Air thine grievances here, y’all.
Birmingham Bowl – Texas Tech v. South Florida (Noon, ESPN)
IIRC, this used to have Papa John attached to it, surely a relief to him not, now that the city done sent all them daaaahhhhkies to vote for Sen-elect Doug Muthafuckin’ Jones!! No, I’m not tired of saying I told you there were enough good Southern folk to prevent Senator Paedo, even in Bama. As for the match, the line is Bulls -1.5, and I have no action as I have no feel. I wanted to, but cannot.
Military Industrial Complex Bowl A – Army v. San Diego State (3:30, ESPN)
I think Army got invited to this mofo the instant they hit 6 wins. Get used to all 4 of those irritating USAA commercials in heavy rotation. I put a wee bit of money on the Black Knights moneyline (+205, line is +6.5) as this is their designed exhibition, after all. And they are used to defending the run.
Indianapolis Colts at Baltimore Ravens (4:30, NFLN)
The Ratbirds have morphed into the NFL’s flat-track bullies, as evidenced by their 2nd half curb stomping of #ThePauls last weekend. One could argue that the Humps have the advantage of extra time to prepare, but the flip side of that is having lost in the Gravy Boat on TNF to fucking Brock…Brock…dun dun dun dun dun Brock Lobster!! Ha ha, that’s just sad. Enough time has passed that we can make fun of Coach Cancer for just being shitty at his job. Which he really fucking is.
When You Think K-Mart Is Fer Snobs Bowl – Appy State v. Toledo (7:00, ESPN)
Not exactly saving your best for last, JV NFL. Anyway, having bet against the Happy Appies before and lost big, I also put a medium bet on their money line ($75 at +205 line is also +6.5). I know nothing about the MAC, really. This gives me reason to watch if/when the late NFL fixture is horse excrement.
Christmas Suggestions
Very few things make me feel Christmas-y, here is one. Depressing indie-folk singer songwriter Sufjan Stevens, who is also a left-wing hippie-ish Christian (a quasi-Methodist like Hippo) and his nearly 5-hour collection of Christmas songs. Some original, some traditional with his own tweaks. Ukelele, of course. If you must go to a gathering, suggest this instead of the usual musical fare.
Because it’s the Colts, it didn’t matter what decision they made – it was going to be the wrong one.
You’d think Luck would be on their side…
An old favourite…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLWKdm-3pB8
Part 2 of that “Will to Survive” ad should show the players trying to figure out why the pathway to the Super Bowl is littered with dead birds.
And it should include a Redhawk, because fuck Dan Snyder.
More like Deadhawk amirite?
Distracting myself from this garbage football going back through Chris Long’s thread going after fans and media for trying to make him a poster boy for good socially conscious NFL players at Colin Kaepernick’s expense. Howie raised a hell of a kid.
His message resonates much better with the “economically anxious” liberals.
Fun part is watching how the fans go from “IT’S HIS ACTIONS” to “IT’S HIS ATTITUDE, THEN” because they can’t just come out and say it’s because it’s a black guy. Any time someone tries to explain their rationale, I just remember how crotchety old white sports writers spent a year writing about how his tattoos were problematic.
yeah but have you seen Firestorm?
Why would I do that to myself?
There was something I was watching where someone was ripping on someone else by pointing out that their movie starred Howie Long. Thought it was a great joke.
Hey! This morning’s raining mess made it to Baltimore!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5aZJBLAu1E
The funny thing about that Falcons jersey ad is that the woman in it is actually Russell Wilson’s type.
You misspelled ballsofsteelandfury.
You forgot Litre wants some of that too
hello fake falcon mom
The pic reminds me of my fave kid’s book.
/Goodnight Moon
a’ight, Army needs a 6-minute TD drive plus 2-pointer. Good thing I bet like $35-$40
Holy shit, they might just do it
helluva fucking drive
Hey Redshirt, what’s the chance of Cincy winning tomorrow?
Not good. Cincy’s shows no signs of life/interest and half the defense is hurt.
am betting somewhere near the odds of Boehner quitting wine and smokes on the same day
“Welding is so hot.”
-Paris Hilton
This joke woulda killed in 2005.
my dad’s friend was a welder. The sign on his truck read “I can weld anything but a broken heart”.
So I’ve never welded before ever, but I bought a “Lil’ Welder Childrens Starter Kit” down at the Home Depot and thought I’d give it a shot. I welded these two pieces of pipe together. I know it’s not very good because I’m just a beginner but maybe I’ll get better with some practice.
I’m making a coat rack. Here’s a pic:
Perhaps I’ve been watching a wee bit too much porn recently but I really want to stick my dick into your coat rack.
Not bad for a newbie!
If anyone is looking to buy me something for Xmas…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AiAw9lABxtQ
Scotch, I can’t buy you a hooker online. The judge was very specific in his ruling.
You’re a Republican-what do you care about judge’s rulings?
/ZINGO!!!
Of course, you’d say that. You’re a Democrat-you go to the courts to change the rule of law, not the voters.
/counter-ZINGO!!!
They have Democrats in Canada?
Wha? I’m a resident of The Canada. I gets to look on disapprovingly at all y’all.
Ah, withdrawn. Odds are I’ll be joining you by either asylum or Ohio going to Canada when the USA breaks apart.
How do i attach this to my AR-15?
My marriage is angry today, my friends. Like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli.
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
/I’m guessing it was about money
just put the sweater.
Fox News is going to lose their minds when Trump gets impeached, Pence is also prosecuted and deemed ineligible, and we all say hello to the first woman President in US history: Madam Nancy Pelosi.
I would rather it be Debbie Wasserman-Schultz’s accountant who was a really big fan of West Wing and thinks the only thing wrong with Hillary was that she just wasn’t enough like President Bartlett. Literally any Democrat besides Pelosi.
I’d very much like to invest in your time machine.
Oh, God. Anyone but her! Why would the Dems give her the Speaker title back? She had it for two years and it ended with her handing the Gavel back to the GOP.
Why is she so untouchable on the Dems side? I don’t see it.
Trump could rape Pelosi on the Supreme court steps and House wouldn’t push for impeachment. Only if the Donks take the House will we see impeachment. I’m placing money on Military Coup. The Navy and Intelligence agencies get pushed too far and it’s a coup.
I wouldn’t hold out hope for states seceding.
Army, leave the air attacks to the Air Force. smgdh
You too, Tony Gwynn alma mater
Fuck you Greg Gumbel.
Boy if I had a nickel every time a woman told that me…
“Everyone knows that girth is more important.”
-Andy Reid
Anybody heard of “Robolights” in Palm Springs? Looks insane so thinking of checking it out tonight.
I really need a new wallet. Does anyone have one these Minimalist wallets? I would think it the cards would scratch.
https://www.ridgewallet.com/collections/all-wallets/products/aluminum-black?variant=41321602446
Never tried one like that, always figured it would scratch my leg up more than cards.
I have a mini one that I sometimes use when I travel. Nothing like the link, though – made of leather.
I just keep my wallet in my backpack when it gets on my nerves. Yeah, I carry around a backpack like some kind of clinic bomber weirdo, wanna fight about it?
I’d be afraid to show I have cash. That’s the first thing my parents told me if I’m walking around with a lot of cash in my wallet: Don’t walk around like I have a lot of cash in my wallet!
Have you ever listen to a song on the radio that you liked, only to come home to look it up but not remember a thing about it? I can only imagine what the unpaid intern at the NSA responsible for monitoring my internet activities thinks with the nonsensical searches I make trying to figure it out.
http://bfy.tw/Fimu
http://bfy.tw/18L0
Folks. I take everyone is having a fine Christmas Eve-Eve
Fine now, but the family has so much stress and exhaustion from the holiday that I might end up on the news with the newscaster saying “Before turning the gun on himself…”
Redshirt (artist’s conception):
I am the angel of death. The time of reckoning is at hand.
i started my vacation yesterday and got all my chores and shopping done by noon. Best thing about Vegas is the 24 hour shopping.
my family time is DONE!
Instead of the Pro Bowl they should have nothing.
Man, the Colts have the worst luck today. Two Baltimore fumbles and they both went right to Baltimore players.
Fozz is probably shining laser pointers in their eyes.
Irsay lost Mayflower’s number so they can’t scoop up those balls as fast anymore.
[hurriedly scoops up eight-ball]
– Jim Irsay
Pooping in to say good luck. We’re all counting on you.
That was a very moving comment.
What a shitty thing to do.
FOAR HIPPO.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ovi1SKwfyxU
/scrambles to find new musical selection for tonight’s late open thread
(just kidding…but that one almost did get used)
I am reading their biography right now, it is amazing. I have played cards with El Hefe and gotten high with Fat Mike. They are what they look like, not fake in any way.
Okay. Is V.P. Pence better than Trump or should we hope that both of them get implicated and Speaker Ryan gets called off the bench to finish the term?
Barring Trump literally triggering nuclear armageddon, it’s better than a fanatical believer like Pence being in office.
Disagree. Pence will be awful but will at least have some respect for the norms of the institution.
Respect for norms means nothing to the people getting hurt right now. It means nothing to the Senate that’s passing these soulcrushing bills 51-50 every chance they get. It meant nothing when they stole a Supreme Court seat, even though they were given Merrick Garland, who they all approved of before they saw a chance to put a crony in their for life. It means nothing as Senators and Representatives actively dodge their constituents when they go back home. It is important to remember that it could be so much worse if we had a President with even the slightest amount of grace and cunning to go with the ruthlessness and indifference.
Good point. Last competent Presidents we had was Reagan and Clinton, and they were distracted with early Alzheimer’s and chasing sweet intern tail. Just imagine if they were Evil and focused.
/ Put down the pitchforks. Obama doesn’t get the list because all the hope and change went bye-bye when he started listening to Congress in the first term. Candidate Obama would’ve gotten a lot more good shit done better than President Obama.
I’m really interested to see how the 1980-2016 run looks in history 100 years from now. Each one is so hyper-romanticized/vilified depending on which side you sit on. Even the best regarded Presidents have significant problems with their legacy, and it’d be nice to see what it looks like when all of today’s stupid people are dead and the future’s stupid people get to decide who was good and why.
I agree, but think Pence is every bit as corrupted. This is why I say the Dems should run in 2018 with a pledge of Diamond Joe Biden for House Speaker.
It’ll be fun if only to see if Biden can accidentally say more awful shit than Trump does intentionally.
I say keep impeaching until we get to this guy
i want to see Speaker Ryan. That rat needs more time in the light.
Domino’s has “Carry-Out Insurance”? The pizza was ruined when it came out of the oven, jackwad.
If you can’t get a pizza home safely, you don’t deserve to have pizza.
Seriously, has no one heard of seat belts? smgdh
http://www.nydailynews.com/sports/football/lions-wr-burleson-breaks-arm-one-car-crash-article-1.1465731
I’m thinking about buying a Lexus, but I’m going to have to buy an older one that doesn’t have that catfish hoover looking grill. That’s just plain ugly.
What kind of bow?
Right. Lexuses are only for Christmas gifts.
I vote for the curtsy.
Agreed. Its odd how some model years the front of the car goes from “okay” to “what do you mean it wasn’t in a crash?”
San Diego State’s defense is gonna die on the field
Stopped at winery today, I really like one of their expensive wines. Brought one back, let father in law taste it, he really liked it and went back out and got 3 bottles. Funny the winery is called Marionette. Exactly.
It’s Raining in Baltimore?
But everything else is the same?
“…where you should be, no one’s around…”
– an exasperated defensive backs coach, going over film with Chris Conte
You get what you pay for…
“But I just have no intention of living this way.”
– Vince Young, going over a budget his accountant is trying to get him to stick to.
Hee hee, nice.
http://www.msn.com/en-us/movies/news/die-hard-screenwriter-explains-that-pesky-plot-hole/ar-BBHaOIo?ocid=ientp
…or it may not be a plot hole, and McClain is just being careful not to give some guy he just bumped into a loaded gun until he trusted him completely. Even Zeus didn’t get a gun until “…with a Vengeance” until halfway into the movie.
Also, the name Hans uses is from a different floor than the Nakatomi office, which is supposedly hte only one left in use. Also, McClain has wierd European Cigarettes but Hans doesn’t notice. Also, McClain maybe sorta kinda could’ve seen Hans through a vent when he kills Nakatomi. Also, the gun thing.
Gore with an Inconvenient Touchdown.
I have Indy +13.5 I will take it.
It’s 64° in Baltimore? Thanks Al!
THIS GUY FRANK GORE WHEN I CALL HIM I CALL HIM AL.
Okay, Betty.
“Don’t bother covering the Italian guy.”
eeeeeeet’s ah wide-ah-open-ah
“He’s a more slippery thanna wheel of parmigiano dipped inna da olive oil!”
For some reason, he seems like more of a hard worker than the other receivers.
Italians are all in the mafia – our US President.
Did army’s coach just apologize to the members of the armed forces for their first half play?
“Our performance in the first half has failed to gain a satisfactory score and I have withdrawn the troops. My decision to call the plays we did at this time and place was based upon the best information available. The players, the offense and the defense did all that Bravery and devotion to duty could do. If any blame or fault attaches to the attempt it is mine alone.”
P.S. Thanks, Obama!!111
Mission Accomplished! – George Bush
Now there’s a show I havent seen in a long time.
Do you watch it for the plot or for the plot?
My username was a throwaway joke from one of its creators!
I’m currently reading an Arthur C. Clarke book where the main character’s name is “Rikki”. It feels weird.
Rikki, don’t lose that (page) number.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zv-tjDsdduc
“Three yards and a cloud of talcum power.”
-Frank Gore’s running philosophy
NEVAR get an elephant horny
Nice.
YES, all the Tucker FGs, Ratbirds.
Are you also starting Tucker in your FFL championship game? Because I am starting Tucker in my FFL championship game. In a related note, I made it to my FFL championship game. Everyone here cares deeply about that.
Even with Luck Indy is a shitty team iMO
7-9, tops
How much of Greg Gumbel’s voice can I take before I pass out?
“Who’s that?”
– Trent Green
also, Mack Brown in the Army fixture ain’t helping
Depends, did you also make the mistake of accepting a drink that he handed you?
Foxy soccer down to 10 men levels United in extra time
they hold onto the point?
2-2 Full time.
Nice knockers
Can’t wait to hear Ray Lewis talk about how disappointed he in his team after this loss
That singing girl NFL intro song was weird….. guess Im too used to NFL on FOX theme.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbU4fPYRvcY
How we gon’ keep the Mexican invaders out? Army can’t tackle fer sheeeeeit!
Hmmm maybe “the wall” is really an economic one, disincentivizing anyone from living here. Of course, is you’re not paying taxes in the first place…
When’s CBP getting a team?
No can haz wall?
I’m going to get beer. Anyone need smokes or anything?
Grab me some rubbers if you’d be so kind.
I might wanna make water balloons later.
Back in high school, I took a trip to the Coca-Cola Factory and had some apple-flavored Coke they make in Asia. If you find some while you out, grab me a bottle?
See if they have plums floating in perfume in a man’s hat. I prefer a trilby, but I guess a 10-gallon would do in a pinch.
I’ll have to see if any of the beach bars have teevees for the games tomorrow. It’s nice to be back somewhere where the games start at a decent hour, 2 here!
THIS DOK ZYMM I CALL HER CARMEN SANDIEGO BECAUSE WHERE IN THE WORLD IS SHE?
Though I don’t think she’s a criminal mastermind. Yet.