Yeah, I might as well acknowledge you folks out west for once. But only just this once! These football-specific threads are always good for several hundred comments but I must tell you, the Saturday JV football/Footy thread is coming along quite nicely. Yesterday was hilarious on many fronts. All Hail King Hippo! and his gracious hosting-ness. Seriously, if you find yourself doing not much more than scratching your balls, you should have a look-see. As for today we must, as always, go… TO THE GAMES!
SF/Was: The Neeners are looking for the upset on the road that isn’t going to happen. Perchance they can take advantage of Dacteds cb Norman not being available. Just kidding-that would require competent play from one Bobby Hoying. That guy on the end of my fantasy bench gets his first call. Rook rb Perine will get the majority of the carries with Kelley out.
Chi/Bal: The Truth Biscuit era begins its second week. Those that dare to watch can tell their bored-to-death grandkids that they were there. I’ve a notion that the Ravens D will be dialing up more than a few looks that will confuse the youngster. Bally ftw.
Cle/Hou: (“They don’t pay me enough to do some of these game intros!”) Guh. Where are we? Right. This could have been a battle of the “How To Spell Your Qb’s First Name” but Kevin Hogan had to stick his nose in and ruin everything. HC Jackson, in his finite wisdom has decided that benching rook Kizer gives his team the best opportunity to ‘win’.
Mia/Atl: The Falcons have a shot at putting a bit of distance between themselves and Carolina in the NFC South today after booting their game vs. the Bills last week. That high-powered offense you keep reading about has only scored 15 more points than the D has given up. Miami? The most they’ve scored in a game this year is a measly 20.
Det/NO: The Saints have settled quite nicely into their inevitable 8-8 season by going 2-2 so far. You know the old saw-“You win some, you lose some, on alternating weeks for the duration of the season”. Puffy McStuffingface has actually thrown for one more TD (11) than the sentient robot arm that belongs to Drew Brees.
GB/Min: What is Aaron Rodgers going to do this week? I’ve no idea but I think the Packers are my new favourite one-man team.
NE/NYJ: The Jets are battling for first place six weeks into the season?! (“Try to use your words, scotchy”) I…this…NO!… (“Goddamnit!”) A certain Pats wr by the name of Chris Hogan has already surpassed his previous season-high for TD’s. He’s got 5 after just five games.
That’s all he wrote. Get crackin’, boys!
Down to 3 in the eliminator.
Fuck Matt Ryan
I was *SOOOO* close to taking Atlanta this week. Changed at the last minute.
The NFL should know people are losing interest in the “product” isn’t cause of players kneeling during the anthem. It’s cause of shit like that.
“It’s cuz of kneeling.”
-MAGA folks, between bites of gov’t cheese
Giants Stadium continues to be a harsh venue for the Jets to play in.
Wow, I’m sure happy I started Funchess over Kearse.
https://twitter.com/xmasape/status/919651671369797632
Was Kiko attempting to mate there?
“It shoulda been a TD. [shrugs shoulders] Ah well, what are you gonna do about it, shitheads?”
-NFL Head Office, Monday Morning
Lets see how long it takes NFL Network to show the “fumble”.
Is Kevin James back on TV mean we can stop worrying about Kevin James, movie star?
He’s a Harvey Weinstein creation; I think we should all sleep with one eye open.
It’s king of queens 2: electric boogaloo
There’s a director’s cut of that commercial that just consists of the Jets fan kid opening the front door and it’s an NFL official who shoots him in the face.
Actually it’s Goodell personally kicking him in the nuts.. and then slapping a 4 game ban on him
I didn’t see the play, but if I’m the Jets owner, I would order my team off the field and start a GoFundMe page for the fines and penalties.
He’s too busy being an ambassador for some fucked up reason
Seriously that was the dumbest call since the tuck rule.
The Tuck Rule was .. per the rules.. This thing,though.. Seriously, what the fuck?! Did ANYONE ON THIS FUCKING PLANET see a fumble, ’cause I sure as shit didn’t (and I’m biased against … well.. opponents scoring on us)
I sure as hell didn’t, and I wanted them to not score
Did Rodgers insure his collarbone with State Farm?
That is one of the worst calls i’ve ever seen in my life.
It’s the worst that I’ve ever seen, but only because I didn’t see the Tuck Rule happen live.
Can we automate these fucking refs now, fuck these incompetent fucks. Give me the fucking goddamned robots.
They sort of did; the calls are now reviewed “in the New York office.”
That is some fucking horseshit
I’m sorry, but that explanation is complete bullshit. THERE WAS NOTHING CONCLUSIVE ABOUT THAT REPLAY.
what the fuck are these refs thinking?
Make calls in favor of Nazis if it keeps all of Trump’s Nazi followers from focusing their ire on these refs?
conclusive as to what the League office wanted
Where did he lose the football? And the call got overturned.
FUCKING LOL
THE DEAL WITH THE DEVIL PAYS OFF ONCE MOAR
Not starting Hyde was a poor decision.
Not Fair League.
What the fuck, Jets
How is there not a riot?
Give it five minutes to sink in…
It is almost jarring to see a Black QB for Green Bay. I wonder how much hate mail the office will get because of it.
If they go with the black guy they drafted, not much.
If they sign an available black guy who kneels, fucktons.
If either wins, none.
Trying to beat the Patriots, can’t have any of that.
Three-point-loss problem solved.
WHAT????
What the fuck
I’m sorry
Hund-leys eyes,
One look at you and he can’t disguise…
Yeah, this game is absolutely rigged. I’ve never seen a call overturned like that.
I’m a Pats fan (I’ve got redeeming qualities), but that call was pure fucking bullshit! It was a TD fair and square!
Wait… they called that a fumble through the end zone?
That call was more unfair than the Tuck Rule call.
HOW THE FUCK WAS THAT NOT A JETS TOUCHDOWN!?
Fumbre for fumbreGod
“The Jets are coming back!”
-Overly Optimistic Air Traffic Controllers, September 11th, 2001
Baltimore should go back to it’s roots:
[Team gets moved back to Cleveland]
I don’t want to wish injury on Kirk Cousins, but I need him to stop now.
Maybe I’ll wish a really bad case of the shits on him. Yeah that would work.
/throw handful of coins in fountain
Hey that’s timely defensin’ Niners. Thank you.
Don’t you get it? My success in the dfo league is God’s ultimate irony
Sweet Jesus. The AFC North is the hottest fucking garbage
Yep, the Rodgers injury update on the scroll is definitely “breaking news”.
“Oh, God. What did Trump do know?!”
Da BEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Holy fuck, Miami actually gonna WIN? Go home Falcons, YOU’RE DRUNK
Makes the Iggles the class of the NFC if so.
Well what do you know throwing against the Greatriots was effective. Let’s run the ball with Forte the next drive for shits and giggles.
The Jets’ long term strategy of waiting for all the great Pats players to get old is paying dividends
The Jets always go back to Forte. It is written.
Go FG, Ratbirds
I would like to see you get hurt Aikman. Don’t say we don’t want to see any stars get hurt, I do.
Two defensive holdings against the P*ts? Is it the apocalypse already?
Rodgers injured; I assume I’m the first to suggest Romo be his fill in? Claviclor must be FED!
Keep bleeding clock so Dreamboat scores NO MOAR
I’m gonna give you the FDR treatment and double wish against your wish.
I’m out of eyelashes.
…..Cutler just holds onto the ball too long, our offensive is decent….
McCown, with an incompletion to the side judge.
Close though.
Truth Biscuit…gettin’ leaky
Is he leaky from the tittay kissin’?
Hey, I’m 44 it wud get me leaky no ofence
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