“Umm, you aren’t beerguyrob” Saturday night’s Open Thread.

 

Good evening everyone it is I the substitute for Beerguyrodrigo who I believe is currently running bootleg jeans down to America. I hope he doesn’t get busted and will send me some candycorn m&m’s for me to do a Baking with Litre post. For those of you who just come to the fair city during footbaw season you may be wondering what the hell does this guy have to say? Will there be stoner talk? Maybe. Wine talk? Hell yeah. Plus I will try to fill in with the sportsing  as best as I can which really isn’t important as Ratbirds v Jaguras is on 1st thing in the morning tomorrow. I promise no futbol chat for once.

Image from Etsy.

As some of you may know, legalization is coming next year up here countrywide and things are going to change a lot. It seems that the provinces are deciding how they distribute it and each province will have a different policy. Ontario has come out and said they will not privatize the sales and it will all be done through a government store, like their alcohol sales are. Both federal and provincial governments will tax it and be the sole legal distributor of the sticky icky apart from medicinal users who can still get it by mail. There is a few problems with this policy that jump to mind. First of all, Ontario is going to start out with only 40 dispensaries for the whole province. Your geography may not be up to snuff on Canadian provinces but Ontario is huge and this is not nearly enough coverage for that many people in that big of a landmass. Second thing that springs to mind is their pricing and how they are going to be competitive with the black market if they tax the hell out of the stuff. My medicinal pricing is on par with what I used to get from my guy Chad (seriously), but with Chad for Green (in my phone) I was getting strains of weed without knowing their potency. Now I have become very aware the percentages of THC and CBD as the strains with super high THC sketch me out a bit so I order accordingly. In my mind the provincial governments up here should take a page out of Denver’s book when recreational consumption was legalized. When I visited Denver after legalization it was a great setup everywhere I went. Security was high (heh) in these places and there was security everywhere. I am sure there are cons to the system which one of our Colorado DFOers are more than welcome to point out below. It was privatised but the government still got their cut so everyone involved was pleased, consumer, dispensary, and government. I will continue to order my medicinal through the mail because I have to do very little and it comes directly to my door with my mailman. 

 

Most of you who tune in during the offseason will know that I am a wine guy as well as a medicinal marijuana user (double threat). Well the seasons are changing and as are my wine drinking habits. My ritual on Thursday in the fall is to grab a bottle of red , fire on the interwebs and watch the coloUr rush game until my eyes bleed. Summer has passed and it is starting to get chilly up here so white and roses just will not do. Last time I did this I spoke about trends and how certain regions and grape varietals come and go. As of right now the popular red varietal is Malbec and the region is Mendoza, Argentina. If you like this variety (I don’t) definitely buy stuff from Argentina as the plantings elsewhere haven’t had the time for the vines to mature enough. If you are wondering about French Malbec it is something that you would rarely by itself due to French wine laws. In France Malbec is predominantly used for blending in Rhone. This time of year I gravitate towards Pinot Noirs from Oregon, or Merlots from Washington as those regions are closest to me here and the quality is phenomenal. Later in the season I get into bigger red when the snow is outside and it is -20 degrees. As for value this time of year I look to Spain and Rioja’s little brother Navarra as they still use the same 2 grapes Grenache and Tempranillo but the are a lot cheaper and are still great quality. 

 

On to the sportsing!

 

College Football: Times are whatever you see on the screen in front of you when you look it up.

Irish v Michigan St FOX

Washington at Colorado FS1

UCLA at Stanford ESPN

Also Hawaii at Wyoming! Go CowboUys! ESPN 2

 

There still is baseball games going on and Bumgarner is on the bump against the Dodgers so there is that.

There is Ice Football Preseason but the kids are still all playing so it isn’t worth your time. READ A BOOK WILL YOU!

In soccer there are some MLS games if you are so inclined. (not futbol)

There is a CFL game but nobody up here will be watching it either. Toronto v Montreal.

 

Remember if you are in a restaurant/winebar/lounge/Tomsula’s boxcar that house wine is the money maker for the house and the next couple of cheaper glasses are great value as they are trying to get rid of that wine.

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litre_cola
- A pugs best friend. - Wine drinker. - Loves to use the letter U behind O. - Iggles fan, Fulham FC (Mighty Whitey) supporter, Cavalry FC Ultra. - One of the resident futbol freaks at the clubhouse.
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JustStopDude

The proper way to greet someone that is cool with being associated with pedophilia…

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King Hippo

methinks tWBS has to like MD now

theeWeeBabySeamus

Meh. Woulda been a good day foar a meteor.

Romonobyl

Only if it’s nice and cold.

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herodotus450

PFTC would be disgusted. Blue Raspberry? C’mon.

WCS

8-7 Pedo State in a barn-burner. Because you want to commit arson trying to watch it.

LemonJello

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Romonobyl

Improper PPE, 3/10 WNB.

LemonJello

Gus Johnson the only thing keeping me watching this crusade against the Spartans.

JustStopDude

I would argue that Gus is the single best College and NFL announcer there is. He is knowledgeable and can make almost any game entertaining.

herodotus450

He does basketedball too right? So he’s got two sports locked up.

King Hippo

His pairings with Bill Raftery are sublime.

herodotus450

Put him in a blazer and he’ll have soccer wrapped up.

King Hippo

He has indeed tried that. Wasn’t particularly good. Enthusiastic, of course.

herodotus450

I bet he could make this more interesting:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8vq7GxCg2o

Spur

Who’s our Pac 10 after dark game?

King Hippo

Washington/CO (10, FS1) and Stanford/UCLA (10:30, ESPN)

Spur

Huskies/Buffs might be LIT.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh Sparty.

LemonJello

MichSt coming up with all sorts of ways to shit away this game…

Spur

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LemonJello

You’d think the entire Spartan roster was made up of degenerates, sodomites and heathens with all the breaks the Golden Boners are getting

Spur

Let’s be real Penn State football shouldn’t exist.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

We should only call it the (Un)Happy (Ending) Valley

May need to keep workshopping that

Unsurprised

Happy (To Rape Children and Cover It Up) Valley

Horatio Cornblower

Happy To Nuke This Valley And Every Motherfucker In It

Romonobyl

I think State Penn football would be more appropriate.

Horatio Cornblower

Penn State being allowed to continue their football program is proof positive that the NCAA will never, ever, enact the Death Penalty again, and that’s why shit like what’s going on at Baylor will continue to go on. As long as you have a big-time program you’ll always have more than enough rich shitheads who are willing to donate big bucks so that they can get a good parking spot near the tailgate lot in the desperate hope that some drunk coed will blow them after a few too many Red Bull ‘n Vodkas, so you can always bounce back from your meaningless punishment for covering up a decade of child rape.

Fuck all of these people with a red hot poker.

Spur

I saw ESPN made a big celebration about Iowa waving to the sick kids. Even my sarcastic ass thinks it’s a great new tradition but kids and Penn State don’t mix.

LemonJello

/Ignores everything you just said
“I think it’s great too, we should do that in Happy Valley!”
-J. Paterno

King Hippo

The sick ones won’t testify later, everybody wins!

herodotus450

Iowa rusher has 10 attemps for 0 yards.

WCS

“Impressive production!” —
Trent Richardson

Romonobyl

You’ll miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Or the ones you do…WTF ever.

Spur

yo

BrettFavresColonoscopy

sup

Romonobyl

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herodotus450

Mayfield got an unsportsmanlike penalty? That doesn’t sound right. Next you’re gonna tell me Michael Vick doesn’t like dogs. Or Kellen Clemens really likes dogs. Hot dogs that is.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

May I ask, where does the “450” in your name come from?

herodotus450

On account of this 7-5 football “game,” PSU and Iowa should both be disqaulified from college football for the rest of the season.

LemonJello

“7 to 5?” *cums*
-J Sandusky

King Hippo

I must say some mighty odd prime time scheduling decisions were made by both Fox and ABC

LemonJello

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Seems to sum up a lot of the games today.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

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Horatio Cornblower

I had a burger for lunch today that looked a lot like that, (although with avocado and a fried egg, neither of which could be seen through the cheese); it was delicious and I haven’t eaten anything aside from movie popcorn since.

theeWeeBabySeamus

How ’bout ‘dem Dawgs.

King Hippo

Twas not much of an Ookie-worthy Dawg fight

theeWeeBabySeamus

The Starkville pups seem a li’l slow, huh?

LemonJello

Woof.
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herodotus450

Based on theses jerseys, are we sure that this isn’t really Oregon and not Baylor? Not sure if that would make the game more shocking or less.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

Litre, were you smoking or drinking when you forgot to put the footy tips in?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

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WCS

BayBay now up, 31-28.

King Hippo

watch this be their only win of the season. THIS IS WHY YOU CAN’T HAVE NICE THINGS, Boomer Sooner.

/that and playing UT at 11am, and always showing up hungover

WCS

That would be a very Big 12 thing to do to shoot itself in the dick. Again.

King Hippo

That would turn the folks of Stillwater on, if they weren’t still blacked out from earlier today

King Hippo

Damned shame, though. Tis a genuinely entertaining JV league

LemonJello

THAT is nawt how you beat the Golden Boners, Sparty!

WCS

The JV not-Stillers just took the lead on Ped State, 7-er…. 5

laserguru

As a former resident of the state of Iowa I can safely say I’ve never seen a night game from Iowa City. Them farmers are gonna be plumb tuckered out when the milk the chickens tomorrow.

King Hippo

them cows won’t even so much as get a kiss good night, either smh

ballsofsteelandfury

Just visited a distributor to get Spanish meats, cheeses, and wines. Dropped a load but I’ll be eating well for at least a month.

Northern Spain wine is underrated.

LemonJello

Sounds more liek a German place to me…

ballsofsteelandfury

any hampers?

– N. Davenport

laserguru

Hope you got some Iberian ham. That shit is delightful.

ballsofsteelandfury

plenty!

herodotus450

Pay no attention to this comment.

WCS

Let’s have a live look-in at Boomer Sooner’s execution:

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King Hippo

BayBay’s 3 losses? Home to Liberty, Texas-San Antonio, at Duke.

herodotus450

3 Safeties in one day? And i bet that’s still 10 shy of the record.

herodotus450

Too bad that ball wasn’t some coed’s unprotected drink or he would have cvaught it!
/Only aware of the broad strokes of the whole baylor thing

Horatio Cornblower

Rape, cover up, get caught, apologize/swear it won’t happen again, wash, rinse, repeat.

LemonJello

Oof. Just switched over to see the score of MissSt/Jawja.
http://getyourdailyspanking.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/10/kinky-spanking.gif

WCS

BayBay is hanging around with Boomer Sooner.

WCS

Just tied it at 28.

LemonJello

Okie really needs to impose their will on those bears, I mean really just do whatever they want without Baylor’s consent.

King Hippo

The entire state of Okiehoma apparently took the day off to focus they energies on steer-fucking, it would seem. They sure as shit done forgot about footbaw.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

Finally going to do something about those snakes in his boots, I see.

WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

fourth wall breaking at its finest

Horatio Cornblower

One of the finest scenes in the history of cinema.

Spanky Datass

I bought a bag of grapes yesterday. Today? Fruit fly infestation! I’m seriously considering the nuclear option. FUCK!
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Romonobyl

Good luck with that, I’m still having problems. A little apple cider vinegar in the sink drains at night helps a little.

Spanky Datass

The hateful little fuckers keep hovering over my bourble glass. SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!!!1!

King Hippo

you have to break the seal on the cider vinegar (or the red wine) with a drop of dish soap. That is the key. Do that and #FruitFlyHolocaust in no time.

My asshole kids have left (i) an old banana; then (ii) a half-eaten Subway abortion in dumbass places in my old house. Twas 3 stories. I killed ’em all. Bout drove me nuts.

LemonJello

I hope the statute of limitations on said murder of your children has expired…

King Hippo

I would have been too obvious the perpetrator.

Senor Weaselo

If 7th grade science reminds me, cloves work too.

blaxabbath

In like a bowl? Or just the vinegar jug? I have so many fucking flies to kill.

King Hippo

Nah, you need to fill lots of coffee mugs half full of the cider vinegar and spread them around the heaviest populated areas. Especially by the kitchen sink, for some reason.

I had a bunch of semi-fancy “FOAR company” ones that I never used, they became my little ovens of death.

herodotus450

If I’m ever on a jury for your eventual mental break and spree, I will NAWT let them convict on account of the phrase “little ovens of death.” Mistrial baby!

Spanky Datass

I have a tall, slinder jar with about an inch of red wine and a few drops of dish soap in the bottom with a funnel on the top sitting next to the kitchen sinks. No confirmed kills yet but I’m hoping for carnage by morning.

King Hippo

dead fruit flies are like the BEST FEELING in the entire world. Sex doesn’t even come close.

/may not have been that good at sex, now that I think about it

Horatio Cornblower

“I killed ’em all. ”

The fruit flies or the kids? Frankly both options seem justified.

Shogun Marcus

Today: swelter in small church most of day for funeral.
Tomorrow: laundromat, followed by whatever to keep missus from going psychotic on the populace. With luck, watch most of game.
Monday: well, you know.
/feebly raises devil horns, lifts shirt, and whispers Spring Break.
//passes out

blaxabbath

The President can brag all he wants about his financial empire. I’ve never seen a familiy who behaves as fucking new money as the Trumps.

LemonJello

That’s very apt.
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blaxabbath

Seriously – I’m pretty apolitical overall but, fuck man, if you’re gonna tell me how rich you are, act like you’ve been there before.

Romonobyl

Can you still get legally married?

King Hippo

He’s managed to make ROGER GOODELL seem dignified and above the fray today. Have a fucking word, dipshit.

LemonJello

Shot of Georgia fans/students taking a page from the Raiders’ book and going with a “Red Hole” motif?

herodotus450

The red hole method let’s you stay pure before marriage, god bless, ppl forget.

Senor Weaselo

Pictured: Senor, Horatio, Fronkensteen, possibly others?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYtjpIwamos

Brocky

That moment when I wish I was Charlie, but then quietly admit to myself that I’m more like Dennis,

Psychopathic ambiguity and all

King Hippo

SAME

/without the handsome, charming, having sex part

JustStopDude

I just drunk made some chicken green curry…

I will regret it in the morning…but I don’t care…its good!

Brocky

I’ve always been somewhat fascinated by drunken cooking,

Something that theoretically requires concentration essentially is relatively unaffected by inebriation

Romonobyl

Until you burn the fuck outta yourself. I still have scars, physical and emotional.

laserguru

When I really stated getting into cooking I came up with what, I thought, was a great idea for a cooking show called “Drunken Chef.” I would host and would start cooking while drinking.

Might want to have an EMT standing by.

herodotus450
Romonobyl

So you gotta problem with quantity over quality?

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LemonJello

What a savage. Doesn’t even have the spigot pinkie extended. smh.

JustStopDude

Miss State just didn’t bother to show the fuck up.

Funny weed story. I was doing a job on tobacco road. Basically cig production is fully automated. We actually got a big contract with them where we basically set up their line to do full weed production in the future. Basically we have it set up that if the Fed’s legalize it on a national level, it would take about 3 days before every gas station in the US has weed.

I’ve told everyone with money in dispensaries that their investment is kind of not certain at all.

LemonJello

Any insight into why Big Tobacco hasn’t started lobbying Congress for federal legalization?

JustStopDude

Honestly, I think after the whole fiasco with tobacco lawsuits and shits, where a lot of states have won, Big Tobacco is just doing a wait and see sort of thing.

They are prepped to just flood the market. They can deliver marijuana smokes at whatever is the legal THC limit, with almost perfect quality assurance.

Dispensaries will be way more expensive for the same delivery, with no real quality control. Its not a big issue now…because they aren’t facing the competition.

Its like comparing tobacco shops with gas station distributions. I don’t know about other smokers, but I just grab my camels at the gas station.

LemonJello

So, we’re hoping Sparty whips the ever-lovin’ dogshit out of the Potato Famine, right?

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Brocky

I don’t want msu to spank Notre dame…..

I want sparty to put Notre dame on a scissor lift in dangerously high wind conditions

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Kangaroo Mime?

Romonobyl

I didn’t know ‘roos were raptors.

LemonJello

“Excuse me, mate. Do you have a moment to talk about Kunapipi, our true goddess?”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450
Horatio Cornblower

I was in the room working while my daughter was watching this episode.

The awkwardness was off the goddamn charts.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

Good evening, Imaginary Internet Friends.
As I have zero experience/knowledge of the sticky icky, I’ll just provide this:
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Dolph Ucker

Washington’s recreational has been working out pretty well, as far as I can tell. The prices were high at first, but they have stabilized at a rate that is a little higher than I used to get for backdoor, grab-bag, medical redistributed stuff. It’s not that much different from what I used to get from waitress Kym and her biker boyfriend back in 1983. The big difference is that, back then, it was a lot of shake and stems, with the occasional seed thrown in. Made it easier to roll (remember rolling?) but the quality was doubtful. Still, was pretty happy then. Happier now.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Checking in all the way from Singapore just to ask: so it turned out that someone actually could save you from Kym the Waitress? And it turned out to be the government?

Dolph Ucker

Truthfully, she’s a little blurry in my memory now. And the government has always been a little blurry.
I happened to be in Singapore the night that the Hard Rock Cafe opened there (1990?). I was in the AF back then and we were hauling Dan Quayle’s limos and White House comm guys around on his trip down under. Biggest memory of that was staying in the Westin Stamford Hotel on the 78th floor and going out on my tiny balcony about a mile above street level. Normally, I like heights but that was sobering.

Wakezilla

Litre, you should try BC wine. It’s really good and better than Husky and Duck wine

/usually only drinks Italian or French.

I think it was Horatio who was going to watch IT tonight. Horatio, If you watch IT first, you might be in for a freaky night:

https://www.google.ca/amp/s/www.vice.com/amp/en_ca/article/j5g5v3/people-want-to-fuck-the-clown-from-it

Senor Weaselo

Goddammit, Rule 34.

LemonJello

Good jorb, Quart_Soda!

JustStopDude

Colorado has a mess on their hands because literally there is no control as to where a dispensary can be placed. Its nice to get that tax money, but when you kid has to walk past 3 dispensaries on a two block walk from the bus stop, that is a bit annoying.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And everything is in cash

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