Your Sunday Morning/Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Yeah, I might as well acknowledge you folks out west for once. But only just this once! These football-specific threads are always good for several hundred comments but I must tell you, the Saturday JV football/Footy thread is coming along quite nicely. Yesterday was hilarious on many fronts. All Hail King Hippo! and his gracious hosting-ness. Seriously, if you find yourself doing not much more than scratching your balls, you should have a look-see. As for today we must, as always, go… TO THE GAMES!

SF/Was: The Neeners are looking for the upset on the road that isn’t going to happen. Perchance they can take advantage of Dacteds cb Norman not being available. Just kidding-that would require competent play from one Bobby Hoying. That guy on the end of my fantasy bench gets his first call. Rook rb Perine will get the majority of the carries with Kelley out.

Chi/Bal: The Truth Biscuit era begins its second week. Those that dare to watch can tell their bored-to-death grandkids that they were there. I’ve a notion that the Ravens D will be dialing up more than a few looks that will confuse the youngster. Bally ftw.

Cle/Hou: (“They don’t pay me enough to do some of these game intros!”) Guh. Where are we? Right. This could have been a battle of  the “How To Spell Your Qb’s First Name” but Kevin Hogan had to stick his nose in and ruin everything. HC Jackson, in his finite wisdom has decided that benching rook Kizer gives his team the best opportunity to ‘win’.

Mia/Atl: The Falcons have a shot at putting a bit of distance between themselves and Carolina in the NFC South today after booting their game vs. the Bills last week. That high-powered offense you keep reading about has only scored 15 more points than the D has given up. Miami? The most they’ve scored in a game this year is a measly 20.

Det/NO: The Saints have settled quite nicely into their inevitable 8-8 season by going 2-2 so far. You know the old saw-“You win some, you lose some, on alternating weeks for the duration of the season”. Puffy McStuffingface has actually thrown for one more TD (11) than the sentient robot arm that belongs to Drew Brees.

GB/Min: What is Aaron Rodgers going to do this week? I’ve no idea but I think the Packers are my new favourite one-man team.

NE/NYJ: The Jets are battling for first place six weeks into the season?! (“Try to use your words, scotchy”) I…this…NO!… (“Goddamnit!”) A certain Pats wr by the name of Chris Hogan has already surpassed his previous season-high for TD’s. He’s got 5 after just five games.

That’s all he wrote. Get crackin’, boys!

 

 

 

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello

[*Redacted] s manage to shit the bed, but not bad enough to lose.

I’ll be on the road for the next game, Imaginary Internet Friends, but I plan to rejoin you for the last game of the evening.

Later, Taters!
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Petronel

And that’s it. Two points.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Spank my ass and call me Charlie no way did I think the Bears would pull that out

Brocky

Better bend the fuck over Charlie, here I come!

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WCS

So, A.A.Ron has a broken collarbone. It’s tough to put on ass-less chaps with just one arm.

LemonJello

He’ll audible to the loincloth.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

PANTS OR CHAPS!

ASS-LESS PANTS ARE CHAPS!!

/sorry

LemonJello

Today’s “Is it a catch?” bought to you by Miller Brewing Co…

Petronel

This might just…happen. MAaaaaybe.

Petronel

I will. I will dare hope that the first Niners game I see this year will be their first…not-loss. Fuggit.

Gratliff

Lions down by 7

Gratliff

SKINS DERPING

LemonJello

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King Hippo

Bears 3 and out, Tucker FG, or Truth Biscuit turnover and Tucker FG?

Sharkbait

Catch you all for the late game

Beerguyrob

Well, I’ll see all of you fine folks later tonight. Family function this afternoon, with alcohol so I’m going.

King Hippo

CJ CraigDOWN!!

Petronel

The new celebration rules don’t prohibit goldfish, right?

King Hippo

Good miscellany memory hustle!!

herodotus450

Only in my dreams smh…
(crickets)
Oh, so none of you think power is sexy?

Senor Weaselo
Gratliff

Jesus. 9 minutes to go and the Lions have the ball down 14.

Petronel

Back to three points.

Petronel

Very temporarily.

Redshirt

I’m surprised the refs didn’t rule that a backwards spike.

Gratliff

Wait. The lions are within 2 score. What the fuck?

Mother Puncher

Saints trying to out Falcon the Falcons

Redshirt

Thank you, CBS. I get to see the end of the Jets Screwjob.

Shogun Marcus

They could start tanking for a decent 1st rou…who am I kidding. Slingblade would trade it for a 3rd, 4th, and three 7s in consecutive years.

Petronel

Well carp.

Shogun Marcus

No, pond. You find the carp in the pond.

Beerguyrob

THIS JUST IN: CHRISTIAN PONDER TO THE PACKERS!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Have you burned out the lolbears tag yet?

Beerguyrob

Still smouldering the LOLJETS

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Triple holding against the Jets, 30 yard penalty…”

Redshirt

“Hyper False Start. Five point penalty, third down.”

King Hippo

Chi****

blaxabbath

So I got a ’99 jeep that I’m finally getting around to updating a bit. I’m thinking of plastidipping the wheels bc they’re alloy and I want to see how black looks before I decide to spend such money. The youtube videos make it looks pretty easy and with good results — anyone done it?

blaxabbath

We all just saw green-haired Jets fan kid, yes?

King Hippo

Brett Hundley is really bad, y’all

Beerguyrob

Packers fan base is now down to four demands:

1. Sign Kaep
2. Beg Romo to leave the booth
3. WHAT’S MATT FLYNN DOING?!
4. Trade for Jay Cutler, since he has the most experience throwing to Packers.

Packers will still magically win that division al a 2013

Redshirt

5. McCarron would look lovely in Green and Yellow.

The Maestro

5. AH BET FAVRE STILL HAS A FEW MORE TEE-DEES LEFT IN THAT THERE ARM O’ HIS, GOTTA LOVE A GUNSLINGER WHO JUST LIKES TUH HAVE FUN OUT THERE

Gratliff

Would be worth it. It feels so long since the last time we all got to spam a live thread with “JUST HAVING FUN OUT THERE” during a multi-pick game.

blaxabbath

Favre

bk109

5. Tebow, because at this point .. why the fuck not…

Redshirt

Is Majkowski still playing?

blaxabbath

Rodgers with a broken collar bone?

ROMO TO GB?

Redshirt

(leaves disposable cell phone)
(runs to Hidden Underground Bunker)
(phones rings)

Uh, guys. The call may be correct. He fumbled on the 1 as he was falling out of bounds. Unless he still had two feet in bounds and nothing out of bounds when he recovered, the ball is out of bounds.

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