Your Sunday Morning/Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Yeah, I might as well acknowledge you folks out west for once. But only just this once! These football-specific threads are always good for several hundred comments but I must tell you, the Saturday JV football/Footy thread is coming along quite nicely. Yesterday was hilarious on many fronts. All Hail King Hippo! and his gracious hosting-ness. Seriously, if you find yourself doing not much more than scratching your balls, you should have a look-see. As for today we must, as always, go… TO THE GAMES!

SF/Was: The Neeners are looking for the upset on the road that isn’t going to happen. Perchance they can take advantage of Dacteds cb Norman not being available. Just kidding-that would require competent play from one Bobby Hoying. That guy on the end of my fantasy bench gets his first call. Rook rb Perine will get the majority of the carries with Kelley out.

Chi/Bal: The Truth Biscuit era begins its second week. Those that dare to watch can tell their bored-to-death grandkids that they were there. I’ve a notion that the Ravens D will be dialing up more than a few looks that will confuse the youngster. Bally ftw.

Cle/Hou: (“They don’t pay me enough to do some of these game intros!”) Guh. Where are we? Right. This could have been a battle of  the “How To Spell Your Qb’s First Name” but Kevin Hogan had to stick his nose in and ruin everything. HC Jackson, in his finite wisdom has decided that benching rook Kizer gives his team the best opportunity to ‘win’.

Mia/Atl: The Falcons have a shot at putting a bit of distance between themselves and Carolina in the NFC South today after booting their game vs. the Bills last week. That high-powered offense you keep reading about has only scored 15 more points than the D has given up. Miami? The most they’ve scored in a game this year is a measly 20.

Det/NO: The Saints have settled quite nicely into their inevitable 8-8 season by going 2-2 so far. You know the old saw-“You win some, you lose some, on alternating weeks for the duration of the season”. Puffy McStuffingface has actually thrown for one more TD (11) than the sentient robot arm that belongs to Drew Brees.

GB/Min: What is Aaron Rodgers going to do this week? I’ve no idea but I think the Packers are my new favourite one-man team.

NE/NYJ: The Jets are battling for first place six weeks into the season?! (“Try to use your words, scotchy”) I…this…NO!… (“Goddamnit!”) A certain Pats wr by the name of Chris Hogan has already surpassed his previous season-high for TD’s. He’s got 5 after just five games.

That’s all he wrote. Get crackin’, boys!

 

 

 

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
670 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Gratliff

Down to 3 in the eliminator.

litre_cola

Fuck Matt Ryan

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I was *SOOOO* close to taking Atlanta this week. Changed at the last minute.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The NFL should know people are losing interest in the “product” isn’t cause of players kneeling during the anthem. It’s cause of shit like that.

blaxabbath

“It’s cuz of kneeling.”

-MAGA folks, between bites of gov’t cheese

blaxabbath

Giants Stadium continues to be a harsh venue for the Jets to play in.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow, I’m sure happy I started Funchess over Kearse.

Dick E. Phuck
Gratliff

Was Kiko attempting to mate there?

Redshirt

Lets see how long it takes NFL Network to show the “fumble”.

Beerguyrob

Is Kevin James back on TV mean we can stop worrying about Kevin James, movie star?

blaxabbath

He’s a Harvey Weinstein creation; I think we should all sleep with one eye open.

Sharkbait

It’s king of queens 2: electric boogaloo

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There’s a director’s cut of that commercial that just consists of the Jets fan kid opening the front door and it’s an NFL official who shoots him in the face.

bk109

Actually it’s Goodell personally kicking him in the nuts.. and then slapping a 4 game ban on him

Redshirt

I didn’t see the play, but if I’m the Jets owner, I would order my team off the field and start a GoFundMe page for the fines and penalties.

Sharkbait

He’s too busy being an ambassador for some fucked up reason

litre_cola

Seriously that was the dumbest call since the tuck rule.

bk109

The Tuck Rule was .. per the rules.. This thing,though.. Seriously, what the fuck?! Did ANYONE ON THIS FUCKING PLANET see a fumble, ’cause I sure as shit didn’t (and I’m biased against … well.. opponents scoring on us)

Sharkbait

I sure as hell didn’t, and I wanted them to not score

Spur

Did Rodgers insure his collarbone with State Farm?

Dick E. Phuck

That is one of the worst calls i’ve ever seen in my life.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It’s the worst that I’ve ever seen, but only because I didn’t see the Tuck Rule happen live.

Can we automate these fucking refs now, fuck these incompetent fucks. Give me the fucking goddamned robots.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They sort of did; the calls are now reviewed “in the New York office.”

Gratliff

That is some fucking horseshit

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m sorry, but that explanation is complete bullshit. THERE WAS NOTHING CONCLUSIVE ABOUT THAT REPLAY.

Spur

what the fuck are these refs thinking?

blaxabbath

Make calls in favor of Nazis if it keeps all of Trump’s Nazi followers from focusing their ire on these refs?

King Hippo

conclusive as to what the League office wanted

Senor Weaselo

Where did he lose the football? And the call got overturned.

The Maestro

FUCKING LOL

THE DEAL WITH THE DEVIL PAYS OFF ONCE MOAR

blaxabbath

Not starting Hyde was a poor decision.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not Fair League.

Gratliff

What the fuck, Jets

King Hippo

How is there not a riot?

bk109

Give it five minutes to sink in…

Gratliff

It is almost jarring to see a Black QB for Green Bay. I wonder how much hate mail the office will get because of it.

Beerguyrob

If they go with the black guy they drafted, not much.

If they sign an available black guy who kneels, fucktons.

Shogun Marcus

If either wins, none.

Dick E. Phuck

Trying to beat the Patriots, can’t have any of that.

Petronel

Three-point-loss problem solved.

King Hippo

WHAT????

What the fuck

Gratliff

I’m sorry

Shogun Marcus

Hund-leys eyes,
One look at you and he can’t disguise…

Smithchez

Yeah, this game is absolutely rigged. I’ve never seen a call overturned like that.

bk109

I’m a Pats fan (I’ve got redeeming qualities), but that call was pure fucking bullshit! It was a TD fair and square!

Senor Weaselo

Wait… they called that a fumble through the end zone?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That call was more unfair than the Tuck Rule call.

bk109

HOW THE FUCK WAS THAT NOT A JETS TOUCHDOWN!?

litre_cola

Fumbre for fumbreGod

Dick E. Phuck

Baltimore should go back to it’s roots:
[Team gets moved back to Cleveland]

theeWeeBabySeamus

I don’t want to wish injury on Kirk Cousins, but I need him to stop now.
Maybe I’ll wish a really bad case of the shits on him. Yeah that would work.
/throw handful of coins in fountain

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey that’s timely defensin’ Niners. Thank you.

Brocky

Don’t you get it? My success in the dfo league is God’s ultimate irony

Gratliff

Sweet Jesus. The AFC North is the hottest fucking garbage

Petronel

Yep, the Rodgers injury update on the scroll is definitely “breaking news”.

Redshirt

“Oh, God. What did Trump do know?!”

Spur

Da BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

King Hippo

Holy fuck, Miami actually gonna WIN? Go home Falcons, YOU’RE DRUNK

litre_cola

Makes the Iggles the class of the NFC if so.

Well what do you know throwing against the Greatriots was effective. Let’s run the ball with Forte the next drive for shits and giggles.

Gratliff

The Jets’ long term strategy of waiting for all the great Pats players to get old is paying dividends

King Hippo

The Jets always go back to Forte. It is written.

King Hippo

Go FG, Ratbirds

litre_cola

I would like to see you get hurt Aikman. Don’t say we don’t want to see any stars get hurt, I do.

Senor Weaselo

Two defensive holdings against the P*ts? Is it the apocalypse already?

herodotus450

Rodgers injured; I assume I’m the first to suggest Romo be his fill in? Claviclor must be FED!

King Hippo

Keep bleeding clock so Dreamboat scores NO MOAR

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m gonna give you the FDR treatment and double wish against your wish.

Shogun Marcus

I’m out of eyelashes.

Brocky

…..Cutler just holds onto the ball too long, our offensive is decent….

theeWeeBabySeamus

McCown, with an incompletion to the side judge.
Close though.

King Hippo

Truth Biscuit…gettin’ leaky

Senor Weaselo

Is he leaky from the tittay kissin’?

King Hippo

Hey, I’m 44 it wud get me leaky no ofence

LemonJello

comment image?impolicy=desktop