NFL News:
- Word broke over the weekend that Jerry Jones is leading a group of 17 owners “reviewing” Roger Goodell’s possible contract extension.
- Which, of course, has nothing to do whatsoever, no sir, not one bit, with the upcoming Ezekiel Elliott suspension appeal appeal.
- JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST!
- Zach Miller almost lost his leg as a result of his dislocated knee in the endzone, implying he tore or otherwise damaged the femoral artery during the injury.
- They had to get a graft from his other leg to stabilize it.
- To quote cbssports.com, “to make matters worse: Miller’s touchdown didn’t count. After an official review, the touchdown was overturned, which seems absurd considering there definitely didn’t appear to be irrefutable evidence.”
- There is no goddamned way I am linking a gif or video of that here. It was gruesome.
- Zach Miller almost lost his leg as a result of his dislocated knee in the endzone, implying he tore or otherwise damaged the femoral artery during the injury.
- The World Series outdrew Sunday Night Football in the TV ratings.
- Well, duh – they had as much scoring, and more exciting plays.
- Sunday Night Football had Al Michaels making Jerome Bettis references, and Cris Collinsworth shilling his interest in Pro Football Focus without admitting his connection on the broadcast.
- Well, duh – they had as much scoring, and more exciting plays.
Game Preview: Broncos at Chiefs
This game seems part of a plot by Andy Reid to ensure no one wins the AFC West. The quality of opponent the Chiefs have faced during their losing streak is an escalating pile of shit. The Steelers that beat the Chiefs two weeks ago are a much better team today, although only beating the Lions by 5 points could be a troubling sign. The Raiders appeared cromulent in beating the Chiefs during the two-hour final seconds last Thursday, but then turned in a turd against the Bills. Tonight’s opponent has had only two good quarterbacks in the last 10 years, Peyton Manning V.2 & Tim Tebow J.3:16. Future saviour Paxton Lynch is inactive tonight, in favour of Brock Osweiler. The Broncos only average 18 points per game, the 18th best scoring offence in the NFL.
By design, this game should be an easy walk for the Chiefs.
AND YET!
Tonight marks the return of Jamaal Charles to KC, albeit in a Broncos uniform, so his season-ending injury may not occur until after halftime. But before that happens, look for the Broncos to try & get him going and take advantage of his desire to exact some measure of revenge. Denver defence seems designed exactly to mess with Alex Smith’s mind, and Von Miller has sacked Smith 8 times since 2014. So if the deep routes fail early look for him to revert to his previous title of the Checkdown King. Finally, Andy Reid is their head coach, so expect some quality timeout or time management fuckups issues at least once during the game.
It could either be a Chiefs 30-point blowout or a Broncos 2-point win. At least the NFL doesn’t have to worry about competing against baseball tonight.
Tonight’s sports:
- NFL:
- Denver Broncos at Kansas City Chiefs – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- en espanol en ESPN2
- Denver Broncos at Kansas City Chiefs – 8:15PM | ESPN / TSN
- MLS: Playoffs
- New York Red Bulls vs. Toronto FC (Leg 1) – 7:00PM | FS1 / TSN3
- Houston Dynamo vs. Portland Timbers (Leg 1) – 9:30PM | FS1 / TSN3
- NHL:
- Bruins at Blue Jackets – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
- NBA:
- Spurs at Celtics – 7:30PM | Sportsnet1
- WWE:
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
- Let’s see who’s returned from the mumps!
- Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
I don’t know who bought MLB’s soul, but the based ball people have managed to put together two consecutive seasons of quality World Series’, and five not-bad ones total since 2012. (The Giants thumping the Tigers in 2012 was just awful; Verlander hasn’t forgotten.) Tonight’s NFL contest may make you long for another Astros-Dodgers game. HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN?!
fyi, I skipped the Brian Kelly halftime and pulled out a hangnail with my really good Amazon tweezer set.
I regret nothing
/regrets everything
That reminds me, I need to order drywall anchors
Christ, what kind hangnails ya gets? You really should see that campus quack.
/obligatory smgdh
May I suggest consulting drugs?
the pill bottle has indeed been consulted. Q1 and Q3
Did you split the alcohol between your liver and disinfecting the tweezers?
Fire’s good enough for Rambo, it’s good enough for tweezers. No point wasting alcohol.
Had to reboot my PC and router so I missed it all as well. This seems like a good decision.
holy shit Latimer made a catch AND a run
Schrodinger’s Suspension continues!
Nice.
Broncos running backs seem not to be getting the memo that their offense sucks
Foxball would not be a bad idea with this crew. Menelik can run block
So which shitty senator’s failson is Jerrah going to make commissioner?
“Wait, wait!I’ve got beer and chips!”
-Moose
Speaking of which, I think I’ll go get one of those.
I’LL HAVE MAH BOYS KILL DEM JUDGES! MAH BOY ZEKE IS A GODDANGGED STAR! I AM FUCKIN’ CRAAAAZZZYYYY!!!!!
Story of my life.
with me there would be mace involved
Same. The chemical coating the medieval weapon.
I’m out boys. I got to head to bed. I doubt this game will get any less derpy.
Fake, right? Talking about hair color?
No, I’m sure she waxes.
Chris Harris and Aqib Talib are the best tackling CBs in footbaw
Double J will have his revenge.
Well on the bright side, McManus seems to have fixed hisself
Bob Barker approves!
C’mon Zeke Roullete. I need him out for week 11.
Foul and Fowler
Siemian misses one touched down, Bennie misses the other. Just fucking great, guys.
Siemian thrown all over the place.
On the face is extra.
Wait, isn’t that standard in this biz?
That’s pretty damn adorable
Those two broncos took the chiefs to cover
Bet this guy hates trying to pick out a vanity license plate
Fuck the kings
Well, yes.
-Henry VIII
Fuck the Kings – Tim Donaghy
LA and St. Louis back on top in the nhl standing; what is this, a “ghetto-ize your city and foment race wars by lax punishment of police brutality” league now?
I’m sorry…are you talking to me?
https://www.theonion.com/generic-candy-corn-will-give-you-aids-1819584060
Zeke? Suspended.
The Nazis brigaded his Twitter account, too? Damn, those fuckers got everyone.
Trump’s distraction fake news knows no bounds.
From a power line by his earlobes (conservatively)?
YES!!! My stashing of Alfred Morris finally comes good.
As an idiot who chased the Chris Ivory/Jalen Richard threads….good luck to you sir.
Also, CONVENIENTLY right after the division Redacted game! Yeah, okay, out of the system \end unwarranted conspiracy theory
But he’ll miss the Thanksgiving game!
I did say unwarranted 😀
Though there’s something to be said for taking the easier game at home and earlier in the season when both teams are 3-3.
The Rooney Rule got a mention at Orientation today, as a good example of expanding the consideration set when trying to hire the best person for a job!
Silicon Valley: Making the goddamn NFL look more progressive than an urban tribe of anarchists.
It’s all positions at the company, so I don’t know how it ultimately shakes out, but it was less white male dominated than I was expecting. I’ll see how engineering bootcamp is tomorrow
If this guy is at your boot camp, you may have a bad time
It’s all good. I know which bit is for fighting and which is for fun.
Just be sure to avoid jelly doughnuts.
Jeez that guy HATES jelly doughnuts.
REMEMBER! Black ppl are ppl to!
I honestly doubt most people in the Valley know that.
So, what form of turnover haven’t we seen in this game?
Blocked kick.
Apple?
I always preferred cherry
In the distance, Andy Reid’s stomach rumbles.
BBQ Pitmasters look to the horizon, alert to the coming storm…
Oh, that’s what that sound was. I hoped it was the world coming to an end.
There’s always tomorrow. I’ll be hoping right alongside ya!
buttfumble REDUX
Garo Yepremian remake
The Buttfumble is a beautiful unicorn of fumbles, perhaps one day to be equaled in majesty, but never topped
Spontaneous human combustion?
Can Kelce come back pls
Oh there he is
This just in – Denver isn’t very good, guys.
/with HEAVY apologies to the non-LB defenders
(and medium apologies to the LBs, even)
NO THANKS, MOAR impotent than usual rn
Foar our Donk centric friends…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nNTZ5tqas1k
Huh, so it seems that your offense is responsible for scoring points, which in turn help to win the game! I’m so glad the commentators mentioned that
Hello Kitty stands for the anthem! And she ain’t even American!
Well, well, well…..Helllooooooo Kitty.
It’s especially brave from them considering they’re so used to being on their knees.
The Harry Potter cheerleader has her wand stashed in her boot. No way that’s comfortable. Now that’s dedication.
That’s not where I expected her to stash it.
That reminds me of a rather unsavory story about the time I saw the Murder Junkies live….they have an….interesting….drummer
I am legitimately excited for the Ric Flair 30 for 30.
To be the Man, you gotta beat the Man.
“WOOOOoooooooo”
Well, didn’t see her tonight, so I guess she’s still on her way back to Kansas.
So, a box of wine is 5 Litres, aka 34 5 oz glasses. Do you think they picked the size so it was roughly round numbers in both Metric and English?
And why is 750 mL a fifth of a gallon anyway? What’s up with fluid measures?
And still conveniently five of these
?width=700
Oh Bawbbby!!!!!!
Cartoons have changed somewhat since my youth.
Just substitute a rabbit or a tweety bird and a hunter or a cat
I am surprised that Brian Kelly has not mentioned the lack of deaths associated with ND football this year.
SVP: “Coach Kelly I just want to say thanks for our time and congratulations on not being responsible for any negligent homicides among your student assistants this season.”
Kelly: “Season ain’t over, Scott”
Things are easier when you have a scapegoat
https://twitter.com/Bencjacobs/status/925166850534670336
Why didn’t Hillary sign off continuing the CSRs for the ACA? Obama-Clintoncare has been a complete disaster!
Amber Hahn’s sister?
Not that I know who that is.
Been looking for her everywhere.
Who knew she was hiding in Minnesota?
Nobody….bcuz Minnesota.
No; the found Kim Wall…. in several places…
Damn….
Oh yah! Dats yer uncle Jim’s nieces roommate! She works over by the tavern near da boat ramp!
Sling TV has pretty impressive streaming quality. I think I’ll keep the package that includes ESPN, not having to find and tolerate a shitty illegal stream of MNF and getting Adult Swim and a couple other things in the bargain seems worth $20/month
The fuck? I’m the only Halloween piece schedule tomorrow.
Shellraiser is scheduled. I’m working on something but it is just not good.
I’m flaking because I spent the weekend getting drunk in my new apartment and I forgot how time consuming this “job” thing is.
I am not a creative fiction writer, to my great disappoint
Way ahead of you.
That means you win by default! The two sweetest words in the English language!
I’m working thru some shitty ideas to decide the least shitty and if its shittiless enough to expose publicly. Or bother writing.
I’m getting the hang of these announcer tropes
“Give (team that is currently losing) some credit, they could easily be losing by much more!”
or how rapidly Gruden does a 180 on his Siemian HAWT TAEKS
Sportscasting has a shorter memory than presidential primaries
Probably all the CTE.
Fun/confusing Danzig facts I just learned:
He’s listed at 5’3″
62 Years old (Though he was older actually)
Danzig is actually the name of the guy, most likely as a giant fuck you to Hootie and the Blowfish, Pink Floyd, and Steely Dan.
What, you thought he was Steve Misfits?
I’ve been confused ever since I met my friend ? The The Anthrax in high school.
My great-grandmother came to the US from Danzig. But I think it was called Gdansk back then.
It’s called Gdansk now, I think they changed it cause of something something Hanseatic League? Or because Germany gave Poland back?
Why’s it no longer Danzig but Gdansk?
That’s nobody’s business but the Pole…ansk…ies.
Yeah, you’re right. I got it switched around, it was still Danzig under Prussia when she came over in the 1890s. She wasn’t any relation to any Hansa princes, though. In fact, most of her descendants, except a couple of the more racist ones, suspect she might have been Jewish.
Thanks for remembering US.
– Lynyrd Skynyrd
I gave you three steps, WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME!
Van Halen sheds a tear.
Bennie Fowler is yelling at the QB. Bennie. Fowler.
You could totally rewrite “Hungry like a Wolf” as “Holding like a Wolfe”
WOOOOOOO
preserve the -14
Tiny Hands: The Return
So Jimmy G is gone? Come on Kraft. Make it Kaepernick. I want to see the North Shore burn.
Kraft brings on Kaepernick but there’s a catch:
Kaep has to LEAD the team in singing the anthem every single game.
It’s still un-American and disrespectful because he’s
black non-whitenot singing all seven verses.So, what’s the over/under on how many days it takes before I stop eating a healthy lunch and just go to the nacho restaurant every day?
2 hours
That’s nacho best option
I want to hear more about this nacho restaurant.
I heard a rumor they do burritos too, but it’s a different line
Keep talking…
I THINK, and I only have indirect evidence because I haven’t caved to the delicious nacho God yet, that it’s a make your own nacho bar type setup
Sounds promising, but could also be awful. Meat options are key.
Like my compadres, I would also care to know.
Evening, folks. What have I missed tonight?
Siemian thinks he’s in a monkey shit fight at the zoo and not playing QB for an NFL team.
So, his usual Monday evening, then.
Made it to New Jersey for Mrs Sharkbaits grandmother’s funeral.
False Idol!
Behold the Truth!
If God had His hand jammed up her ass more people would have bought that album.