Our Final Full Lesser Footy Day of 2017 – Cherish It

Yes, our long winter of discontent beckons.  Blech.

We jump straight into the 10:00 window, there being no early match.  Which kind of sucks.  Anyway, NBCSN brings you Man U hosting the surprisingly competent, 9th position Seagulls of Brighton & Hove.  CNBC has alternate viewing, in the form of Spurs hosting dire West Brom.  Barcodes v. Moose Hornets on NBC Gold is a much better bet.

5th position Redshite host resurgent 3rd place Chelsea in the 12:30 big NBC spotlight dance, which for once lives up to its moniker.  I will at least stream it, since the local Raleigh, NC network affiliate is showing Boston College/Syracuse JV action instead.  Sad!

Sunday brings us three fairly intriguing fixtures, with the 8:30 opener – Everton’s visit to St. Mary’s (Soton) only available on NBC Gold.  Both these sides (16th and 14th) are on poor form, and in need of answers.  Anyway, I shall be watching and hoping…and still waiting for a permanent manager.

As for matches normal humans might watch, 6th position Arsenal visit 7th place Burnley (9:00, CNBC), followed by runaway freight train Man City’s visit to #10 Huddersfield Town (11:00, NBCSN).  One expects the visitor “name side” to hold serve, but each match could be more difficult sledding than the untrained eye might expect.

On to the full, bountiful JV slate!

Georgia at Georgia Tech (Noon, ABC)

There Will Be Rushing Attempts.

Ohio State at Michigan (Noon, Fox)

/imagine picture of lukewarm pool of jism

Florida State at Florida (Noon, ESPN)

Fun Fact!  Both these sides are 4-6, and both have re-scheduled patsy games next week, while real teams play for conference supremacy.  One of them will get bowl qualification out of said sad exercise.  The other…just MOAR realization of just how deep the hole is.

Indiana at Purdue (Noon, ESPN2)

Two 5-6 teams that hate each other.  Yes, please!!

Alabama at Auburn (3:30, CBS)

Match of the Day.  DUH.  Winner takes all, and yes, I believe War Damn Eagle gets into the playoffs if it wins out.  I also believe Roll Damn Tide gets in at 11-1 with a loss here or to UGA.  Spoiler alert – I don’t believe either hypothetical loss happens, leaving Bama the only SEC PAAAAAWWWWWLLLL!!! representative.

Iowa State at Kansas State (3:30, ESPN2)

The Undead Bill Snyders will probably lose here, just to make BDSM State folk even angrier.  Cyclones remain one of the year’s better stories.

West By God Virginia at Oklahoma (3:45, ESPN)

I don’t wanna say “trap game” but….FUCKING TRAP GAME.

Vanderbilt at Tennessee (4:00, SECN)

Oh, the humiliation of it.  To be 0-7 in SEC play, and face similarly 0-7 Vandy…at home, on the last day of the season, each with nothing to play for.  Could easily be the lowest single point of Volunteer sports history.  I will watch more of this than I care to admit, because I’m really fucking weird.

Clemson at South Carolina (7:30, ESPN)

There are usually fights in this one, more than sufficient reason to tune in.  Rednecks at night, y’all.

Texas A&M at LSU (7:45, ESPN2)

I wish I attended a university where a football coach could enter the season finale a ded man walking at fucking 7-4 in the toughest division of the toughest conference in JV NFL.

Notre Dame at Stanford (8:00, ABC)

Hey, everybody, it’s the one time a year I pull for boring-ass Stanford.

Washington State at Washington (8:00, Fox)

Apple Cup, y’all!  Neat name, neat rivalry.  Wazzu has already beaten the Troi Boiz once, so they really need this win as a major step forward for their program.  Huskies can only play spoiler in favour of the Trees.

Colorado at Utah (10:00, FS1)

Not a great tweaker match-up, but at least it’s 5-6 v. 5-6, and Team Secular Big Love always gives a good effort.

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

The Iron Bowl has been absolutely great the last five years. Just remember that when this state puts Roy Moore in the Senate.

herodotus450

Maybe it will turn out the election is a trick question; a vote for Moore is really a vote to trade alabama for puerto rico.

blaxabbath

UA picks up 32 on 3rd and long. Next play, JJ Taylor rushed for a 15 yard TD.

23-14 Arizona. 3:43 in the half left.

theeWeeBabySeamus

What the shit, Lana?????

WCS

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

45-10 Boomer Sooner at halftime.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

Nick Wilson runs hard. He’s just had such injury problems.

So….I guess he’ll go to Tennessee in the 5th?

blaxabbath

Khalil Tate is a monster.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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herodotus450

Hmm, how do we discourage that type of behavior in the future from him and other players… I got it! Let’s talk about him, by name, all week and constantly show the replay of what got him benched! That’ll learn him!

blaxabbath

ASU TD.

14-6. TAKE THE OVER.

blaxabbath

Zone read to Belage. He’s gonna be a Cat Killer this game.

blaxabbath

ASU offense looking unafraid. Chunk plays. QB runs. 1st down inside the UA 30.

blaxabbath

Kaylen Belage returns the kickoff. Stopped before the 15.

blaxabbath

Khalil Tate TD. Cats up 14-0; 5 min left in first.

blaxabbath

Under review. Expect overturned.

blaxabbath

3rd and goal

blaxabbath

Tate keeper. 13-0

WCS

There’s a riot about to break out in Norman.

blaxabbath

ASU muffs punt to the 50.

1st play end-around to the 38; flag – horsecoller. Move it to the 23.

This crowd is not happy. But yes drunk.

blaxabbath

Seriously? A Star Wars shaver?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Jabba the Cutt?

JustStopDude

Evening pukes. I finally made it back home from visiting family out of state.

I cannot wait to sleep on my good mattress as oppose to a couch.

blaxabbath

UA bringing in a Texans-level depleted defense. ASU won the toss and opted to receive. UA held them to a 3-and-out, took the punt, drove down the field for a TD.

Oh — just got a sack. Another 3-and-out for ASU.

...

Chiefs woman in that NFL Shop commercial can get it.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Always Sunny is leaving Netflix December 9th. Please hide the shoelaces in the DFO clubhouse.

herodotus450

Who said it, Roy Moore or Vern Lundquist:
“I don’t think there’s enough contact from the Alabama guy here…”

WCS

Yes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehe

Viva La Tabula Raza

Think I’ll head to the wine bar and watch this on my phone. Conserve my rum and my herb for later.

theeWeeBabySeamus

We need to stop trying 2pt conversions if that’s the best we can do.

laserguru

My twin nephews are coming to town this weekend. The first nephew, from Oklahoma is here already and his brother gets in tonight. The nephew who is here already is a Rams fan from birth and his dad, DJ Taj is a Saints fan. They’re going to the game at the Colliseum tomorrow.
Fuck that place, I’m watching from home.

laserguru

Indeed. Want to here a cruel joke? When the twins were about 2 years old my other brother gave one of them a mini Rams uniform and the other a Raiders uniform. They were living in California at the time and both teams were still in LA.
Those poor bastards are STILL fans of those teams.

Have a heart people, let them choose for themselves.

blaxabbath

How do college stadiums decide which band gets to play at a time? Is it based on possession? Is someone directing them when to go? What’s the punishment for playing at the same time as the other team?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I am not paying attention to any of this. But who plays Miami in what Bowl and how much should I bet on them?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Undecided yet. They play Clemson in the ACC Champs game next week though.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

So I root for them to win that to have bigger heartbreak later?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Actually, if they win, they probably go to a worse bowl.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, “probably” is a strong word. But it’s possible.

blaxabbath

Oh man — so Chip is going to UCLA….

herodotus450

If no one does a Chip-CHPs crossover while he’s there (maybe for going too fast on offense? Cmon, it writes itself) Im gonna be PISSED!

blaxabbath

I had just really sold myself it had to be Florida.

But he’ll dominate in the west, stay healthy, and then get rocked in the playoffs.

herodotus450

I think I’m gonna change my name to “Alabama Football Team,” move to Alabama for 5 years or whatever, and then run for Congress. How could I lose!? On an unrelated note, if everyone could send me their 12 dollars that would be great.

Viva La Tabula Raza

How come they haven’t done a gritty reboot of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer yet?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You didn’t see the one where Nazi Rudolf pretends to have a Jewish nose?

WCS

Starring Bruce Willis as Rudolph.

blaxabbath

I don’t really have a problem with Sports Clips/Supercuts — but I’ve never gotten a better than mediocre cut at one of those places.

blaxabbath

I hope Arizona blows out ASU. At home. Which will lead to the immediate removal of their coach. Not because I especially hate Tood Graham or fear they’ll get anyone better, I just love watching coaches searches, watching the fans freak, the rumors fly, and the arguments about how much of a “destination” their mid-tier teams are.

theeWeeBabySeamus

We no can haz Nicky?

...

I remember back around 2010 when Mizzou fans openly talked about replacing Gary Pinkel even though there was zero shot of landing an elite coach or even one who was likely to be better than they already had. So I’d say this endemic among mid-tier schools.

WCS

I thought Arizona State was his dream job. Like Pitt. And Tulsa. And Rice.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not yet.
But it’s still early.

...

I hate CBS’ SEC broadcast team for some reason.

WCS

14-3 Land Jumpers after one.

Time to start drankin.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You ain’t started yet?
You are braver than I, Sir.

...

I prefer calling them the “I swear this never happens-ers.”

...

Yesterday I learned there’s a website called Chaturbate.

Mr. Ayo

Another successful DFO production!

Redshirt

Guys, I did the math. The only way OSU sneaks into the playoffs involves Alabama not losing. But rooting for Alabama goes against everything I stand for.

So, I’m going offline now. Let the pieces fall where they may.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Just the way you drew it up Aubie?
LMFAO.

theeWeeBabySeamus

$600 here.
Also pissed.

Shreveport, here we come!!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Money appears safe.
Yet I’m regretting having no weed at the moment.

We suck.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Under on that one, huh?

Horatio Cornblower

Is 56 the total score of the game, or the wind speed at which Kelly will refuse to send a student up on a scissors lift?

Because I’d take the over on the latter.

litre_cola

I bet on Bama, that turnover pleases me.