Welcome back to the full monty of Lesser Footy, no more international break silliness.  HAHAHAHAHAHA, losing at home to Trinidad and Tobago, USMNT.  Have a fucking word.

It’s the battle of annoying, evil arsehole red-clad sides to start things off, with semi-struggling Liverpool hosting 2nd on goal differential United (7:30, NBCSN).  It’s worth waking up for, but I won’t out of raw spite.  My hatred fuels me like a nuclear fission furnace.

Crystal Palace’s snuff film parade continues in the 10:00 window, again on national TV, this time against defending champion Chelsea (NBCSN).  But at least they are at home this week?  CNBC gets Spurs v. Cherries, which is at least moderately more interesting.  Burnley/West Ham is probably the best option amongst the paid package/dodgy Middle Eastern stream games.

5th position Arsenal and 8th position Watford get the spotlight dance, a decent fixture that interferes with my JV NFL.  Too bad, as I want to see how the Moose Hornets rebound from their drubbing two weeks ago.

Sunday provides a meh double-dip, with no sides in the Top 8.  First, desperate Everton visit the Seagull/Albion of Brighton & Hove (8:30, NBCSN), desperate for any kind of goal scoring and/or positive momentum.  Second, the Barcodes invade a similarly adrift Soton side looking for answers (11:00, NBCSN).  What happened to those steady columns of “surely no less than Top 10?”  Fuck if I know.

NC State at Pittsburgh (12:00, ACCN)

OK, I finally have to homer preview.  State’s impressive, team performance against Louisville deserves it.  Should the all-of-a-sudden-not-shitty wolves triumph over a wet fart Panthers side, ironclad control of the ACC Atlantic Division would be at stake on 4 November in Raleigh.  And in the (in my opinion likely, based on matchups) event State also wins in South Bend on 28 October (after a bye week), then I believe we would host ESPN Gameday for the first time EVAR, IIRC.  Please don’t fuck up.

TCU at Kansas State (12:00 FS1)

Bloodeyes carry the Big 12-ish unbeaten banner, and “trap game” couldn’t be in more flashing neon.  This one will be bloody as fuck, in MOAR orifices than just eyeballs.

Texas Tech at West By God Virginia (12:00, ESPNU)

Not particularly important in the grander scheme of things, just good old-fashioned madcap fun.  Why is all this good shit in the window I have to watch NC State/Pitt?

Auburn at LSU (3:30, CBS)

Good thing it just means MOAR, otherwise I would say this “game of the week” looks like a painful slog in the mud to me.

Georgia Tech at Miami (3:30, ABC)

Just so everyone gets the memo, Da U ain’t Da Good.  Don’t be surprised if the Bees win.

Oklahoma v. Texas @ Cotton Bowl (3:30, ESPN)

Hey, looky there!  No 11:00am local kickoff this go-round.  Perhaps Boomer Sooner was tired of playing hungover and losing as a 20+ favourite every goddamned season.  And oh my, they gon’ be mad and hopefully take it out on TX.

Texas A&M at Florida (7:00, ESPN2)

Battle to maintain SEC/national relevance, after losing big games last week.  Classic offense v. defense showdown.  I have an Aggies feeling.

Utah at Southern Cal (8:00, ABC)

This matchup looked much cooler before Team Secular Big Love lost at home to Stanford last week.  Still, a physical defensive side that could frustrate the Troi Boiz.  Plus, the night slate is slim pickins.

Boise State at San Diego State (10:30, CBSSN)

Expand your horizons a bit for your tweaker matchup, as the Aztecs could perhaps run the table if they get past Boise.

Oregon at Stanford (11:00, FS1)

Or don’t, and watch the quack attack take on the re-relevant Trees, fresh off their upset of Utah.  Points for everyone!