WHO CARES?
This is actually your Lesser Footy Open Thread for Saturday morning, Wild Card Weekend. A thing that the Houston Texans, whatever they are, will NOT be participating in.
Good morning everyone! This is Balls here and I’m taking a hilarious post template that Romonobyl put together and finally letting it see the light of day.
The EPL is taking the weekend off because… reasons? Well, they WERE the only league fully playing during the holidays, so maybe that’s it.
The Spanish league is back from the break and we have some good games super early. Is this an early Día de los Reyes Magos present? MAYBE!!
For those of you that didn’t grow up in this tradition, January the 6th is like a second Christmas for certain Spanish-influenced cultures. As all good Catholics know, the baby Jesus
was visited by the three Kings (or wise men, alternatively) who brought him gold, frankincense, and myrrh as birthday presents and to pay him homage.
In that spirit, little kids in many Spanish-speaking countries wake up to little presents brought to them by the three Kings. FUCK YOU I’M GETTING PRESENTS SO YOU’RE DAMN RIGHT I BELIEVE IN SANTA AND THE THREE KINGS!
There is also Rosca de Reyes.
This is a Mexican tradition in which families gather together on the 6th to share presents and a slice of a specially-made sweet bread with at least one plastic baby Jesus inside. Rosca goes best with hot chocolate, coffee, or milk.
The tradition is that whoever gets the slice with the baby Jesus inside MUST host a party before a month is gone.
Since we are a Christmas Eve family and we, frankly, couldn’t wait, we had slices last night (It was the 6th in Australia, ok?!?) and my Dad got the baby! Party at my Dad’s house!
Also, our Rosca has 3 babies, so there are still two other chances for a party! Don’t you wish you were Mexican now?
But I digress. What games are on today? Let’s see…(All times Pacific)
And what about beautiful Canadia, you say?
Uh, what the fuck is a Fanatiz? That doesn’t sound like the Mexican league is readily available in The Great White North, which is really a shame.
This is Week 1 of the Liga MX Clausura season, so we are starting fresh! Defending champion Tigres, you remember Tigres, right?
lost their first game, so once again the league is wide open for anyone to claim.
Besides, what else are you going to do this morning, go outside in the cold?
We’ll see you later for the Wild Card Open Threads…
Wow, I forgot all about that admittedly silly post I made oh-so-many terrible football games ago. Maybe Deshaun Watson will put the Texans(?) on the map so we can steer attention away from JJ for awhile.
I thought it was hilarious. A shame for it not to be seen.
Returning to his home planet.
Escape velocity.
Jeebus Christmas.
Raffy….I just don’t know what to say here. Especially considering the real reason you’re probably doing this.
I wish I knew you were gonna do this two years ago so I could have shown my derision in person.
https://www.cbssports.com/mlb/news/look-heres-proof-the-53-year-old-rafael-palmeiro-wants-to-make-a-comeback/
And btw Dayn Perry….I look pretty goddamned good hitting off a batting machine too.
Does that mean I should make a comeback at 51?
He knows they test for steroids, right?
Jesus Christ, St. John’s is losing to DePaul at home. I guess they lied about this year being a bubble team if things broke right!
DePaul at home?? That’s Full Dotard territory, eh?
It’s currently 13 with 3 minutes to play!
I guess things broke left.
Kinda shitty last few secs there Mizzou.
But you never shoulda been in a position where it should have mattered.
ESSSSS EEEEEEE SEEEEEEEE
Somewhere, John Swofford and John Clougherty are taking notes.
smgdh
Seriously Hippo. I know ACC officials are….well, you know.
But this SEC crew in the Mizzou/UF game need to be investigated.
Holy shit.
The SEC plays hoopsball, PAAAAWWWWWWLLLLL?
And Clark Kellogg is still an imbecile, btw.
And that was total goaltending on UF. Was it called? Nope.
Poor U*NC. It’s gonna stink having to go back to Chapel Hill and go to class after that one.
Hehehehehe….never mind. I’m not explaining that one.
Fucking Wahoowa didn’t score for like the last 4.5 minutes, still won by 12. What a fucking joke.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-8bNoVrQf_A
0 wins jersey. That’s classic!
U*NC taking it up the pooper in Hooville. They barely won their home opener v. shitass Wake Forest, otherwise would be staring at 0-3 in league play.
I haven’t seen a massacre like this in Charlottesville since….
Never mind, I’m not gonna finish that one.
Since Bowling Green, I’d imagine.
#AirballFreeThrow
now, #AirballLayup
Wow, shocking. Officials trying to screw Mizzou and give this game to UF.
But UF too stupid to take it.
CTE (Canine Traumatic Encephalopathy) protocol?
Yes, horses are dicks.
https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js
Shit! THE PARADE!
Is anyone watching?
JSD better be giving us a Boots on the Ground…
I don’t live in Cleveland.
This was worth travelling for. #ThePauls #LivingHistory
That’s just what someone who lives in Cleveland would say.
Hmmmmmm…..
In this weather, my house could catch fucking fire and I am not trying to escape…
Lookit Drew writing FOAR grownups!!
https://www.gq.com/story/michael-wolff-white-house-trump-access
youse really should read, he hits the nail right on the head
Refresh my memory again, what happens when teams tie 0-0? The Stevenage/Reading fixture turned into a grade 8 dance because try as they might, they didn’t score.
FA Cup, you get a replay at the visiting side’s ground for any kind of draw.
Seems like a waste of time for the bigger squads, even if they send out their C squad
In the olden days, they did that FOREVER. At least now, there is only one replay (if tied again, you get added time, then shootout).
It’s hard on smaller squads, too. As Litre and I were discussing, the year Wigan made their miracle run, they also went down, and they ain’t never been back.
As Robbie Earle loves to say about all extra competitions…poison chalice
It’ll never happen, but, I think it’d be amazing if the winner gets an automatic promotion into the EPL for the following year.
Imagine Notts County going on a magical run and getting bumped up like 6 divisions
Much better prize than entry into CL/Europa, where they just play 4-5 matches and get butt-hammered, too.
posted without comment…
http://talkingpointsmemo.com/livewire/trump-very-stable-genius-twitter-rant
I mean, it worked for Eric Garland. . .
But seriously though, it’s probably his intern doing this in order to sidetrack Americans from the insane accusations from Wolf’s book
As stable as francium.
with a YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGE wee-wee two!!
you chelsea futbol lawn ferry dandies
why dont you score a damn goal!! come on!!!!!!
give it to the guy with the hair that looks like ramen noodles. he seems like he can get a point!
I assume Chelsea rolled out the B side, with a smattering of Cs for this’un
Little known fact: When entering the manger, one of the three wise men stepped on a rake. The handle flew up and smacked him in the face. Eyes tearing in pain, he held his hands to his face and exclaimed “JESUS CHRIST!!” Mary looked up at Joseph and said, “Oh, Joseph, I like that name so much better than Murray!”
Vizier Sideshow Bob
@Hippo…
As you know, the WPC and myself are on the outs, in spite of the fact that they keep calling/writing/etc trying to schmooze me. Just one moar individual/organization which now hates me, but still wants money. Meh…fuck ’em. Who cares? But as I’ve told you already I believe, my season baseball tix have not and will not be renewed this season.
That being said, I did purchase a mini season ticket pair yesterday for the Bulls. My point being, I am dragging your ass kicking and screaming to at least one game this summer. We will reprise our drunkeness behind the “hit bull win steak” sign, and ogle young lovelies.
So prepare your anus. Figuratively speaking, of course.
You know you want to. Don’t say “no”. (wow, flashback to my last date)
Plus, my “membership representative”…Courtney….sounds very cute on the phone.
something something sail off on my member ship something something
Plus…BoTG minor league baseball post.
You know you want a photo of you posted with the tWBS boob censor over your face.
Hehehehehehehe
The Wasted Penis Consortium?
That means two things.
LOL, so does that.
Wolfpack Club.
NCSU booster/fundraising organization.
They lied to me one too many times. Sounds familiar, no?
Yeah, I wouldn’t trust those assholes…
The funny thing, well not funny really but appreciated…
When I ordered these Durham Bulls tix yesterday, I did it online. Literally, within 15 minutes, Courtney called to check in and ask if I had any questions or if she could help in any way.
It’s a refreshing change to give money to an organization that actually values the source of where the money came from. Very welcome change from my recent dealings with the WPC.
Once Lifetime Rights came into play, they started treated “shareholders” like a captive audience instead of valued customers, even (as noted above, I think university supporters should be treated like shareholders, especially since you never know who is going to turn into a bidness big shot).
For example, the Goodnight husband and wife team who run the SAS empire – NC State graduates. They don’t give a plum nickel to athletics. Talk about a once-in-a-generation (or several generations) lost opportunity. That’s all the Down East pig money put together, times ten. AT LEAST.
Agreed. You have no idea how happy I am about the timing of me leaving the area for a while, thus giving up season football tix and not being tempted by the LTR bullshit.
I guess my insane and now dead ex did do me some good after all.
And remind me to tell you sometime (if I haven’t already…sorry, my memory is shot) about how I almost got in on that down east pig money.
Biggest mistake of my life. I’d have smelled like hog shit for five years and then been a rich muddafukka.
And would have avoided a lot of the figurative shit life threw at me anyway.
And been closer to the beach too!!!!!!!!
maybe
I don’t wanna hear about no muddafukking maybe’s…Alls I wanna hear from yo’ ass is I’m on the muddafukka. LOL.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzNvicZWZ_A
WPC? White people club?
/Go Railriders!
I’m excited for all the rare moon action at the end of the month.
Butt
I love shorty short skirts…
Wow, it’s really cold. And this is a lot of snow.
FUCK IT LET’S PLAY!!!!!!!!
Our dog is a lab-mix with ridiculously short hair, and no body fat. Currently 12 here, feels like -4 with the wind, which is a real issue for him.
He keeps wanting to go for a walk and I keep bringing him outside and we get to the end of the driveway and he says “fuck this” and heads back.
For the record the outdoor cat’s fort has been buried in snow and is essentially an igloo. She is thriving and someday will kill us all.
my cat insists on shitting/pissing outside. We got like 1.5 inches Thursday evening, but it ain’t been over 30 since (and gets down to 10-12 every night). So…it’s been challenging for him.
Thankfully, he’s held it pretty well. No piles of stink anywhere. He’s been going out maybe twice a day.
Igloos don’t get no colder than freezing.
Ppl forget that.
(glad she’s doing well bcuz I’d have felt kinda bad if my advice had led to your jerk cat freezing to death….woooo for the kinda smart vet advicing!!!!!!)
I am not going to be at all surprised to walk by the fort one day and see that she has installed a wood stove in it.
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Robot
I prefer Crouching Tiger, Hidden Penis
If I wanted to watch a robot swinging a sword around I’d watch Pacific Rim.
And I *do* want to do that, so I’m going to go watch Pacific Rim.
Nah, because then I think about how long they waited to pull that out of their asses and it makes me angry. Dumbest monster fighters ever.
Season 3, goddammit!
¡OLE! ¡OLE! ¡OLE!
https://gfycat.com/ImmediateUnsightlyHoneyeater
I’m most impressed your phone was at 62% at 2am
I start to panic if my phone gets below 80%, I don’t know how you Millenials live that way ,, smh
My iPhone can’t go below 30% because it’s only an iPhone 6 Plus and Apple fucking sucks.
BlackBerry 4Eva!!!
You do know that thing is probably gonna die before you do….right?
Sorry, didn’t mean to depress you further.
😛
Not if he keeps making stupid bets.
when
That’s what I meant.
Ditto.
It’s the only thing I hate about flying, truth be told. My recent layover in ATL (coming home from Vegas) I was sprinting around to different gates trying to find just ONE goddamned outlet which wasn’t already in use.
Meh.
I know someone who travels with a surge protector extension cord in her carry-on just for this reason (and because she’s a good person).
I do this. It works great.
Good man.
I have one of those somewhere, but I always forget to pack it.
Keep it next to the “furniture.”
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0194WDVHI/ref=psdcmw_7073960011_t1_B00X5RV14Y
Vice made a Gorilla Channel. https://www.pscp.tv/w/1DXxyEeArRExM
found it. hahahahahahahahahaha
this joke has officially jumped the shark.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAfiAUTDCW0
It’s amazing it took that long. The funny thing is that most people probably have no idea about the Gorilla Channel tweet yet or may not ever know.
As an aside, I wonder why so few people have noted that gorillas have small genitals relative to their size, possibly smallest of all the apes.
gonna keep my eye on that Vice feed.
I last checked and they have 350+ viewers.
about 2 hrs ago they had 90…….
Coach meltdown right down the road.
https://www.tsn.ca/must-see/video/must-see-gulutzan-rips-his-team-in-stick-tossing-tirade~1297384
Man for man they’re better than any fuckin’ club in the league!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=En1SvG9tOSg
oh shit.
Man city with the 2 goals in under 2 minutes!
“I’m, like, really smart. A stable genius.”
hahahahaha
Fuck it.
$200 on RAMMIT to cover. $50 on the over.
Go go Goff n Gurley. Make tWBS some scrilla.
NO ACTION on Tits/Chefs. Don’t trust either side to not fuck it up.
Take the over on number of ribs consumed by Andy Reid t half-time. Easiest money ever.
We understand betting has now been suspended…
Did Kansas City run out of ribs AGAIN?????
“Southhampton have been cracked open…”, now let’s all feast on the goo inside!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RzybAS7zltE
I do not understand rugby at all. “Scrum foul”? It’s a scrum; I thought fouling people was the whole point of a scrum!
If one bathes regularly, it reduces the foul of their scrum.
I hate everything. I am such a child but this will bother me all day. Fuck.
Welcome to the club.
Man city is shook.
I have to say the title caught me and I was saying who’s week is it for Hippo’s hiatus?
COME ON YOU WHITES!!! (fulham nawt raycess)
I think Burnley has a shot at breaking the streak.
oh, DO BETTER, whites
-Carib Indians, 1492
nuclear winter is nice
cause I still haven’t lost power!
EPL are on breakfor the “everybody plays” round on the FA Cup.
I will be cheering on Litre’s mighty Fulham whites (no ofence) against evil bastard man’s side on FS2 in 2 minutes.
Also, I hate parties so wud be a bad Mexican MOAR LIEK a Mexican’t smh
I’m having a craving for Sponch.
Bimbo must translate to something else
It’s a giant food company in Latin America.
And pronounced “Beeembo”…which makes it cute and not insulting.
Mostly.
¡Feliz Día de Reyes! A big BIG thank you to all that cooperated with the toy drive for kids here in Puerto Rico. Over 30,000 toys are to be distributed; the original goal was 10,000.
You’re the best, folks.
https://www.toysrus.com/toys4PuertoRico
That’s awesome to hear. Definitely puts a smile on my otherwise sourpuss face. Well done, Don T.
But you obviously have mistaken us for someone else.
If you’re looking for a random team to cheer for, you should support Valencia. Their logo is essentially Batman’s.
iVamos Pumas! . . . and any team that is playing against that rat bastard, Camilo, who plays for Queretaro.
Wow, just wow.
I’m inclined to cheer for Hellas Verona because of these ladies (Lee Seung-woo plays for them)
Also, Wakezilla posted this last night and I thought it merited a repeat since the game is about to start:
They have a friendly fan base