Well, here she is-the meat of the week 10 sked. Will it be an overcooked skirt steak cut along the grain (“for extra chewiness!”) served with a side of store-brand ketchup or will it be a slow-roasted bone-in prime rib seasoned (the previous evening, of course) with sea salt, cracked black pepper and a touch of garlic powder? Who is to say? It’s our job to wipe the saliva drool off our keyboards and watch the damn fixtures and decide for ourselves. TO THE GAMES!
Cin/Ten: The Bengals are rushing for a paltry 72 ypg. And that’s despite the fact that Jeremy “No Thrill” Hill has been tossed into the dumpster. They’ve got enough talent. It’s just a matter of putting those pieces together but Marvin was never very good with crossword puzzles or coaching, come to think of it.
LAC/Jax: The LawnClippers look exactly like the 7-9 team they will inevitably be. The question then becomes, “Which Jags squad will show up-the one that throttled the Steelers 30-9 or the one that lost to the Jets in OT?” All I know is that the Jax D that has only given up an average of 14 points a game so far has the edge.
Cle/Det: Kizer gets thrown right back in the fryer. The Lions are without c Lang and de Ansah. Hug your loved ones.
NYJ/TB: As I mentioned in a thread t’udder (btw, this word doesn’t set off any alarm bells at Spell Check Headquarters) you could do worse than take a flyer on fill-in qb Fitzpatrick. He’s got some weapons at his disposal. Yes, wr Evans is out but Tampa qb’s have a 116 rating when passing to te’s Howard and Brate and the only team that passes more than the Bucs are the Niners (because they’re behind so much). If the Jets take this they’ll be within a half game of the last AFC wild card spot.
GB/Chi: It’s Hundley vs. Truthbiscuit for all the marbles, like maybe a dozen of them! It’s one semi-veteran struggler up against a Johnny-Come-Lately struggler! If turnovers and 3-and-outs get you hard, this is the game for you!
NO/Buf: A first-rate offense is finally paired with a competent defense and looky here-a 6-2 record! I can only imagine that someone bothered to tell hc Payton that white wine and not toilet water is the better option when choosing fish on the menu. I’d be leaning towards the Bills here (they’re undefeated at home) thinking that they’ll bounce back from their ugly loss to the Jets last week.
Pit/Ind: Some are saying that this is a trap game for the Steelers but I’m not buying. How can the Colts create one when they don’t even have a rope, snare wire or the ability to dig a hole in the ground? Pitt romps.
Min/Was: Minny is only favoured by 1.5? They’ve scored more points and given up far less than the Dacteds. They do have a few starters on the Purple People Eaters Redux D listed as questionable but that’s not enough to keep them from absconding with the W, is it?
Toss some funnies out there, will ya?
So glad I started #ThePauls D/ST!
– Nobody
That Kamara kid knows how to follow his blocks.
Until this week he’d been pretty good for me in FF. This week, however, I am playing Internet Dad and he started Ingram.
Things aren’t going well.
I realize that most people don’t watch the Browns (god knows I wonder why), but this years has been especially frustrating because they have more talent then they have had in years.
For example, they are #1 against the run. Sure they give up a lot of points, I think they lead the league, but at the same time, their offense is on the field for almost no time…
And as I type this out, the Browns just got an interception.
Raiders fans keep insisting that the only reason the Browns suck is that they have no talent on their roster and that actually Hue Jackson is actually a great head coach and the Raiders would win a Super Bowl if they could just get him back.
I don’t blame him for the problems with the team. Its far beyond one person (besides the owner).
That said, Hue has made some batshit insane decisions.
THIS CFL EAST SEMI-FINALS DIVISION GAME, I CALL IT THE HOUSTON 500 BECAUSE EVERYONE IS SCORING.
8-7 Ottawa Rough Riders
Murray? PRESENT!!
Los Titanicos look bueno
Apparently, Carrie Underwood fell down some stairs and got fucked up. Are they gonna CGI the damage in for the Sunday Night opening?
Goddamn it. I can’t even make snarky jokes like this these days because she apparently pissed off the pepes and they’re calling it an act of god.
When do pitchers and catchers report?
“All day, every day honey.”
-regulars at Stonewall
Tomorrow’s episode of The Good Doctor is Must See.
Touchdown Riders on the opening drive. They went through Ottawa’s defense as if they were a hot knife entering butter.
And the fucking Red Zone channel doesn’t even mention it!
Ottawa returns the favor, makes the 2-point attempt, and now leads by a rouge
Spoiling off to a good start in Washington.
That is bullshit, his ass hit the boundary
his elbow might have been down first, hardly conclusive tho
what a catch by that PS guy, out of bounds or not
Oh my god. Something wonderful is happening. The audio for some of the commercials (CBS game) is all fucked up so it’s basically muted.
HOLY SHIT! Not only did the Browns start in the Detroit end of the field, the very first play was a successful pass. The Browns are in the RED ZONE!!!
Shit…I forget…what happens now? Its been a while…
And on third and goal, Kizer throws the ball about five rows deep into the stand.
But hey! 3-0 Browns! That is SERIOUS PROGRESS!!!
Bengals only have two HBs active. If anything happens to Mixon or Bernard, this may get interesting.
Do they have a fullback?
H-Backs (TEs)
McCarron to take handoffs!
Bills are at the Saints 30 already.
outdoor cold Saints gon Ain’t
The cb covering Benjamin looks like he’s 5’3″.
This Detroit game, you can hear it when someone flushes a fucking toilet in the stadium.
But enough about the on-field action, how is it in the stands?
At least that means the water was turned back on. Think positive!
The water makes more noise because of all the lead in it.
Different city in Wayne County.
That is how fucked up Michigan is…Detroit is NOT the most dysfunctional city in its county.
nice start, #ThePauls
It’s a cloudy rainy mess so I guess I’m stuck watching the Packers and Bears bumble across the field for a few hours.
Zeke was the Nigel Tufnel of my squad, now my team is about to go full-on Jazz Odyssey in front of a full festival crowd.
Did a Hippo start a Morris today?
I did NOT.
McKinnon is RB2, and had Gronk and Engram starting at TE/Flex.
Have an inkling Rod Smith may get more touches than imagined, though Morris would be my first alternative at flex or RB. He’s a good start, still.
Justice League looks better. I mean that as it looks better than other DCEU shows. Its nice they actually paid money for better lights.
Owners: “Don’tkneelonVeteransDayWeekend.Don’tkneelonVeteransDayWeekend.Don’tkneelonVeteransDayWeekend.Don’tkneelonVeteransDayWeekend.Don’tkneelonVeteransDayWeekend.Don’tkneelonVeteransDayWeekend.Don’tkneelonVeteransDayWeekend.Don’tkneelonVeteransDayWeekend.”
Hippo soapbox:
Even as a liberal Demmycrat who generally agrees with the kneeling, and 100% agrees with their RIGHT to do so…I certainly hope everyone gives it a pass this weekend.
As a cynical asshole, all I think about is the fact they’re literally charging the military to honor the military
that is indeed quite cynical that the Shield does that
I think its hilarious that people need to have their patriotism validated by random strangers.
Its right up there with the rage over minimum wage employees not saying “Merry Christmas” to ever fucking asshole that bum rushes them during their 12 hour shift. Or the idiots that think two men getting married will somehow do more damage to the “institution” as oppose to fucking Charlie Sheen.
100% good call.
In all honesty, I think making an exception to the kneeling thing on Vetern’s Day weekend would be appropriate. Might even mend a fence or two.
No it won’t. Kaep kneeling was at the request of an actual veteran and people want to nail him to a cross for it.
Probably right, just wishful thinking.
Interesting approach to anthem coverage, although a helicopter flyby doesn’t quite have as much punch.
The Agent Orange they dropped sure does.
/”Sorry, guys. It’s a bad habit we picked up.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A_lpqX_9P9w
New twist: Anthem singer is thrown from play with a parachute. Parachute won’t open until Anthem is finished.
And if even one person is kneeling, they cut the cord before pushing them out
Find myself rooting for Washington and Atlanta. I forgot how much work went into rooting for teams that are actually going to be in the playoffs.
Fuck Fox and your slavish whoring of the troops!
/It was Remembrance Day yesterday?
//Eh. Fuck you anyway-it’s too much
Just realized it was Veterans’ Day yesterday, and I won a bet against my dead father’s branch of the service (Air Force), though he wasn’t an academy guy.
Sorry, Dad!!
Feel sorry for the troops in the background. You know they are there under orders.
In Nashville, AJ McCarron just saw the Browns in the CBS Pregame Show and started breaking out in small, relieved laughter.
Good. Hill is on IR. They cannot start him each half anymore.
SPOILERS:
Redshirt: “QUIT STARTING EMPTY BACKFIELD EVERY HALF, BENGALS!”
This sounds like a front office intervention on Marvin Lewis, no?
Funniest thing I’ve seen all week – Donks coach Vance Joseph is really Fargo Season 2’s Mike Milligan!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yl9B2bMzMDA
I hate living in a red state. I need to buy beer and cannot until 1pm.
If you can’t buy beer before 1 on sundays, you don’t need to go to the doctor. We smrt.
Also, why aren’t blue laws condemned as BAD FOR THE SMALL BUSINESS MAN and repealed?
That gives me an idea actually. A friend runs a little store not far from me. I could probably get him to let me grab a case and take it out the back and pay him later. If not, it’ll be 1pm by the time I make into town anyway.
Onward and upward, ppl!!!!!!!!!
In California, we can buy beer as early as the local market opens. In my case, 9 AM.
Showoff.
6 AM right next door at the 7-11.
That’s still noon over here. We’re buying beer at the same time. Eerie!?
The law is noon, dude. Or is your county all extra?
You sure?
I’ve been rebuffed b/w noon and 1pm before tho, yes. Maybe it is just fucked up Orange County.
Oh shit, just looked it up. Changed in June, eh?
Bye!!!!!!!!
I knowed I seen the placards at Super Target with “noon” on them. Huzzah!
Your blouse to fall off. Duh.
It’s noon for beer and wine in TX, but that’s 1pm in the eastern time zone. No hard liquor sales on Sunday.
Like I need another reason to look down my nose at America.
10 am here. When double digits are on the clock play ball.
I was at a club in Vegas and asked the bartender when last call was. She had no damned idea what I was talking about.
I just realized I was on mountain time still. Could not figure out why the games hadn’t started yet.
Wait until you get to Pacific time!
Roy Moore is going to win the election and every couple years he’ll make some crazy statement/position and we’ll all remember him.
Those Southern states should have been depopulated and given back to the natives.
I’ve seen a few survey results the last day or two that suggest Evangelicals are *more* tolerant of this behavior than the average American and that some are actually *more* likely to vote for him because of this.
I heard someone one say these people don’t actually worship God, but rather than messy blend of piety, nationalism, and autocracy and it’s really hard to deny that now.
there are a subset of fundies that really are just strongly authoritarian and chauvanistic. They indeed won’t be bothered one bit.
But I also have a “born again” friend from college (who was an athiest then) who is now a non-racist Ron Paul fan (I know, I know), who would absolutely vote for Doug Jones if he lived there. He refused to vote for Trump, just couldn’t vote for Hillary, either. Considered both “evil.”
He has daughters, but doesn’t view them as chattel.
This is a true test, though. No doubt about it, For there is no excusing the choice one makes here.
I’m just stuck on the incongruity of voting for a Democrat when your primary political idol is Ron Paul.
He’s a fairly consistent Libertarian, but his primary concern is (again, seems strange) world peace. He reads the intellectual “never Trump” right-ist stuff, not the Breitbart trash.
Ah. I’ve encountered some of these folks. Heart is kinda in the right place but they’re naive as hell.
agreed. Just hope they keep reading, and keep their eyes open while their fellow travelers defend the likes of Roy Moore. Change can happen.
“Never Trump” just means all the shit Trump wants to do with a visage of basic human decency.
Yuuuup. During the 16 election, I read a couple Evangelical posts (distant) friends and family were throwing on the facecuck.com and many basically said Trump was a vessel for God to work his will and the whole sexual assault thing was a test to make sure they still supported God’s unusual vessel to do his work.
Fuck those people.
I think there is a less-than 50/50, but significant (maybe 20-25%) chance that there are enough sane people there that will say this is a bridge too far. I mean, even the GOP Governor is refusing to endorse him, same with the other Senator.
He barely won his last statewide election, when it was NOT known he was a paedo. People don’t like to be laughingstocks, even in Alabama. And unlike MS, Alabama actually DOES have a few reasonable-sized cities (that are fairly GOP-leaning). Those people can be peeled off from the usual coalition.
One of the most liberal guys I know grew up in Muscle Shoals AL.
If they had given Mississippi and Al Abama to the Jews instead of Palestine after WWII, a lot of problems would have been avoided. Or maybe not.
I think it’s the Fargo accent but I found this video to be absolutely magical.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3btEDmNFy6k
Her sincerity is disarming.
Two players on my bench I’m afraid are going to blow up: Ty Montgomery and Martavis Bryant.
Both should be blown up.
I think fear of spontaneous combustion is overblown
The one receiver I’d most be worried about blowing up is Kelvin Benjamin but now that he’s away from all that Carolina barbecue he’ll probably be able to stay slim.
Scotchy it is football playoff in your country as well today.
I’m not a CFL guy at all-I leave that to the Wakezilla’s of the world.
Quick advice: Fuller and rely on Savage Garden or go with Sammy Watkins and his inconsistency?
GUH. Watkins.
Savage Garden. If you’re looking for a Sammy who plays like he’s only using one of his eyes I’d stick with this guy:
That reminds me of my racist grandpa’s go-to racist allusion. GOOD TIMES.
/thankfully he has been ded long time now
And I thought my options were bad.
/they still are
Watkins. Better QB, and the Houston has given up a zillion fantasy points to WRs vs every team not named “Cleveland”.
Fuller. Watkins is simply not a target for Goff.
Ugh, I’m so hungry, and that lede ain’t helping.
Help me, airport breakfast, you’re my only hope.
TRAVEL TIP: The Golden Corral breakfast at the RDU airport is surprisingly excellent.
That thought turned my stomach
“Mmm…Corral…”
– a semi-articulate zombie
one item that has always concerned me – is the Truth in the Biscuit, or is the Biscuit in the Truth?
We are all the biscuit, and our truths live inside of each of us. Ob la di, koo koo gajoob.
Morning Folks.
correct this time, hippie
Three fantasy players I need to come down with a case of the Hong Kong flu before kickoff: Christian McCaffery, A.J. Green, Evan Engram.
That is all.
No to all of that nonesense.
I’m off to the NHRA Top Fuel Finals at Pomona!
BTW, if you Google “drag race gif” here’s what you get. I’m assuming these are the drivers:
BONUS:
I hope you have earplugs. That is the loudest event I’ve ever been to. You can feel the noise in your guts.
It’s fucking awesome!
JV: They aren’t going to win anything but Arizona is seriously a fun team to watch. D gives up a ton of points, offense is electric. It’s fun football to watch.
they have truly become one with the RichRod
I’m going against form and betting on my team today. I’ve got a two team parlay with Vikes and Bears.
I’m sure I’ll have no regrets whatsoever.
Rules for betting on own team’s fixtures:
1) NEVAR bet on your own team to do a GOOD.
2) NEVAR bet so much AGAINST your team that your loyalties are conflicted.
Any time I start to feel pity for the Cleveland Browns – even just a little – I remind myself that this is a franchise that brought in Art Briles as a consultant.
Also, I need to buy some new pots for my hydroponics. Things are damn expensive via Amazon and all the online suppliers I can find are killing me with shipping. Long shot here but anyone got any recommendations for where to buy?
They’re just the ~4″ square pots for my flood tray.
kijiji?
“Is that a code word? I’m not familiar with that word. It sounds like something a player would name his child, and then not pay child support for. You know, one of THOSE kinds of players. Irresponsible ones. You wouldn’t find a player like that in the Patriots organization, that is something you can count on. I’ve said it a hundred times, if you want to win in the NFL – in any professional sport for that matter – you have to have discipline within your organization. That’s what you get with Bill Belichick.”
– Colin Cowherd
Shit, is it a Canadian marketplace for selling stuff? We buy and sell all the stuff for decilitre on there.
It does appear to be Canadian. And since I am in the GREATEST COUNTRY ON EARTH IN HISTORY, I’ll thank you to do me one better.
Wow — is MIN good? Like, SB contender good? They’ve really come on (according to their bye week post).
If other people were asleep when they started making their move it’s known as “Weinsteining”.
Cosbying is also acceptable.
“Cosbying” is actually better, in fact.
NOBODY UPSTAGES LITTLE RIKKI! HISS!
Would also accept “Pulling a Sharper.”
“Securing the Peter King vote.”
“Sharper? Yeah, I suppose it could use some work on the whetstone.”
– Ray Lewis
This might be peak nfl apathy for me.
/But is it “peak” if it will go up next weeK?
#INTERESTINGTAKE
The only thing holding my interest is Gamblor lord of gambling!!!!
I (stupidly) put money on the Humps, because I think they are better than a doormat, Stillers are worse than an elite team, and as such 10 is just way too much to be laying on the road like that. Only ‘splanation is public team.
I need me some London action this early in the morning!!!
sorry Sparky fucked up your parlay. I went to sleep b/c my watching was fucking with WY, which did the trick for them at least.
Yeah, if I had only not gone there for a semester when I was 18 I would not have the soft spot for em! When they were up 14 nothing I knew I was in trouble. Today is a new day I am with scotchy and think TB will roll the Jets
I took Fronk’s tip (PHRASING!!) and bet the over on that one. Neither defense so much as tries anymore.
Aw, I remember the time I got some London action early in the morning…
-Said the IRA