretend to love them. Damn you, NFL schedule-makers! Not going to lie-I’m thinking seriously of taking a year off work and coming back where I left off. I call it “The Lynch Stratagem”.

Dal/Den: Is the Broncs run D improved enough to limit Zeke to under 100 yards? Melvin Gordon and his 3 yards a carry nods knowingly. It seems as though Dez struggles mightily against above average cb’s and that’s where Chris Harris comes in. And don’t kid yourself, the Cowboys D is not nearly as dominant as it seemed against the [spits on ground] Giants O. Denver in a squeaker?

Was/LAR: The biggest surprise last week had to be the way the Rams blew the doors off the Colts. It’s very strange to see a perennial also-ran step on the throat of another team and refuse to let them back up. Goff and Kupp impressed but the jury is still out on rb Gurley, what with that whole 19 carries for 40 yards albatross around his neck.

SF/Sea: The only way the Niners have a puncher’s chance at this one is to feed rb Hyde far more than the measly 15 times they did last week against Carolina. There’s just so much more talent wearing the green and whatever.

Get with the typing, fellas.

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Wakezilla

Today,, the Future Ice Raiders have scored as many as the 49ers, Bengals, Panthers and Vikings and more than the Bears, Bills and Bengals

King Hippo

goddamnit, Talib. NO LETTING UP!!

Beerguyrob

I have sat in my seat extra time to fyall my beers. I regret nothing.

Horatio Cornblower

fyall?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

fyou too, buddy?

/plea2e excuse me, I made myself take shots when the Raiders did good things on offense.

King Hippo

beer makes FOAR good

Duchess

I am so conflicted. I like seeing the Rams lose, but I don’t like seeing the Goskins win.

montythisseemsstrangetome

Rams losing trumps all

King Hippo

Trump losing would RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!! FOAR ALL

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

THIS GUY JARED GOFF I CALL HIM JARED GOLF CAUSE HE JUST TEED IT UP FOR THE REDACTEDS.

Horatio Cornblower

Ezekiel Elliott seems like kind of a dick.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Seems? Damn you and your legalese. Your honor, my client seems innocent.

Wakezilla

Looks like Jared Goff’d it up.

/was about to type this joke in before the snap

King Hippo

are we back to Baby Buster?

King Hippo
Wakezilla

Future Ice Raiders with the dreaded 5 goal lead over Ice Liouns.

herodotus450

Hockey? Hockey’s back? Hockey!

Horatio Cornblower

I see I put the Cowboys game on just in time to see BLEERGH storm in on his chariot made of shit.

King Hippo

Double J sent out the bat signal

Beastmode Ate My Baby

Well, the Seahawks won…?!!

Wakezilla

The audience sure didn’t

Duchess

i didnt watch so I guess I am the real winner!

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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King Hippo

I sure did not expect a ‘dacteds pass there

WCS

The Ol’ Double J dudn’t look happy.

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Sharkbait

Sad Jerrah face is almost as delicious as Manning face

Wakezilla

Given his reputation and leaked photos, I was surprised to find out ol Jerral is still married to the same woman for 50 years. He must have a prenupt

Shogun Marcus

I MAY BE CRAZY, BUT I GOT PEOPLE KEEPING THE MONEY SAFE! YEEE-HAW WHERE’S MY STAINED GLASS BATHROBE?

Shogun Marcus

Hearing Romo earlier today just makes Troy’s CTE stand out so much more.

Horatio Cornblower

I’ve always found Troy surprisingly coherent given his history but there’s no way that’s going to last. He’ll be in Simms territory eventually.

Shogun Marcus

It’s a deevolution chart in real-time.

Wakezilla

Hot taek: Reduce the 40 second play clock to 25 seconds

King Hippo

me too

King Hippo

well, season’s over

blaxabbath

With the popularity of the spread offense in college, are we getting historically good linebackers and DBs out of college?

laserguru

or because of the popularity of the spread offense we are getting historically bad O linemen.

King Hippo

very much this

Smithchez

If I were the NFL and the NFLPA I’d make it a point to the NCAA, college coaches, and recruits that you want a Pro-Style emphasis and will (with exceptions of course) prioritize those players in the draft. There are far too many gimmicky offenses that do nothing other than make the coach look good when he’s embarrassing Midwestern Tennessee State Southeast Tech with his mutated wildcat.

herodotus450

From my half assed observation, it’s too hard to teach and coach-up pro style offenses with the limited talent and practice time of college. And then it just takes one coach to go spread and dominate and then what choice do you have.

Smithchez

Honestly, and this would never ever happen, but I think they need to just contract about twenty or so programs from division 1 if not more. The talent pool is spread far too thin. Step two would be an income/cut of the program’s profits for the players so that if they’re well advised and know they’ll likely never make it to the pros they’ve at least made some money for their trouble. They could even convert the pay toward scholarships for continued education for those players.

This way you get far more NFL-level prospects in better programs to be properly coached on technique.

Wakezilla

I’d say we’re getting smaller and faster linebackers

WCS

When did John Elway start referring to himself as “Trevor Simien”?

Dick E. Phuck

So that people stop calling him Colt McCoy

laserguru

Today hasn’t been a total loss. The enchiladas were mighty tasty and the lovable Cubbies of Wrigleyville were nice enough to help send the baseball Cardinals to a nice early off-season with the sweep!

Small victories.

blaxabbath

BFIB

WCS

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The outcome was decided the moment anyone named “Case” gets a start.

laserguru

Here fucking here!

montythisseemsstrangetome

You’re welcome for the Cubs sweep. ?

King Hippo

They can’t cover for shit

King Hippo

CJ!

Beerguyrob

The Seahawks have no business winning this game. I think they are only ahead so I can continue to enjoy my remaining beer.

Wakezilla

Wilson with some great skill stick moves there. Course, if he doesn’t press the left trigger stick there, he’d be dead.

montythisseemsstrangetome

Since I obviously haven’t been paying attention, whatever happened to Bridgewater? Vikes are all in on Bradford now?

The Maestro

Bridgewater is probably dead. Vikes had no choice but to go all in on the man.

laserguru

Teddy is ahead of schedule but on the PUP list. Maybe week 7.

King Hippo

still on PUP list

Wakezilla

Still recovering from the injury that almost saw him need to get his leg amputated.

blaxabbath

They shoulda just cut it off so he could get back out there!

King Hippo

We coulda called him Hoppy!

Romonobyl

Halftime means the fucking grass won’t cut itself. Gotta get this shit done before getting the old knee carved up. I’m gonna milk that downtime like a bitch! Better extend the recording time, but I doubt I’ll wanna watch it.

King Hippo

SeaTruthers will InfoWars this one out, it seems

Dick E. Phuck

They’re breaking the conditioning

Wakezilla

well, they’re currently in good field goal position

herodotus450

So who did the bears get in return for trading Cutler?

montythisseemsstrangetome

A water jug and a couple packs of cigs.

Wakezilla

Miami’s vaccines

Wakezilla

Internet crapped out with 2 minutes left in the LOLphins/Clippers game. Fuck me.

Dick E. Phuck

I love the fact that Dean Spanos has to eat shit for this.

herodotus450

Hoyer with a qb rating of 44. He could probably just take a knee on every play from now on and it will go up.

Spur

Where is your God now Rivers?

King Hippo

and they miss anyway

King Hippo

Miami saves Shitty Clippers from selves.

Beerguyrob

9-6 Niners. I may not escape alive. #openthread

Dick E. Phuck

How are the Seahawks THIS bad???

Spur

Chemtrails from the Boeing factory is making them weak.

blaxabbath

I’m at El Paso airport.

Dick E. Phuck

How’s that? I’ve never been.

blaxabbath

I’m a trend setter

montythisseemsstrangetome

OH GOD THAT’S TERRIBLE

Romonobyl

Get ready for lots o’ border patrol. Juarez is a shithole.

montythisseemsstrangetome

Guess who had tickets to last night’s Beck/U2 show in StL? ?

Dick E. Phuck

Your Mom?

montythisseemsstrangetome

Nah, she’s more of a Dave Clark Five kind of person.

Romonobyl

The next fanbase that does the IN-COM-PLETE chant deserves a flyby from an AC-130 (google it).

King Hippo

Shitty Clippers gonna be in FG range

Spur

Alright, Cowboys needed that.

Brick Meathook

The ref just charged a time-out to San Diego

montythisseemsstrangetome

Buck and Aikman still suck, so there’s some comfort there.

Spur

can we exchange that catch for the one in Green Bay?

King Hippo

Christ on a cracker, these booth reviews are some bullshit today